Black Relationships : Sistahs: What Do White Men Have That We Don't Have Thats So Compelling To You?

Well, to answer your question...

My father -I don't know his mother, because quite frankly I don't know him. He walked away from my mother and I, when I was 2-years-old and never looked back. Just two years ago, I spoke to an older brother of mine for the first time in 17-years. My father's son - a Jr. and all. He came back into my life and stole $600 from me and my boyfriend. I don't speak to him anymore.

My uncle - yes, he has a mother and a father. We call them the King and Queen of our family. They live in a suburb - somewhat of a sickening, picture perfect town in NJ. His excuse or reasoning for being a heroin addict, or a thief, or an adulterer? I couldn't tell you. I don't know where he learned such behavior from.

My step father and youngest sister's biological father - his parents are divorced. Dad was in the air force, his mother a doctor. My step father was also in the air force. After 10 years of marriage between my mother and him - domestic violence, alcoholism, and drug addiction led my mother to divorce him. He now is one of those prosperous black men I talked about, making over $100,000 a year, single, and a crackhead. Just a few years ago he took my mother to court to have his child support lowered, because my mother is a prosperous and successful black woman herself, so he felt there was no reason for him to have to pay as much as he does. He sees my 15-year-old sister once every month.

My ex-boyfriend and father of my unborn son - he has a dead beat dad that lives less than 10 minutes away from him. A reformed crack head mother. But he was raised by both of his loving grandparents, in a house, on a decent street in my city. Why he turned to selling drugs and whoring himself out, I don't know.


According to omowalejabali, I simply attracted these men Please. I could write a memoir about the sorry black men I've come in contact with. Cause you better believe, it doesn't stop there. I got some scenerios people thought they could only see in movies. As do many other black women. And the experience(s) I have with the two white men that have been in my life, have been positive. So again, don't knock me or judge me for having an opinion like the one I have.

You simply are in self-denial. And its obviously something that is generational. If you are unmarried and have an unborn son that says something about not only the type of men you attract but also the choices that you have made.

For one, having a child out of marriage.

I can go on but dont think its necessary.

A large percentage of those "millions" of black women you speak of that are in similar situations are also in those situations as a matter of their own choice and must deal with the consequences of those choices.

Dont blame black men because you decide to have sex without protection ie birth control and then are left having to raise another black child on your own without support. You made the decision to have sex outside of marriage and who to have sexual relations with.

i feel bad for you.....

with a background like that i can understand why you would have an attitude. i feel sorry for you. there is so much pain.
do you believe that your world could be better in the future? do you still have hope?

there are other people out there who are living a nicer life. there are people right here who are living a positive life.
do you want to be friends with us or do you want to just cuss at us?

what are YOUR needs?

And its amazing to see your ignorant self still talking out of your ***...and now getting a little personal don't you think?

You got the nerve to pass judgement on me? Wow, and to think you believe you have a right to even fix your brain, let alone your mouth, to question anyone about why they prefer one thing over another.

You don't know me. At all. You don't know if I had plans to be married, or if I was engaged, or if I was raped. You conveniently skirted around everything else I said, and went for the one individual that I could possibly attract, making your arguments/retorts seem more dense and idiotic. Do your research and notice this is the first time I'm mentioning my ex. Before I only spoke of my uncles, step fathers, etc and yet you still managed to conjure up that I attracted these men. And what's your excuse for the other MILLIONS of black women, who have had similar experiences under different circumstances? It's our fault, still, huh?

You're bordering pathetic my dude. You really are. For somebody so not offended by what I was saying, you sure are going that extra mile to disrespect me, clearly out of spite.

Thanks but no thanks. Let's can the cue cards, and not turn this into an intervention. My point of posting all of that was to show why I have the opinions that I do. Nothing more, nothing less.

Don't assume that every black woman that goes through things like this - while there are many of us (I wonder why...) - are all abandoned and left alone. I've had a beautiful life, in good thanks to God and my mother. A positive life with bumps in the road. I'm not going to sit here and name off all the great things that have happened to me, because that would make me appear to be just as pathetic as omowalejabali is making himself out to be.

But I will say that I am better off, mentally, physically, and financially than many people. Many.