anything that gives you pleasure can be used against you to control you. that is why it is important for one to have control over their pleasures.
Well - it's overdone in the media. It shouldn't be splattered about the way that it is. I think... sex is over-rated where the whole virginity thing is concerned. I waited. Lost my virginity. After I did it, I thought, "That's was it?" Not that it wasn't special. Just...everyone acts as if it's the end-all, be all. It was anti-climactic. Not quite the big deal that I was expecting. I enjoyed the closeness, though. Just didn't know what I was doing and didn't 'feel' anything close to enjoyment. My ex-fiance had a good decade on me and was way more experienced, thank God. So, it's not like he was fumbling around. He made the uncomfortable, very bearable. In time, I did come to REALLY enjoy the act. But, really -- the first few months? I could've been churning butter.... *laugh* Same difference. I came to understand that it wasn't so much that I held on to my 'precious virginity'. It was really all about me performing the act with someone who was special. Worth my time and body...AND having the maturity to make responsible decisions pertaining to sex/reproductive health. But, now? 10 years later? The act itself.... No. Sex isn't overrated. Sex is fun. F U N. ...and the number 2 reason as to why my fiance puts up with me and my sh...t (behind my cooking and sparkling personality). *smirk* So, no - sex isn't over-rated. You're just not doing it right. *laugh* I can help you out, though. I'm an RN who tends to double as a sex-therapist on some PRN work-nights....*laugh* You'd be amazed by the sorts of objects that folks manage to lodge up their rears...and vaginas. Electric toothbrushes, hair brushes..er, curling irons ... light-bulbs? 'Fruit' as well, which I've no issue with...but someone seriously needs to slap a warning label on, yes, lightbulbs...AND small round balls, i.e., 'For nonsexual recreational use only. Do not insert in Anus.' I mean - it's 'spherical'. There's nothing to grip. But - this is what happens when horny people don't plan ahead. "Ooh, let's do somethin' freaky! Look...a ball. *gasp* I got an idea - LET'S PUT IT IN MY BUTT!!!" *laugh* Yeah... It's all fun and games until someone needs emergency surgery....
It's not overrated.. it's underrated.. under-discussed and critically important for black communities. We need to be able to talk about Sex openly and honestly and publicly. One of the biggest crimes of western society has been the association of sex with the profane. Sex and Violence appear the same category.. as if their is some parity between the two. What can we do about teenage pregnancy if we can't talk about sex? How can we ask for responsible sexual behavior when we can't talk about sex without becoming uncomfortable? When AIDS hit, one the primary impediments to stopping the spread was the taboo space that sex occupied with black communities. now think about our history.. The Castration of black men by whites.. the raping of black women by whites.. the laws against interracial sex.. etc.. The Slave trade was as much about sex as it was about cotton.. but.. as my status message says, "One of the easiest ways to hide something from the people is to impose a moral order that labels it 'Profane'". My parents never said anything to me about sex.. other than don't do it. And for most of my friends it was the same way.. and the closedness about sex led to the devastation of very many families. If we treat it as a dirty little secret, then it will become dirty and narrow and secret.
Thank you brother you hit the nail on the head right there. I blame my mother for a lot issues that I had growing up regarding sex and boys. Had this issue not been taboo and still taboo in our community we can cut down on alot of unplanned pregnancy, disease and negative self image. A huge problem in this country is that we dont treat the whole body for wellness. The brain is a part of the body yet we act like mental illness doenst exist (in the black community) and the same goes for sex. Whether we choose to accept it or no sex plays a large part of health and wellness, both psychically and mentally. I plan to do the exact opposite of what our parents did James. When it comes to talking about sex with my kids, even though they are boys I still plan on having the talk with them by age 9 or 10 along with their father. If parents dont talk about it they will learn it from their friends who know just as little as they do.