Black Poetry : 5 Shots

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by lpoet, Dec 31, 2002.

  1. lpoet

    lpoet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i wrote this after reading something and the guy was talkin bout how these young black boys now a days would rather die than be looked down apon by their friends...............hope you enjoy




    Reminiscing

    It was a stick up
    i seen it comin at least 6 paces
    before he tried to order me to the floor
    i saw him reach for his piece and
    eventually hold the cold steel straight
    at my minds door
    What was he doing this for?
    This dude must not know
    who hes messin with
    i'm LP and aint NOBODY
    takein nothin especially not
    my Pride from me
    Death is in the air but
    i aint scared to breath
    sensing my chance is near
    I try to push his gun away
    while at the same time
    reaching quickly for my nine
    the shots rang out

    ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR-FIVE


    they say you never here
    the shot that kills you
    I guess thats how i knew i was
    still alive
    my body shoke violently random
    thoughts ran wild through my cluttred mind
    I didnt even know where i was hit
    was it my thigh
    my neck
    my spine
    slowly i tried to gather myself and
    open my heavy eyes the first thing i see
    in a window above me a child
    probably between 8 or 9
    whats messed up is in these parts
    this was probably not her
    first witnissing of homicide
    my insides were torn apart by her
    gapeing mouth and prying eyes
    i began to cry but the warm blood
    running down the sides of my face
    engullfed each tear
    the whole world began spinning
    why now my life was just begining
    no way at 20 it could be ending
    my entire mind now consumed
    with these thoughts
    but wait
    5 shots?
    if i remember correctly 6 bullets
    could be held in that gun
    is it possible that
    he'd shoot 5 and run or
    maybe he thought
    the young boy was done
    but i'm a soldier and my
    entire body grows a lil stronger
    thinkin bout the things i never
    got to tell my son
    *click**click*


    silence......
    waiting.......
    nothing........

    NOOOOO!

    the stories only begun

    to be continued............
     
  2. Bishop

    Bishop Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is an awesome piece!!!!!!! looking for the continuation!
     
  3. Kimdricka

    Kimdricka Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    ok poet, i like how you took us into the mind of your character. very well put together. now you got me in anticpation of the continuation of another bad creation. i hope you don't engage in the art of procrastination, cause well.....that would just be wrong!! ;) nice work!

    Kimdricka A.K.A. Kim
     
  4. msluciousb

    msluciousb Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Magnificent piece! I am mesmerized,more,more!

    This was a really tight piece, I was on the edge of my seat.
    I felt the intensity and the emotion and the imagery was just on point...you worked this...can't wait for the sequel!
    Now this is good reading...

    Blessings on Ya House!
     
  5. lpoet

    lpoet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanks all

    pt 2 comin soon
     
  6. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    hurry up with part 2 *****
     
  7. UbZoRbShUn

    UbZoRbShUn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    ok now lonely

    please lemme have the 2nd one!!!!!!!!!! Wonderful flow.



    One
     
  8. lpoet

    lpoet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Re: ok now lonely

    lol

    i'm comin i'm comin

    thanks
     
  9. lpoet

    lpoet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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  10. elayne.

    elayne. Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    lp.


    i know! i know! ...i've been a terrible #1 fan lately.
    ...but please don't charge it to the heart!!

    i can only agree with those that have spoken
    before me... this is a powerful & moving piece!!
    i will patiently await the continuation... oh &
    Happy New Year!! (it's gonna be spectacular! :D )

    alwayspeace,
    elayne.
     
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