Black Relationships : A sista Says

[river]

"I don't need a man."

Our easy answer is that white feminists led her to this race destroying conclusion. But what is this a conclusion to? A conclusion comes at the end of something, after all is said and done and all has been taken into consideration. Hopefully, we are not there yet. But where are we? Let's look at the history and environment in which these five little words developed.

A sista said I want to be free to. How can you fight the oppression of the white man and continue to oppress me?

A brotha said I am fighting for the race. I will think about your freedom later. I promise.

A sista said it hurts to love him. It hurts to need him so much. It is good for the race that I acknowledge my need for him, but how can something be good for the race yet not be good for me?

Nothing the white feminists said would have taken such an effect if we had been fighting together.

White man says I'm not a racist

Black man says I'm not a sexist. But he slaps high five with the playas in the locker room when they brag about their latest escapade. Slapping high five with the ones who pee in the pool they have to fish in.

A sista says I have horror stories to tell

A brotha says I have horror stories to tell

We are in a downward spiral--a recursive cycle and we don't know who did what to who first. We just know we can psyche ourselves into thinking we can alieviate our pan by inflicting pain.

How does a brotha continue seeing Black women as queens when he sees a sista in People's drugstore cussing some brotha out on her cell phone in a shrill voice that the entire store can hear?

How does a sista continue to see Black men as kings when the one she thinks is "her man" makes 20 promises and keeps 5 of them just so she can't say he never keeps his promises? She looks at the sista in the drugstore and say I feel you, sista. That could be me.

We need each other. Not as romance objects or sex objects, but as the fullness of the ankh embodying the male and female principles in synergy. Until we master this our unity will be nothing more than painful co-dependence.

 

[jamesfrmphilly]

loving each other is the radical thing to do

black people have a hard time treating each other good. there are specific reasons for this: post traumatic slavery syndrome.

 

[A007]

Love has no color

I agree that loving one another is hard to do. But, this is ONE of the few things that are NOT related to post traumatic slavery syndrome. If it were simply a matter of our white masters playing us against each other, then black people in other parts of the world would do a better job of loving each other. Since we see them killing each other at alarming rates, then we can not assign the slave trade this particular blame.

Loving another person (or not loving them in this case) is behavior that is taught. There are different schools of thought around the world as to WHY one should love another. These differences are shaken and stirred here in this "melting pot" of america. The problem is simply this...no one is smart enough to figure out that loving each and subsequently being completely unselfish is the ONLY way out of this mess. We are too busy saying every man/family for him/theirself and me against the world. Once we realize that love means giving and giving means we all prosper, we will see that love has no color, race, creed, religion, time, cost, or end. It is the best for all concerned. But, we aren't taught how to love. So, we keep chasing our tails.

 

[jamesfrmphilly]

I agree that loving one another is hard to do. But, this is ONE of the few things that are NOT related to post traumatic slavery syndrome. If it were simply a matter of our white masters playing us against each other, then black people in other parts of the world would do a better job of loving each other. Since we see them killing each other at alarming rates, then we can not assign the slave trade this particular blame.

white supremacy is global. there are no black people who are not affected.

 

[Desert Storm]

if a sister says...

if a sister says...

that she doesn't need a man, she is only lieing to her self or any other woman for that matter.

sisters are lot more free than you think. I took an Anthropology of Africa class and the way that womens roles and mens roles were in African tribes, you would not see the white women having a priveledge of doing.

I think that we take a lot for granted and blame others instead of taking the responsibility for ourselves.

every brotha ain't ya friend and every sistah ain't ya friend either. you live and you learn.

Desert Storm