Admit Nothing, Deny All Here’s a note to all men. Admit nothing and deny everything. Again, never admit anything and always deny everything. Always! If you are caught in the act—deny it. Say it wasn’t you and stick to it. If the DNA matches—deny it and say, “remember O.J.” If it is twenty years later—deny it. Deny it was you. Have an Alibi Always have an alibi even when you don’t need one. If you don't have one, get one. Seeds of Doubt Plant the seeds of doubt early—just in case. Tell her how you were walking down the street and thought you were looking in a mirror when “a man who looked just like me drove past in the same kind of car I drive.” Be sure to casually mention this on well-spaced occasions. It may come in handy later for denial. “That wasn’t me in bed with that woman.” Remember, deny. “You must have seen someone who looked like me.” No more is necessary because the seed was already planted. Don’t tell and always deny. Tie this together with a strong alibi and you can confuse the sharpest mind with the element of doubt. Yo Business Keep your business to yourself. There is no need to brag or discuss your business with your friends. It puts them in an awkward position and it also puts them in a position to cause mucho trouble. Don’t give them the power. Don’t tell. If they don’t know they can’t tell. Your buddies will do you in by accident or sometimes on purpose—the backstabbers. Don’t tell. If they guess, deny it because she will eventually ask one of them and if they don’t know, they can’t tell. Take it to the grave. Married Playas If you are married you shouldn't be playing these games, but if you are the same rules apply—keep your mouth shut. Admit nothing and deny everything. It’s cheaper. When the private eye shows the pictures at the divorce hearing—deny it. Say the pictures are fake like in the National Inquirer. Talk about body doubles, but deny it. If they bring the woman into court, act like you need glasses because you’ve never seen that woman before in your life. Lie in court? Please! Deny. Never admit. After the judge gives her everything you own, all your money and even your dreams—deny. When she sees you years later and asks—you know the drill. Never Tell Never, never, never tell. When the urge to tell the truth comes over you, remember this advice—admit nothing and deny everything. Carry the burden alone, but never tell. If you feel you must tell someone—tell a priest, a rabbi, a doctor or your psychiatrist. Tell a stranger, but never tell a friend. Don’t put a burden on them. Don’t force them into making a decision. Deny. Lies and Damned Lies If you must lie, and you must, tell a big lie. Tell a lie that even you wouldn’t believe. The more outrageous the better. Make her think “he must be telling the truth because no one would be stupid enough to make up a lie like that.” Lie early and often just to get comfortable with it and deny you ever said it. Don’t even admit that you might have said something like it. Deny. Finally Don’t be surprised if someone of the opposite sex has read this article and does the same to you.