Black People : AA'S and Spanking children

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by Therious, Mar 26, 2005.

  1. Therious

    Therious Banned MEMBER

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    Does the tradition of beating, spanking, hitting your kids which is so prevalent amongst AA's come from slavery? Is this yet another deeply programmed self destructive behavior learned from brutal whites?
    sure some kids need to be disciplined , but can you link the violent nature in aa communities today in part to child hood beatings? Learingto solve problems with physical violence? Do other peoples of afrikan descent beat their kids with the frequency of aa's? I watched a documentry where an amercan indian stated they did not believe in punishing kids by hitting as the whites would do when they put(stole) their kids in orphanages and military schools.

    this is not a debate on should we spank kids, its a question of is spanking a direct link to slavery and brainwashing? :karate:
     
  2. Steve69

    Steve69 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think all races have use spanking as a form of discipline and teaching right from wrong. Each generation seems to use it less and less. But you can also see there are now more discipline problems. I think it still is needed at times and has a place in raising children. But is very wrong when some people use it as abuse and out of anger.
     
  3. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    I agree. Slavery did not teach us to spank our kids. It did teach us to beat them viciously for the wrong reasons and at the wrong time,BTW, there is a world of difference between a beating and a spanking. A beating is uncontrolled violence against a child who may or may not understand why the beating is taking pace. It is done in anger usually as a last resort when the nerves are frayed and when is at one's wits end. A spanking on the other hand is done solemly. The child knows exactly for what infringement of a previously given rule he or she is being spanked.

    I know you said you did not want a debate about whethe or not we should spank our kids, but this question is hard to answer withuot getting into why spanking is still useful today.
     
  4. Nita

    Nita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well,

    I don't believe it started with the slavery of African Americans because the Bible speaks about if you spare the rod then you spoil the child..spoil means that they will go bad. That told me personally that sometimes it's necessary to have to whip your children in order to keep them on the right path. Some people might tell you to use time out, and positive reinforcement disciple measures...which is fine, but I spank when it's needed and reward when they deserve it.
     
  5. Therious

    Therious Banned MEMBER

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    the bible is full of contradiction. if it were some one your own size would you hit them if you were in disagreement? disrespect? sometimes adults need to get hit also , when was the last time you were in a fight?

    if some one stole from you, or hurt your family would you take violent action? what about murder if you knew they could come back for revenge?
     
  6. Ralfa'il

    Ralfa'il Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Like Steve, I don't think spanking is necessarily a habit we developed from slavery but just a natural instinctive reaction as human beings all over the world.

    Most African and Asian cultures with no history of slavery also spank and beat thier children.

    Children...especially those in the early stages...don't reason like adults so verbal punishment isn't very effective. They only understand reward and punishment for thier actions and spanking teaches them right from wrong in a most excellent manner.


    What I see as a problem is too many parents taking the frustration of thier lives out on their children....and that's wrong. A parent should never spank or beat their children in rage or uncontrolable anger.
     
  7. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    i raised a son without spanking or beating or ridiculing him.
    he knows right from wrong.

    now, if he could only get a job.
     
  8. Nita

    Nita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hey Theo,

    Yes, I agree, there are conradictions in the Bible so I have no argument there.
    I personally would not hit anyone over a simple disagreement because I was taught better than that. If someone disrespected me, which has happened many times in my life, then me personally can't be held accountable for someone elses lack of respect and upbringing, nor would disrespecting them back bring any kind of resolution to the problem. I try to go to that person in hopes to resolve the issue, if that doesn't work..which there will be times it wont..then I have no other choice but to take it to God. I have small children that watch everything I do. I can't fight and curse and make a fool of myself
    because I want to be the best example for them.
    I also agree adult sometimes need to be smacked, but that goes back to teaching the adult when he/she is a child so that they will know how to act in society.

    If memory serves me correctly, I've only been in about 3 fights in my 28 years of life. The last fight I was in was when I was in the 9th grade I believe. My parents always taught me not to result to violence but there were certain situations I was faced with where I had to protect and defend myself.
    I'm going thru a situation with my son right now because I was teaching him not to result to violence like my parents taught me. Being in the sixth grade with all the children from 7 or 8 different schools in our town combined together, it is very hard for him. Not all these children were taught to respect others and it's a major problem. Now the schools are faced with trying to discipline these unruly children when alot of this could have been prevented at home.

    Well, someone has stolen from me but God has always blessed me with even better things. People have hurt my family but beating the daylight out of them wont change or correct any of the wrong doing. it might make you feel good for a second, but when reality sets back in you stall have the same situation so no violence is not an answer for me.
    I have had family and friends that have been murdered and that is a sad way to go for even the hardest criminals, but again, if I resulted to that, what would it solve? What have I gained but added pain to the same broken heart and now a guilty consciences.
     
  9. Oba Iparankanru

    Oba Iparankanru Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    In terms of black americans i think it comes from influence of poor whites they lived around. But I think it should stop, it teaches kids to be docile and complacent.
     
  10. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    We can go to the spirituality forum to discuss the integrity of the Bible. Buuuut...spanking one's own child and fighting a grown adult are two entirely different things and should not be put in juxtaposition. I brought that child into the world so it is my responsibility to teach that child the right way to be. what I don't teach my child the police will.

    On the other hand It is not my responsibility to teach a grown adult what his or her parents could not. If an adult steals from me I call the police. Do I call the police on my child? Do I call the child protective service and tell them to protect me from the child?

    I tried time out. It does not work. The violence and predatory behavior of children today was virtually unknown when spanking was in widespread use.
     
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