I know that everyone does it. Babies do it. Men do it. Women do and even dogs do it, but when did **** become an afternoon discussion topic?

During a weekend get together with some of my friends and their wives. I was captive to one of the most fascinating and disgusting conversation I've ever heard. I should have gone with the guys to pick up James from the airport, but I didn't want to get out comfortable chair while I recovered from a half a bottle of Jack Daniels on an empty stomach the night before.

If I had know the direction the conversation was going to take, I would have gone to Hong Kong to pick up James. Unfortunately for me, when the conversation shifted I was too hung over to catch the unsubtle change. As I sat there holding my head in my hands I suddenly realized they were talking about ****!

I heard it all from how many days it had been since taking a good **** to the size and color of the ****. From there, it got worse. I learned what to do if you're constipated, what laxative to avoid and even how it was important not to strain too hard in order to avoid straining yourself and getting hemorrhoids. Disgusting!

Maybe they forgot that I was there, just as I wished I wasn't there. I love to hang out with my boys, have a drink and tell a few lies, but ****, we don't talk about ****! We may talk ****, but we don't talk about it.

We like to talk about sex and money, but ****? My head throbbed as I listened to the gory details. My stomach was rolling and tumbling trying to make up its mind if it was worth trying to keep down the remainder of that Jack Daniels. Finally, they went out side and left me to my thoughts, an aching head and the imagined aroma of ****.

Whatever happened to good clean topics like screwing and getting head or even malicious gossip? Unfortunately, I have heard this conversation many times since then. Do women have bowel problems? If they do, please wait until I leave before discussing them. Jeeeez!

It's been about two weeks now since the last discussion of bowel movements and over-the-counter laxatives, but I just can't snuggle up to my wife at night as the thought of getting a tobacco stain on pajamas haunts my dreams.

Amun!! Now how is somebody supposed to comment to this? ANyway i'm with you bruh....This is just one example of how our subjects of daily conversation has gotten stranger and stranger over time....We talk abpout stuff today that we would have never spoken of years ago...I mean men and women both talk openly about sex acts and preferences while at the job on lunch. If you ride public transportation is not strange to hear middle age women talk about how glad they don't have a period to worry about anymore. Just the other day I was talking to a female co-worker and in open conversation she started talking about how many times she cums during sex. I'm like you...Sometimes we give to much 411 and its really not entertaining at all.

But I am serious. I have never heard so many Sh*T conversations in my life. It was never a topic of discussion at my house. In the rear of my mind there is a thought that says perhaps having children does something that messes with the plumbing, but I don't want to know. I have commented to my wife to please have those discussions when I am not in the room. Of course, she mentions it tome any way like I really want to know. That is TMI (too much information) for me.

I always tell her to keep it a secret and if she must tell someone, tell her doctor or her friends but leave me out of it. At last I have found a subject that I don't like to talk about and with this writing it is done. I just wanted to know has any one else experienced this?

Ra :confused:

i'm glad you left the link to your column in your post to my piece... cause i would have hated to have missed this one!! i have laughed so hard!!... thank you!! **** Happens!... indeed!! but i have to agree with you... i don't particularly wanna hear about it... or discuss mines with anyone. (lol) butttt... i have to agree with Bishop... we are openly discussing lots & lots of things that were never before spoken of in the past. & i for one find it refreshing!! :) there are some people who you just feel comfortable talking about anything with... & there is no pretense or pride... just honest discussion... & sometimes it's gross... sometimes it's shocking... sometimes you wanna scream "please shut the hell up... that's too much info!!"... but you don't. soooo... all i'm tryna say in a round about way is... don't be scarred by the "****" talk... (lol)... let your wife press her bottom against you at nyght (this is one of a woman's favorite things)... and DON'T EVA drink a whole 1/2 bottle of JD again!! :lol: ... oh & thanks again for inviting me to stop by & read... i'll definitely be back!!! :wink:


Sunshyne~

Mr. Daniels and I have parted friendships. I can no longer tolerate his high handed and mean spirited ways. As of this writing we are no on speaking terms and I don't know if we will be at any time in the future, especially after the way he treated me. There was no call for that.

Ra

All I can do is laugh!!! Well understood though. But we all do it. And not to judge or anything like dhat. But its usually the man with the stains. LOL Unless you got some triphlin chic...we were born and raised to wipe. How can we miss that!!! LOL

insensitive topic, but it was really working my nerves. That is one topic that definitely does not fit my agenda. I thought I could discuss anything, but I am afraid that I must take a backseat when it coms to disccussing the finer points of defecation--and that's all I got to say about that. Now I'm going to get me some mustard and biscuits.

Ra

count on you to provide the humor in the most indelicate subject matter. I am smiling because of the absolute texture of this piece ~ it was as if I was there in the convo (in which I would have been quite vocal, sparing no details). Thoroughly enjoying the discomfort you were trying to mask! I have been known to engage in banter, devolving into a downward spiral, from the sublime to the ridiculous, causing symptoms that range from heartburn to utter hysteria, making folks squirm with severe discomfort as their bladders seem suddenly incapable of containing its contents, or their sphincters no longer strong enough to hold back the flatus that has been slowly seeping throughout the discourse...oh yes Amun-Ra...

I am not above delving into the fecal matter of a topic and examining all aspects of excrement. You wouldn't like me at all when I got through! :laugh:

I will never forget it. And if I'm around again when it comes up I will make surte that I am down wind--Ra

Ra... ITS FU@KED UP AND SO **** *****y IN TODAY'S
CONVO NOT LIKE IT USED TO BE
MAN THE THINGS U HEAR
LOTS OF CRAP!
I TELL U I HEARD SO STUFF LATELY

Amun-Ra, I'm surprised! As open and broad-minded as you are, oftentimes touching on topics that others refuse to acknowledge even exist ... you are cringing at the dookey conversations!!! :eeek:

Surely you know, it's more than those that partake in same sex relationships, coming out of the closet! With this Internet thing, people are exploring their hidden, oftentimes, untapped desire for wallowing in the dookey and urine of others! They love it and want you to understand them, be their friend, hold their hand, listen to them ... and here you are turning your nose up at the very conversation of such! I'm just so surprised.

Perhaps this article is only the tip of the iceturd, in regard to your fascination with this??!!! Free your mind, explore the possibilities ... you may find that you've been missing something great that life has to offer! :lol:

Disclaimer: I'm just responding yall !!! Whew !! This is a joke ... only a joke! Don't nobody start writing me telling me about the rich deep hues of their dookey! (forward all dookey mail to Amun-Ra!) :eeek:

:lol:

Destee

I'm squatting to new lows. I guess I'll get it in the end or just have to relax, exscuse me exlax untilI get over it--I am embarassed now.

Ra

Women tend to talk about all kinds of things, but I think we communicate more on personal levels than men anyway. You and your boys won't be disgusting yeast infections, sanitary products, bra sizes (what's in them, yes), etc.

I'm wondering if this was a turn off to you because it was coming for women.

Also, you can't tell me you have laughed or let out a few louds farts either.

i don't actually have **** conversation with my associates, friends maybe, but definitely not in the presence of the oppositive sex. That's seems like an instant turn off.

I forgot about the dreaded yeast infection. My skin is crawling. Yes, women have other topics of conversation that we men don't have the B*lls to handle. I am nervous sitting here typing it out.

Maybe that's their way of clearing the room. There are some things about women I don't want to know. I prefer to hang with the men where out topics are mundane if not stupid, trifling if not lies and entirely designed to avoid aver revealing anything personal about ourselves.

We like to keep it at a surface level...Yeast infections .....got to go got to go

Ra

LOLVL!!!

You are telling me that you and your "boys" don't talk about disgusting things?

Dare I mention the word, "period" and not the one at the end of the sentence. ;)

I can talk about fish guts, rabbit guts, hog balls, snakes, lizards, roaches, maggots, death, gonorhea, syphllis, crabs, blue balls, cum, funk, toe jam and almost anything under the sun but when it comes to periods, feminine hygeine, sanitary napkins, yeast infections, uninary infections, constipation and the like--I'll take a rain check.

Ra

Now that really good ****. You've got me rolling. Thanks, I needed that! :D

So you can talk about fish guts, rabbit guts, hog balls, snakes, lizards, roaches, maggots, death, gonorhea, syphllis, crabs, blue balls... But you can't see the beauty in body functions? :) A period (would be no life with them), a yeast infection (let you know something ain't right), releasing my "rocks" (as my son calls them, not releasing could make a person anal) all this unpleasant to think about, it all just a natural as cumming... ;)

We only want to be around those parts--we don't want to know how they work!

Ra

yes, I guess. but while you got you eyes closed you may be missing the beauty.

okay, i'm gonna take you there....




think about the lining the builds on the walls of a woman's uterus, it builds as the days go along, an egg is released, the woman is ovulating, may even be really horny that week, you have sex, protected and the egg and sperm both drain from the woman's vagina. now a couple weeks later when the egg hasn't attacked itself to the wall of the uterus the lining sheds and VOILA! (SP) you have a period. now if the egg does attack, that means it has connected with the sperm and ohhhhhhhh, no period.

now wasn't that beautiful, how the body works. so next time you won't be so hesitate and embarassed to buy your woman's sanitary needs. The long flying things, you know the ones with the wings. :)

know do i need to explain a yeast infection for you. basically it is a difference of alkaline levels. both you and me produce yeast in our bodies. if the level get off, VOILA! yeast infections. as you may know medications and such can also produce yeast infections, and also, men can also get yeast infections.

okay, i'm through grossing you out...:)

for today.

I wouldn't be too good at being a woman. I hate things to bother me in any fashion and with my temperament--I'd probably be a **** and no one would like me--Ra

Is that right?!!! LOL! and they would probably say you have "attitude" problems. With all this stuff going on in our bodies, I think we are entitled. Remember that next time your wife is "tripping". :D

Periods! Mercy! I don't even want to think about it. All the time we men spend trying to get into a place that has yeast when there ain't no breadcooking, has periods when there ain't no sentences and brings forth afterbirth--now you know why men ain't too bright--we forget all of those things--see my new artilce on men.

Ra