Black Relationships : Forsaking All Others

[Destee]

Here is an example.

What if your husband and your son got into an argument over money. Added to that, your husband was WRONG. Could you stand by your husband, forsaking all others?

I'd stand by my husband in the above scenario ... only because ... i'd talk to him about it in private.

I would show him why i think he is wrong, try to get him to see (or show me where i am wrong).

That way, once he sees it, he can go to the child and correct his own self.

Probably not the best, to correct a parent in front of the child.

Should he never agree with me, i'd probably let my child know i agree with them, but Daddy does not see it our way.

We'll have to go with him on it ... as i'm sure it's not a life threatening situation.

It's more important at this point, to stand with your husband, and teach your child how to stand with their Father - even if we think he is wrong.

Loving Us!



Destee

 

[Liberty]

I'd stand by my husband in the above scenario ... only because ... i'd talk to him about it in private.

I would show him why i think he is wrong, try to get him to see (or show me where i am wrong).

That way, once he sees it, he can go to the child and correct his own self.

Probably not the best, to correct a parent in front of the child.

Should he never agree with me, i'd probably let my child know i agree with them, but Daddy does not see it our way.

We'll have to go with him on it ... as i'm sure it's not a life threatening situation.

More important at this point, to stand with your husband, and teach your child how to stand with their Father - even if we think he is wrong.

Loving Us!



Destee

Very interesting approach. Would it matter if it were a Step-Father?

 

[Destee]

Very interesting approach. Would it matter if it were a Step-Father?

No ... i don't think it makes any difference.

If I have married the Step-Father - it is already determined that he has me and my children's best interest at heart.

I would already be trusting him with me and my children, if i married him.

That trust would require me to go with him ... on disagreements ... when i can.

It's necessary even for the children to see that you have respect for this man's decisions, so they can.

A decision may not always look right on the surface, when making it, and trust is often a factor.

Trusting your own decision making ability, or your husband's ... either one could be wrong at any time.

The key is knowing he loves you and your children, trusting that, will make times like this easier.

Even after trusting him, and you find later he was wrong, that has to be okay too ... as it happens to the best of us.

If ever it gets where you do not trust him, his love for you and the babies ... then ... that's a different thread ...

Love You!



Destee

 

[Liberty]

No ... i don't think it makes any difference.

If I have married the Step-Father - it is already determined that he has me and my children's best interest at heart.

I would already be trusting him with me and my children, if i married him.

That trust would require me to go with him ... on disagreements ... when i can.

It's necessary even for the children to see that you have respect for this man's decisions, so they can.

A decision may not always look right on the surface, when making it, and trust is often a factor.

Trusting your own decision making ability, or your husband's ... either one could be wrong at any time.

The key is knowing he loves you and your children, trusting that, will make times like this easier.

Even after trusting him, and you find later he was wrong, that has to be okay too ... as it happens to the best of us.

If ever it gets where you do not trust him, his love for you and the babies ... then ... that's a different thread ...

Love You!



Destee

Excellent Post. I love your logic. You really broke it down.

*smile*

 

[Hermetic]

I believe trust can only be gained via Integrity and Respect. Being able to admit you are wrong and siding with what is right is more important to me than massaging mine or anyone else's ego. Therefor if my wife knows I am wrong, I expect her to point it out to me. I believe we are all fallible, and many times an outside view can see more clearly than a view from the inside of an issue. I may not immediately like the fact that I am wrong (when proven), but I am greatful that she was considerate enough to expose the truth to me.

I guess it is a lot easier for me to take this position because my paradigm is not structured to follow some religious doctrine. So passages from a holy book are not the basis for my morality, and instead I base my morality on Humanism.