Marry the Sistas! I'm new to the list and replied to 2 threads, but I just had to reply to this one too. I'm a Black woman who in a few weeks will retire at an early age from public school teaching and I will retire making a salary of $73, 433 with a comprehensive benefits package, good pension, etc. for the rest of my life. So there are substantive jobs outside of the corporate area. I'm also married to a white man. He is a professional person. The point is that he stands to benefit greatly from my benefits just as I benefit from his assets and benefits. I would have much preferred to have a Black man in my life who could have been the one who benefitted, but the Black man who I had a relationship with before meeting my husband kept making excuses about making a marital commitment. Finally, he flat out told me that I was being old-fashioned about wanting to get married and that Black women these days don't want to get married and Black men don't have to marry us because there is a surplus of well-educated, upwardly-mobile Black women out there. He said this is the reason a lot of Black men don't marry Black women, that we are a dime a dozen. I thought it was a shame that he felt this way because all the women I know want to get married, even though they may not talk about it. There is nothing for a woman to gain by just keeping a man's bed warm because she can have a different man in her bed every night and she won't have to buy him a drink or take him out to dinner.If that's all she wants. Anyway, I didn't get angry or bitter from this experience. I mainly felt sad that a Black man like him--educated, accomplished, creative, etc. could be so far off track. I knew it would be his loss when I left because I know I'm a very desirable woman that many men would want. He claimed to love me but he chose to take me for granted. So, I exercised my options and I'm now with someone who literally does love kissing my brown booty and puts me on a pedestal. I think that a lot of brothas are counting on sistas being loyal to them forever, but forever is a long, lonely time. This is one reason why so many Black women of higher caliber are not having nearly as many children as lesser-equipped sistas--because we keep waiting and waiting for Mr. Right. By the time he comes along, the fibroids have destroyed our reproductive capacity. I would advise brothas to be the most productive, caring, loving, well-read, knowledgeable, assertive, spiritual people that you can be and women will want to be with you but at the same time know that women want a serious commitment--not just talk. The vast majority of those brothas with white or other women marry those women. Why should Black women settle for less? Shay14
Black men are not less... men who act in a doggish manner are. Also, don't you know that there are plenty of white men who won't marry their partners? Hell, one of my husband's friends recently had a baby with his girlfriend out of wedlock. Did he marry her? Nope. This is in contrast to a young black couple I know from my highschool who got married about a year ago. Attribute negative behaviors to the individual, not their race & gender.
This is coming from a Black woman THAT was married to a wonderful Black ex-husband(so she says)-but STILL stereotype ALL BLACK MEN. BUT ALL WHITE MEN(even bad ones) GETS A PASS FROM HER!!! From her responses in this thread and/or another thread, by the way she phrases things(open to interpretation), she and her current husband had an affair while both still were married to their individual spouses.Until she clarify that, I will withdraw the allegation at that time. In another thread-I asked that question straight up to her, based on what she posted at the time that was open to intrepretation. so anyone cannot accuse me of bashing the sister for nothing. I may have missed her response in 'Why are Black women nicer to white men?' thread. I voluntarily left that thread and keeping my promise to stay out. UNLESS, (asking in a Chancellor Palpatine way), IS there a moderator or administrator that has the courage to give me permission to address it in that thread?
Sister Karmashines: Shay14 is either a troll or an extremely confused person. She has contradicted herself too many times to be taken seriously, I would ignore her posts!