Black People : A friend is making a BAD decision

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by MsInterpret, Jul 13, 2011.

  1. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I just got off the phone with my best friend. She's a free-spirited person, and she basically lives with no boundaries or limits to what she does. I met my BF after she came up here from LA when Katrina hit, since knowing her she has hitched hiked many places, been with questionable men that I have tried to prevent her from being with. One with whom I really didn't like, but yet she moved to GA to be with him, only to find herself locked up for him cheating on her abusing her, so she took a bat this his head and she got locked up.
    Anyways, today she said she was headed to Africa in October. At first I was excited for her, but then she said she was going alone. As the conversation went on, she said she had found a villa in this area and she was staying there for 21 days, and only paying $421 for the whole time. Next she said she was staying with people she had never met. I told her this didn't sound like a good idea, she said she had some reservations even about her reason behind going...To meet a man.
    She's meeting a man out there she met on a social networking site called Tagged. She has NEVER met this guy.
    I asked her are you documenting all of this, are you giving this information to your family so they know? She said yes and she has a folder of online convo and invoices.
    I have never felt so much doubt about something that I have a VERY VERY bad intuition about.
    I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say that will make her change her mind.
    I've given her advice in the past before, but she's the type to not listen, especially when it comes to a guy.
    She just got off probation and she says she had to go through a healing process, but now she's going to get on an airplane to Africa, alone, right after a healing process?
    I'm freaked out. I don't want her to get hurt.
    She's made bad choices in the past, but this is the worst by far.
    What do I do?
     
  2. Gorilla

    Gorilla Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Try to understand her point of view. Carefully express your concerns once, then let it go.
     
  3. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ummm....Would you understand how someone can go visit a person they never met in another Continent and only been talking to them for 3 months?
     
  4. Gorilla

    Gorilla Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Haha, that's why I said try. IMHO, I think the person is ultimately going to decide on what they want to do even after a friend tries to express their concerns or attempts to get them to change their mind.
     
  5. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    *sigh* Yeah I know, that's the sad part.
     
  6. Proverbs31Woman

    Proverbs31Woman Be kinder than necessary! MEMBER

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    As far as what you can do to change her mind, nothing. BUT..in light of the many crimes that are going on as well as the deceitful plots in action everday..I'd keep track of her and see if we can compromise to at least keep close touch with phone #s and address as well as her routine, so you know she's alright and should subtle things happen that raise concern..you'd be in the know to alert those appropriate so the radar is up and quick moves can be made rather than it being too late. It is quite understandable that you'd be concerned, your friend is vulnerable in another country and more so being a woman.

    Hope all goes well for her!
     
  7. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    What's so scary about it? She's not a 12 year old girl. And I know the word Africa evokes all kinds of dark and dead subconscious images.. But I bet you a grip and a half they don't eat her. Id be more worried about her walking through an American suburb.. And I wonder if the dude shes going to see knows about her probation and her psychotic episode with the bat. You might be worried about the wrong person. Where in Africa is she going?
     
  8. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It doesn't matter if it's Africa she could be going Japan for all I know...My issue isn't the place it's everything I said...

    I can't remember where she said...but she said it's a place where she wouldn't need a visa or something
     
  9. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Look, she might not be 12, but she isn't the brightest person in the world either....That's my issue.
    She does things without thinking...ALL THE TIME....And it never turns out right.
    I was hoping that her time in jail and her drunk driving would have at least straightened her out and gave her some sense, but it hasn't.
     
  10. Proverbs31Woman

    Proverbs31Woman Be kinder than necessary! MEMBER

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    Any woman wondering to another country, Africa or any other place overseas should be cautious...the fact is women are more vulnerable, and age has no bearing on that fact, in my opinion. Grown, educated women are turning up harmed and worse.

    There are a lot of sick people everywhere, not only Africans live in Africa...
     
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