Black Relationships : A Man's Twisted Mind Games

[Monetary]

Ok, I'll chime in here one mo' 'gain.

No one will learn from their behavior towards or treatment of someone else if the person being treated inappropriately doesn't say something about it to the person who's doing the inappropriate treatment. In other words, he won't learn anything unless she says something to him about it. And, who's to say that he'll change after she's spoken with him about his behavior?

Jackeys, to prevent him from using the "you should have said something" excuse to make you feel bad and give him another chance, sit down with him and express how your feelings about the way he's treated you. That way, you've given him all the chances he needs to make amends.

With the 15 minutes issue, Cursed Heart could be right on that one. He had to make sure plans with someone else was straight before he could meet with you. Maybe it's not clear in his mind or between the both of you whether you're dating exclusively or not. You may want to ask about that as well. Or, he could be setting up a surprise for you in the future and had to meet someone at that time. Who knows?

Peace

 

[Jackeys]

I appreciate all the feedback and I think everyone is right in their way on what should be done about the situation.

As far as him making me waiting 15 minutes, and I don't want to sound naive here, I'm 30 years old and I've seen it done before, but I've known this guy for seven months. If he even thought he had plans with another chick he wouldn't have called me back at all. Him making me waiting the 15 minutes was part of him punishing me for leaving the voicemail message. When he called me he didn't even know I had left the message and he was ready for us to hook up until I said something about did he get the message then he told me he'd listen to it and call me back and that's when the game began. He just wanted me to feel guilty for leaving the message, like I insulted him or something, because he kept saying that you shouldn't have left it. He did the 15 minute thing just to see if I would except it.

This is what I'm talking about as far as the games he plays. He may be seeing other women but the mind games don't reflect his dealings with them in our situation. I feel what all of you saying and am taking it all into action.

 

[cursed heart]

I appreciate all the feedback and I think everyone is right in their way on what should be done about the situation.

As far as him making me waiting 15 minutes, and I don't want to sound naive here, I'm 30 years old and I've seen it done before, but I've known this guy for seven months. If he even thought he had plans with another chick he wouldn't have called me back at all. Him making me waiting the 15 minutes was part of him punishing me for leaving the voicemail message. When he called me he didn't even know I had left the message and he was ready for us to hook up until I said something about did he get the message then he told me he'd listen to it and call me back and that's when the game began. He just wanted me to feel guilty for leaving the message, like I insulted him or something, because he kept saying that you shouldn't have left it. He did the 15 minute thing just to see if I would except it.

This is what I'm talking about as far as the games he plays. He may be seeing other women but the mind games don't reflect his dealings with them in our situation. I feel what all of you saying and am taking it all into action.

Girl that's why all I do is dress and rest.
I have too much going on in my life to deal with that.
It's still very aggravating for you.
I am 30 as well.
You are 30, not ten so chastizing you for a message is juvenile and controlling.
Grown people talk it out not punish.
The very same way you left a message,
he could have called you back and things could have been discussed.
Just be mindful about the situation and do what's best for you.
Like you said you know him.

 

[Monetary]

I appreciate all the feedback and I think everyone is right in their way on what should be done about the situation.

As far as him making me waiting 15 minutes, and I don't want to sound naive here, I'm 30 years old and I've seen it done before, but I've known this guy for seven months. If he even thought he had plans with another chick he wouldn't have called me back at all. Him making me waiting the 15 minutes was part of him punishing me for leaving the voicemail message. When he called me he didn't even know I had left the message and he was ready for us to hook up until I said something about did he get the message then he told me he'd listen to it and call me back and that's when the game began. He just wanted me to feel guilty for leaving the message, like I insulted him or something, because he kept saying that you shouldn't have left it. He did the 15 minute thing just to see if I would except it.

This is what I'm talking about as far as the games he plays. He may be seeing other women but the mind games don't reflect his dealings with them in our situation. I feel what all of you saying and am taking it all into action.

I have a couple of questions.

1. Does he have a woman or is he married?

2. Do you accept him punishing you instead of talking things out with you?

It seems to me that you take him whenever/however you can as if he's with someone already OR if he's the take it how I give it or keep it moving type of Brotha. However this "relationshp" is with you two, it seems that your feelings are getting deeper and you're starting to make excuses for his actions.

Trust me, 15 minutes today, 2 days tomorrow. And you had better not say a word. smh

 

[Jackeys]

He's not married and he's not in a committed relationship with anyone, as in (no he doesn't have a girlfriend). I am suspicisous about him possibly having casual sexual relationships with other women, though. Actually, I'm learning from the situation and I'm thinking or possibly in the process of taking the advice of leaving without him even knowing that I'm gone.

His calls will go unanswered and unreturned, and I won't be calling him. I've done it to guys before and it takes strength and courage when you still feel deeply for them. He will learn his lesson eventually after someone slashes his tires or something but I'm not here to be his teacher. If someone else wants that job, they can have it. I have for too long let him allow me to take the blame for simply being me and reacting to his nonsense. I am done.

Signed,

No more drama...