Black Poetry : A Mother’s Plight (A Letter to Momma)

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Danilyn, Jan 31, 2002.

  1. Danilyn

    Danilyn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I vaguely recall my days of pigtails and brightly colored ribbons
    those days when life seemed rosy even without rose colored glasses
    The times when my responsibilities were to study and just obey the house rules
    I didn’t have to provide because I was provided for
    and my biggest dramas were centered
    in whatever gossip had been started about me
    or if I had a pimple in a not so concealed location…

    Yes, those were the days when life was easy
    and I foolishly made them harder than they had to be
    Fussin about 12:00 curfews and why boys weren’t allowed in my room
    and why I couldn’t go to the party cause my momma didn’t know them
    even when I told her such and such was going
    and she would say she wasn’t such and such’s momma…

    I remember the days when I’d watch her (my momma, that is)
    busy as she could be, wouldn’t even sit down to watch TV with me
    Momma, please SIT DOWN, I would beg
    I didn’t understand then why she had to wash our clothes
    every day, or why she couldn’t go to bed without washing
    those few dishes in the sink that could have waited til the next day…

    I often think about the times I sassed her,
    gave her lip cause I didn’t want to do something she had asked
    like pick up the clothes in my room or scrub out the tub in my bathroom
    I mean, I thought I deserved all the designer clothes she bought
    being that I was a straight A student, hardly ever got into trouble
    never had an office referral or anything like that.
    In my eyes, I was the perfect child who couldn’t wait to grow up…

    I didn’t realize then how rotten I was
    Until I became a mother myself
    and I find myself wishing for those rosy days again
    those days when all I had to do was study and obey the house rules
    I wish for those dishes piled up in my sink to magically disappear
    cause I have no problem just SITTING DOWN

    Wishing that my son was a little more grateful for his things
    Wishing he was satisfied with the things that I literally break myself for
    Wishing he’d take better care of those expensive toys and designer clothes
    that get broken 2 minutes out of the box or stained with the spaghetti from lunch
    Wishing he’d understand that when he’s on the red light at school, he can’t play computer


    Wishing I had understood my mom and what I put her through…

    I am no longer a little girl with pigtails
    I am a woman, with a very important job
    a job that makes me question daily whether or not I’m qualified for the position
    because I feel like I’m failing at it
    and then I wonder whether my momma ever felt like this, ever felt like giving it all up
    and I’m sure she had to, those times when I gave her lip and never appreciated her
    the times when I didn’t earn my keep
    but she kept on pressing and loving me, even in my unlovable times…

    It’s an effort now to view life as rosy
    In fact, I have to wear the colored lenses to see the good in life
    because the bad has really been hitting me over the head
    And I think back to momma
    I don’t remember ever seeing her sad, or depressed, or even lonely
    at least I didn’t until I recognized all those things in myself
    but I’m nowhere near as discreet as momma used to be
    I wear my pain on my sleeve, so visible for all the world
    I’ve never dealt with adversity well and the tell-tale signs are so apparent on my face
    that sometimes I feel it disqualifies me from the good mother, strong black woman category

    Momma, where did your tears go when you had to cry?
    Because I’ve never once seen you do it.
    Even when cancer invaded your body, I never once saw you break down.
    When did you take time for yourself?
    because all your free time it seemed was spent
    carrying me back and forth from the million things I was involved in
    Where did your strength come from?
    Does strength skip generations?
    because I certainly feel weak.
    Housework is overwhelming, bills are demanding, money ain’t coming,
    child-rearing is exhausting…

    Momma, how did you do it?

    Sometimes I wish I was that little girl again
    not because life was easier then,
    I just want to pay more attention to the things I had missed –
    I would have a pad and pen in hand, maybe even a camcorder
    so I could watch you, take notes from you, learn to be more like you
    and then maybe, I would know where your strength comes from
    and once I find that place, maybe there will still be some in there

    just for me.
     
  2. dnommo

    dnommo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    NOTE TO SELF: CALL MY MOMMA AND APOLOGIZE FOR SPRAY PAINTING HER WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID...

    D, this piece is heart felt and the true depth of your poetic gifiting is coming to form. You have tapped into the well of emotions that only true poets can grasp. You have painted this well and i look forward to reading more...

    now if you'll excuse me i need to call my momma

    :cry: MOMMA!!! MOMMA I'S MISS YOU... :cry:
     
  3. GA_Sunshyne

    GA_Sunshyne Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Dani.


    ...it's official... we are sisters 'cause we sho' had the
    same momma!! :) well... at least you described the
    strength & caring of mine... perfect-ly. thank you for
    this peace... it was extreme-ly moving & wonderful-ly
    written.

    (imma take a que from D... & go call my mama)

    :heart:
    SunShyne~
     
  4. j'hiah

    j'hiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    this was heartfelt big tyme.
    wow.

    *going to get one of my mama biscuits*
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    o' yes

    dis piece so warm and very touching
    of a hand da poet pose wit heart
    lovin dis one.......yes indeed:heart: :D
     
  6. Danilyn

    Danilyn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Dnommo~

    You are such a faithful supporter!!!!
    Thanks for feelin me and the constant love u show my work.
    It means more to me than u know...
    See ya in da meadow ;)
     
  7. Danilyn

    Danilyn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    SunShyne~

    I'm glad u felt this...
    I hope most people have a momma like ours
    or at least I hope they have learned to really appreciate
    all that mommas truly are!
    I appreciate your :heart: big sis!
     
  8. Danilyn

    Danilyn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    J'hiah~

    U think u could bring me one of dem biscuits?
    One thing my momma didn't do was cook!!!
    my daddy handled that.
    Thanx for peepin me. Glad u dropped in on a sista!:)
     
  9. Danilyn

    Danilyn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Rich~

    U know how I feel about ya!
    Thanx for your :heart: !
    U are truly one of a kind!
     
  10. mizdee2002

    mizdee2002 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    my sister....

    thank God for momma's is all i can say...that includes you luv!


    dee:heart:
     
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