Black People : Abusive Relationship

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by legit-writer, Jun 7, 2013.

  1. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Has anyone on here ever been in an abusive relationship? What I mean by that is emotionally or mentally abusive. If so, what kind of things was done that told you that you were being abused? How did you find a way to get out of that if it was hard to determine at first whether or not you was being abused?
     
  2. ru2religious

    ru2religious Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I hope both women and men respond in this thread because mental abuse is not a gender thing but a cross cultural, geographical humanitarian issue.
     
  3. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    yeah this is definitely not just one gender. both genders do this. I just want some insight from the members here on experience.
     
  4. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I've been in both...I think the mental abuse was way worse then the physical, only because it lasted longer.

    I was down in Oakland supposed to be visiting my ex, trying to work things out...and only staying there for a week...he ended up not taking me to the airport and I couldn't leave his house unless he was with me...not only that before I left I gave him some money to help out with rent expecting him to pay me back before I left (reason being is I had known him for 15 years and trusted him)...well come to find out while I was down there he was on something brand new...he was drinking "lean" (aka syrup, sizzrup...etc..DM), and he was on one...He even pulled a gun out on me...if I was on the phone with my mom he would be ease dropping somewhere....I was there for a month and only left the house twice (meaning got on the BART and went somewhere)...After he pulled the gun out on me I was on serious trip mode...He would hide my things from me and tell me I couldn't get it back till he was ready to give it back...He would let me go to the store by myself but I'd have to come back...I could have left, but I was freaked the hell out...there was days he would be nice, then switch up real quick.
    After awhile he finally gave me my money after practically begging him and telling him I needed to go home to my daughter...so I finally got taken to the airport by his homeboy.
    The house and him were a mental prison...I felt so drained of what was inside of me.
    At first I really didn't know what to think, till the gun came out.

    The physical abuse one didn't last long...as soon as he started putting hands on me and pushing me into things and breaking things in my house, it was a don' don' datta.
     
  5. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    i was abused by a short, nappy headed, dark skin black woman with a napoleonic complex…...:angel1:
     
  6. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I got cussed out every day





    .
     
  7. houserunner

    houserunner Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I was in a financially abusive relationship and never been the same since. What's up with the ramping up debts and attempting to try and hide it and not expect THAT elephant in the room not to get noticed, especially when the weight of the elephant's foot is slowly crushing you?

    Like the raven, NEVER MORE! lol
     
  8. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If you come to a person with a concern or something you don't like that they're doing for it makes you feel uncomfortable, insecure or whatever it is, and that person always on the defense, and saying you're starting a fight. is that part of emotional/mental abusive behavior?
    and if so, why?
     
  9. Adisa Hendrix

    Adisa Hendrix Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You are a hero to women that have suffered this issue.

    The only difficulty is afterwards... making sure you don't attract that type of problem again.

    From what I have seen, to conquer domestic violence, men and women need an outlet during their anger.

    If there are angry looks, someone needs to leave.

    But don't let anyone online or in person discourage you... what matters is that you conquered your problem.
     
  10. Jaya Makara

    Jaya Makara Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I was abused for 3yrs by a man I thought I loved. I was lied to everyday and told he loved me. And when we fought I was every negative name under the sun. I remember the first time he hit me. Smh. I went to visit him and we got into an argument. He grabbed my by my hair and threw me out the house he choked me and slammed me against the wall several times and tried to dig my eye out with his fingers.

    It got worse after that. I was pregnant about 4mons and he beat me up in the kitchen to the point where he lacerated my ear drum and bruised my rib cage. I lied to my daughter about what happened to protect him. He tried to kill me twice by choking me to the point I almost passed out both times.

    He always told me he loved me then when we fought he hated me never loved me I wasn't good enough for him, he was sleeping with other women. I always thought it was me. Made fun of my scars and previous incidents that happened to me. He was addicted to coke, prescription pills and me.

    I went through physical, verbal and financial abuse with this man because every time he needed money he came to me. And when I asked him he would give me the run around. For 3yrs all i could do was cry. I couldn't understand why he did that to me and I talked to a many of people who told me it wasn't me. But I was so wrapped into him I thought they were lying.

    I started behaving like him and I noticed it. So did he but he didn't realize I was doing to him what he did to me. He always said I made him suffer. He was always the victim and honestly that started to make me mad and lash out at him.

    Then I started digging. Through everything and when I found out the real truth about this man I freed myself. I went banana sandwich crazy and made it seem like I was the issue and let him walk away from me. That was the best thing I have ever done for myself besides raising a mini Queen.

    I wanted more out of life. More for myself. So I bounced and never looked back.
     
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