Black Poetry : 3 Doors to Hilarious Horror, parts 1, 2, & 3

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by watzinaname, Oct 28, 2005.

  1. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2003
    Messages:
    16,340
    Likes Received:
    114
    Location:
    Northeast
    Ratings:
    +122
    This is one of the scariest Halloween
    tales I can tell
    It was a cross between Def Comedy
    Jam, and a day in [email protected]
    Recalling a Halloween from my past
    quite a spooky story to tell...

    I took an old white sheet, cut a pair
    of holes in it for eyes
    Dang, blasted scissors, them peeps
    weren't even close to being the same size
    But I took that c o c k eyed ghost suit
    and proudly put it on anyway
    I found an old pillowcase for candy
    and went out to start my holiday
    But what I didn't realize was that this nite
    would be more like Let's Make a Deal
    Except every door lead to a booby prize,
    it was a jacked up holiday for real
    As I approached the first house, the
    smell gave me quite a start
    It smelled like a cross between
    rotten eggs and a nasty wet fart
    The door opened before I could run, and
    a big green creature came out, oh no!!!
    He turned around, bent over, and had
    the nerve to let one go!!!
    I ran, gasping for air, as fast as my feet
    would take me
    I should have went home, but my sweet
    tooth would not forsake me
    So on to door number two...

    The next house looked like a castle
    the brick pathway was painted with gold
    I wanted something yummy for my tummy,
    I rang the doorbell, and lo and behold,
    A fine specimen of a Black man
    opened the portal wide
    He smiled a bright pearly white smile
    and said, Nubian queen, please come inside...

    To be continued....
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    Horror tales of a queen ...whoaaaaaaaaaa!!!

    pt.2 please wow.........spooky stuff
     
  3. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2003
    Messages:
    16,340
    Likes Received:
    114
    Location:
    Northeast
    Ratings:
    +122
    Yes, the things a queen has to go thru just to get some candy, lol. Not sure how I want part 2 to go, still thinking on it. Glad you enjoyed this Rich.
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    yeah ! spooky candy festa the Horror continues !
     
  5. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2003
    Messages:
    16,340
    Likes Received:
    114
    Location:
    Northeast
    Ratings:
    +122
    3 Doors to Hilarious Horror, part 2

    Thank you again Rich, my mind headed in this direction...
    As our story continues, the queen finds herself in the presence of a handsome
    Nubian king, who wants her to enter his palace...


    Beautiful as your castle
    is, I don't wish to enter. I just
    want to put an end to this hankering.
    So, filling this treat bag brotha, is a must.
    Then, your wish is my command, said this
    Nubian king, on that you can trust.
    As I watched him walk away, totally
    enjoying the view :)
    I thought to myself, he may well have
    much more than candy in store for you...
    Suddenly I heard a grunt, then a screech,
    then a crash, then all sorts of clatter
    It sounded like I heard some glass smash,
    but then it became apparent what was the matter...

    It jumped out at me, looking like a cross
    between Cujo and Old Yeller
    It said, darlin, I ain't no desperate housewife,
    but I locked that brotha up in the cellar
    As I took a real good look, in my horror
    at this backwoods local
    I realized that this was none other than
    Cletis the Slack-jawed Yokel,*
    And as I screamed, he said please baby,
    please baby baby please
    Although I only bathe for barnyard
    socials, and am infested with fleas
    I'll do my darndest, not to infect you
    with any lethal disease
    As he leaned down to kiss me, with
    a mouth that held nary a tooth
    I fainted...only later to find myself in some
    God awful dungeon, and that is the truth...


    * a character from The Simpsons
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    whoaaaaaaaaaa what a way to spend off
    only to fine self in the dungeon of horror
    whewwwwwwwwww! more more more !!!!!
     
  7. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2003
    Messages:
    16,340
    Likes Received:
    114
    Location:
    Northeast
    Ratings:
    +122
    Yes Rich, little did I know I would get caught up in such horrible surroundings. Let's see what the next installment will bring. Thank you so much for your support on this poet.
     
  8. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2003
    Messages:
    10,784
    Likes Received:
    4,235
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +4,472
    part 3 please....

    one love
    khasm
     
  9. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2003
    Messages:
    16,340
    Likes Received:
    114
    Location:
    Northeast
    Ratings:
    +122
    3 Doors to Hilarious Horror , part 3

    Alrighty Khasm, thank you for responding. QQ for your Halloween vibe...

    We find our queen visibly shaken on the dungeon floor...


    As I try to scan this dark desolate dungeon
    I see no signs of that Nubian king
    A much different cellar I lie in, and what scares
    me most, is that I can hardly see a thing
    My head is killing me, as I feel this lump, but I
    can't remember how I ended up on this floor
    I somehow stumble up a flight of stairs, only
    to find that there's not just one exit, but four
    Let's Make a Deal again, I murmur myself
    as I select yet another ill-fated door.
    The door slams and I am grabbed and thrown onto
    a table, my ankles and wrists bolted down tight
    As a spotlight beams down upon me, I'm thinking
    that this search for candy sure didn't turn out right...
    Anyway, this loud booming voice says, welcome
    to my lab, my name is Doctor Numb,
    that's right, I'm not feelin your flows at all,
    you need a lobotomy my queen, and then some...
    As the doctor pulls out his buzz saw
    and I am filled with impending doom
    I start screaming, the lab starts spinning, and I
    wake up...only to find myself in my own bedroom.
    It was all a dream, I laugh to myself,
    double checking for incisions in my head
    And although I still have a craving for candy,
    I think the wisest way to satisfy this sweet tooth
    is to get a piece of cake instead...

    Happy Halloween!!!!!!
     
  10. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    what a way to bring it to the sugar coated twist
    happy hallo back now get some cake..............
     
Loading...