Black Relationships : He didn't put his hand on my lap he put it in my lap, lol!

rapunzal24

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Apr 2, 2011
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So, I went on a date earlier tonight, we went to see the Muppets. He didn't want to see it, I could tell, but ask and you shall receive. He asked me what I wanted to see and I told him. Anywho, we were sitting in the theater and he put his hand on my lap, by this I mean he touched my leg right above my knee, no biggee to me. Then he slid his hand between my legs, it was still right above the knee maybe 3 inches north. I about jumped out of my chair, lol!! He immediately removed his hand and about 5 minutes later he turned to me and said, I am sorry if that made you uncomfortable.
I called my girl tonight and told her what happened, she said I should never see the dude again, because what dude does that on the second date unless he is looking for the nookie, and that is it. So, I am asking the fellas, do you think this is true? Is this dude demented or something? Is he just looking for the nookie. I don't think so, but it does make me a little leary of him, but I have been called a prude.
Ladies, what would you do? After the date, it was so awkward that I didn't even give him a hug I just smiled and held my coat and said "thanks for the nice time", who says that? I enjoy his conversation, and he seemed like a level headed guy. I am sincerely unsure, what would you do?
 
Peace Rapunzal24,

take it as a given that he wants the "nookie".. as you call it.. and have a direct conversation about what happened and see how he reacts. There's nothing wrong with a man wanting sex. It's biological.. but hands are not sexual organs.. and muppets movies should not be an aphrodisiac.. You might want to see if he has a muppet fetish.. that could be creepy.. or not.. depending on how you roll..

kissy.gif
 
Sister, I have been single for a minute, so I might have forgotten the female anatomy. But unless you need to tell us something about your height; how is three inches from the knees any thing to worry over? I can't quite connect this. You've have to be slightly taller than a Barbie doll for your knee to be three inches from the golden spot. Three-inches is about the size of a middle-finger. (Oh wow--I can see your middle finger.) :-p

You know that I am just joking. :)

As to the question--yes he's clearly after the golden spot. He's a creep. And you definitely should avoid him. When creep shows itself, run!

Really, he should not be touching you at all.

I am not too familiar with the minds of men, but many of us, in the West, study 'game' and 'technique' with women. That I am familiar with. So you can tell by his gestures that he's trying to play you. He is increasing body contact and testing to see what sort of woman you are. Now--how you respond tells your results for this test which is whether you are a trashy woman.

You understand?

What he did wasn't a gesture of respect, but a means of finding out--what you are down with.

He'll be apologetic, certainly, or he'll shrug this off (He's playing a game!) if you don't respond, but either way, if you return to him, you are telling him that what he did was appropriate.

You understand?

Granted--you can want to just get laid too--and certainly this brother will want to lay you--however, you can tell just from that lack of respect that he's not even a good lay. Maybe he has a pipe--maybe--but the smoke won't itself be impressive. Trust me.

Sister, all in all, you have to realize that this man won't even be a good partner. Not only does he not respect you, not only does he only see you as a sexual object--who in the world watches a crappy movie and doesn't want to get a reward--but he also sucks in bed.

So, again: He won't be respectful, he won't see you as a full human, and he won't please you sexually.

No you should not see him again.

Hotep!
 
Sister, I have been single for a minute, so I might have forgotten the female anatomy. But unless you need to tell us something about your height; how is three inches from the knees any thing to worry over? I can't quite connect this. You've have to be slightly taller than a Barbie doll for your knee to be three inches from the golden spot. Three-inches is about the size of a middle-finger. (Oh wow--I can see your middle finger.) :-p

You know that I am just joking. :)

As to the question--yes he's clearly after the golden spot. He's a creep. And you definitely should avoid him. When creep shows itself, run!

Really, he should not be touching you at all.

I am not too familiar with the minds of men, but many of us, in the West, study 'game' and 'technique' with women. That I am familiar with. So you can tell by his gestures that he's trying to play you. He is increasing body contact and testing to see what sort of woman you are. Now--how you respond tells your results for this test which is whether you are a trashy woman.

You understand?

What he did wasn't a gesture of respect, but a means of finding out--what you are down with.

He'll be apologetic, certainly, or he'll shrug this off (He's playing a game!) if you don't respond, but either way, if you return to him, you are telling him that what he did was appropriate.

You understand?

Granted--you can want to just get laid too--and certainly this brother will want to lay you--however, you can tell just from that lack of respect that he's not even a good lay. Maybe he has a pipe--maybe--but the smoke won't itself be impressive. Trust me.

Sister, all in all, you have to realize that this man won't even be a good partner. Not only does he not respect you, not only does he only see you as a sexual object--who in the world watches a crappy movie and doesn't want to get a reward--but he also sucks in bed.

So, again: He won't be respectful, he won't see you as a full human, and he won't please you sexually.

No you should not see him again.

Hotep!
I don't think it was a crappy movie lol! You are saying the exact same thing my friend is saying, maybe he was just trying me out, I don't know. I have learned not to judge brothers by some of the first impressions because what I may view as inappropriate, he may not, for what ever reason. He didn't say, I will hit you up this week, like he did last time, maybe it is because of the reaction I gave. Other than this one move, he is not a bad guy, but I am sure that he got the message that I did not like it. On the first date we went to a coffehouse, listened to some spoken word, and he engaged me in a very fufilling conversation.

No, he wasn't even close to the ill na na (yes, that is what I call it), it was just the fact that it was between the legs, it kind of caught me off guard. I am not looking to get laid, if I wanted that, I could have done that a while ago, guys are easy, no disrespect, but it doesn't take much for a woman to get laid. I will however take what you said into account, I am trying to get a feel for this. I will definitely call the big bro in the morning, he is a seasoned man, to be polite.
 
Peace Rapunzal24,

take it as a given that he wants the "nookie".. as you call it.. and have a direct conversation about what happened and see how he reacts. There's nothing wrong with a man wanting sex. It's biological.. but hands are not sexual organs.. and muppets movies should not be an aphrodisiac.. You might want to see if he has a muppet fetish.. that could be creepy.. or not.. depending on how you roll..

kissy.gif
I hope the movie wasn't any aphrodisiac lol! Well, although hands aren't a sexual organ, they are where it begins, at least for me. I just hate to have that akward, uncomfortable conversation. I will, I just hate to do it. When we are outside the movie theater I felt like I should have done it then, (we drove seperate cars) but I was just trying to get the hell out of there. Is it even worth having that conversation, wasn't me jumping out of my seat enough of an indicator for him? What I want to do is give it one more date, if he calls again, and see how that goes. Somehow I feel like I might be sticking my head in the sand, then I convince myself that he got the message and maybe he will straighten up. My only thing is, did he get the message? He's an adult, jumping a good foot out of my chair when he did that should have sent the message....right?

On another note, the bunny loving on each other is hilarious. LOL!
 

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