We were doing the make up/break up thing for months. During one of the breaks she came back saying things would change. I asked her to do two things. Yes, they would require some effort, but they werent things she couldnt do. ( Ex. I'm not saying you're an alcoholic, but when you do drink. You become beligerent. So dont drink ) She agreed. The goal was, if she stuck to it, we would marry. Something told me, she wasnt up to the task. She would say anything to get back. I started dating others. She was bliss for three months. Then the signs started showing. Finally, I confronted her. She said, "This is who I am, deal with it!" Call it what you will. I hedged my bets. I didnt feel any guilt .