Black Relationships : Appreciation, Consideration and Responsibility

[legit-writer]

I have been meaning to post this thread, but the last couple of days have been really crazy. I have not gotten much sleep until last night. So here it goes:

I think of appreciation from time to time. We all have our own way of showing appreciation for what someone has done for us. Unfortunately, sometimes, we feel we are showing appreciation to others, but the other person may not see it.

Sometimes I feel unappreciated because when I do nice things for folks, especially when I go out of my way to do it, I don't "get a thank you." Wait a minute, let me say that a different way. If I was to be just friends with someone, nothing serious, yes I will get a "thank you" or even a thank you card. But if I was to really be into that person, it seems that things change. He feels that he doesn't need to say thank you or send a thank you card to show he appreciates me. If I was to ask him what happened to the nice cards he send, his response makes me regret asking. He would give off a vibe that I am ungrateful, when all I was telling him was the stuff he did that made me feel appreciated. I mean, I feel that just because me and that person gets close does not mean that he changes you know? An "I miss you" or "I appreciate you" card would definitely be nice. I have noticed guys complaining about girls who are materialistic, but how materialistic is a thank you card? Since when doesn't have have time to do that? Does it have to be a special occasion for you to do something like that? NO! I would not think so. Maybe it's me that's tripping, but I am tired of feeling like I am the one who's crazy. So I am not going to back down. So to the men out there who are reading this, what do you do to show a lady friend you are close to that you appreciate her?

I've noticed that when I first meet a guy on some occasions, he is considerate. What I call respect is things like him not leaving trash in my car, or he would listen to me when I am wanting to talk to him about something. Once again, when we call ourselves getting close, that changes. Now it's that he doesn't have time to hear what I have to say or something like that. It's something or another. They would not care that the other person has a time schedule too. Instead, they are just thinking of themselves. They don't think that the other person's life or schedule is just as important as their own.

Responsibility is another one. At first when you two get into a disagreement, and when he knows he is in the wrong about something, he at least admits he was. But as time goes on, all he says is "ok" or doesn't say anything at all. And when told about it, his responds as if he has to be right all the time. They don't bother to look at how they could have possibly acted or how they could have handled a certain conversation better. They stop coming to you later on to tell you that they thought about things you said. I don't get what's that about!

I don't know if I am just making a big deal out of this, but I've observed these things in life. I don't get why do some guys I know would act responsible, considerate and show appreciation at first, but when time goes on, all that nice stuff stops and they don't care to look at themselves. Is it that they feel they need control? I mean, what is it?

For the men who are reading this, AND YES I SAID MEN! (so if you're a boy please stop reading this post), please tell me how you show your lady friend or girlfriend that you appreciate her, considerate of her feelings, and admit when you are in the wrong, instead of trying to be right. Thanks!

Until Next Time,

The Infinite Angel

 

[cherryblossom]

... I don't get why do some guys I know would act responsible, considerate and show appreciation at first, but when time goes on, all that nice stuff stops and they don't care to look at themselves. Is it that they feel they need control? I mean, what is it?

...

To be fair, some men have often said the same of some women.

Both are capable of exhibiting this behavior.

I am reminded of the old saying, "What it takes to get him/her is the same thing it takes to keep him/her."

But, when a person is not sincere, they will start off one way and end up another.

Also, sometimes, a person may be sincere but also have the human fault of taking another for granted sometimes....getting so "comfortable" in the relationship that he or she begins to do/say things without considering the other.

However, IMO, the "sincere" person will recognize/admit this fault and seek to make amends in the relationship.

But, if two people can not, through open communication (not by constantly verbally attacking each other) cooperate and empathize with each other, putting him/herself in the other's shoes, then, IMO, it's time to walk away.



That's my 2 cents.