Brother Cedric, nicely put! Brother Kente, also, nicely put! The woman a man loves should BE his friend - his very BEST Friend, someone he can converse with about anything under the sun, without feeling that air of impatience women oft emit with subjects of which they are unfamiliar...or when a brother becomes boring, because he isn't following the time-honored script of "you so fine, blah, blah, blah, blah..."(smile!)
Ladies, I think that's definitely part of the riddle you've failed to solve, because you've failed to ask the right questions... Unfortunately for you, that seems to be a job you've allowed us men to monopolize because it is so "easy" for you to sit, back and be interviewed and complimented like the stars that you are(smile!) We know after all of these centuries of polishing our games, that you love to be complimented, and told how very wonderful you are, so we do what we have to do to negotiate our way into your lives, and, in the process, we learn just enough about you to determine that all we want is between your legs, and thank you, maim(smile!) You Believe in your heart of hearts that we are so extremely interested in you, because we have learned to camouflage our real motives behind the game of negotiating for what we want...
It would seem to me that ladies would've learned, en masse, by now, to utilize the very same tactics with men, but y'all are just too busy trying to make men into what you want them to be, rather than accepting us for whom we are... That is because ladies really don't know whom we are... You never really ask us who we are... Calling a brother a dog aint gonna make him heel, and make your wishes his commands(smile!) It only makes him resentful, and reinforced in his misogyny...
In my case, it has always been those sisters who took the time to determine who I was, what I liked and disliked, what made me feel good and worthwhile as a person, whom I've most been impressed with... it seems those women had learned their lessons well... They showed an interest in me as a whole person, and matched me compliment for compliment, good deed for good deed, until I felt totally at ease with being honest with them... I felt I owed it to them to be honest with them, because they had given me so much of themselves... I respected the fact that these sistas had taken the time to look into inside, rather than outside, for answers to the riddle that is man...
Ladies, it really aint all that hard... Men are human beings just like women... The things that make us tick as human beings are universal... The very same deep interest a man shows a woman, is the very same interest he wants a woman to show him... All of the wonderful and creative compliments men create to win your attentions, are the very same compliments that will put him on cloud nine, too - trust!(smile!) As long as women relinquish that responsibility to men, I'm tellin' ya, y'all will always be at our mercy...
Since the toxic game of brow-beating brothers with name-calling only seems to reinforce the things we do by becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy, it would not hurt to throw a curve into the game, and do something different, besides asking the same old tired questions we haven't answered yet, and have no intentions of answering(smile!) Do something different, and "RAPTURE" a brother for once in ya life... See how "easy" it is to do the things we do, while keeping your rapt interest... Gone now, just try it(smile!) Lemme know how it turns out fuh ya(smile!)
Peace!
Isaiah