I enjoyed the poem and share the Sistars expressed sentiments. I heard it from a perspective of the BEHAVIORS that she hates/rejects. I too reject/hate those BEHAVIORS. I also hate/reject them when they come from women. I hate/reject them when I see or experience myself doing them. I think it is healthy to express the 'good' and the 'bad' as it relates to BEHAVIORS. I hear people doing that all the time. Sometimes the focus is gender based, class based, and/or race based. I trust that that Sistar could equally pen a poem sharing the BEHAVIORS she loves/accepts...as could any of us. I myself, do not consider her a "man-hater". I heard a Sistar expressing BEHAVIORS she rejects. I trust we all hate or reject those BEHAVIORS. Healthy and Effective Communication involves the expression of a RANGE of ALL emotions we feel. M.E.
Thank You for Sharing. That is the WORK...."separating people from behaviors" because we have been programmed to believe that "people" are the 'problem' as opposed to the "problem" as the "problem". We then end up spending time attempting to solve the person vs. the problem... One thought.... "If women are the creators of life".... Women may be the creators of life yet not the creators of problem behaviors... Where do the problematic BEHAVIORS stem from:?: I have my take on that and it did/does not start with Women I do think it originates with that with the europeans incomplete energy...devoid of its female twin soul in the form of Yurugu..white male energy capable only of thought and behavior and absent of feelings. M.E.
Women may be the creators of life yet not the creators of problem behaviors Are the creators of problems the only ones that can solve them? It is my understanding that even though there are problems that are created for us, we have the ability to turn this thing around. We can re-create our present reality if we so choose. I think that the most intuitive amongst us have an even greater ability to problem solve. Where do the problematic BEHAVIORS stem from:?: I have my take on that and it did/does not start with Women. I do think it originates with that with the europeans incomplete energy...devoid of its female twin soul in the form of Yurugu..white male energy capable only of thought and behavior and absent of feelings I see this also as the origination of most (if not all) problems.
I am in favor of "the expression of a RANGE of ALL emotions we feel." or otherwise stated, I am in favor of both a left-brained and right-brained analysis of our problems.
but nobody makes poems about themselves entitled 'Why I hate me' or about their respective groups, like a black women making a poem called 'why I hate black women' - that would be looked upon as odd and self-hating. So if she hates these behaviors if herself, why does it make her angrier that they are reflected in men? She should accept them in men as well as she accepts them within herself. But if she doesn't accept them in herself, then why the focus on not accepting them in men? Does she perceive herself as better than men because she doesn't exhibit any of these behaviors that she says just about all men manifest? Or does she perceive of herself as better because she manifest these behaviors in herself, but think they are different when men manifest them? Sometimes when a mirror is presented on someone else, the reflection is not on the person you are mirroring, but yourself. I do believe I demonstrated that in another thread when someone tried to hold up a mirror to me and himself was reflected back. Charo says she hates egotistical men - but she herself is being egotistical if her focus of behavior is just on men and not of herself for likely enabling these behavior she finds spiteful (which was what I was thinking as I read it). Either she exhibits much of the same behavior or she enables it, but it's easier to put the negative focus away from self. I don't think many of us understand the behaviors of men or why they have them, which makes it all the frustrating. But many of us don't even understand our own behavior, and THAT'S why we can't understand the behavior of men. And believe, they do communicate a little or a lot differently than women, but it's not that hard to figure out. Lets look at some of the behaviors she 'hates' and decipher them cheating men - all men don't cheat. Those that do are not able to say they aren't ready for a monogamous relationship, even if they think they are because they like/love the woman. There are different types of cheaters - you need to get to the bottom of which one got or you'll to attract the wrong type of cheaters - and cheating is cheating but types makes a difference if you not going to find one that doesn't cheat at all. never-say-thank-you men - men that you taking you for granted. And why not? Women themselves believe they have 'roles' fulfill by their natural occurance of being women.... so if this is something you are suppose to do naturally.... why does anyone need to offer you gratitude? And men think that if they say 'thank you' once for something you are suppose to be doing anyway... then you'll want it all the time... for the same things you are suppose to be doing. empty promises men - if they love you they will promise you the world... that doesn't mean they will able to deliver. If they want to get into your pants, they will promise you many things... and lie because they seek not to change. When he promises something to you - be realistic and have the forethought to see if he can really carry it through. If you don't think he can - ASK AND TALK TO HIM. If he promising things to get sex.... realize it for the lie it is and don't expect promises to be filled that are made on sex. Call only when they need something men - apparently this is a guy that doesn't live with her. First, has a distinction been made between friends-with-benefits and an actual relationship? Because I'm finding that a lot of men think they are in FWB's and women think they are in relationships with the same guy. A guy that believes he is in an FWB will only call when he needs something. A guy in a relationship will call you for much of the reasons you want to be called. Again, part of this is women thinking that sex leads to a relationship and not accepting that sex is just sex. Women need to more straight up. Miserable men - if misery does indeed love company then why are you surprised when he wants to bring you into it? Making twice our salary men - and this is a problem? Does girlfriend have a complex? Maybe she doesn't like this because often whomever makes the more money is whomever controls the household, and she doesn't want a controlling man. And those are just a few examples. I'm not an expert on anyone or anybody, but I know myself, and if you know or can analyze your own self and understand your own behavior, then you will understand others. I'd tell ol' girl and anyone else... check yourself at the door first before you start talking about what you hate in others - especially if this seems to a constant theme in what you attract.