Black Relationships : A 'Good Man'.....~BROTHERS ONLY~

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by spicybrown, Apr 5, 2006.

  1. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    :hearts4: Brothers:

    In light of the discussions we've held here at Destee's lately, I feel the need to touch bases with you all for a moment. Many Sisters, including myself, often take it upon themselves to define what a 'good man' is (our womanly right). Some men acknowledge themselves as the epitome of goodness in a man. Some even look at other male figures they interact with daily, and base their opinions on that. What I would like to know is; what are the attributes of a 'good man', in your opinion, that would get a woman's stamp of approval? Do you feel you fit that mold, are you striving to? Hopefully, this discussion will help seal the can 'o' worms let loose recently, and, quell some of the tension....whew. Let's discuss! :geek:


    The following link is the same question posed to the Sisters, in regards to themselves.
    http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=41257
     
  2. Coach707

    Coach707 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A man that not only could admit that he makes mistakes, but thrives to learn and become better through those experiences. A father to the children. A LEADER, meaning HE is the burden bearer, the majority provider, and the go to guy when making decisions. Compassionate to all people yet fearless enough to stand up for what he believes in, and man who is working to become a better listener and communicator. (if not up to par)
     
  3. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A man who knows his weakness, limits, and abilities.
     
  4. IfUComeSoftly

    IfUComeSoftly Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    since a sista started a brotha's only thread... i'ma jump my black behind up in here.... a good/bad man is all relative to who is doing the judging.. there are a few universal traits however... there are far more differences of opinion then there are uniform ideals... anyhoo... any person can be bad... th vast majority of folk are different to different people... one person may bring out the best in you b/c you like such and such that much... then everyone has dogged someone on some level... so... good/bad... like i said before... is all relative to who is doing the judging...
     
  5. MississippiRed

    MississippiRed Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If you mean a good man concerning the care of my kids then yes no doubt I am a Good man, a Good Daddy .......

    Now if you're talking concerning women then it's completely subjective........to myself I say no I'm not a good man in any way shape or form and don't want to be........but some women will say I am...simply because I was honest about who I am and what I want and don't want......however other women don't see it that way simply because of what I want and don't want......i.e. long term relationship with one woman......hell dating 1 woman is way to much for me.......I like to play and enjoy having a lot of playmates.........so as said above it's really subjective and depends on who you ask......



    Red
     
  6. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Me, SpicyBrown, I am a good man...and a badman, too, when I need to be(smile!)

    Beyond that, I've never thought about ALL of the attributes a man would be required to have in order to be up for that kind of consideration... Being that I am a very quirky iconoclastic person, who does not believe in that kind of dichotomization of personality, I cannot get witht concept of "good man"/"bad man...." I tend to think we gots a bit of both in us, and it exposes itself as situations dictate...


    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  7. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

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    I'm beginning to learn, that it matters not what a "good man" is, especially in a woman's eyes.

    Thus, my answer to this question, would be EXODUS 3:14 from the Bible.

    PEACE
     
  8. Alkebulan

    Alkebulan Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    how can u com up w ?'s this tough @ 5:00 AM? lol, anyhoo, good ?

    i can only answer part of ur ?: "what are the attributes of a 'good man', in your opinion, that would get a woman's stamp of approval?", b/c i don't think that there is any 1 definition that would satisfy all women & i ain't tryin 2 speak 4 any of em.

    a good black man is:

    honest & upright n his dealings w every1, but esp his s/o

    working toward attainment of goals that will b of benefit 2 the entire household & every1 n it to the best of his ability

    endeavoring to bring himself & his family ever closer to afrocentric principles (maat) and further away from the euroisolationist mentality so pervasive n this country

    setting an example by his behavior, speech, conduct, & spirit 1st, 4 his immediate family, & then, 4 the community at large (i.e. doesn't curse @ the drop of a hat, no public (or private) intoxication, etc)

    seeing 2 the physical needs of himself, his s/o, & family by monitoring food intake, regular exercise, at least annual physicals, along w discussions which xplain the rationale behind these steps w the family

    looking 4 opportunities 4 growth - financially, emotionally, spiritually, & intellectually - provided these opportunities do not involve the mis-use or abuse of other black people, & he takes those he luvs w him on this journey

    making advance preparation so that his family will continue 2b provided 4, even n his absence, should his unforseen demise occur. the family will already b devastated w/o hving 2 panic about $$

    open to constructive criticisms from other black ppl, whether he likes them or what they're saying or not, but is esp sensitive to this from his s/o. he supresses his initial impulse to simply "deny everything" & actually listens & ponders the validity of whats being said.

    aware that he is not right all the time, or even most of the time.

    particularly courteous & respectful to his black elders, male & female, n spite of the fact that almost no 1 places any value on their company

    taking responsibility 4 his actions, especially when it comes to sired offspring

    involved n at least 1 thing that can never benefit him directly, ever, but which he believes is beneficial 2 black ppl somewhere, sometime

    less concerned w impressing his neighbors than his banker

    constantly searching 4 ways 2 reduce his dependency on our enemy, the yt man b/c he knows, what the yt man "giveth" the yt man can, & will, take away, & he (yt man) always takes mor than he gives

    holding a minimum of 12 months living xpenses n a secure place as a "rainy day fund" n case his household is hit by its' own hurricaine katrina @ the wrong time. is there ever a right time?

    continually reminding his s/o of the limited benefits of striving to accrue more & more material possessions, & the ways such strivings enslave & confuse us

    renewing & rejuvinating his good black sister(s), whether or not they r a source of gratification 4 him, b/c this is 1 of the ways of showing leadership & maturity

    attempting 2b non judgemental of those who hv not done as well as they could, nor as well as they should b/c he know's he hasn't either


    a good black man, along w his good black woman will strive 2 overcome the crass demands of flesh & bone 4 they warp the matrix thru which we perceive the world. they will xtend their awareness outward beyond the self of body 2 embrace the self of group & the self of humanity. the goals of the group & the greater race r trancendant & 2 embrace them is to achieve enlightenment.

    this is just 1 black man's opinion. what's urs?

    Spicy, again, 5 AM??? lol
     
  9. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    it's really very simple......

    just look at my avatar.
    that is what a good man looks like.
     
  10. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I feel i am, i know i can, and willing to be what we call a good man

    I can only answer for myself ......................................................

    A good man is a man who willing to strive for his family morals with
    intent of good love to his home and all within , knowing how to treat
    such as woman with respect , honor and loyality .

    This good man aknowledge facts to listen intently to her needs
    and share common goals for growth as well togetherness, he's not
    afraid to step to the many obstacles oppose upon him and always
    trying spiriturally , mentally and physically to secure his home front
    the well beings of his family or mate / children .

    A good man knows how to enjoy fruitfully and when to flex into business
    mold, it's also known that pleasing a woman is one of the hardest task
    there are many good men but there is no Mr. Right for every man stumbles
    but it's that strong blk woman that help lift him up again .

    What one woman see as enough to say he's a good man the next will not
    every woman know what they want in a man that they are willing to share
    themselves will in a relationship / marriage , a good man is define as Mr.Goodness
    cheerful in his disposition , known for excellence virtue, as a provider and not
    judgemental and have good dependency as a man, not afraid to show his emotions
    yet as strong in his stance


    I sum it up as followed
    1. Respect
    2. Willingly
    3. Honor
    4. Loyality & Truthful
    5. Understanding
    6. Love
    7. A Provider
    8. Good listener
    9. pose family values
    10. knowing himself

    And fear the creator of creation this JMO and mines alone of what women
    may see as a good man of a man of good will , i could be as wrong or way off
    but this the kind of man i am and what i bring with other small values not stated .

    Often women have judge one before ever saying one word eyes may speak
    but never tell the true story of the inner being of a man .......................................

    JMO.
     
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