Black Poetry : A Broken Heart

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by sxe_poetress, Mar 1, 2003.

  1. sxe_poetress

    sxe_poetress New Member MEMBER

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    I'm new at this so your feedback is welcomed (good or bad)


    I sit and wonder behind closed doors

    Can I endure this life, can I endure much more!

    This feeling of anger like this world has me wrong

    No one to talk to, I'm always alone

    I think of my people dying and I get bad vibes

    With my head held low, I can't help but cry

    So much betrayal, suffering and pain

    A world in chaos in a terrorist name

    Explosions, plane crashes and germ warfare

    When will it stop! When will they care!

    Heart disease, cancer and the aids virus

    Are all the plagues god has placed upon us

    I sit and wonder, how long it will last

    The book of revelations, has it come to pass?

    Has god sent his angels to testify?

    Is it our time? Is it our time to die?

    Will the fourth angel pour his vial upon the sun?

    To scorch all men, will this world be undone?

    This feeling's taking over me as if it has it's own life

    Consuming me with fear, that cuts like a knife

    I try to shake it by trying not to think

    It keeps dragging me back first I float, then I sink

    Back in to this mood again behind closed doors

    I can't take the pain; I can take no more
     
  2. msluciousb

    msluciousb Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Nice entre`, Welcome!

    Loved the premise, and this is a place to learn and grow, we are not permitted to give critiques , only feed backs and replies. A very timely piece with some hiccups along the way...but Private message me if you want to chat about it, I am open to feedback on my poetry as well MsDestee , just prefers we do it in private. But you working with a solid foundation...So spread yo wings and scribe yo vibe, it's really no right or wrong, just always a better way to formulate, that comes with your own experience and intrepretation however, I would never propose to get that deep.
    Blessings ON Your House!:D
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    welcome within !

    beautiful vibe u scribe as i welcome u
    welcome to the playgrounds of Destee's place
    welcome and continue nice to read ya :D
    :jumping: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :jumping:
     
  4. Euphoria

    Euphoria Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Welcome to Destees.
    Your poem rings so true for so many.
    Especially the scared innocent people in the middle east.
     
  5. Sista Steele

    Sista Steele Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Welcome to the boards. I'm digging your flows.
     
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