Black Relationships : “Black Women Only Want Thugs” is a Load of Crap

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Liberty, Feb 2, 2016.

  1. Liberty

    Liberty going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2015
    Messages:
    5,890
    Likes Received:
    1,129
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +3,252
    [​IMG]

    The other day, I listened to a Black man, for the umpteenth time, admonish Black women to stop overlooking nice guys for those bad boy thugs we love so much. And something in me snapped, finally. Whut?! I call bull.

    If you’re unfamiliar with the trope I’m talking about, let me start from the beginning. There’s the well-known adage that “nice guys finish last,” which theorizes that simple kindness will not get you laid. It won’t. But taken a step further, there is a rather common lament among Black men that Black women only run after thugs. Black women, they say, routinely tell men, “You’re too nice!” and that they need a man with a little danger to him.

    I can’t offer empirical data to refute this claim. There is no CDC study on the ratio on dating success of Nice Guys vs. Thugs. What I can offer, however, is a bit of common sense–because, frankly, this “Black women all want thugs” view is nonsensical, classist, reductive, and lazy to me.

    Read more

    http://trulytafakari.com/black-women-only-want-thugs-is-crap/
     
  2. baller

    baller Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    Canada
    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2001
    Messages:
    3,759
    Likes Received:
    673
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    the near north
    Ratings:
    +836
    let me jump on this quick.:)

    i'm not saying ALL black women are looking for thug bruthaz...but there are some. AND, they will gladly tell you that. i moved back to mississippi in '02...and was surprised by what was going on. sure, it was an economically depressed area...in small town mississippi...and the youths were living their lives through the lyrics of rap songs...but it did exist. one of my nephews was sagging...and acting up (as they say)...and i confronted him about it. another nephew--older--got in the conversation...saying, listen to this uncle, women don't hear ya if you don't got a little thug in ya. after that conversation, i put my ears on...and started watching the flow. HE WAS RIGHT. the women there were caught up in their "baddest b*tch" syndrome...and running up on them all nice and gentlemanly would only get you a hand in the face. for real. again, i think it was the area, the economic situation, the lack of access, as well as the small town mentality, that played into their situation. however, i have seen it in other, larger cities, as well...but mostly in the hoods.

    it's out there...more prevalent in some places than others, but it does exist.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • True True x 1
    • List
  3. Liberty

    Liberty going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2015
    Messages:
    5,890
    Likes Received:
    1,129
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +3,252
    Some women are "thugs", too. So, it would only make sense that THEY would couple with thugs.

    I don't see "nice girls" consciously seeking relationships with thugs. I have seen a few women get caught up with men they didn't know were criminals...

    But, I don't know any "nice women" who go out of their way to find thugs to mate with. I have two sisters, and two female cousins, that were raised as if they were my sisters, too. I base my information about women on the five of us. I know these women inside and out. The last thing any of us would want would be a "thug".
     
  4. Chaya Chaim

    Chaya Chaim Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2016
    Messages:
    294
    Likes Received:
    145
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +269
    Only lost Judah, Isschacar, zebulon and Benjamin women want ishmaelite and Edomites savagery blood thirsty thugs and the lost simple minded lost Israeli brethren..just like their edomite Neanderthal sisters
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Enjoyed Enjoyed x 1
    • List
  5. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2001
    Messages:
    20,976
    Likes Received:
    5,248
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Chemist
    Location:
    Detroit
    Ratings:
    +6,137


    It's more than some. Saggy pants dude gets dates. So this isn't rare. There are also other examples that there plenty of females going thug loving




    .
     
  6. Hermetic

    Hermetic going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    May 30, 2015
    Messages:
    265
    Likes Received:
    74
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +236
    What you say is true. Unfortunately, the number of the lost is not insignificant in both genders. The lost even label themselves with the names of "N****" and "B** B****". Right now it seems the best we can do is try to make sure we raise our children well enough that they do not join the ranks of the lost. I fear we are losing though, since their ranks seem to grow faster than ours.
     
  7. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2004
    Messages:
    32,017
    Likes Received:
    11,483
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    retired computer geek
    Location:
    north philly ghetto
    Ratings:
    +13,745
  8. Liberty

    Liberty going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2015
    Messages:
    5,890
    Likes Received:
    1,129
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +3,252
    You know I never allowed rap music in my house. My son was absolutely unaware of it. Too many N-words, bxxtches and hoes for my ears, let alone my child. He grew up on Reggae, R&B, Mowtown, and Jazz. Today he hates Rap. He thinks it's his original idea. I hear him telling his friends he doesn't like rap because of all the cussing

    But, at a family gathering, my cousin's friend was telling me how she is fighting with the schools administration, because the school didn't want her 6 and 8 year olds wearing "grills" to school. I couldn't beleive my ears.

    First. There s something really wrong when 6 and 8 year olds ask for grills for Christmas. (my son had no idea what a grill was) These kids are obviously watching programs that are age inappropriate.

    Now, why does Mom think this is cute? Why did she buy these kids grills? What is she trying to raise?

    And, btw, yes Dad and Mom are married and live together.

    Why is it so important that these kids wear grills to school? Where is the focus?

    Anyway, I as too through. I used to respect this woman. I made a mental note that there would be no playdates for my son with these gangsta kids.
     
  9. Chaya Chaim

    Chaya Chaim Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2016
    Messages:
    294
    Likes Received:
    145
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +269
    Ahmean sister :)

    They're lost for a lack of knowledge, years I tried telling our Israeli brethren and sisteren to learn not the ways of heathens, and I was hated even by my simple headed Israeli cousins, because they believe easu and his cave Neanderthal female is "down " because she shakes her diarrhea stinking smelly butt cheeks, using charms and enchantments from these satanic blackface buck dancing pop trash they call gangsters rap, gangsters is not honorable...but I mourn for them sister
     
  10. NyneElementz

    NyneElementz Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2006
    Messages:
    387
    Likes Received:
    341
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Myrtle Beach, SC
    Ratings:
    +356
    It's funny that you take this stand as being lazy, classist, or reductive. But I've experienced it a lot. I'm not saying all, but I will say that this is true of many black women. And it really doesn't matter how well you treat them. The "you're too nice" mentality exists. It's been on Divorce Court where two comedians who were good together, according to the husbad, ended up with a broken marriage because, as the former wife said, "he's too nice, he doesn't have to tell me he loves me twice a week," and the classic one of that video clip: "If I say I'm hungry, he won't just fix me a sandwich. This brother will get in the kitchen and fix me meatloaf, collard greens, cornbread, the whole works."

    Seven women have broke off relationships with me over this same reason, including the mother of my son, who later learned that what I gave her was love, not a front. But to say it doesn't exist? I say try being one of us nice guys, and see it and experience it yourself. Been there, done that. Bought and burned 7 t-shirts from that experience set.
     
Loading...