I had been waking up days thankin' him Cause "Life" had been so good to me I don't remember when or why but all that changed The day God turned his back on me He turned his back and walked away Deaf to my cries and prayers A signal to "Life" giving him his full permission "yeah, throw her _ss back down the stairs!" And "Life" did just that. It was painful too As I began to hit "rock bottom" He said, Give me all of your wishes your hopes and your dreams and your bright ideas too, if you got'em! See, I have permission to make you lose your mind Crush and destroy all them thangs you desire! Gul, you don' messed up. God can't help you now I'm about to set your world on fire! God help me, I yelled. Jesus, save me I called I waited and got no response. Back in the day, he would've sent 4 or 5 angels to help me Here lately? He hasn't even sent ONE Slowly I manage to get up on my hand and my knees I wasn't about to let "Life" beat the ____out of me Rasing one knee. Strugglin' to stand on my feet But I stand! Gul I work especially hard to break down GOD's dark meat! Only 1 pair of footsteps in the sand by "Life's" stairs Not two, like that other poem say And for every 1 step I'd climbed thinking that God Would see me? "Life" had knocked me down 2 most days So I struggled with "Life" I mean we really go at it! I'm only seconds from biting the dirt Then I see God's face watchin me through the blinds Then he twists them close and that HURTS The door to the top of the stairs swing open And God makes his way down the steps "Life" takes a hint. Sucks his teeth, backs away And God tells him, "Thanks for your help!" So I stand there looking down, scared to look up I can tell he has something to say See, we be calling on him to bail us out of mess But none of us want to see his FACE He said, "Nia, you've asked me several times for strength to face your struggles with "Life" As soon as you got off your knees from praying the first time? I came through for you that very same night!" You been walking around here all this time And strength has OVERFLOWED your cup When you didn't have the sense to use the strength that I gave you? I GAVE "LIFE" PERMISSION TO BEAT YOU UP! Here's a list of each and every one of your prayers I'm aware of the thanks that you gave YOU BETTA NOT EVER LET ME HEAR YOU DOWN HERE WRITIN' POEMS AND STUFF TALKIN' BOUT ME TURNIN' MY BACK AND WALKING AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!