Black People : “If you offend, ask for a pardon; if offended forgive.”

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by Asomfwaa, Jun 19, 2013.

  1. Asomfwaa

    Asomfwaa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A Proverb from our Continent.

    It's not as easy as it reads; but I'm trying to apply it--kinda sort of . . ..

    Anyone agree, disagree?
     
  2. Alarm Clock

    Alarm Clock Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    And not just an apology, explain where the disconnect was o create understanding! At this juncture in African history 2013, we cannot choose our blood kin, but we can choose, where we speak and congregate, so wherever we congregate as a people, every effort must be created to provide understanding, and make sure ones offense is understood as something that will not be repeated, but done as a shock response, when speaking to someone one feels to be a co-worker for the liberation of the minds of our people. For instance, here in NYC, every ethnic group in the world resides here, so each as I have realized, have almost blood oathes of loyalty to one another within the group, that men say to each other, "I will do anything it takes by any means necessary to help your child get to college" One group will say , or I would risk the electric chair to protect the honor of your daughter" and so on. Not that one intends to anything unlawful, just a figure of speech!
    We have no time to support White supremacy, with keeping grudges or allowing any misunderstanding between us especially between Africans here and Africans on the continent. Or disrespect our mutual ancestors with such negative behavior. MAAT illustrates that the heart should be light, and never heavy!

    The internet is an amazing, experience in African history, it allows a venue for those thousands of miles away from each other to communicate, therefore the concepts of unity; spiritualy, among those who cannot see each other, start here among complete strangers, and the unity we create here reverberates spiritualy to our environment!
     
  3. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    :thinking:

    Well, for me, it's easy for me to apologize if I'm told I have offended someone.

    As for forgiveness, that's a tough one. Sort of depends on the offense.

    I read stories of people "forgiving" those who commit murders or rape of their loved ones. I never want to experience that, and don't know that I could do that if I did.

    Can a person be unforgiving--not necessarily harbor hatred--and still be a healthy person?

    Does everyone deserve forgiveness?

    Should we forgive our oppressors?

    :thinking:
     
  4. Gorilla

    Gorilla Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think it depends on the context. If I do or say something brash and stupid and it offends, I should apologize.

    If a person's sensibilities are collateral damage while expressing myself or doing something I feel is right, then I probably will not apologize. In return, I don't get offended easily when someone is doing the same. I guess it's all about intent.

    I can't calibrate my line to match everyone's boundary out there at all times. I don't believe that anyone has the right to never be offended either.
     
  5. Feather

    Feather Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I believe in letting go of things... but reading NNQueen's question, "Does anyone deserve forgiveness?" made me think of the way I feel when someone offends me and how I usually hate people saying sorry after they said something cruel to hurt me because they're mad or just being evil; I usually do not withhold kindness to them but I harbor hard feelings and I may even shun them even though I try not to keep the negative vibe...I feel if you say something then you mean it even if you are mad, you said it so own it and don't say sorry to me. I will still be courteous to such a person but I will always be cautious around them knowing their potential and how far they can take things and how they reacted in situations.

    I think this is a complicated question in a way lol. Sometimes you offend someone and you really did nothing but its just the way the person takes what you did or said and they're sensitive. I believe we should make an effort to forgive but when someone does something like rape someone I believe its in the energy of the occurrence...we may forgive but that energy is still in the universe. We have all heard once you say something you cant take it back, right? Like when you tell the police I don't want to press charges but they say the state is because what the person did is against the law and they are arresting them on evidence. I think Karma is like that. Whoever the wrong doer is I feel a person needs to heal but I think there is no forgiveness for the person only their debt which Karma will collect. I think it is out of our hands then.
     
  6. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    :11100: can't we all just get along?
     
  7. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Bro. jamesfrmphilly, I hear you...especially since you repeat this mantra from thread to thread. :)

    And, maybe you should, to constantly remind us that we CAN get along--even when we disagree. We just have to learn how to do that and be about making it happen.

    It's about civility, respect and compassion. We can disagree and still maintain those sensibilities about us, can't we?

    We're not perfect (whatever that is) and we won't always do the "right" thing when we probably should. There are ways, things we can do, to 'fix' our mistakes though, if we care to.

    There have been times when I've said things in the heat of anger, that later, I wished I hadn't said. Gosh, and I have paid the price for that many times over--even after an apology, not by the person who I needed to apologize to, but from my own internal acknowledgement that I did it. (I'm trying not to beat up on myself for that stuff, though, and to learn from it and not repeat it.)

    Something that Bro. Gorilla wrote though, that really made me stop and think..."People have no right to never be offended." (Very provocative statement) It's all about how we deal with the situations when we are.
     
  8. Perfection

    Perfection Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yes you are. That is to say, Black Women are.
     
  9. Asomfwaa

    Asomfwaa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think that thePreacher made an excellent point in quoting the Buddha:

    http://www.destee.com/index.php?threads/which-one-is-more-treasonous.76560/page-6#post-809129

    Translation, you will harbor hatred if you are unforgiving and that is unhealthy.

    Regarding forgiveness, it's partly for yourself, i.e. if you are unforgiving you forfeit your health.

    Regarding the oppressor, it's different to forgive a past offense and a future offense. The issue with our oppressors is that they will offend us most assuredly. Until we get out of our condition of oppression, forgiveness will maintain that oppression. :)
     
  10. Asomfwaa

    Asomfwaa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    That's the trouble with the proverb. People are offended by their own sensibilities and oftentimes their own misunderstandings. If you're with a woman and she asks "Why are you with me?" and you say "I can't explain it" so to mean it's just an attraction, she may interpret it as you can't name a good thing about her. You offended her but not out of your intention. It's time to apologize! :)

    This happens to me on this forum occasionally. I write something. I am read as saying something else. Then unaware I engage with what I read and suddenly I'm in a war. I feel that we should strengthen our resolve to apologize.

    Even if no one has the right to be unoffended. At least with those you speak with and value, your intentions should not be to offend. So if you do, in my opinion, you should apologize. :)
     
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