A Tribute To My Single Brothers!

Discussion in 'Black Men - Fathers - Brothers - Sons' started by Mike Ramey, Aug 3, 2002.

  1. Mike Ramey

    Mike Ramey Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Wanted to send some encouragement out to the single men in the house! Your married brothers STILL need you, and respect you...

    THE JOYS OF BEING A SINGLE MAN!

    A Single Man and a Married Man
    friends for life, met on one fine day;
    They conversed about life, their joys and their strife,
    and of other things had a lot to say.

    Said the Married Man to the Single Man,
    “Heed my words, they are true.
    It takes strength from above to keep one woman you love,
    Satisfied, loyal, and true to you.”

    Said the Single Man to the Married Man,
    “My friend, now heed what I say.
    Sometimes there’s sheer joy, in being among the boys;
    They have the needed edge to keep your manhood true blue.”

    A Single Man and a Married Man,
    Soon parted company, that fine day;
    Friends for life, never flinching, never shrill
    For they loved and respected one another,
    And do still.

    You may have heard about it, but there is a controversy brewing here in the lower 48 about a commercial featuring Popeye--and his arch-enemy Bluto--seemingly having a great time WITHOUT Olive Oyl, the woman who has been nothing but a source of frustration between the two men for a number of years. Of course, the product that is being sold is Orange Juice.
    However, the response to the commercial is worthy of note.

    Critics charge that the commercial portrays the two men as homosexuals because they are having a great time without a woman in their lives. Now, as one who has seen the commercial (plus, I enjoy Popeye cartoons among others), the sight of the two men getting along did take me aback. But, why is it that a man without a woman is though of as being ‘gay’ in this era of social enlightenment? After all; haven’t we MEN been told that “...a woman with a man is like a fish with a bicycle?”

    YUP--A DOUBLE STANDARD!
    Well, hold on to your hats. There is a double standard, in case you didn’t know.
    The feminized mainstream press of both the US and Canada has been bashing men for an untold number of years, and cannot believe that a couple of men can be ‘friends’ without a woman, let alone, without the ‘possibility’ of being ‘lovers’.

    Funny. Friendship between men used to be the norm. Now, it seems, if you have male friends to the exclusion of female companionship, one’s sexuality is questioned. In short; if men don’t act the way women want them to, then they are ‘suspected of being gay by association’.
    Ain’t THAT a kick in the head.
    That’s why I’m focusing on the friendship aspect of single men, and offering praise to its existence.

    A TOAST TO SINGLE MEN:
    To my single brothers, I lift my glass of Root Beer to you in a toast. You have the respect of your married brothers, round the world. If you happen to be single, and reading this, let me also say that it is perfectly all right NOT to have a woman in your life. After all, when you get right down to it, single men and married men USED to be friends, hang out together, and do things together BEFORE the feminists decided that this was ‘wrong’.
    There are true joys of being a single man.

    The first joy should be quite obvious. You have more time to dedicate to the worship of God, the bettering of your academic or professional credentials, and just plain old time to be alone and be engaged in your own pursuits.

    The second joy is that you can be a source of encouragement to those of us who are your friends who happen to be married. Like it or not, your encouragement is needed at times, when many of us may be ‘too close’ to an issue to see it clearly. There have been many times when my single friends ‘talked some sense’ into me, rather than ‘put up’ with my wanting to engage in bad behavior.

    The third and final joy; a single man can be himself without pretense in an era where there are too many spoiled, hard-headed, and quick-skirted women prowling the streets in search of a husband--or at least a one-night stand. Many of the single men that I know have opted out of the ‘hunted’ category, choosing intend to remain single.

    And, they like themselves just fine, thank you!

    MARRIAGE--NOT FOR EVERYONE:
    Not every man is meant to be married. Neither is every woman. When the two become one, it should not become a declaration of war, but a declaration of love, unity and commitment. If two can’t walk together as one, then why walk together at all? Nuff said on that point.

    Women, my single brothers, are wacky at best. I speak as a single, married, divorced and single, and married-again man. Let me state up front that I do like women! But, I stand on my recent comment; women are wacky at best.

    Allow me to explain myself.

    Before I got married the first time, the women that I (later) found who were interested in me, didn’t say anything until I had otherwise set my sights on one woman--whom I later married. I eventually found out (from several of my female friends) that there was a ‘woman’s agreement’ in play; they wouldn’t want to ‘cut in’ on ‘her’. After the divorce, more than one of them wondered why I had married ‘her’ in the first place.

    When I was single--again--the dating scene was more of a ‘Mission Impossible’; so many cover stories and the like, that it was only by the grace of God I met my present wife--and we have recently passed the ten-year anniversary milestone.

    But, I still have single male friends who enjoy my situation, and I enjoy theirs.
    It’s called ‘friendship’.

    KEEPING EACH OTHER FROM MISSING DETINY:
    In the Bible, we read about David and Jonathan having a friendship that goes beyond the closeness of a male/female relationship. Simply put; the two men understood, respected, cared, and loved one another. I think that it was due to the fact that David eventually married Jonathan’s sister Michal (and HE knew what a Witch his own sister was) so, at least in the comfort department, Jonathan was available for support.
    A man without real friends is a man adrift in the seas of confusion.
    There is nothing wrong with having a single man as a friend; even a close one.

    In literature, Holmes had Watson. On the silver screen, Riggs had Murtaugh. On the small screen, Starsky had Hutch. Even in one of my favorite plays, “My Fair Lady”, the married Colonel Pickering had to teach the single Professor Henry Higgins how to treat, and eventually win, Miss Eliza Doolittle.

    “Just be yourself!” Is what I read between the Pickering/Higgins relationship.

    This is so, so, true.

    Yes, in many of the examples I just mentioned, one of the men was leaning towards, or engaged in a marriage relationship. However, when you looked at the tale of the tape, the married man had a better relationship with his wife, because she knew the value of her husband having a true friend, even though the friend was a single man.

    She didn’t feel threatened by this relationship.

    So once again my single brothers; my glass is raised to you. You are important to the married brotherhood. Hopefully, we have given you the support that you have needed when hitting upon hard times, just as you have helped us when we have hit those similar patches of rough road in life. As the New Year continues to unfold, I hope that you see just how much we value you as an important part of our lives.

    To my married brothers; I would urge you to find a single man in your past, or present, who needs your friendship and encouragement. After all, someone was there for you! The time is now to return the kindness YOU were shown.

    And the married brotherhood said: ‘AMEN’!

    Mike Ramey lives in Indianapolis, Indiana. His syndicated column ‘The Manhood Line’ appears on various US and overseas websites. To correspond, drop an email to [email protected]. © 2002 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Amen to dis flow of reality......let da river run freely
     
  3. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    i agree...
    all of my male friends are married...
    i am the lone hold out...
    you brought up some very interesting topics...
    number 1 being a married man should have a single male friend, and visa versa...my friends learn from me, and i learn from them...
    one love
    khasm
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    true dat khasm i hear ya
     
  5. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I agree that single life is good. In a perfect world maybe I would consider commiting to a woman for the rest of my life, but I've learned my lesson. Never again. I'm not saying it out of hate or spite either, but out of experience. Some people are not meant to be married....well, that's me. I love women, but I don't want to take the plunge. I look at it now like..."why get married"? What are the benefits to being married for men? It's not about sleeping around either, because I am more than capable of having a long-term monogomous relationship with a woman. But why seal it with a contract? For what? To put the woman's mind at ease? I would like to have a relationship and live with someone but I will not be bound by a contract.
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    i feel you kente. sometime men just love to feel free from (bondmentship)
    if that a word ...but how much do single men really love the facts to be
    without a wife is the qoestion ?
    big ups to the single bruthas
     
  7. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I know me myself.....having been married....love being without a wife. I really didn't like marriage and I will not do it again. I like having someone in my life, in a monogomous relationship...but that little piece of paper changes things too much for me man. I don't like that the idea that marriage is the only way to have a meaningful long-term relationship. Too much is based on a ceromony and contract. I just think some people are not made for marriage...and that's me. :shades: Like Halle Berry said, "I want someone to be there because they want to be with me, not because a contract says they have to". I think maybe people that have not experienced it may have different ideas..but the fact that I married someone that to me was better than most women I've met (besides my mom and sister) and it still didn't work makes me see that it's not the path for me. There's too many good things in life besides marriage. Plus in my opinion I think marriage is too much of a business type arrangement.
     
  8. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Even tho multiple women is a very cool thang, I would like to experience a Girlfriend, commited relationship and marriage. I have done the lone wolf thing for a long time and the thought of chirrenz and an annoying and expensive wife sounds pleasent at times.
     
  9. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    sometime it's good for some men and bad for others.
     
  10. jgyknowledge

    jgyknowledge Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I agree marriage might not be for everyone.....but what is the actual difference between having a long term monogamous relationship vs. being married?

    Is the sacrifice of being married too much?
     
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