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It Ain't All Bad

Discussion in 'Black Men - Brothers - Warriors' started by river, Apr 9, 2006.

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cursed heart New Member

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SAMURAI36 said:

HERU NEFER EN SHEQHETI:

Despite the consensus, I am indeed well aware of how some of my (I cannot hold verdict for no one else's perspectives here, even though they might mirror mine; besides, I've a feeling that much of this was meant to be directed to me just the same) statements might be perceived on here.

For the longest time, it was a battle for me, to even post some of my perspectives about my personal life, not only because the negative connotation that could be construed from it, but also because of the pain it brings me all the more.

Regarding your emboldened statement above, I humbly thank you. It is for you, and Sisters like you on here, and in the world at large, that I continue this struggle--both internal and external--of mine.

However, I've found that there are an abundance of Sisters of your ilk on-line, but hardly ever in the linear world. If there were, then I would not feel the need to relocate in order to connect with them. That is the external struggle that I speak of.

However, and as always, it is the internal struggle that bears the greatest weight resting upon it........It manifests as the conundrum that I face on a daily basis; the one where I'm constantly having to balance that aspects of my spiritual path that are very effective for me, against those aspects that are not.

Would, that my spirituality could manifest the kind of women in my life that I would prefer, but alas, this falls into the latter category (the failing aspects of my spirituality).

You and the ladies here like you, give me hope to keep struggling, especially against what seems to be insurmountable odds. However, when I log off from here, I'm am smacked with the irrefutable reality :driveby: that not even some of this world we live in, is even remotely like you.

Thus, everyday (or every other day) I return here, where I dream, imagine, and even fantasize ( ) about you, and the other Sisters here like you.

God, I feel like that poor kid, who never had a date in high school, so he runs home everyday :run: to his room and pulls out his "nudey books", because he feels like that's his only option.

I really wish that some of you could walk with me for just a day. That way, you would see that #1) I am not imagining or making up the things I share here, and #2) I am truly doing everything I can, physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and socially to correct my predicament.

However, in the meantime, and since that's not possible, I suppose the one thing I above others have been asking for with regard to this, is a bit more understanding. I listen to the stories and testimonies that some of the other Brothers here have, about how good their lady(s) is/are to them, and how Sisters are the greatest thing in this world, since Rice Milk.....I really do wish that I could have similar stories to share with you all, but in (my) reality.............I don't. The reality for me, is that the only such story I can share about such a Black woman, who had shown me unconditional understanding, patience, encouragement, and love, has already returned to the Essence.

I don't share my experiences and concerns, albeit negative, for the purpose of villifying Black women, and certainly not to make the awesome Sisters here feel bad. Most of the time, my intent behind my sharing is for the purpose of learning, so that I can better my predicament. That's why most of my statements are laced with questions. Also, I'm looking to relate to others, who may have gone through what I have, so that I no longer feel alienated from this.

However, it seems that this is mostly for naught, as not only do most people here lack the patience, understanding, and overall interest in me or my situation, but also because I myself have been villified as a result of my sharing. I have attracted all sorts of attributes from people here, such as "skurred", bitter, a whiner, a "skaredy-cat", depressed, insecure, and even having my manhood brought into question.

As none of this was nor is accurate, all these false names do is cause me to have even further disinterest in wanting to correct this problem, as I'm a firm adherant that the correction of a problem should not be the cause of more problems.

The Brother Elder has instructed me that "letting it go" is perhaps the best option, and in doing, perhaps discussing it (neither here or in general) might not be the best option for all parties involved. Upon my first visitation of this site, I had always had trepidation with visiting the Relationship section, for this very reason. I think it's best, that I only stay within the perameters of the Spiritual, Cultural, and Health sections here, as those were the sections that drew me here to begin with.

In the meantime, I suppose the only option I have, is to continue seeking solutions internally, as I wrestle with my idealistic view of how I venerate the Black woman in my mind and heart, and my harsh reality, of how she treats me in such a manner that contradicts how I envision her to be.

PEACE

Hopefully chicago will be your turning point.

BEAUTIFUL DREAMER

cursed heart, Apr 10, 2006

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Isaiah New Member

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river said:

Brothas,

Both the brotha's and the sista's forums are filled with your angst and disatisfaction with Black women. Much of what I am reading leaves me totally discomboberated.

When a sista gave her laundry list of losers she had dated she was told that if she had the proper spiritual foundation and attitude she would not attract such men. How many of you are prepared to apply that same verdict to yourselves? What are you doing that attracts all the Mookieshas? Do you think a positive minded sista is going to be attracted to your negaive attitude?

I am left thinking man, your persona in real life must be totally different from the one here on Destee. On Destee you are kings, gods, warriors, teachers. Some of us sistas, myself included, would move heaven and earth just to sit at your feet and absorb the wisdom of your words. I'm not exaggerating in the least. If you are as awesome in the real world as you are here then you ought to get the same results. I mean, I can understand we all meet a few losers in our lives, but some of y'all are ready to write off entire cities and continents as bereft of any woman who suits you.

We are the queens, the shequetis, the goddesses, If your beef is not with us then why dump on us the negativity you find out on the street? Don't you have any friends on your block? They know about Mookiesha so talk to them about it. or have a for men only forum where you can go and regurgitate on each other.

Sister River, let me kiss yo @#$%, and say you're right on with this post...

END OF STORY...

Peace!
Isaiah

MASK NO TRUTHS...TELL NO LIES...AND CLAIM NO EASY VICTORIES!

Isaiah, Apr 10, 2006

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Isaiah New Member

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SAMURAI36 said:

However, I've found that there are an abundance of Sisters of your ilk on-line, but hardly ever in the linear world. If there were, then I would not feel the need to relocate in order to connect with them. That is the external struggle that I speak of.
PEACE

Brother Sam, upon this statement I cannot find disagreement... The group of sisters at Destee's is a pretty select group of women... Perhaps, that is where the dissonance comes in between men and women at Destees... Oft, we are imputing the blame for the behaviour of the average women we meet in the world outside of this forum, upon these sisters, and they are saying, "what in hell are these brothers talking about?"

The same is true of us brothers at this forum... We are NOT the average brother in America... We are a pretty serious group of men, where many of our brothers are not... THOSE facts about us here at this forum, makes it all the more painful to me that we cannot communicate more successfully and harmoniously with our sisters, because we are actually VERY COMPATIBLE with this group of African women... Go Figure...

Peace!
Isaiah

MASK NO TRUTHS...TELL NO LIES...AND CLAIM NO EASY VICTORIES!

Isaiah, Apr 10, 2006

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jamesfrmphilly PREMIUM MEMBER

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i met a young sister on the subway stop yesterday.
i just wanted to see if i could still do it.

she was a journalism major and ran track. she was built and had a brain.
she told me she had an aunkh ring just like the one i was wearing. she said one of her grandparents was egyptian. we talked.
i left her with my card and told her she could redeem it for a good meal and a bottle of wine at the restaurant of her choice.

this is to say that it can be done.

keep hope alive!

jamesfrmphilly, Apr 10, 2006

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SAMURAI36 New Member

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Isaiah said:

Brother Sam, upon this statement I cannot find disagreement... The group of sisters at Destee's is a pretty select group of women... Perhaps, that is where the dissonance comes in between men and women at Destees... Oft, we are imputing the blame for the behaviour of the average women we meet in the world outside of this forum, upon these sisters, and they are saying, "what in hell are these brothers talking about?"

The same is true of us brothers at this forum... We are NOT the average brother in America... We are a pretty serious group of men, where many of our brothers are not... THOSE facts about us here at this forum, makes it all the more painful to me that we cannot communicate more successfully and harmoniously with our sisters, because we are actually VERY COMPATIBLE with this group of African women... Go Figure...

Peace!
Isaiah

True indeed, My Brother. I had thought that it was a given that I am not, nor would not speak about our Sisters here, when I share my misfortunes here. I am truly sorry that it has somehow been (mis)translated into any notion that when I do speak, it is about our Sisters here, as well as those at large.

SAMURAI36, Apr 10, 2006

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