Black People : A Woman's Place

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by Monetary, Jan 9, 2004.

  1. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    This topic actually stems from the thread called "For Liars, Hypocrites, & Sycophants" created by Happy69.

    What is a woman's place in a relationship? Some say by her man...supporting him...nurturing him. Others say wherever she chooses to be. What do you think?

    Ladies...where do you think your place is in a relationship? What determines your place in a relationship? And do or will you speak with your daughter(s) or young girls about their place in a relationship?

    Fellas...where do you think a woman's place is in a relationship?

    I think it's very important that we understand what our significant other thinks about our specific roles in the relationship...if any at all.
     
  2. Aqil

    Aqil Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Let us hear your opinions first, Monetary...then we'll go from there...:)
     
  3. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Aqil...

    I thought I'd post the questions first...and then share my views.

    Let me preface these next few statements by saying that I do not believe that the man is the head of the household as stated by the bible or that women are innately submissiveor a man innately dominant. Those that I've conversed with who believe this also believe that a woman should stand behind the man and support him in a way which boosts his ego, self-esteem, public image, etc etc...even if she has to put herself on hold to do so.

    I believe in both parties consciously working together to achieve common goals. I do not believe in predetermined roles per se for either the man or the woman. If either individual were not there for whatever reason (ill or crippling accident), the other would have to step in and make sure that whatever needs to be done gets done.

    Hence, a relationship is like a team where both parties do what they do best to benefit the team. THE FOCUS SHOULD BE ON THE TEAM (OR THE RELATIONSHIP)...NOT THE INDIVIDUAL.

    So, a woman's place in the relationship is where she can best benefit the relationship.
     
  4. Aqil

    Aqil Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Don't most teams have a captain?
     
  5. Livinitlovinit

    Livinitlovinit Member MEMBER

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    I particilarly like to use a man/woman role instead of place. I'm the HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD, as GOD intended me to be. That does not mean, and so many get that confused, that I'm trying to be your daddy. I dont demand a hot meal everyday, or feel my lady belongs in the house cooking and cleaning instead of reaching goals she set before and after we got together. I dont demand she checks in on the hour every hour. When it comes to issues with our life and household, WE will discuss it, ALL opinions will be taken in complete consideration, and the best decision will be made for us and our family. WE both will ALWAYS have respect for each other. I do agree that both parties should work together to achieve goals. I also think the roles were predetermined by God. No matter how you look at, what you do, a Woman will NEVER be a man and a man will NEVER be a woman. So there have to be a line somewhere. PERIOD.
     
  6. PositiveMindset

    PositiveMindset Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    In a sense I disagree with your belief of the man being the head of the household.

    Many parts of the bible don't speak literally, but figuratively.

    Many times, when a man comes home & he's in a negative mood, that negativity goes 2 the rest of the household, such as if U have a cold or flu, the rest of your body feels the effects, but it all starts in the head.

    If that man comes home in a jovial mood & his mate is upset, his positive energy will be engulfed by his mate, thereby transforming the negative energy that was in the household before he arrived into positive energy.

    The Almighty also said that the woman is the man's helpmate, meaning exactly that.

    She helps him in all aspects of life, it is man who has said the woman should stay behind the man in a relationship, because that is what some men believe, I am not one of them.

    If a woman backs her man regardless of her own wants & needs, that relationship is doomed, due 2 her unsatisfaction, which will reflect on the children & their relationships with people.

    Men are dominant over the women 4 the simple fact that they are the protectors of the household, which goes back 2 the head idea. The head protects the body by the thoughts it contrives in order 4 the body 2 function correctly. Women have arrived at the misconception that the amount of money one makes decides who is dominant in a relationship, but in all reality, dominance is determined by the power one has & the ability 2 utilize that power effectively.

    Example: Lionesses hunt 4 the pride, but the Male lions protect that pride from invaders, thereby being the head of the pride (household).
     
  7. Livinitlovinit

    Livinitlovinit Member MEMBER

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    This can go both ways. If one or the other is in a negative mood, then the family MAY feel it. That's where the induvidual have to notice that and be sure to leave those issues at work or outside of the house. It's like getting up for work in the morning, and sometimes you dont feel like, but you do. You choose your attitude in the morning, so do the same before you come home.

    I agree to some degree. There have to be some give and take in relationships. Both will have to sacrafice some wants and needs.

    OK..Men arent dominant over women. Men are typically stronger physically. Being the protectors are our roles. I totally agree with the misconception about the money. Money plays no role in who's the head of the household. I've seen it all too often. I'm sure many of you have come across those who totally submitt their manly roles to their ladies, and she didnt respect him a little bit. Not only is that bad for the children to witness, but definitely bad when it's done outside where others will observe, and they too will have no respect for you either.
     
  8. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Yes...

    we're asking you what you think a woman's place is. Express your views.
     
  9. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Aqil

    ..all teams don't have captians. I just believe that the relationship/family should be led by a group (the woman and man) just like our people should be led by a group of elders. What do you think?
     
  10. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Liviti,

    I feel you on the use of "role" instead of "place." But, the word "place" was used in the other thread...so I rolled with it.

    Don't you think if the woman and man lead the relationship/family then there is no head of the house?

    I know that a woman can't be a man and a man can't be a woman. I'm not speaking of gender roles. I'm speaking of what is done in the relationship/family. How they interact.

    I'm glad you're sharing your views.
     
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