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Black Relationships : He didn't put his hand on my lap he put it in my lap, lol!

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by rapunzal24, Dec 16, 2011.

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  1.  
    rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    So, I went on a date earlier tonight, we went to see the Muppets. He didn't want to see it, I could tell, but ask and you shall receive. He asked me what I wanted to see and I told him. Anywho, we were sitting in the theater and he put his hand on my lap, by this I mean he touched my leg right above my knee, no biggee to me. Then he slid his hand between my legs, it was still right above the knee maybe 3 inches north. I about jumped out of my chair, lol!! He immediately removed his hand and about 5 minutes later he turned to me and said, I am sorry if that made you uncomfortable.
    I called my girl tonight and told her what happened, she said I should never see the dude again, because what dude does that on the second date unless he is looking for the nookie, and that is it. So, I am asking the fellas, do you think this is true? Is this dude demented or something? Is he just looking for the nookie. I don't think so, but it does make me a little leary of him, but I have been called a prude.
    Ladies, what would you do? After the date, it was so awkward that I didn't even give him a hug I just smiled and held my coat and said "thanks for the nice time", who says that? I enjoy his conversation, and he seemed like a level headed guy. I am sincerely unsure, what would you do?
     
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    skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    Peace Rapunzal24,

    take it as a given that he wants the "nookie".. as you call it.. and have a direct conversation about what happened and see how he reacts. There's nothing wrong with a man wanting sex. It's biological.. but hands are not sexual organs.. and muppets movies should not be an aphrodisiac.. You might want to see if he has a muppet fetish.. that could be creepy.. or not.. depending on how you roll..

    [​IMG]
     
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    Asomfwaa

    Asomfwaa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sister, I have been single for a minute, so I might have forgotten the female anatomy. But unless you need to tell us something about your height; how is three inches from the knees any thing to worry over? I can't quite connect this. You've have to be slightly taller than a Barbie doll for your knee to be three inches from the golden spot. Three-inches is about the size of a middle-finger. (Oh wow--I can see your middle finger.) :-p

    You know that I am just joking. :)

    As to the question--yes he's clearly after the golden spot. He's a creep. And you definitely should avoid him. When creep shows itself, run!

    Really, he should not be touching you at all.

    I am not too familiar with the minds of men, but many of us, in the West, study 'game' and 'technique' with women. That I am familiar with. So you can tell by his gestures that he's trying to play you. He is increasing body contact and testing to see what sort of woman you are. Now--how you respond tells your results for this test which is whether you are a trashy woman.

    You understand?

    What he did wasn't a gesture of respect, but a means of finding out--what you are down with.

    He'll be apologetic, certainly, or he'll shrug this off (He's playing a game!) if you don't respond, but either way, if you return to him, you are telling him that what he did was appropriate.

    You understand?

    Granted--you can want to just get laid too--and certainly this brother will want to lay you--however, you can tell just from that lack of respect that he's not even a good lay. Maybe he has a pipe--maybe--but the smoke won't itself be impressive. Trust me.

    Sister, all in all, you have to realize that this man won't even be a good partner. Not only does he not respect you, not only does he only see you as a sexual object--who in the world watches a crappy movie and doesn't want to get a reward--but he also sucks in bed.

    So, again: He won't be respectful, he won't see you as a full human, and he won't please you sexually.

    No you should not see him again.

    Hotep!
     
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    rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I don't think it was a crappy movie lol! You are saying the exact same thing my friend is saying, maybe he was just trying me out, I don't know. I have learned not to judge brothers by some of the first impressions because what I may view as inappropriate, he may not, for what ever reason. He didn't say, I will hit you up this week, like he did last time, maybe it is because of the reaction I gave. Other than this one move, he is not a bad guy, but I am sure that he got the message that I did not like it. On the first date we went to a coffehouse, listened to some spoken word, and he engaged me in a very fufilling conversation.

    No, he wasn't even close to the ill na na (yes, that is what I call it), it was just the fact that it was between the legs, it kind of caught me off guard. I am not looking to get laid, if I wanted that, I could have done that a while ago, guys are easy, no disrespect, but it doesn't take much for a woman to get laid. I will however take what you said into account, I am trying to get a feel for this. I will definitely call the big bro in the morning, he is a seasoned man, to be polite.
     
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    rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I hope the movie wasn't any aphrodisiac lol! Well, although hands aren't a sexual organ, they are where it begins, at least for me. I just hate to have that akward, uncomfortable conversation. I will, I just hate to do it. When we are outside the movie theater I felt like I should have done it then, (we drove seperate cars) but I was just trying to get the hell out of there. Is it even worth having that conversation, wasn't me jumping out of my seat enough of an indicator for him? What I want to do is give it one more date, if he calls again, and see how that goes. Somehow I feel like I might be sticking my head in the sand, then I convince myself that he got the message and maybe he will straighten up. My only thing is, did he get the message? He's an adult, jumping a good foot out of my chair when he did that should have sent the message....right?

    On another note, the bunny loving on each other is hilarious. LOL!
     
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    Asomfwaa

    Asomfwaa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Wait a moment--he only put his hands between your legs--but like literally between your legs--not figuratively between your legs?

    Ain't that something.

    It's too much too soon, IMO. But really--it's also kind of weird. I mean, I wasn't always single, but I don't remember no putting hands between legs. That's just different.

    Hands between legs. Ain't that a . . ..



    "Sorry Sis, Wouldn't let that happen to me though!"
     
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    rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Lol, no not figuratively, it was actually between the legs, but not close to the ill na na. I mean he wasn't caressing the thigh, but it was between both thighs. I do think it is too much to soon. I thought it was kind of weird, but I didn't want to over react.
     
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    Asomfwaa

    Asomfwaa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Just be careful. In this society, men attack women.

    Try to assess whether he is genuinely interested in rapunzal24.

    I say. Sometimes, with a woman, you just want to kiss her. But most of the times, men kiss women before that. We're being fake. The question is--did he want to touch you--because the situation required it--or did he just touch you--because you're a woman. It's obviously the latter. That should put in your mind that this man may well be a danger to you. Let's be realistic.

    Why? Because generically--men hate women in the West. Heck--women hate women. A Black man--meaning a dark-skinned man with a consciousness of African greatness/philosophy--doesn't hate women; but a man who happens to be Black does. Black women need to avoid the latter. Really.

    Hotep
     
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    legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    lol
     
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    rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I will have to disagree with you on this one, I know plenty of brothers who ain't on the black is beautiful train, but they don't hate woman. They don't hate themselves either, they are just living life, trying to make a dollar out of 15 cents. Women don't hate women, insecure women hate other women because they are lacking. You find that in every culture. I do understand what you are saying though, I will say that I don't think the brother would just take it, but you can never be too cautious. Which is why we met at the movies in a public spot, 'cause I don't know him like that. That is what makes it so weird, I haven't even kissed him on the cheek yet, it is only the second date. I am not going to over think this, but I will definitely take what you said into consideration if he gets up enough guts to call me and ask me out again. Especially since we left each other in the parking lot of the movie theater with an awkward stare, and me rushing to get in my car. I don't think he will, but if he does.....we'll see.
     
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