Amun-Ra : Incest! Now! I said It!

I feel all of you!

Somewhere in the warped minds of some people there is a reason for all of this, but what ever the hell it might be, I have not a **** idea. I just know how it makes me feel and i can't even begin to imagine how it makes a victim feel. Some of you have shared with me off line and I must say that truth is much stranger than fiction. "A punctured soul" is how it was put and I can't think of a btter way to say it. Some poor child will be punctured for life because of some one not capable of taking responsibilty. And, YES! It happens right here in the black community and no amount of sweeping will ever get it under the carpet and its about time that the men who do these things pay the price for the scarring behavior.
 
The flip side

This is an issue that breaks me up inside because of the children I've worked with in the classroom, who were housed in lock-down placement facilities ~ as if they had committed crimes. The other side of the coin, the children who are separated from families because of these acts, is a sad consequence of incestuous, emotional, physical abuse. During my employment at one of Southern California's largest "children centers", I would walk the hallways when class wasn't in session, and find myself in the nursery. There would be scores of new infants, toddlers, sisters and brothers, either abused/neglected/abandoned and remanded into court custody while parent(s)/guardians/custodial adults were being charged/sentenced/rehabilitated.

I remember countless horror stories that still bring tears to my eyes. There was a six year old boy, whose father (an ordained minister) repeatedly assaulted him sexually. It is a disease of the worst kind, I believe. And, perpetrators have no idea how they affect/infect the lives of the innocent, forever. Many times, children begin to 'act out' sexually because of these abuses. They BECOME perpetrators against their brothers, sisters, smaller children, etc. The dysfunctional behavior is far-reaching in too many cases. All of my actual students in my equivalent 6th grade class had attorneys, social workers, childrens' advocates; 80% of them required special educational services due to learning disabilities due to their home environments...and of course, there were drug babies who would have certain challenges for life. 90% of the children had counselors/psychiatrists, and many of these chilren were on medications. The 10 - 20% who were so-called 'normal', would be the first (depending upon age ~ older children are always much harder to 'place') to go into group home environments, or to stable family member homes...or adopted outright.

But the separation from family takes its toll on all children in some way. Because everyone is different, we cannot predict who will thrive, survive, or stay alive.
And I did see death come to those who didn't make it a week after 'release'...especially if they 'aged out' at their 19th birthday.

I chose to foster a child from this experience; but we couldn't be 'together' until one of us left the facility. Once she was placed in a group home setting, I was able to aggressively 'fost-dopt' her. She became my oldest child ~ I was already a mother of 2 with one on the way. Her story is much like all the others; but she was the oldest of her siblings, and a survivor. It was because of her reporting the incidents of abuse, calling 911, that Childrens Services came in and rescued her and her siblings. She tells me there are memories that still haunt her ~ feelings that nag at her in the middle of sleepless nights. But her natural born will to live and succeed, and her belief that she was destined for something greater, sustained her. She is thriving now, married, with an intact family unit of her own. Her plans have always been to become a childrens' advocate/attorney, working on behalf of children and issues she's intimately familiar with.

This scourge of incest is not new in our society, nor in our 'family' as Blacks. And I agree that the demon must be exorcised, exposed, executed. Bringing people (male AND female, now, it's not always and only the men perpetrating) out, dealing with their deep-seated 'issues' through intensive-aggressive rehab/counseling; making them accountable for their PRESENT manifestations of whatever they went through 'back then', therefore not allowing them to blame whomever turned them out...is one way. AFTER prosecution and STIFF sentencing.

I'm for 'outting' the mental darkness that lurks behind closed doors, responsible for the 12-year old prostitutes, mommies, daddies, drug addicts, thieves, arsonists, gang bangers, murderers I've worked with in lock-down institutions.


A
 
As usual

Alyce has brought some reality to this discussion from the side we wish didn't see. She brings the reality of what happens to those who suffer incest. She tells us the stories of those who choose to go on (there are many who choose not to do so). It hurts to hear such words, but it is true. Toolong have too many people gotten away with this hideous crime. Too long have we turned our heads while the innocent pay the price. Too long we have stood idly by and listened to the charlatans who call themselves protectors, too long we have listened to ourselves say "I'm glad it wasn't me!" Too long is longer than I care to sit idly by. Too long is just to **** long! I've got to take this to another level.

Ra
 
There once was a young girl who had an uncle. Uncle John would often babysit her. As she grew older Uncle John no longer saw her as a baby, but as a conquest. He first started out by fondling her, and then he moved to having sex with her. She was emotionally a wreck. She knew what happened was wrong, but felt it was her fault. She became introverted and withdrawn. She closed herself off from those around her. everyone knew something was up. One day while Uncle John was babysitting, the Watcher decided to double back to the house, to the Watcher's dismay he saw Uncle John holding the young girl down about to penetrate her as usual. Watcher busted in and put a beatdown on Uncle John, yet the damage is done. The young girl is still undergoing therapy but with the help of the almighty she'll be alright. Meanwhile Uncle John don't come around anymore...After he regained the ability to walk, he did a stint of 10 yrs for his deed...In those 10 yrs behind bars Uncle John became the little girl.

Whatsoever a man soweth that also shall he reapeth.


*True Story....The little girl was my Goddaughter, her uncle was her mother's brother and used to be my close friend....She's now 19 and doing fine.
 
And there is the danger

These molesters and abusers could make one of us end up in the place they should be--jail! My first thought is to severely harm anyone who would do such a thing and if I was to be in proximity, I don't know if my rational mind would prevail over such a heinous act. Reality tells me that the worst punishment for such an offender would to be locked behind bars with no chance for freedom and where that peson may become a victim themself, but rage is serious business when it occurs in the moment. I would be devasted to spend one day behind bars for any harm I might cause to such a villian, but it would be just punishment. Nevertheless, it enrages me so much that it seems almost impossible to resist the temptation to castrate such a person and the spot and let them live with that for the rest of their lives.

I know some of these people and as others have all ready said, at family reunions you can tell who they are because mothers keep a constant eye on their children when they are around uncle "so and so". Nowadays, you even have to watch Aunt "so and so" because it works both ways although men are usually the main culprits. It is a sad situation and what makes it even more so is that it is "off limits" to talk about in the community. We are talking about it now, but if this forum was to go public nationally today, within 24 hours the "Negro Thought Police" would be on our butts calling us traitors, sell outs and worse because we had the nerve to air dirty laundry. What makes it even more sad is that it's really not a secret!
 

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