Black Men : Abortion

Discussion in 'Black Men - Fathers - Brothers - Sons' started by skuderjaymes, May 9, 2011.

  1. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    Has a woman carrying your child ever aborted the pregnancy? how did you
    feel then.. and how do you feel now? Was it a mutual decision.. or was it
    against your will?


    I'm interested in the Male side of the issues surrounding abortion.. not what the
    man thinks the woman should do or feel.. but what the man thinks and feels
    about his own part..
     
  2. Corvo

    Corvo navigator of live MEMBER

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    I have not been there

    But interested
     
  3. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    This question is really just one of those things to think about..
    I don't expect many responses.. I think it's a very difficult thing to discuss..
    even for men.. I've been in the situation before where the woman said she
    was pregnant and asked me what she should do.. and I walked around for a
    couple weeks with that question on my mind.. it was a very difficult set of
    feelings.. part of me was wishing she would just do it and leave me out of it..
    and the other part of me.. the biggest part of me.. was completely against it..
    I could not wrap my mind around the idea.. finally, I told her I wanted to keep
    the baby and that, even though I could not be with her the way she wanted,
    that I would be fully present in my child's life with full support.. and as soon
    as I told her, I knew immediately that she had never been pregnant, that she
    was lying about the whole thing.. just playing games.. trying to see what I
    would do.. 2 weeks later, she tells me she had a miscarriage.. a year or
    so after the final breakup, she tells me she had an abortion. I didn't believe
    it then, and I don't want to believe it now.. though it may actually be true.

    it really is a difficult question and answer.. and the consequences are far
    reaching.. ultimately though, it's the woman's decision but the feelings
    belong to everyone involved.. I don't think the baby just goes away..
    I think the feelings may be buried down deep but I still believe they are
    there.. but, again, we rationalize away what we can't handle.. or.. don't
    want to handle.. we give it to God.. or give it to doubt.. or mute it.. ignore
    it.. hide from it.. and hope it dissolves and evaporates.. ​
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I never had to cross this road

    But totally against such act .
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Brother I hear you, I would have did the same i believe there is life so let
    the light live and shine, I am totally against abortions......
     
  6. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    I don't know that I am against abortions in general.. I think it's a personal
    decision.. I'm against the abortion of my children.. my, me, I.. what other
    folks do is their business.. and their consequences.. I understand the way the
    debate over abortion has been framed.. but I disagree with the entire premise so
    I can't take a side.. but when it comes to my seed.. I choose life.. but even
    then.. it's not up to me.. it's up to her.. I have no recourse.. legal or otherwise..
    How can I even know if it's my baby?? It's a slippery slope once you take
    that condom off.. you can slide down into oblivion.. that's why I tell
    the young folks in my circle of influence to wrap it up and even then give some
    serious thought to who you lay with.. it could have life long consequences..
    you gotta use your big head first.
     
  7. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    That's me......I'm against it when it come to me and mines
    but i'm also a person who believe in life , so let live !
    why abort a life.....I let any woman i may deal with know up front what i feel
     
  8. maf

    maf On a marvelous journey. MEMBER

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    I have been there twice unfortunately. Both calls I made from a purely logical perspective, if I couldn't give my all to the baby and ensure a peaceful and nurturing environment then why bring the child into this world. So I had to live with 2 children not born because of mostly my decision. Then I had the startling revelation that having a child is the closest we get to God in this life. My whole perspective has changed and I would do what I had to in order to ensure the child is taken care of. Choice is a beautiful thing and it represents true freedom but a life being created demands serious contemplation and maximum effort to follow through and raise that child without regret. Children truly can bring out the best in a person but most of the turmoil comes from within us. It is important to be introspective and see what drives your decision to possible abort a pregnancy. And since the choice rests mainly with the female be sure to support her even it is unplanned. I apologize for rambling but the subject is deeply a part of me and has shaped my growth accordingly.
     
  9. NyneElementz

    NyneElementz Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I've been there once and it was really the mother being dead set on the abortion. I agreed up until the point where we were in the clinic, and I changed my mind. The woman I once loved and who bore my son all the sudden changed into this cold and bitter person who I didn't know. In retrospect, I wish that the abortion never happened. I wish that we used more restraint so that it would never have been necessary in her mind. My son could have had abrother or sister closer to his age to relate to in my bloodline, but now he has to deal with being my only child.

    I told my son about it and didn't hide my feelings about it. He was almost aborted himself, but I'm glad we didn't do it. My son is a blessing to me, one that I cherish. Although he does not have a closer-aged brother or sister to relate to, at least I have God's forgiveness to be thankful for. Dealing with those emotions was a hard thing for me.
     
  10. Black-king

    Black-king Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Abortion is wrong and I am totally against it, this one of the things that are destroying our community right now. The stats on Black women abortions are monstrous, talk about Black genocide, this is one of the tools used to do it. Check this video out.

     
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