What is up with females who find their man cheating, wanting to beat, stab and kill THE OTHER WOMAN!??? Never doing anything to this man that allowed the situation to exist ... other than embrace him??!!!!

What is the deeper issue(s) here? What is really going on??!!!

Respond to this like ya wanna, Kemetstry. We can han'l it.

I'm totally with ya, Destee. NO woman on the face of THIS planet can MAKE ---YOUR--- man do what he don't wanna do. Go after HIS a##, not her. HE betrayed you, not SHE. It is not HER responsibility to look out for you. But him? He's a different story.

The KEM man is a cultured, civilized moderator type. Not I. So I will
respond with relish and gusto. (a pickle and some Cobra a 40)
First of all the "OTHER WOMAN" Took advantage KNOWINGLY:eek: :eek: The Inosent MAN $$rich$$:x: was half
asleep, stoned not to mention inebreated. Some one had slipped him some o that blu grass...from the south side. A female no doubt.:x: :x: Besides The "OTHER WOMAN IS YALL:eek: :eek:
You should be ashamed takin advantage of my boy $$rich$$ like that:toast: :toast: :kiss: Now he's gonna have a self esteem issue to resolve:cool: :toast: Don't you agree KEM?:toast:

Personally I think you should go after both of them....It works on the other foot too.. My next door neighbor walked in the house and found his girlfreind in bed with his best friend....by the way I was there too. anyway he dismissed both of them...I say you should bust a cap in both of them....But what do I know?:wink:

it'd be different if it were 2 women, then i might let it slide...
i might watch for 20 seconds, but i'd let it go.. :D

other than that, the issue is insecurity spiked with low self image like juice spiked with gin.
me, i'd say walk out before guy and girl gets sprayed :uzi:

trust, it goes on with men too...
i'd be like "you can have dat girl" and get to steppin'..

I hope your opinion on why women go after the other woman is a small percentage. Simply because, they're a fool to believe their man was tricked or trapped. That is...if their main concern is not to be a fool.
I'd be fooling myself if I said, there aren't women who see a man, knows he's engaged in a relationship, but still go after him full speed ahead. However, there are men who do the same. I tend to believe for some it's a game. Sad thing, so many lose.....including children.

I agree with Nia.....It is the person supposedly committed risking what they have with their mate, not the person they're rolling in lust with.

My opinion.. They have issues with being alone and they may have to let the man go. They're up against, being mistreated or being alone.
To some women it is MORE important to have man.

If a man is as they say, "creeping" on me.....I am alone, so lets make it official.

Poetically Turn'd Out!
CCBSKYN
:heart:

:lol: kemetstry

better women than men by far.
but neither are better than the right way!!!

As always on the button KEM the morality man ups to the highest
level. Da WOMEN for their own agenda. Dumpin on my dog the
$$RICH$$ one:eek: :toast: WRITE ON BROTHER you got the high side down:toast:

Nia ... you know Kemestry is skurred of us ... that's rite Sis ... encourage him to share his views :wink: Yes, we know that it's wrong and should be as you say, but what is it that makes so many females not see that? :confused:

Tophat ... did Kemetstry send you that response to post??? It sounds just like him :lol:

Bishop ... yes, most folk with any sense of integrity and decency would do just as your friend did, dismiss them both ... but what is up with women that want to beat the other woman down?? I'm so puzzled by this ... and it seems to be more and more the trend.

J'hiah ... yes, it does happen to men too. They occasionally want to beat the other man down or something ... but I don't think the numbers are anywhere close to how often women respond this way. Perhaps it is supply/demand. Men know they can easily replace her with someone else, while women feel more desperate?? I don't know ...

Kemetstry ... you said ... "The woman will not admit that her man is at fault. Because that would mean that she has been a fool and is wrong. It is extremely difficult for women, once they have committed to a premiss, to admit the remote possibility that THEY could have been wrong." ... but the truth of the matter is, the woman has not been a fool and wrong, because her man cheats. I can see how some may think that, but it's the farthest thing from the truth. I guess they are processing it as you've described though ... and acting accordingly. Makes sense, but it's way off.

Coco ... I think what you said has a lot to do with it. These women have issues with being alone and regardless of how poorly they are treated, they remain devoted to this man. Like Kemetstry said too, they must vent this anger in some direction and the other woman is the only one to direct it toward, since she'll do nothing to upset that man.

It seems that we as women are losing more and more respect for ourselves. If we have no respect for ourselves (to remain in a relationship with someone that mistreats us), then it isn't a stretch to have no respect for our Sisters.

I really don't think this is about the men, because they aren't going to sleep with someone that doesn't lay down and let them. It's up to us ladies to set the tone. I'm seeing/hearing more and more incidents where young girls (teenagers, young adults) are fighting, cutting, and bringing harm to each other, all over a man that doesn't really care about either (any) of the ladies in his circle ... hmmmm ... i think the problem is rooted in many things, going all the way back to slavery. Yet in spite of this, as long as we've been "free," it seems we are more shackled then ever.

Thanks yall for responding.

Destee

Howd ya kno? Wezz so careful:confused: Nuthin goe by da GIRL:rolleyes: :toast: I thought you was gonna rip me up:x:
wheres our boy $$rich$$ back in Jollette? Again:eek: :toast:

Shackeled doesn't need to be a bad thing. Although It ain't MY thing. $$rich$$ likes it. :) :) least he used to :) :)

:lol: @ TopHat ... so you don't like the shackled thing huh ... ??? ... dang! :)

that old green eyed monster rearing it's ugly head...

throw in a dash of "a woman scorned"...

with a touch of, feeling betrayed and used by her man..

and the uncontrollable need to vent some serious anger when she finds out...

and you have the need for the one woman to try and tear apart the other woman...

it's basic instinct..animal behaviour...part of what makes us human

and I have to agree with showing them both the door...

but seriously..ok, the "other woman" most probably knew the guy was off limits but went there anyway, but you can't really blame her, she's not committed to you, HE IS, and therefore he should be the one to say no and just walk away, or vice versa...

we only do, what we wanna do!!!

K

:D i b liken dis too much. I only get on my boy $$rich$$ when he disappears:rolleyes: tryin to lure him out ta defend hisself. But
it is CHI town, maybe he did get rolled up. :x: told him not to buy no woman PEE now his test turned him up PREGNANT:eek: :eek:
come out, come out whereever u are:toast: :kiss: :toast:

I be right above ya flying mid air as da waves blow me south
and as for me a real man i'll just walk away or put them both
out my crib.....on da other hand if she catch me then it's that
i wannabe cought love don't live here anymore but to sum it
all up i guess to bang both parties up him & her
see we find cheating a game as emotions r played wit
life's too short for dis drama hey Tophat man i'm just sprung!
in da lovin way so up up up up!!!! and awayyyyyyyyy!:eek:

seek meeeeeeee out again friend

Kitana ... yessss Gurlie ... you surely laid out a recipe for a good beat down ... guess with those ingredients the cake can't do nuth'n but fall ... hmmmm ... aiight ... maybe it's too much to expect for women to rise up and see things how they really are ... must be that smoke rising from the oven ... burning their eyes and stuff ... :wink:

Kemetstry ... why are you being so nice to me??? What do you want :eeek: ... hehehehe ... uuuhhhhh ... you aint gett'n no raise for your Moderating duties ... :lol: ... so go on and be mean to me like we're both accustomed to ... you're scare'n me! :)

Kemetstry ... i really cringe when agreeing with you, but this situation must be overcome by the women alone, by respecting each other. Just a total lack of respect going on here.

Tophat ... uuuuuuhhhhh ... you might wanna quit agreeing with Kemetstry so much because it will soon have you labeled as a woman hating, obnoxious male that refuses to listen to reason. There have been others that have tried joining on to his cult ... but they drank his way of thinking into their minds by the bucketful and ... well ... they lost it ... and are no longer allowed to come online ... but rather spend their days in padded rooms screaming his name! :lol: ... you've been warned! ... :lol:

$$RICH$$ ... i'm so grateful for sweet and wonderful loving men like you in this world ... that understand women and are compassionate and loving to us ... with men like you ... women never have to worry about stabbing a Sista for cheat'n wit her man! :love:

indeed Destee i've learn that a Queen is da Mother of birth
forth behind every strong man is his woman thou Queeneth
so forth da love is greater then thou and i see no need to
break her heart to draw hate within da soul......Tophat u got dat!!

Now ya got ta understand. I b havein the wisdom that only comes from gettin it on ya:eek: :eek: I know that smell:eek:
Ya mistake the KEM he is Priapeon in his brains Power. He be
packin all day intellegence. IQ education etc etc. He comes to his conclusions after very carefully extrapolateing the possibilites to
the extreme limits of scientific method thinging.:nuts: :D :cool:
now me on the other hand arrive at the exact same conclusion
with only a blunt and a beer!:party: :rolling: Only trouble I get
is from the Pop-eyed lookin creatures that chase me tryin to rip ma drawers:jawdrop: :bawling:

da concept is all good ......no one should beat nor kill coz
their mate cheats ladies u can walk away faster then
a dime can drop to da floor as well men can too.....i know!

Wow, this discussion has really kicked off. I haven't been receiving e-mails about activity on this thread. Be back later to comment! Got plenty!

Destee, you are truly :nuts:! Be mean to you like you are both accustomed to??? In padded rooms screaming his name??? Somebody make her stop!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I totally disagree with one comment, and that is that we go after the other woman as a "basic instinct" which "makes us human". I don't think so. That instinct is an anomaly. As a matter of fact, I am sure I can get an "Amen" that some Sistahs are simply so lacking in self-esteem, and so "needy" for a man, that they will go to insane levels of thinking and behaving to convince themselves (and others) that he will not be "taken" from them. You don't even have to be interested in some females' men, and yet they will be ready to beat, stab and kill you simply because of their own insecurities. Some females feel SO inadequate that when they do have a man, they guard him like their whole existence depends on keeping other females out of eyeshot.

So don't let a female actually slide through, oh it's on then. That would only validate their deeply rooted beliefs about their own inadequacies. It would nullify what miniscule fragment of self-worth they may have had. In order to gain some feeling of empowerment, they feel they must destroy the object of that man's attention, since that's what took the attention away from them. It's a sickness.

when I said..
"it's basic instinct...animal behaviour...part of what makes us human"
I meant it in the context of our reaction to him having another woman, our feelings, of anger, jealousy, etc..is in fact basic instinct, not the need to kill her or stab her or whatever..

we are by the laws of nature, predators (basic instinct..which is in fact not an anomaly..a lie..it is part of our animal characteristics) so when we have something stolen from us, we will fight to regain it..

and maybe some sisters are lacking in self-esteem, and therefore feel so insecure in their relationship and their ability to keep their man, that they become insanely jealous of any other female whom he shows any interest at all in, but that is not the story with all females...

some of us, when confronted with a spouse who cheats, just to tend to want revenge in any way, shape or form..

K

it's not only the women, and it's not all, just some

it's the availibility...for both men and women

it's like once we only had a choice of three flavours of ice-cream...now we have hundreds....once we were only allowed to have it as a special treat, now we can eat it whenever we want..

sex is the same...it's out there, it's available, and anyone can have it if they want it...and in so many cases it is accepted as normal behaviour...

once upon a time if you cheated on your spouse it was a shameful thing, a disgraceful thing, and you were critisized, or ostracized and thought to be a cad or a tainted lady...now it's hardly worth mentioning, there is a blase attitude towards it,
and oftentimes there is no atonment to be made.

and knowing that every time your husband/wife/lover/boyfriend/girlfriend walks out the door, he/she is exposed to the availibility, is enough to make some people insecure in their relationships.

K

Originally posted by Kitana
when I said..
"it's basic instinct...animal behaviour...part of what makes us human" I meant it in the context of our reaction to him having another woman, our feelings, of anger, jealousy, etc..is in fact basic instinct, not the need to kill her or stab her or whatever..


Not meaning to be disagreeable, but I still disagree. I find it very juvenile and AGAINST nature to feel all that hostilty and jealousy (even if minor hostility) toward the "other woman". The NATURAL thing to do and feel--the basic instinct--is the inclination to self-preserve, though not at the expense of destroying or harming others unnecessarily. If you want to self-preserve, you don't attack the other woman (that's a waste of energies), you leave the man, and find better. I'm sorry, but jealousy is not a basic instinct. It's a conditioned mentality.
Originally posted by Kitana

we are by the laws of nature, predators (basic instinct..which is in fact not an anomaly..a lie..it is part of our animal characteristics) so when we have something stolen from us, we will fight to regain it..K

A predator "preys" on others, specifically others that are weaker or vulnerable in some way. I'm not following how the concept of the predator applies in this scenario. (Is the scorned woman preying on the "other woman"???) I cannot recall a time in my life when I've ever behaved like a predator, but perhaps I'm simply not clear on what you are saying.
Originally posted by Kitana

and maybe some sisters are lacking in self-esteem, and therefore feel so insecure in their relationship and their ability to keep their man, that they become insanely jealous of any other female whom he shows any interest at all in, but that is not the story with all females...

That's the story with all females who want to beat, maim and kill the other woman. That type of passion boils down to INSANE jealousy, lack of self-estem, lack of self-confidence and insecurity, period.
Originally posted by Kitana

some of us, when confronted with a spouse who cheats, just to tend to want revenge in any way, shape or form..

K

And being vengeful seems the natural reaction, except why take it out on the outsider? Revenge is slashing the dog's tires. Revenge was what my "Waiting to Exhale" Sistah did to the dog's belongings. Revenge is dropping his low-down behind and never looking back. Revenge is NOT beating, maiming or killing his other woman. Heck, she probably means less to him than his daggone ride.

Originally posted by kemetstry
:cool:

Question: Why are women that insecure? You didnt use to be. Or so it seemed.

They don't believe they are desireable. Why don't they believe they are desirable? Perhaps they have been told they are not all their lives. Perhaps it is difficult for them to get a man. Maybe they feel unattractive compared to the average female. I don't believe any particular incident precipitates such a disposition, but rather a particular trait or set of traits or lifelong experience. Once they do get some kind of piece of man, if the relationship is jeopardized in any way, they lose composure.

I take it from your first response to my reply in saying that it is "juvenile and against nature to feel all that hostility and jealousy", that if you perhaps were in a committed relationship, with a husband, and he strayed, having a sexual relationship with another woman...that you would feel no jealousy or anger toward that woman at all..you would simply kick his butt to the curb and your feelings toward her would be completely neutral????

to your second point..a predator is an animal which hunts another animal...without using the term literally, meaning that you would be willing to protect what is yours(the realtionship) from the predator (the female preying on your male)

to your third point..I do not believe that every act of passion stems from a lack of self esteem, it's not that easy and it's not that pretty, some of us may just have a mean streak and want to do unto others as they have done unto us..I will say that the initial cause of the attack would have to anger, but it would stem from a wider range of emotions or lack thereof..

and to your fourth point...he may mean nothing at all to her (the other woman)...his cheating might have meant nothing to him other than a quick bit of casual sex on the side..but to me that makes the whole act of cheating even more degrading and shows a greater loss of respect on both their parts, simply because their union has no meaning, no depth, no worth , other than to satisy a basic need...

K

I agree with the passion part, but I just cannot see a woman who is confident in herself going off and beating, etc. the other woman. If I'm not mistaken, you are saying a woman who is attractive, intelligent, has it together in other ways could go off on the other woman because although she thought she was "it", this other (perhaps better looking) woman infiltrates, striking a blow to her well-built self-confidence. I really cannot say. It probably happens that way, but I believe that more often than not, the woman who hauls off and beats, stabs, kills the other woman is below average.

Originally posted by Kitana
you would simply kick his butt to the curb and your feelings toward her would be completely neutral????

A SITUATION I DID ENCOUNTER IN THE PAST WAS SIMILAR. HE LEFT HIS WALLET AT MY PLACE BY ACCIDENT. IT WAS UNDERNEATH THE LIVINGROOM CHAIR AND I FOUND IT WHILE CLEANING. LOOKED INSIDE. FULL OF PHONE #S. CALLED THEM ALL. INQUIRED ABOUT THE FEMALES' INVOLVEMENT WITH HIM. WAS VERY POLITE WHEN CALLING THEM UP (DIDN'T MISDIRECT MY HOSTILITY FOR HIM AGAINST THEM). FOUND OUT SOME INTERESTING THINGS. THANKED EACH FEMALE GRACIOUSLY AND GRACEFULLY. THOUGH NONE OF THEM ADMITTED TO ANY SEXUAL INTERCOURSE, EVEN THOUGH ONE ADMITTED TO SOMETHING SEXUALLY-RELATED, I DUMPED HIM WITHOUT EVEN THINKING TWICE, AND NEVER LOOKED BACK. IT WAS A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP AND WE HAD BEEN INTIMATE. I NEVER HAD ANY ANGER OR JEALOUSY TOWARD ANY OF THE FEMALES. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEM, AND THE MAJORITY OF THEM WERE UNDER AGE.

you would be willing to protect what is yours(the realtionship)
from the predator (the female preying on your male)

I DON'T CONSIDER THE OTHER WOMAN A PREDATOR, OR PREYING ON THE MALE. IF ANYTHING, HE MIGHT BE PREYING ON HER. IF ANYTHING, SHE'S A SCAVENGER AND HE A PREDATOR. I'M NEITHER.

some of us may just have a mean streak and want to do unto others as they have done unto us..I will say that the initial cause of the attack would have to anger, but it would stem from a wider range of emotions or lack thereof..

SAY IT AIN'T SO, KITANA. YOU DON'T HAVE A MEAN STREAK DO YOU, SIS? PLEASE SAY IT AIN'T SO. :laugh: :wink:

and to your fourth point...he may mean nothing at all to her (the other woman)...his cheating might have meant nothing to him other than a quick bit of casual sex on the side..but to me that makes the whole act of cheating even more degrading and shows a greater loss of respect on both their parts, simply because their union has no meaning, no depth, no worth , other than to satisy a basic need...

BUT THE FACT REMAINS, IT MAKES MORE SENSE TO DEPRIVE HIM OF THOSE THINGS THAT DO MEAN SOMETHING TO HIM. HIS POSSESSIONS HAVE MEANING, DEPTH, WORTH TO HIM. IF YOU MUST AVENGE, ATTACK THOSE INSTEAD. LEAVE HIS BEHIND, SO HE NO LONGER HAS THE GOOD THING YOU HAD BEEN TO HIM. FORGET ABOUT HER. LET 'EM BOTH DISAPPEAR INTO THE SUNSET, AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. :toast:

K

if the setting was different..say you were married to a man for maybe ten years..had a couple of children..a home...a life together...you find out he's cheating...and it's not a one-off...would it still be only him that's at fault..would she still be blame free...would you still thank her graciously and gratefully??

and I'm going to have to disagree on the predator theory...some women mainly target married or involved men (which in my mind makes them a predator)...they do this because there are less hassles in the relationship, he's less time consuming, it satisfies a basic need to relieve sexual tension, he most probably won't ask too much from her because he has a wife at home etc etc...

and no..I don't have a mean streak, there is no way I would beat, stab or kill the other woman, but the visions would run through my mind, I just wouldn't act on them...and I would certainly not be calling her up and politely inquiring about her relationship with my husband....when you are married, love, respect and trust walk hand in hand...when one is missing, you have a lot of work to do to make the relationship stable again, that is if you can....if the man is married, it's a whole lot more than cheating....it's almost like the death or a terminal illness of your life together....

and I agree..he would be the main cause of the hurt, anger, etc, that I would be feeling, and based on the circumstances of his affair, one night stand, whatever, would be how I would react to it...some things you can work out and put behind you , some things you cannot...only the two people involved know which is which..

K

I apologize for responding with such brevity, but I really have to get some work done tonight; more in-depth response later. But to answer your question very basically, if I were married and my husband cheated--and had intercourse with someone else--our union would be cancelled. I really don't care what the circumstances are, because

A) there is no way to justify staying with someone who would place you at potential risk for HIV/AIDS, especially someone whom you have trusted with your whole life by marrying him

B) if he would want to go out and do such a thing, that means to me that we really don't have a marriage--we're just together physically and on paper, though not spiritually--therefore, I need not waste additional precious time with someone who is not completely devoted to me. Life is too short to waste on betrayal, heartache, undue stress, and the wrong person.

As for my feelings toward the other woman, if she did not get involved with him deliberately to hurt me, specifically, if she wasn't even aware he was married or seriously involved, I cannot get upset with her. If she knew he was married, I would be disgusted with her, but not jealous or "killing mad".

When I finally find a WOMAN who I can HANG with I will have to TRUST HER COMPLETELY.:nuts: that will leave me open for potential heartbreak and misery.:eek: But it cuts both ways as far as I am concerned now. Previously all that mattered was that they be sweatin and givin out that sweet soulful sound some call a "WIMPER" one the last three power stroke before the gusher!:x: :x: :eek: :kiss: :toast: kno what I B sayin?

some interesting points made here, Destee, Nia, Kitana and there is truth, because it's all relative.

Kem, you made some statements that as usual, bother me. you mentioned that women's moral values have decreased.
But then again, mentioned nothing about men and their moral responsibilities. from your statements, not just here, it seems that men ARE JUST TO SCREW AROUND AT WILL. LIke this is what is natural. (I have quite some different views on that, but that a different topic.)

you also say women are insecure - there are many factors for this. look at our history here in america. we have never been seen as worthy, our men are increasing dating outside our race, and men squirk their responsibilites as fathers. Note i didn't say as OUR MEN. We also suffer from racism, sexism, and even us strong ones get labeled as being *******.

Are men not insecure. I know many who use their penises as a symbols of manhood. I know many who would rather beat a woman down than to support her.

I am aware of what you would say is "reality", but this type of thinking only adds fuel, it doesn't stop the fire.

I work with youth. I'm seeing how our society, it's views, it's so-called morality is affecting the younger generations.

I have seen the young girls fighting and arguing over the boys they like. I see the boys disrespecting the girls. I also see the girls disrepecting themselves.

How do we stop the cycle in which we live?

Kirby Puckett

he and his wife are divorcing. it is reported that he has been stepping out on his wife. just last week, his wife was given a restraining order for "stalking" his other woman (white woman).

Thandiwe ... how do we stop the cycle? I think there has to be an overwhelming majority of adults doing the right thing ... so children can see (throughout their community) how things are suppose to be done.

Say it aint so ... not Kirby ... lol ... i'm just kidding. But why beat up the other woman ??!!! Why don't women jump on the man more often!!!?? That is who I'd wanna :smash:

Jeeez

I'm right behind you, Destee. And for future reference, God forbid my man ever steps out on me, but if he should, I WILL be calling you up so you can come over and help me beat him down!

I just cannot believe women actually SHOOT the other woman! Wow! Just makes no sense at all. She's just the one that got caught. Suppose he's been with 10 other women. Does the scorned female want to go and take out all 10 of those women he cheated with???

:nono: :hammer:the cheater, girl! :hammer:the cheater!!!

what she should have done was pop his a&&
not the woman dat all i gotta say!!

Thanks everyone for sharing in this thread ... i really wonder why Sisters do this.

Brothers don't do it, at least not like Sisters do it.

Sister Sister Sister ... c'mon ... let's reason together on this one.

It's still happening, probably even moreso now, than when this thread was first posted.

:heart:

Destee

I could be wrong, but I think Sisters who realizes their selfworth are less likely to attack the other women. They realize that the bond was made between their husband/mate. He has broken the agreement and he should be held responsible. In a situation where the other women is a friend, then both are responsible.

I don't think we should attack another physically, but instead move on. When you love someone it seems that it is very difficult to hurt them and some go after what they feel might hurt him more instead. (the other women) Thinking it's shows just how much they love their mate. For some, its just ego and pride kicking in. They argue that it is the principle of the whole scenrio. If a women knows that a man is taken, she deserves to get the pow-pow.

I think some put love before common sense. Somehow they believe that love don't require them to be rational too. But thats not true. We need to use both when faced with heartbreaking situations.

If a women knows that a man is taken, she deserves to get the pow-pow.

Sister Purple ... i did read all that you posted, but want to isolate this one sentence.

I don't think men think this way, in general.

I have seen too many situations where the men remain civil toward each other, or chalk it up to the game ... dissing the woman ... but rarely attacking each other.

Men seem to simply dump the woman and keep it moving.

While women want to fight the other woman and hold on to her man.

I guess this is another one of the many differences (in general) between men and women.

:heart:

Destee

your SO is caught with some one.
you kill that person.

they dead.
you in jail.

your SO is out doing some OTHER person.

makes a lot of sense when you think about it, don't it? :bazooka:

Sister Purple ... i did read all that you posted, but want to isolate this one sentence.

I don't think men think this way, in general.

I have seen too many situations where the men remain civil toward each other, or chalk it up to the game ... dissing the woman ... but rarely attacking each other.

Men seem to simply dump the woman and keep it moving.

While women want to fight the other woman and hold on to her man.

I guess this is another one of the many differences (in general) between men and women.

I agree Sis. Most men don't think this way. I have asked many Sisters whom directed their anger at the other women, and they seem to always say its the principle of it. They would argue with the man, but stay with him. It's weird how some women feel need to fight the other. It's like they feel the man was stolen from them and the theft most be punished.

I've notice how most men won't go after the other too, when the situation is in reverse. Men seem to move on alot easier then women.

What is up with females who find their man cheating, wanting to beat, stab and kill THE OTHER WOMAN!??? Never doing anything to this man that allowed the situation to exist ... other than embrace him??!!!!

What is the deeper issue(s) here? What is really going on??!!!


Excellent topic, Sister Destee!


Yes, there are some serious "issues" involved in this.

I can't specifically speak on them, but a dysfunction in self-image is definitely present, IMO.

Destee, Destee, Destee...what a topic! Well lets look at this like a diamond. As you spin a diamond you begin to see that it has many points of light within the whole of itself...and this topic is like that. In light of that truth let us move deeper.

1. Women are by nature "POSSESSIVE". It doesn't matter if it's a man, a pair of shoes or anything else...possessive is the first key.

2. Every woman knows "subconsciously" that she is in one form or another in competition with another woman for what she wants or feels that she needs.

3. Every Black woman knows from the time that they are young that "the pickings" in terms of what they view a good Black man to be are slim once the riff raff is weeded out. This reality just elevated point one and two to a higher level.

4. Every woman knows that a man doesn't pull a woman, it's a woman that pulls a man and most woman who are up on their game know exactly "what to wear, how to talk, what perfume to put on and what game to play to draw the man into her circle. The magnet always pulls the metal and men are the metal.

5. What does this really mean? It means that most relationships of people involved with each other are not perfect and that a woman up on her status who has intent on a man can easily find the opening to reach that man. In essence, "find out what your competition does or does not do and capitalize on it." Are women generally this catty? Most would agree that they are although this is not a generalization of them as a whole.

6. Most men, even though many will not admit it, even if they are married or in a serious relationship, knows that there is a woman out there that can have them like...duh!...and they will wonder themselves how they ever gratefully found themselves between her legs after the guilt kicks in.

7. Having said all of that, there is another scenario that is beyond the man or the woman's control...and that's the law of chemical affinity. In essence this simply means that there is someone out there who is your perfect chemical, biological, genetic match. This is the person who literally makes you weak at the knees, who makes your heart race for no reason and who you are a perfect sexual match with although the two of you may have nothing else in common. Hell, outside of the bedroom you may not even stand each others guts.

8. Now here's the real kicker. Most women who have caught the man with another woman is still with that brother today...so even though many women talk that stuff about leaving him and all that....nine times out of ten that isn't the case at hand because somewhere in her subconscious mind and in her heart she isn't about to let that other woman simply "take what is hers all because the woman gave up some drawers"....that's that possessive part kicking in again...and she may also know that outside of him getting those drawers, he may just be a good brother. In other words...yes he's a good father to his children. Yes he works and takes care of the home. Yes he does take care of her and gives her the comfort, security and affection that she requires. No he doesn't hang in the streets or clubs and is at home 99.9 percent of the time. So here's this brother who just messed up and got caught for whatever reason....do you really think the average woman is going to just throw him back out to the wolves??? I think not!! So when he and she is caught in the act, it is the emotion and the understanding that women have about each other that causes them to lash out at each other. Why not him?...cause it's hard to actually physically hurt someone you really love and care about...so guess who is going to get his @ss whipping? That's right, the woman he was caught with!!!