1. I can't reach my licence unless you hold my beer. 2.. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realise my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 5. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. 6. I pay your salary! 7. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 8. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are 9. When the officer says 'Gee. Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?' You probably shouldn't respond with,'Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?'