Black Relationships : WHY ARE SISTERS SO BAD AT CHOOSING MEN?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by bigtown, Jul 15, 2004.

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  1. Akilles Banned

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    I won't buff you because you are a moderator and I ain't trying to break the rules.

    I am not calling anyone on this forum a whore nor did I say all women are whores, I didnt say women in a certain area are whores, nor did I say blackwomen are whores.

    So why jump all into my butt over me expressing my opinion?:tongue3:

    Dont use your authority to bully me from speaking my mind. :killpc:

    I have respect for women more than many have for themselves and my personal dealings has very little to do with me making my point.

    The bible describes what a good woman is and good women don't go sleeping around with thugs.

    Yes everyone makes mistakes but we are speaking toward a common social trend of black women or women in general who are attracted to guys who are no good and they know this from the begining. :look:

    Some of you like to sugar coat things just to fit in with the rest of the ducks. I quoted an Indian sage who said American women have the choice of being whores or goddesses.

    We live in a aquittorial society where you have to aquire the means to support yourself and men have the advantage. Men make more money than women and own more property and land and have higher positons in power.

    Women were forced or conditioned to find a man to marry who had something going in order for them to live their dreams and make it.

    Men had to court women by spending money on them like a whore.

    Women oftimes wouldn't marry the man with the most virtues but the most money and power! Same as a whore!

    In an aggressive society where nice guys finish last bad boys have all the best of everything. The drive the best cars, they run the show, they have all the money and therefore all the women.

    Just because women are independent now this has not changed. Western society still instills young girls to chase men with money and power. At a young age they are taught sex sells. Men are not interested in they minds but their bodies. So girls dress provacative to attract men with money and status.

    This is the whitemans society and the way he has made us into his clones.

    Now you weaklings of revolution want to fight the whitemans world but coward down to pissing on all of it. You only want to keep what you have and not risk anything and at the same time appear radical.

    Shame on you!



    God changes not a people condition until they change their thinking.
  2. Akilles Banned

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    Hocus Pocus Voo Doo!:laugh:
  3. Akilles Banned

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    You've watching to much Snoop Dogg videos maybe your stuck in the seventies like he is.

    A whore let me get my dictionary out.


    Main Entry: 1whore
    Pronunciation: 'hOr, 'hor, 'hur
    Function: noun
    Etymology: Middle English hore, from Old English hOre; akin to Old Norse hOra whore, hOrr adulterer, Latin carus dear -- more at CHARITY
    1 : a woman who engages in sexual acts for money : PROSTITUTE; also : a promiscuous or immoral woman


    You must not read all of your dictionary or maybe you one of them condensed version but it also says a promiscuous or immoral woman.
  4. Akilles Banned

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    The Proverbs 31 Woman Today


    Sometimes it seems that people have the opinion that the Biblical roles of women are narrow, confining and devaluing. Even among Christians, there is too often this notion that women must conform to one or two very specific, very limited roles. Some people have adopted a belief that a 'good Christian woman' must marry and have many children, be a stay-home-mother with little to no personal pursuits beyond meeting the needs of her family. Some people believe women have a supplementary rather than complimentary role to that of men. For what typically turn out to be purely self-serving motives, others have elected to believe that women should have no real rights, should be subjugated, silent and wholly reliant upon their spouses for all things. But what does the Bible tell us about the roles, rights and responsibilities of Christian women?
    I truly believe the idealized woman we read about in Proverbs 31 offers us a great amount of insight into the wealth of potential we all have as Christian women. These passages of scripture paint a beautiful portrait of a woman who has a wonderfully balanced life. Her spiritual life is on track. Her priorities are right. She is a woman of great character. She is smart, creative, confident and most importantly, Christ-centered.
    In verse 10 (MSG), we read, 'A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.' Right off the bat, the notion that women are in any way unvalued or undervalued in scripture is set on it's ear. In Proverbs 12:4, we are told that a wife of noble character is her husband's crown. A king proudly wears his crown high on his head for everyone to see just as a husband with a virtuous wife should want to elevate her and make her a focal point in his life. Proverbs 19:14 (NIV) tells us, 'Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.' In the Living Bible, prudent is translated as understanding. We should desire to be the kind of women our husband and others in our lives consider 'gifts' in their lives.
    In verses 11 and 12, we read that the Proverbs 31 woman is trustworthy and reliable, someone who can be counted on. She is a faithful and dependable companion, someone who genuinely invests herself in others. In the Amplified Bible, those verses read, 'The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of (honest) gain or need of (dishonest) spoil. She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.' She is never spiteful (verse 12/MSG). And she enriches the life of her husband (verse 11/NLT)...and the lives of others as well, no doubt.
    The Proverbs 31 woman is mindful of the needs of her family and others in her life. In verses 14 and 15 (NASB), we read, 'She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens.' She makes sure those in her care have their physical needs met, but she also works to satisfy the spiritual needs of her family. Verse 15 of the Amplified Bible says, 'She rises while it is yet night and gets (spiritual) food for her household...' Spiritual food could be everything from praying for her loved ones to teaching them about the Word to seeking how to better apply the Word to her own life, which would surely bless not only her, but her husband, children, extended family and friends.
    In the second part of verse 15, it says she organizes her day (MSG), assigns her maids their tasks (AMP). This isn't a woman who lives by the seat of her pants. She has a plan. She sets goals for herself...both short and long-term. She knows that delegating responsibilities to others is necessary for running an effective home. She isn't trying to do it all herself. She has help in accomplishing the tasks of daily living. Some of us may have hired help coming in while others of us may only be relying on the cooperation of our mates and children...but find a woman who is trying to do it all completely by herself and I am sure she will often be overtired, overstressed and often overwrought.
    Learning to be wise managers of our time and resources will help us considerably when it comes to being able to balance all the elements of daily life. Being effective supervisors of others will not only benefit us as women, freeing us up a bit and allowing us to accomplish more things more effectively, but it will also help us begin to equip those around us with the skills they need for their own lives. Training up a child in the way he should go (Proverbs 22:6) includes spiritual training as well as training for everyday living.
    Now let's look at verse 16. In the Amplified Bible, it reads, 'She considers a (new) field before she buys or accepts it (expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties); with her savings (of time and strength) she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard.' This verse says a lot. First, we find that the Proverbs 31 woman has some personal goals she pursues. She knows what she is looking for; she uses great consideration in inspecting the property she's looking at. She is able to aptly make a decision about purchasing this property with her own skills. She is competent and capable of making wise choices for herself and for the benefit of her family. She weighs the cost of things not only in dollars and cents but also in the personal cost.
    While you or I may or may not all be in the real estate market, we all have personal pursuits. Perhaps it is a career, a business, a hobby, an educational goal, but whatever it is that we invest ourselves in with our time, talents and funds, we must count the cost to our relationships and prior obligations. Just as the Proverbs 31 woman was careful not to neglect her present duties by assuming other duties, we too must be mindful not to put our relationship with Christ, marriages or children, financial obligations, fellowship with other believers, etc., on the back burner while we go after new things. It doesn't mean we cannot have these kinds of personal pursuits. We just must be diligent about keeping our priorities in order and not neglecting the things in our lives that demand continual, purposeful attention.
    Secondly, in verse 16, we see that the Proverbs 31 woman can think and do for herself. Because she has proven herself a trustworthy and responsible person, she has much leeway in making big decisions on her own. Her husband doesn't lord over her, watching her every move, checking up on her activities, second guessing her choices because she has proven herself competent and capable. If you have a husband who has proven himself competent and capable, reliable and trustworthy, then you know you can count on him to use wise judgment, to put the well-being of his family above his own personal objectives. It's the same way for us as women. If I have been sneaky or a chronic overspender, if I have been unfaithful or continually made poor choices, well then, it's not likely that my spouse is going to have much confidence in me. When a Christian couple has true faith in one another, confidence in the abilities and skills of each other, then they won't need a blow-by-blow accounting of every single detail of daily decision making.
    Not all couple are to the point where they can fully trust one another...perhaps rightfully so...but as we prove ourselves competent, capable, trustworthy and reliable, our mates will gain confidence in us and we in them. And know that sometimes past events and even personal failures will cloud or taint our or our mates ability to feel completely comfortable leaving decisions to just one person in a marriage. If this is your situation, stay prayerful about your circumstances and continue to offer evidence to your mate of your abilities. Remember that love is patient, hopeful and persevering. (1 Corinthians 13:4, 7)
    The next thing we see about the Proverbs 31 woman is she is fit for both spiritual things and daily living. The New Living Translation says, 'she is energetic and strong, a hard worker.' The New American Standard Bible says, 'she girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong.' And the Amplified Bible says, 'She girds herself with strength (spiritual, mental and physical fitness for her God-given task) and makes her arms strong and firm.' Romans 12:11 tells us to, 'never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.' And 1 Timothy 4:11 tells us to, '...spend (our) time and energy in the exercise of keeping spiritually fit.' The Proverbs 31 woman always keeps God in the forefront of her life. Living to please Him and do His will are paramount to her, just as they should be for us today.
    In verse 18, we see that the Proverbs 31 woman is conscientious and persistent about what she does. The Message translation says, 'She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.' This isn't a woman who halfheartedly gives herself to her efforts. She knows what she is doing is valuable, and she is determined to see her work through. Whether we are mothers, nurses, wait staff, teachers, custodians, cashiers, doctors or whatever we each are, we need to discover and appreciate the importance and value of what we do. We need to, 'taste and see that (our) gain from work (with and for God) is good...' (verse 18 AMP).
    The Proverbs 31 woman is also one who reaches out to those in need around her. In verse 20 (NLT), we read, 'she extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy.' '...She reaches out her filled hands to the needy (whether in body, mind, or spirit).' (verse 20 AMP) This is something we are all called to do as Christians. Romans 12:13 (LB) says, 'When God's children are in need, you be the one to help them out.'
    There is a domestic element to the Proverbs 31 woman, just as I am sure there is in all of our lives regardless of the other various things we all have going on. Whether married or single, with or without children, whether you work in or out of the home, we all have household responsibilities. In verse 19 (MSG), we read, 'She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking.' She thinks ahead to make sure her family has everything they need. Verse 21 (MSG) says, 'She doesn't worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.' While we all may not make our own clothing by hand, we do have the responsibility to make sure our family is ready no matter what the season. She makes sure her family has all the provisions needed, just as we still do today when we grocery shop, buy new shoes and coats, do laundry or whatever the necessary task may be.
    We see a creative side of the Proverbs 31 woman in verse 24. The Message Bible says, 'She designs gowns and sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shop.' In the Amplified Bible, it says 'she leads others to buy what she makes'. This shows an entrepreneurial element to her as well. Being creative and/or having a mind for business are God-given gifts that we shouldn't hesitate to use as Christian women.
    'Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices over the future (the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it)!' (verse 25 AMP). This is speaking to the character of the Proverbs 31 woman. She is a woman who is well regarded because her character...her actions and attitude...merit it. She knows who she is in Christ. She has confidence not only for her today but for her eternity. And because she has trained her children in the ways of God and set a good example for them, and because she knows she can stand on His promises for her family, she has confidence for their today and eternity as well. Isn't that the kind of hope and faith we all want? I know it is for me.
    The Proverbs 31 woman has also learned something that I personally struggle with...keeping a tight reign on her tongue. In the New American Standard Bible, verse 26 says, 'She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.' 'When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.' (MSG) 'She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness (giving counsel and instruction).' (AMP) She knows, 'the tongue has the power of life and death...'. (Proverbs 18:21 NIV) We are to keep a tight reign on our tongues too. 'Everything (we) do, whether in word or deed, (we are to) do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus...'. (Colossians 3:17 NIV) Controlling our tongue is likely a hurdle we all come to from time to time, but as Christian women, we need to strive to let every word that comes out of our mouths be pleasing to God.
    In verse 27, we also see that the Proverbs 31 woman knows how to manage her home and everyone in it. In the Message Bible, we read, 'She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive.' The Amplified Bible says, 'She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat.' This is a woman who really lives her life in line with the Word, keeping her mind and tongue in check with her spiritual knowledge and relationship with God. She expects her family to behave in ways that honor God as well.
    The Proverbs 31 woman gives us an exemplary insight into the roles, rights and responsibilities of Christian women. She opens the door to all we can be in Christ. By no means do we find a subjugated, demoralized, undervalued, emotionally crippled woman in her. Instead, we discover a woman who balances the details and demands of daily living with healthy relationships, personal goals and most importantly, a desire to live her entire life in the Light, focused on God, Christlike in all she does. She is strong both spiritually and physically, equipped and willing to serve others and satisfied with her position in life. Because of all these things, 'her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her husband boasts of and praises her...'. (verse 28 AMP) Her husband tells her, ' "There are many virtuous and capable women in the woman, but you surpass them all!" ' (verse 29 NLT) That kind of praise from our husbands...or other significant people in our lives such as parents or mentors...is incredible to have for sure!
    But the aspect of the Proverbs 31 woman that is most important, most valuable, most praiseworthy is her committed relationship to the Lord. Verses 30 and 31 in the Message Bible read, 'Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God. Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!' In the Amplified Bible, it reads, 'Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain (because it is not lasting), but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised! Give her of the fruits of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates (of the city).' Of all the things in her life, her relationship with Christ is what makes her the woman she is. Of all the things in our lives, it is our personal, intimate relationships with Jesus that will make us the women we were created to be.
    Putting Christ first in our hearts and lives is the absolute first step to getting everything else in order. We will not be able to have the family life we desire, to achieve our personal goals, to find true and lasting happiness in our marriages, to manage our homes and calendars, to get our finances in line....we will not be able to get the rest of our priorities in order until the first priority is set.
    I am sure you have read some things in this message that already apply to your life. You probably possess many of the qualities of the Proverbs 31 woman to one degree or another already. Knowing that we all have the potential to become the 'ideal woman' should encourage us to keep pressing forward in our relationship with Jesus. It should increase our desire to know Him more intimately and prayerfully seek and actively live out His will for us.
    In Christian love & Standing on God's promises,
  5. Akilles Banned

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    Good women don't go sleeping around with no good men.

    I always question the background of women I date.

    Because there's no such thing as a no good woman because she was made no good by a no good man.

    DONT GIVE IT UP TO A NO GOOD MAN AND THEN EXPECT TO BE NORMAL AFTER THAT!

    BECAUSE YOU FELT LIKE IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO FOR THE MOMENT OR WHAT THE HELL MEN SLEEP WITH ANYBODY.
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