An old couple in Santo Domingo was puzzled when the coffin of their dead relative arrived from the USA. The corpse was so tightly squeezed inside the coffin that her face was practically touching the glass cover. When they opened the coffin, they found a letter pinned to her chest, which read: Dearest Mami y Papi, I am sending you Tia Adelfi's remains for the funeral in Santo Domingo Cemetary. Sorry I couldn't come along as the expenses were too high. You will find inside the coffin, under Tia's body: 12 cans of Bumble Bee Tuna 12 bottles of Paul Mitchell Shampoo and 12 bottles of Paul Mitchell Conditioner 12 Vaseline Intensive Care Skin Lotion 12 Colgate Toothpaste and 12 cans of Span. Just divide it among the family. On Tia's feet is a brand new pair of Reeboks (size 8) for Juan Pablo de Leon. There are four pairs of Reeboks under her head for Franklin's sons. Tia is waring six Ralph Lauren t-shirts one is for Robertito and the rest for his sons. Tia is also waring one dozen wonder bras (my favorite), just divide it among the ladies. The 2 dozen Victoria's Secret panties that she is wearing should be distributed among my nieces and cousins. Tia is also wearing eight Docker pants, please get one for yourself and the rest are for the boys. The Swiss watch you asked for is on Tia Adelfi's left wrist and she is also wearing what you aksed for (Mami's earrings, ring and necklace), just please get them before anyone arrives to view the body. Also, the six pairs fo Chanel stockings that she is wearing must be divided among the teen-age girls there. I hope the colors are to their liking. Your loving daughter, Altagracia P.S. Please find Tia a dress for her funeral.