Quiet Poetry Lounge : /

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by GYPSYMAN, Jul 3, 2001.

  1. GYPSYMAN

    GYPSYMAN Well-Known Member MEMBER

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  2. KentuckianKween

    KentuckianKween Active Member MEMBER

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    Re: Fourth Of Lies Pt. 2

    hey now... every so often, i figure you'd like to hear sumthin other than "nice job" or "dope piece," so i'ma break this down for you one time :D:


    >Black necks
    >on bloody trees
    >under
    >skys of fireworks


    Got me thinkin bout that strange fruit Billy Holiday used to sing about... the mention of fireworks kinda sets it off, though, and get the reader think about what to expect...


    >you..revolt
    >we...murder
    >you further
    >screws of oppression
    >under
    >star-spangled filth
    >hating Haitians
    >for their
    >"courage under fire"
    >in conversion
    >out of the
    >"devil's heaven"-
    >Saint Dominique...
    >Was "YOUR revolution"....unique?


    Too deep, man... heavily weighted words make heavily weighted phrases which in turn make for profound messages...


    >Giving each limb
    >of our
    >Black Revolutionaries...


    "Limb" takes on multiple meanings here thanks to the way you began this piece... deep...



    >to the
    >hemp halters
    >of your
    >Kentucky Quarter Horses
    >then screaming

    >"YAAAAHHH"



    YEAH, YEAH!!! KENTUCKY REPRESENTIN'!! THROW IT UP!!!!! :D


    ...



    >You conniving colonial
    >capitalist
    >pulled
    >Black toes
    >made a wish
    >and hung foes
    >who rose
    >from the masses
    >to speak out...


    Rhythmically speakin, I like the way this flowed... diggin the sporadic rhymin...


    >...against your Devildry
    >dressed in patriotic robes
    >of suggested purity
    >"Truth"
    >being like swine's
    >trying
    >to dress up
    >in
    >cologne and lipstick.


    This got me thinkin' about the police... **** pigs... fkin' fuzz.... gotdayum 5-0... :mad:


    >How many suffered
    >under your
    >roving eye
    >over Blackskin
    >in
    >slave pens
    >while you
    >displayed
    >your
    >ghastly grin
    >and
    >dirty whims...
    >Breaking
    >us on
    >wheels and racks...
    >Flaying us alive
    >Impaled and held
    >over fires
    >coaching castration
    >insuring
    >"three-fifths"
    >with
    >bull-whips and hedgeclips...


    Once again, very profound statements are made here and i'm diggin the melodic way it flows...


    >Nat Turner you say
    >was a criminal ?
    >Never heard about
    >a successful
    >"Nice"
    >Revolution....
    >Tired of your
    >one-sided
    >history
    >tale of
    >" black subservience "
    >to your
    >Forcefed ....Misery.


    Wonderful dismount....


    >Your Reign IS Ended...PhuCKKK the FOURTH !!!


    HELL YEAH!!!! I'm the most militant person in the world and after readin this I'm more than ready to go out and start a riot somewhere... f'real... I've been boycottin the 4th for some time now... this year will be no different... this was a very well crafted piece & if I may, I wanna leave you with a few quoted words:


    "What to the American slave is your Fourth of July? I answer: a day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless; your denunciation of tyrants, brass-fronted impudence; your shouts of liberty and equality, hollow mockery; your prayers and hymns, your sermons and thanksgivings, with all your religious parade and solemnity, are, to him, more bombast, fraud, deception, impiety and hipocrisy--a thin veil to cover up crimes which would disgrace a nation of savages..." --Elridge Cleaver, Soul on Ice



    Vive la resistance....
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    WELL JUST LIKE #1

    U DONE IT AGAIN IN #2
    BRING ME SOME POPCORN
    I GOTTA SIT DOWN AND PAY ATTENTION!!
     
  4. GYPSYMAN

    GYPSYMAN Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    PROFOUNDLY THANKFUL

    kWEENIE> I BELIEVE WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT THE MANNER IN WHICH YOU BROKE DOWN PT. 2...IT IS A BLESSED GIFT FOR THIS POET ..THANKYOU THANKYOU AND THANKYOU AGAIN FOR YOUR TECHNICAL CRITIQUE...IT MEANT ALOT TO ME ..4 REAL...I REALLY APPRECIATE THE SCIENCE DROPPED FROM ELDRIDGE CLEAVER AS WELL...WHATCHU KNOW 'BOUT ICEBERG SLIM ? :D ...YOU KNOW 'BOUT DONALD GOINS TOO ?..IM SURE YOU DO..KWEENIE ..ITS A PLEASURE MEETING YOU IN THIS FASHION..:heart: FELT THANKS ONCE AGAIN.

    On A Continuous Journey
    GYPSYMAN
     
  5. GYPSYMAN

    GYPSYMAN Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    ONCE AGAIN

    RICH YOUR VALUABLE INPUT IS ALWAYS ANTICIPATED...THANKS BRO.RICH..AGAIN.

    On A Continuous Journey
    GYPSYMAN
     
  6. KentuckianKween

    KentuckianKween Active Member MEMBER

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    nah, i'm not up on this Donal Goins kat, but i'ma check him out... and i kinda made a mistake with that quote... those are the words of Frederick Douglas... Mr. Cleaver cited them in his book... but anywho... you are very much welcome... i enjoyed readin this piece :D
     
  7. GA_Sunshyne

    GA_Sunshyne Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    G-Man....


    i wanna say something....

    but i'm at a loss for words ryght now.
    i have been silenced effectively by your
    scribe.... my heart is beating so fast....

    this is how i know that i have been moved.

    AlwaysLove.
    SunShyne~
     
  8. GYPSYMAN

    GYPSYMAN Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    GA

    KNOWIN' MY PEICE HIT CHU LIKE DAT...I CANT PUT WORDS TO THE EMOTION..MUCH THANKS GA ..4 REAL.

    On A Continuous Journey
    GYPSYMAN
     
  9. N2urSoul

    N2urSoul Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Gypsy

    I see something more than Wisdom that comes from out
    of Texas ~~ this is like reading a thesis of some sort or maybe an oracular essay :wink:

    Whatever the case may be ~ it's definitely on hit!!

    One :heart:
     
  10. shaneak

    shaneak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    mannnn.....

    I felt this...you words were strong, powerful, educated and true. the fourth...interesting thoughts written down on paper...