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Black Relationships : HOW TO LOVE A BLACK MAN... LET ME COUNT THE WAYS

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by free2b_me, Nov 20, 2008.

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  1. free2b_me

    free2b_me Member MEMBER

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    Here we go...
    Im new here on Destee, and I've been reading some and posting on some threads about relationships and I would like to know from the Brotha's, How do you want to be loved? How can a woman show you love and make you move mountains to please her in return? We all want to know and I came up with a few things the book "How to Love A Black Man" and please feel Free2b you and add to this list.

    Appreciated - Do not let the day go by, without showing him you appreciate the things he do for you....

    Give him time to process his emotions and understand yours - One of the greatest things you can do for a black man is give him time. He needs alot of it too. He needs to figure out his own feelings before he can make sense of them. The more intense the feelings the more time it will take for him to know how to express and to share them. That's where your patience comes in ..

    Dont Require to have all your needs be met by just him - The black man in your life may try for a while to be your only source of life support, but you'll end up with a lot of unfulfilled needs and he'll end up with a secret urge for a vacation away from you..

    Learn to appreciate his "I love you" language - Black men have their own unique "language." It's not so much verbal as it is ACTION.... Men speak volumes of love by things they do rather than what they say. If your not trained to "hear" his language, you'll miss out on all the heartfelt "I love you" messages he's constantly sending you..

    Remind him often of why you LOVE him - God knows, you've got your reasons for loving the black man in your life, but does he know it?? I mean really know-not suspect, hope, or assume? Is it his strong but gentle nurturing spirit? His one in a million outer package and xtra-ordinary sensuality? His determination? Patience? That Colgate smile? That chisled body, umm hmm.. Any of these, you need to remind of him of those things.

    Dont be so hard on the Brotha's - I know that you may have a tendancy to be hard on Brotha's that you feel may not be what you are looking for in a mate. The more you stop holding unrealistic expectations of who men are in general and who he is in particular, the more you can avoid frustration and disappointment. Both of which can sabotage what may be, realistically speaking, a good relationship with one who is, a pretty decent Black man..


    I have listed somethings that a women can show her sincere appreciation for the Black Man and Love him in a way that he needs love.. Sometimes, we dont speak the same language but maybe this can shed some light on what Men Truly Need in a loving relationship with a Women. Please join in the list of telling us what you need, or how can we Love you Black Man.. This not the COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT! Positive feedback is appreciated.
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  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Administrator STAFF

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    Surely i'll be back to share the needs that will make me move the world for her !
    give me a moment.
  3. free2b_me

    free2b_me Member MEMBER

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    Ok, so nobody has any comments or anything to add to this list?? Brotha's, can you help a sista out here? We wanna know how to love you:heart:.. Well maybe we should invite some sista's in here to tell us how they love the Black Men in there lives.. What do you do to show your Black Man Love?? I know that there is such a stigma concerning the Black Man and Black Womans' Relationship, I thought it would be interesting to establish some dialoge. Unless, of course this has already been done, or you just dont know what it is to be loved:hearts1:???..

    Well, I will say this, for my man, what is really important for us is to have a friendship and rock solid communication. I feel that, the friendship part keeps us connected to moret than just sex(although that is just as important) Also, if we can talk, problems can be more readily resolved. I have alot of patience when it comes to the Black Man period. I have a great understanding that he is not perfect. I know that he will fall short on most things, probably because he didnt learn that part from previous relationships, even though he's been with a lot of women. We expect our men to be programmed with the "HOW TO LOVE A BLACK WOMAN" manual! They haven't, so we must be patient with them I know.. :heart: Men need love too, even with their hard exterior, and caveman style.... :yesno:
  4. Astrologer4U

    Astrologer4U Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I don't know how to be patient so what is a woman like me to do? I feel like I come into a relationship not willing to play games so to me, if a man takes up to much time responding, it pisses me off and I lose interest. Do all men require what has been stated in the above initial post #1?

    Or, do some men like a more agressive type woman? I can be less agressive, it is just that I am more agressive until I know where I stand with a man. Once I am secure about him, I can calm down. Any way, any men out there, please answer the above portion I went out of my way to make sure you would notice...Thanks in advance...

    Free2beme, you... I am sure, would like to add your input and I would appreciate that as well.


    Thanks


    Astrologer4U
  5. free2b_me

    free2b_me Member MEMBER

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    Im no Dr Ruth but I think men enjoy assertiveness in a woman. No agression, is necessary. They love the hunt of a woman. Displaying agressive behavior in the begining before he has a chance process his feeling about you, might make him feel challenged or defensive. After all he is the man. I think it is great to assert yourself, that shows him that you know what you want. Yes, you need tons of patience with most men. I believe you should take your time to get to know each other, whats the rush anyway? I think you should allow for a man to show his interest in you, then you assert what you want (which is him) afterwards.... Well, I also believe that every man is different and it is not a requirement to meet all those needs that I posted, it's just information that you can take and apply it to show your Black Man some Love in a way that a man can understand and appreciate.. If we can get more feedback from the brotha's then you will get it from the source..:kiss1:
    That's why I started this thread..

    Check out my other thread I started, HOW TO LOVE A BLACK WOMAN... :deal:You can tell them how you want to be loved!:smooch:

    Goodluck sis and calm down:whip: LOL

    free2b me:luvv:
  6. sweet apple*pie

    sweet apple*pie Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hey Guuurrl!

    Hey, I will be back thru here tommorow to comment on this....ima little sleepy at the moment, and I want to be sharp when I comment.



    Be Back!
  7. Jahari Kavi

    Jahari Kavi Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I personally have always found it attractive. A woman who is not afraid to make the first move, gives me the impression that she's open to communicate her feelings to me, unlike certain females.....it also makes me feel appreciated and valued (which I think most men don't get enough of). If it's one thing I can't stand, it's when I feel like a woman doesn't value me the same way I value her.....and the entire "rejection" thing is hyped up far too much by women.....Real talk if you got an above average head on your shoulders, look decent, and practice good hygiene then you have no need to worry about being rejected by a man.
  8. Astrologer4U

    Astrologer4U Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Jahari, now you know that I know where your planets are. Most of your planets are in feminine signs. This is why you wouldn't mind a woman being more agressive. This is the problem I would have with a man like you though, you wouldn't be agressive enough for me. You would let me completely take over, you would let me 'wear the pants, always'.

    I like that role from time to time 'wearing the pants' but my rising sign is Gemini, I need to be able to know tha I can down shift and come back into my not so agressive mode if I feel like it. I can't feel as though if I get soft, you will stay soft instead of. I gotta go back and double check your planets to see if you had at least one Masculine sign, if you do, there might be some hope that you can bounce back and foward in the roles. However, from what you stated in another thread, I don't think you would be up for it.


    Sister

    Astrologer4U
  9. Astrologer4U

    Astrologer4U Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yes Free, a male just posted and I got his opinion on a aggresive type women. Also, I will go and look at the other thread on black woman. However, I am sure a lot of things average about how a black woman is, do not apply to me at all. I am so different from most and this is what keeps me spending many of my nights alone...LOL By choice that is. I could easily pretend to be a certain way just to keep a man around, but for me, it is never that serious. I have to many good male friends I can kick it with. After all, male friends and good company is more important to me, than a roll in the hay. Particualrly, if I have to pretend to be or supress being who I am in order to get that roll in the hay.


    Sister

    Astrologer4U
  10. Clyde C Coger Jr

    Clyde C Coger Jr Clyde C. Coger, Jr. PREMIUM MEMBER

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    free2b me,

    Allow some time for men to respond :). We are not as quick as the ladies are about diving into something. Unfortunately, the sense of urgency for manly replies urged the ladies to step forward. At this point, not many men will participate now, in my view.

    This is what I bring to add to your list in the way that men would like for their women to love them. I desire only a small thing, the truth. Truth from my lady does it all for me. Truth sets the stage for deeper love. Truth clears the air on everything, just be truthful. If you love me, be truthful about it. The truth sets me on fire, it enables me to stretch. It is the thing the excites me, tremendously. I am a truth seeker. I don’t mean to bore you with the truth, but you asked, and I am simply telling you the truth.

    So, the truth, at least to me, is very important, it is the most significant and integral half of the relationship. Just give me a truthful woman. Sorry if I bored you :).

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