Black People : A Cry for HELP...

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by Lady~Mahogany, Jul 28, 2010.

  1. Lady~Mahogany

    Lady~Mahogany Member MEMBER

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    A sista's in desperate need of a few words of encouragement at this moment. I'm pretty tore up right now. So, please bear with me, y'all. *Takes deep breath**Lately, I've been feeling really sad and depressed. I have a few issues that I've been secretly struggling with over the past few months and I'm, honestly, nearing the end of my rope. I don't usually take to the internet for advice. However, this is the only alternative I have next to talking with friends and family who would most likely just write me off as a pycho-drama queen. But, I just have to vent for a minute. All I need is a few seconds of your time and your brief/honest opinion...

    I've recently been battling with an issue that, I must admit, is very superficial in nature. However, I'm sure it's one that nearly EVERY woman has encountered at some point. In my case, it has been an ongoing thing since I was a child. There has never been a time in my life when I looked in the mirror and actually liked what I saw starring back at me. I've always felt that I was inadequate compared to all the other young ladies in both my family and social circle. I've always felt like the "ugly duckling" of the bunch. And since I've started college, I've noticed that these feelings of inadequacy have escalated. I attend a small HBCU down south and it seems as though every girl there is nearly perfect. They have the most amazing shapes, gorgeous complexions, and attractive personalities. All the guys seem to light up when they enter the room. Me, on the other hand, not so much. Even my mom looks 50 times better than me and she just turned 46 yesterday. I'm 21 years old and I've never had a boyfriend mainly because my confidence is so out of whack. Whenever I DO get a compliment from others, it's always hard for me to take them seriously because I never believe it.*This, coupled with other issues I have, has transformed me into a sad, depressed, self-hating, antisocial b*tch. I put on this happy-go-lucky persona for my family, but I'm actually screaming and crying on the inside. This has got to be one of the worst feelings in the world. Right now, I'm stuck and I don't know where to turn. I realize that I need some sort of help, but I'm afraid to tell anyone about these problems I've been having out of fear of being misunderstood. I'm literally fighting back tears at this very moment.*I hate to worry myself silly over something so trivial and I don't mean to come off as a basket case or an "internet troll" as I believe it is called. I'm just a young lady who is in need of a bit of guidance right now. Is there anyone out there who can relate to what I'm going through? Could you please drop me a few lines of advice? Thank You.

    Sincerely,
    Tiphanie a.k.a "Lady~Mahogany" *
     
  2. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    Tiphanie:

    Truly, I am at a loss at this moment on what to say to you. Even as I read your post, my heart went out to you and I asked God to put the right words in my mouth (or rather, fingers) to speak to you.

    But, I'm gonna have to pray (and sleep) on this one. Right now, I don't want to risk saying the wrong thing to you by being too hasty.

    This is not a light subject. You are in pain. And please know that I ache for you.

    So, before I speak otherwise, I just want you to know that I commend you for being so brave in sharing yourself like this with us. That takes a strength many do not have.

    Perhaps another Brother or Sister can help give you what you need right now.

    But, please know that I will pray on this and pray for you.


    ((((HUG)))))

    In the meantime, whatever your personal spiritual path is, please go to that source as a balm and release....whatever it is....prayer, chants, affirmations, etc..


    Until later, I will have you in my prayers.
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    First let me say welcome sister to Destee.com community of love /peace and respect


    Now with that said , sister never write yourself off !
    maybe you should take a deeper look in the mirror and you will see an image
    far more then what you saw before, lift your head up and know your inner beauty
    is a light to the outside , don't feel bad or rejected , this only because you allow
    self to believe this when others see you far more .
    Yes you need to work on your self-esteem level but there is no one out here better then you
    the only advice can be given is the advice you hold within yourself , release it
    from within and smile see the queen you are and was born to be , take that step
    out the box and challenge the world you will see then just how much you missed
    and how beautiful you are ......Look deeper and do express it to your mother/family
    if there is a real problem then the next advice is to seek professional help to deal with
    something far beyond what any of us can say or do.........

    Look up child there's a whole world out here waiting , you not a write off or something
    to by pass you are a young woman a heart and soul and beautiful know that and keep
    it close to ya .....Good luck sister and your name say it all or did you notice that ????

    Mahogany ....how nice of a name ! again welcome to the family my dear sister.
     
  4. gogounited

    gogounited Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Miss Beautiful Lady,

    That school you attend can never teach you one thing that is so essential, though it will give you a means to survive in this system, it will never reveal to you your true identity.

    Your professors, colleagues male and female, associates and aquaintances will not see you as a beautiful Queen that you are. They will recognize it only when you do.

    But how do you? How, when everything they judge you upon is based on a standard which defies true beauty and turns it into a machination of outward ornamentation. Coffins are also beautiful and ornamented gracefully from the outside, but are inside full of dead men's bones.

    And you are a Queen. That they do not recognize this speaks that you continue to judge your own self by their standards, which are not the standards of true beauty but a copy of the original, it is worthless. Only the original is of value. Do you know not that you are that Mother of all Creation? That strong African Queen who begat grace, beauty and all that is pleasing to the eye? Behold your own majesty, for all of civilization hails and comes from you. How then could they ever turn to that Mother and define what is beauty, much less place value on it?

    Hold fast and strong to YOU, my Queen. And if you're still learning about you, finding out about who She is, ask with all of this hurt in your soul for the truth of your Being. Ask with the lonliness that comes from too many hours in solitude criticizing yourself in the mirror. Ask that you be made known real beauty, that which YOU introduced to the world, defined by paramaters not limited to this or that size of a feature, this or that size of your body, this and that acceptable texture, that and the other fashionable trend. Queens never change, neither true beauty according to the new trends - they simply allow the trend to occur. They tolerate and grant permission, all the while knowing that it is the power of THEIR choosing.

    So do not compare yourself to others, but learn to exercise your nobility instead. YOU ARE every woman, and it's all in you.

    Peace and Love to You Lady Mahogony,

    No man can resist a Queen, She is the very embodiment of feminine power. Embrace this aspect of yourself, and you shall embrace the man of YOUR choice.


    Penny
     
  5. Lady~Mahogany

    Lady~Mahogany Member MEMBER

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    From Me 2 U...

    Thank y'all for the uplifting words I have received thus far. It's good to know that there are people out there who are willing to reach out and help me in my time of need even though we've never had the pleasure of meeting face to face. I want each of you to know that your words have really helped me put things into perspective. I know it will take time and patience, but if I keep my head up and stay prayed up, then hopefully I will see the light at the end of the tunnel.
     
  6. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    I'm still praying for you.

    But, I do hope you take to heart and mind and action what Rich and GogoUnited have shared with you thus far.
     
  7. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Yes take your dearest time , learn to love one self and feel it's passion of
    beauty which apply unto you , hold God closer through prayer that one guide you to understanding.
    Sure you will see in that mirror a young Goddess, do wear that name with the
    spirit of grace and upliftment , for you are one of the master's greatest Treasures
    upon earth , wo-man cascade in the lime of beauty to bare the rare fruits of
    life, this my dear make you phenomenal
    Go forth and instill within thee , that i am what i am and to be loved completely
    Talk it out / there are ears that will listen intently just as we have and
    sure sound advice will be given , but never treat self that you are any less
    for you sit up most high in thy eyez of thee , and keep in mind your beauty
    is skin deep and within ........Do bring it on out for the world too see

    Bless and Good luck , i do hope to hear how well things has change in your life
    someday soon .......seek what you need and use it to the fullest .:)
     
  8. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Sigh


    :fyi:


    Back in the day, when I was an aerobics and fitness instructor. I would always watch these supermodels walk in and tell me how fat and ugly they were. They all knew if that went down two sizes below a skeleton, they would then be perfect. I would then walk them over to the body builders. Who with very little prompting would salivate all over these females. After being creeped out a bit, they realized they were desierable and went on their merry way.

    Your problem seems a bit deeper. Your insecurity issues are self inflicted. In short, you built your own cage and threw away the key. That you may need a counselor for. But know this, it's not the individual part but the entire package. You may not be as pretty as Sue, have boobs as big as Jane, or have legs up to here like Sheila. But overall, you may have all of them beat. Moreover, it's not about them. They arent who you're competing with. Ultimately, it's all about you and your personality. Some very ugly females get all the guys because they actually have one. And that has little to do with exterior beauty. Supermodels dont always get asked to the prom because all the guys think she must already have a date.

    Get a personality and have confidence it IT. I guarantee the rest will take care of itself

    :toast:














    :em0200:

     
  9. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hotep, Peace and Black Power to you Sistar Princess Lady~Mahogany!

    First, I agree with SiS cherryblossom in commending and crediting your Courage to Share Self with others! :bowdown:

    My "advice":?:

    REMEMBER that "Feelings are NOT FACTS"!...."This too SHALL Pass"....and ANY Program of REcovery or Healing WORKS when you/We WORK IT....One Step at a Time

    sounds to me you are Becoming a Rose and just like any flower...growing pains are likely to be part of the process...towards the Final Event...
    In the meantime...I learned to...
    Get and Stay Safe

    Also...keep asking the questions as that is the "working" of the program

    M.E.
    :hearts2:
     
  10. Ankhur

    Ankhur Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Shyness is a condition, a mental trap when one feels unworthy, not for any real reason!!!!!

    even the so called fly girls have it and in fact you just may be one

    Try to think of it as the Matrix and the brothers that hit on you, with a line,
    as Morpheus

    Have fun relax

    Do positive self mantras
    THAT STUFF IS REAL

    As an adult your thoughts create your reality
    THAT IS THE KEY TO REAL GLAMOUR AND THE KEY TO REAL SUCCESS

    go out on dates , don't expect to fall in love the first time

    and take a look at an old Spike Lee movie called
    "Skool Daze" and you will see that in HBCUs and their "greeks"
    all that glitters is not gold!
     
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