Black Relationships : LADIES: A Question

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Kemetstry, Mar 1, 2009.

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    Kemetstry PREMIUM MEMBER

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    On another site, I challenged a female about her views on romance. So she put me to the test and took a survey. Only to find out I was right. Guys think about love, romance and intimacy waaaaaay different than dolls.

    Question: Were you raised to view romance in a fairy tale/harlequin novel kinda way? Where the one/ prince charming/ your soulmate will come into your life and make you happy?
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    $$RICH$$ Administrator

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    Now i gotta hear this one from the ladies !!!
  1. asimplepoet Well-Known Member

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    I was raised with the view that you go make it happen for yourself first. Get yourself together first and then through the law of attraction you wull attract that which you are putting out there. My parents bought me up on the concept of women being helpmate. So she's got to bring something to the table to add to the man and not take away. However over the course of the years I have learned this isn't the popular view
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    mizjoice PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I was raised by a very disillusioned mother who had gone thru a very bitter divorce. She strongly emphasized independence and having your own. In a converse way, this prevented any of my early relationships from succeeding--because at the first sign of discord, I was out of there. It took a while to learn how to work thru disharmony to resolution......a lesson that only true love teaches.

    Ironically enough, my mom married the husband she was meant to have in her 50's, after many lessons learned. (So I remain hopeful!)

    There is always much talk about woman buying into the fairy tale, given to us by popular media, and mothers. But I am more interested in knowing ('cause really I don't know!)--what are men told about what romantic expectations to have? Do men believe in such a thing as a "soulmate"? Please be honest about this: are men nurtured (by men) to pursue sex instead of love?
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    I was pretty much told by a woman how to be romantic , so i learn romancing is the second part to a healthy
    relationship, my hearts expectation is high, I was never nutured to the sexual side but to love.
    I also learn before loving you have to seek within the mind and soul of a mate whole beings
    spiritually / mentally / morally / physically .
    Pursue love : Sex is lust or a passion but for me. I need a soulmate to share my all
    in a passionate means so it's not an act of lust or passion but the moment of sharing love sensually
    Sex fall short to what is first and comes in dead last when it comes to true love
    but sex can be the factor to continue in a quest to love when one have to wait a life time to get !