Black Relationships : Why do some women sleep with a lot of men?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by karmashines, Aug 10, 2005.

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  1. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    In another thread somebody gave a percentage of how many women have never orgasmed during sex. It was alarming.... like 70 or 80%.

    But then when you turn on Maury, there are a whole bunch of women who don't know who their child's father is. In some cases the number of men being tested were like 20 at a time. On top of this they jeopardized the relationship with the GOOD man that they were currently involved with.

    So the question is, if generally women don't get as much physical pleasure out of sex as men, (as to me it's BEST if you do orgasm), then why are some women having sex with a lot of guys? I can understand men's mentality towards sex, because not only are they wired differently due to testerone but they usually can easily achieve orgasm each time. But women aren't like that... even highly orgasmic women may have to keep experimenting to find ways to finally be able to climax each time.

    Is it emotional? Do they think they can hook the man into a relationship? But then if someone was thinking that way they wouldn't be sleeping with such a large volume at one time. Plus, there are many cases where they already have a man.

    Is it psychological? Do they feel they are some type of 'goddess' being able to screw so many men?

    What are your thoughts? I'm curious the opinions of both women and men on this issue.
  2. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well, I think women do enjoy sex as much as men do. I've known more women that want sex as much as I did rather than not wanting it as much.

    I feel like women who don't enjoy sex are the ones that are probably doing it for the wrong reason. Maybe their trying to gain acceptance or trying to force a man to love them. As far as women sleeping with a lot of men, maybe these women just don't allow society to define their sexuality. Maybe these are women that want to sleep with many men, the same way so many guys want to have sex with as many women as they can. I believe this is more common than people think. I don't think there is always an underlined reason for a woman having sex with a lot of guys. People claim men are wired to have sex, but there are also men out there that don't have a desire to sleep with every woman in the world, the same way there are women out there that sleep with a different guy every night.
  3. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    i don't think tabloid TV provides a realistic sample.....

    most women around philly aren't doing that.
    do you actually KNOW women who do it like that?
  4. PoeticManifesta

    PoeticManifesta Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think they do it because.. they seem to come close.. but never orgasam.. they really want this experience. But for some reason never get it, also some may seek acceptance as an adult that they never had as a child in these endeavors.. the feeling of being loved.. or connected with a person on a higher level.. it may be for some the closest they have ever felt as being loved.

    BUt ???... what is considered alot of men? I myself consider any woman that has over 10 partners in her life as alot.. but I also take into the account of the average per year.. if you average 2.2 men a year in a period f 5 eyars.. i dont really think that is a huge number.. but based on a five year period.. if a woman has been doing it 25 years.. and has 17 partners then i wouldnt consider her loosey goosey.. unless 8 of the men were in one year.

    what yall tink? :juggle: Im jsut tossin around some ideas..
  5. Sekhemu

    Sekhemu Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Maybe some women never achieve orgasm because they expect the man to always know how to make them have it. Perhaps they need to take more time to know about their own body.

    But I wonder, how can a woman think that having a steady succession of sex partners, equals being loved, I would think the opposite is true. What man is going to love a woman if he knows she's had sex with 10-15 guys in the last month?
  6. PoeticManifesta

    PoeticManifesta Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i have no clue.. as i am just speaking from the stories ive heard from my friends.. whos behavior is not approved upon by me... to me.. if the first 2 partners dont work out.. perhaps u should look within.. and complet yourself b4 u look for a man to complet you. causr it aint gunna happen sistah...




  7. Riada

    Riada Active Member MEMBER

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    I think there is one innate and deep reason why women continue to sleep with a string of men, risking her life (HIV) and other STD's with each encounter. The reason is that human beings have a strong need to connect with each other, feel accepted, and feel a part of something, and many women in particular have a strong desire for an emotional connection with a man. Many women also want men to validate that they are attractive and desirable. Some women want affection and love. Some do it to keep the man by any means. Some (young) women just want to be doing what other “cool” people do. Some women want sex, even if there is no orgasm, because as Poetica said, sex is still pleasureable without orgasm. Some want all of the above.

    I know we’ve all heard the saying that “Women trade sex for love and men trade love for sex.” Many women say all they wanted was a big hug from their man or husband and he interpreted that for her wanting to have sex. I’ve had this experience myself and have tried to figure out what it is about a hug that means sex to him. LOL!!

    According to some men I know, some men like to believe that women enjoy sex just as much because then the man doesn’t feel that he took advantage of a woman’s emotional vulnerability.
  8. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    If it's an issue of wanting love and acceptance, why do women who already have a man still go out and sleep with multiple partners?

    Though I admit the Maury show might not be the best reference, it still nonetheless has real people in these situations over and over again. Many of the women have good men that already loved them... some of them even take care of kids that they know aren't theirs. So why risk losing a man that truly loves you for a one night stand, especially if you're not orgasmic anyway? If it's just a sex thing it would seem to make more sense to communicate with your partner about what you need to make you happy. If he really loves you, he should oblige.
  9. Riada

    Riada Active Member MEMBER

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    Sista Karmashines, have you talked with some married women lately? They'll tell you that they don't feel loved, just needed by everybody, taken for granted, but not appreciated. Some feel like the "family slave" as one woman said to me recently. I guess some men sleep around for for the same reasons.

    As for telling your partner what you need sexually, things are not that simple. Suppose your husband partner of 10 years thinks oral sex for example is "nasty" and that might be just what you need to have an orgasm or it might be what you like as foreplay. Or maybe doing it doggy style stimulates your g-spot but he prefers the missionary position and won't compromise because he thinks that position is "strange" or only done to prostitutes. Yes, a man might love you but "love does not conquer all" as the saying goes and many men have sexual hangups too.
  10. Sekhemu

    Sekhemu Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This sounds like a classic case of people who are no longer compatible and need to be honest with themselves and go their seperate ways.

    I hear women talk about they cheated on their man because he no longer satisfies me. Well how about doing the grown up thing and leave the man.

    I'm not saying it's easy, but people need to stop making excuses and do the right thing.

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