Black Poetry : A letter to Shannon

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Rico, Jul 21, 2003.

  1. Rico

    Rico Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Shannon,
    I know writting this to you is in vain. But I need to let it out. I am not expecting a reply. Lo and behold you act like you have some feelings. I have not been myself lately. Actually I don't even feel me anymore. Ever since friday and I got those pictures. I feel like I am loosing it slowly and I am trying to hold on with everything in me. I don't write much anymore. All because I can not find it in me. I can not even find the words to write how I trully feel. Sometimes I don't even come online anymore because I do not feel like talking at all. I come home to these walls every evening and like a movie screen. My life with you plays on them. I see the way we were and I cry and I hate you but yet I still love you. I see those pictures in my email come up and I feel your lies of love burning me like a tribal tatoo. I feel the trust that I had for you and the love. But then the pain comes to me. The memories of me confronting you and the silence that told me it was true.
    It overwhelms me so much that it brings me to my knees. All I can think of is how you just turned your feelings off like you would turn off some running water. In a instant my life changed. Left me standing here alone and I do not know how to get it back.
    I look at me outside of myself and I see some one who's heart is truly broken by someone who knew so much about me and who I dearly loved. You did to me what you knew I was most afraid. You closed the coffin on my feelings. You put the last stone in the wall around my heart. Like you are a masonary. You did it so perfect and walked away. As my emotions went crazy flowing like Niagra falls. And I just went over the edge and you stood back and watched me crash. Not even trying to save me. I hate you because I can not sleep. I hate you because I still love you and think of you. The feelings are still so real. I can reach out and touch them at any moment.
    I go through each day fighting my feelings. Going to work putting my face on like a clown in a circus. But when I am alone and I hear the echos in this house is when I can no longer fight them and they come. Laughing and taunting me. Making fun of how I feel. Punching me like they are some school yard bully. Until I give into the pain and the tears start forming in my eyes. When I am alone and sleep has left me after what seems like it has finally come. When in reality I have only been under for a half an hour. I get up and look at the clock. Another sleepless night. The tv glares at me with couples living there lives so happily. Flashing shadows on the walls as my life movie begins to roll again. And my feelings are lurking in the back ground waiting for their curtain call with the school yard bully ready to taunt and puch me again. The tears are forming now so I must let you go.......
     
  2. Rico

    Rico Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    :( To the people on this page that write and read my poetry. I am sorry I have not replied to your stuff. I have read it but just do not feel like replying at all. Lately I haven't really been feeling like doing anything. One day I will be back though and you will see my name in your replies. Thanks for the love and kindness you have shown me.
    Much Love
    Rico
     
  3. MORE

    MORE Banned MEMBER

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    RICO, i am so saddened by your heartbreak, truly this will pass away, but their is no remedy but to pray and let the pain run it's course, u will wake up one morning and this will all be a memory without the pain. take your time and heal, we will be here when you return......:love: :love: :love: :love: :love:
     
  4. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    Like More said,"this will pass away." I've been there and understand the pain you feel. Take your time and heal. your words are felt strongly. PEACE brotha!
     
  5. Bluewater

    Bluewater Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    much love to you Rico
    we are family, feeing your hurt
    my bruther
    Peace
     
  6. SwtT

    SwtT Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Aww Rico, Im sorry for the pain she's still causing you. But in time, it will get better :grouphug:
     
  7. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    my brutha forth da pain of such will be no more
    hold faith and keep lovin the stars sho sign of new love
    abound unto ya heart
    tyte emotional flow
     
  8. Alizentang

    Alizentang Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You already know what i have to say to this. Keep your head up, and when you can't you know you can always lean my way. :grouphug:
     
  9. triniti424

    triniti424 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ohhhhhhh....Rico :( I know what u goin through...smile baby...things will get better I promise :)
     
  10. Rico

    Rico Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    triniti424

    thanks for thinking of me...slowly they are.
     
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