January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Duh, bottles won't fit in typewriter. March - Got excited - finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months - box said "2-4 years " April - Trapped on escalator for hours Power went out. May - Tried to make Kool-Aid. 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets. June - Tried to go water skiing. Couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition. Learned later other swimmers cheated. They used their arms . August - Got locked out of car in rain storm. Car swamped because top was down. September - The capital of California is "C" isn't it? October - Hate M &M's They are so hard to peel. November - Roasted turkey for 4 1/2 days. Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108. December - Couldn't call 911. Duh, there's no "eleven" button on the phone. What a year!