Black Relationships : A must read article

The reason why I called it a must read is because of the abuse that women are putting their bodies through - feeding the aggressive behavior of men who uses words like 'beat it up'. We live in a violent society where we talking about killing and beating everything up ... Nevertheless, in the article you will find that women are being hurt by these aggressive behaviors and they have conditioned themselves to think that its okay. I know that terms such as 'beat it up' or 'I killed it' are just colloquial phrases but there is a thin line here when it starts to manifest itself in physical ways.

I don't want to beat it up I mean I will play fight with it but to beat it up is something different when there are real physical manifestations. So again the part that I took primarily from the article is that this starting to translate into physical manifestations and our sistas are feeding these physical manifestations by suggestive behaviors. Please note: I feel a woman can do as they please yet at the same time as the saying goes - you keep doing the same things you will get the same results - and if our sistas want to be taken seriously then they have to change this perspective of them as objects of violations.

The bold is where you should pause. We don't live in a 'violent society' where we 'talk about killing and beating everything up.'

If that's your experience, that's your experience, and you should alienate yourself therefrom. But if that's your experience and you silently endorse it then you should recognize where the problem is.

The African experience is multitudinous. A lot of Africans are imprisoned, wrongfully, and come out as violent as Europeans, but this isn't a universal experience and association with violence can be limited.

Advise sisters to stay away from our violent; those whom subscribe to prison/rap culture and those whom view women as property/prostitutes.

But mainly, as a man, you should be advising men away from violence. If you view "our" society as violent then you socialize with violent people--and permit them to be violent or endorse violence around you. The question returns to you is why?

Because, I'm sure that I socialize with violent people. But I never hear any violence. Because around me, we talk about Black liberation or we don't talk at all.

HTP

Edit: You can't imagine how often Brother's talk "Consciousness" with me, then turn around and talk crap among themselves. Our people lower our intelligence ourselves.

How about next time someone says "I want to kill that" you ask "Why in the world would you want to kill that?" and put the fronting man on the spot?
 
i take sisters seriously form the get go…..i give respect and they give it back
O I take them serious as well - but I'm not talking about people such as yourself, myself or others who know how to read books, situations, people and energy. I'm talking about those who are not willing to learn treat our sistas like they need to be treated. I'm a firm believer that our sistas have the ability to change these fads and to determine the destiny of their personal outcomes.

Lets keep it real - sistas on these videos have some intense bodies and they do what they do to get paid, or whatever their purposes is for - but what about that sistas who is not into what these women are into but her body is just as nice if not nicer and she's approached by the same brothas who would approach these video so-called vixens? These brothas convince these sistas with smooth talking making them believe what is not real just to get them in that room and treat them the same way. Not coo at all - there has to be a revamping of the image of black women and the portrayal of them in general.
 
The bold is where you should pause. We don't live in a 'violent society' where we 'talk about killing and beating everything up.'

If that's your experience, that's your experience, and you should alienate yourself therefrom. But if that's your experience and you silently endorse it then you should recognize where the problem is.

The African experience is multitudinous. A lot of Africans are imprisoned, wrongfully, and come out as violent as Europeans, but this isn't a universal experience and association with violence can be limited.

Advise sisters to stay away from our violent; those whom subscribe to prison/rap culture and those whom view women as property/prostitutes.

But mainly, as a man, you should be advising men away from violence. If you view "our" society as violent then you socialize with violent people--and permit them to be violent or endorse violence around you. The question returns to you is why?

Because, I'm sure that I socialize with violent people. But I never hear any violence. Because around me, we talk about Black liberation or we don't talk at all.
HTP

Edit: You can't imagine how often Brother's talk "Consciousness" with me, then turn around and talk crap among themselves. Our people lower our intelligence ourselves.

How about next time someone says "I want to kill that" you ask "Why in the world would you want to kill that?" and put the fronting man on the spot?
What you are saying is true but here's the thing - I don't associate with violent folks and the truth of the matter is I place this topic in relationships section and not in the women's section so this topic is for both men and women. The primary focus is on men but I go where the topic takes me at times - and as a man this topic got to me because of the aggressive behavior perpetrated by men. As you stated why not ask the question you proposed - lol - I have and have asked them why they would want to beat it up. Now I'm not speaking about today or yesterday because I don't talk to brothas like that - but as a point of reasoning - I'm sure we have family members who give into this type of thinking. Not everyone is on a so-called conscious level of thinking. With this being said - this is an issue for both males and females alike - and as men we need to address it from the male perspective but this topic can be addressed from both points of views.

Now you stated that you don't see a problem with women flaunting their sexuality and as I stated - a woman can do whatever she wants to do which was not to take her ability to flaunt away from her - but then I ask this question - how do you feel about a man flaunting his sexuality? I'm talking about grabbing on himself in front of your women, kids and so forth. I mean that's how men do it at times - is there nothing wrong with that as well? How men do it is different from the way women so we can't pick and choice how we want people to flaunt their sexuality so is it okay for the brothas to act in such a manner?

So Ji Ase Ire
 
What you are saying is true but here's the thing - I don't associate with violent folks and the truth of the matter is I place this topic in relationships section and not in the women's section so this topic is for both men and women. The primary focus is on men but I go where the topic takes me at times - and as a man this topic got to me because of the aggressive behavior perpetrated by men. As you stated why not ask the question you proposed - lol - I have and have asked them why they would want to beat it up. Now I'm not speaking about today or yesterday because I don't talk to brothas like that - but as a point of reasoning - I'm sure we have family members who give into this type of thinking. Not everyone is on a so-called conscious level of thinking. With this being said - this is an issue for both males and females alike - and as men we need to address it from the male perspective but this topic can be addressed from both points of views.

Now you stated that you don't see a problem with women flaunting their sexuality and as I stated - a woman can do whatever she wants to do which was not to take her ability to flaunt away from her - but then I ask this question - how do you feel about a man flaunting his sexuality? I'm talking about grabbing on himself in front of your women, kids and so forth. I mean that's how men do it at times - is there nothing wrong with that as well? How man do it may be different then women so we can't pick and choice how we want people to flaunt their sexuality so is it okay for the brothas to act in such a manner?

So Ji Ase Ire

What I am communicating is that it's not a man's place to raise women. The man raises men.

As to women and men flaunting sexuality, I don't mean like inappropriate behavior (I said don't do it to excess). Clearly, I disagree with men in high heels and women with fishnet pants.

So I don't really see the question.

Women can be sexy, but she should be valued not only for appearance and wealth, but for her homemaking talents and child-rearing skills.

For instance, today's ideal woman is a "Basketball Wife." I never watched the program, but it's my understanding that these women are untalented and negligent but 'sexy' and 'wealthy.' This is a problem when we really understand what our women were historically.
 
What I am communicating is that it's not a man's place to raise women. The man raises men.

As to women and men flaunting sexuality, I don't mean like inappropriate behavior (I said don't do it to excess). Clearly, I disagree with men in high heels and women with fishnet pants.

So I don't really see the question.

Women can be sexy, but she should be valued not only for appearance and wealth, but for her homemaking talents and child-rearing skills.

For instance, today's ideal woman is a "Basketball Wife." I never watched the program, but it's my understanding that these women are untalented and negligent but 'sexy' and 'wealthy.' This is a problem when we really understand what our women were historically.
I believe we are on the same page - and believe me its not for a man to raise a woman to about her sexuality and so forth - but as a topic of concern I feel that anyone be it male or female post issues that some may not be aware of or haven't really paid attention to. What was given to me - I gave to Destee and from that point is fair game as to how and who is going to respond to it.
 

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