Black Relationships : A Person Changing Me Being Single

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by legit-writer, Jan 23, 2012.

  1. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If I tell a guy that it will take an awesome person to change me being single, is that considered as having my guard up and for those who do not think that it is, what do you think about a person saying that I have my guard up for saying such?
     
  2. noor100

    noor100 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It is wise to have one's guard up in this day and time.
    But don't say never.
    If it happens..it happens and don't worry about it..This is a good attitude to have.
    [Too many [especially women] are desparate to be married and rush into disasters].
     
  3. Nakeone

    Nakeone Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I've heard sistahs say stuff like that. I don't think your guards are up. But i would change that word " Awesome". When i think of a female i would like to be with, i use more realistic words like: genuine, easy going, intelligent, and cute, etc, but i would not burden someone with the word awesome because it's a strong word. It sounds super hero-like.
    And when you say to "change u from being single" it sounds like you think they really interested in changing you from the single life. lol! I don't think they really care. :1on1:
     
  4. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    hmm okay never thought it was a strong word, although the qualities that you have named are awesome to me. but i will take what you said under consideration.
     
  5. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    I agree with Nakeone ... it sounds loaded ... like you're putting a lot of responsibility on the new person, even before you meet them.

    1. They have to be awesome.
    2. They have to change you from being single.
    3. You're pretty adamant about these things, given them much thought, enough to mention them out loud.

    And the person just wants to be your friend in the beginning, not captain ... well ... not necessarily a prince in shining armour.

    Though he may grow to be that ... as you get to know each other ... giving his awesomeness time to manifest.

    iono ... seems like a lot to me ... i'd say relax about it a little ... if he's the one, you'll know it, without voicing these concerns.

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  6. baller

    baller Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    it sounds as if you're not interested in marriage. if that's the case, say that. people don't get married because someone "made" them want to, that should be something they mutually consented to--they both desired. so, be careful how you present this. i'm a firm believer that, the way you start a relationship is the way the relationship will flow. if you go into it saying that you're not interested in marriage...or the man have to be AWESOME before you would ever consider it...he may accept that you all are a couple that will never marry. after five to ten years, you're wondering why he's never asked you to marry him. he says, i'm not interested in marriage...and you told me that you weren't either. that's why i stayed with you this long. why would i ask you to marry me? by then, you're in love...and he is that awesome man you want to marry. but that's not how you started the relationship...which could be deceptive.

    so, go into the relationship with an open mind. if he's good enough to spread your legs for, he should be good enough to spend the rest of your life with. if not, maybe, you shouldn't be with him, anyway.

    that's my take.
     
  7. info-moetry

    info-moetry STAFF STAFF

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    peace

    It doesn't sound like you have your guard up, but it could run off the right guy for the wrong reason. He may feel like he's gonna have to always be on his guard or you might give him a good grade or something. Also, he may feel it's going to be a one-sided journey with you since he has to be 'awesome' and you haven't stated to him what you will be bringing to the table. ;)

    I had a female friend who would actually rate me by the day and it got to be really annoying...lol

    We started out as just friends, then it got a much deeper TO HER and without her having THAT CONVO with me, in her mind i was her man. She would call and if i didn't pick up she would text me saying that i was 95%. Then, if i didn't call her back until the next day she'd say i was at 80% like we were in grade school or sumptin'. If i didn't call her at night when i got home she would drop me down to 60% even though i had just left her. So i finally got so annoyed that i text her one day and said that i was @ 0% and she responded and asked me what i meant.......

    :lol:
     
  8. noor100

    noor100 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    BINGO
     
  9. Nakeone

    Nakeone Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    We live and we learn. ;)
     
  10. Nakeone

    Nakeone Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well stated. I used to have demands too but now i just focus on what i'm going to provide her.
     
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