Brothers I placed this here instead of the warrior forum, because it deals with relationships. Ladies please feel free to comment.

If your wife, who you are about to divorce has custody of the children, a better job than you, and makes more money, would you file for alimony?





MaddSistahlyLove!
Coco:heart:

If your wife, who you are about to divorce has custody of the children, a better job than you, and makes more money, would you file for alimony?
of course. she took the best years of my life. i gotta get paid.

of course. she took the best years of my life. i gotta get paid.

James, the best times of your life is when you had no worries, cares or...grey hairs :lol:

No....all i ask is my rights to the children ......and shared time to spend with them

Brothers I placed this here instead of the warrior forum, because it deals with relationships. Ladies please feel free to comment.

If your wife, who you are about to divorce has custody of the children, a better job than you, and makes more money, would you file for alimony?





MaddSistahlyLove!
Coco:heart:

Good question! I think alimony in divorce depend on the economic advantage and disadvantage.

Alimony in divorce
Alimony or spousal support is a flexible financial tool for divorcing couples. It offers tax advantages that can help put more cash in the pockets of both spouses.
http://divorceinfo.com/alimony.htm#WhatRequirements

What is it?
Alimony is also sometimes called spousal support. It's designed to provide the lower-income spouse with money for living expenses over and above the money provided by child support. Alimony is different from child support. Where child support is a simple mathematical calculation using guidelines published by your state, alimony is very much in the discretion of the judge.

Can I get it?/Will I have to pay it?
There are several factors a judge considers when deciding whether to grant alimony. These differ from state to state, of course, but they usually involve things like the parties' relative ability to earn money, both now and in the future; their respective age and health; the length of the marriage; the kind of property involved, and the conduct of the parties. In general, about the only time a judge will award alimony in most states is where one spouse has been economically dependent on the other spouse for most of a lengthy marriage.

Why would I want to pay alimony?
Alimony gets treated differently from child support on your tax return. Alimony is tax deductible to the person who pays it, and included in the taxable income of the person who receives it. Child support, by contrast, is not taxable to the person who receives it and not tax deductible to the person who pays it. That means that when you and your spouse have dramatically different incomes, there may be some tax advantages to using alimony, even if a judge wouldn't ordinarily award it.

Being that I have learned my greatest lessons from women, YES!!!...and in a heartbeat! This ain't got nothing to do with pride, with being a man or anything else. If the shoe was on the other foot she darn sure wouldn't think twice about it so why should I?

no i wouldn't is my initial thought...but how the relationship ended and our communication level as far as the children has a lot to do with it...if she was buggin on the children tip and or trying to move them where it would be hard for me to see them then i would get as much as i could get since she was trying to inflict more pain in an already hard situation....
it's what i keep trying to tell people here on destee...nothing in this world is black and white...

one love
khasm

I agree Khasm13 your point well taken , this how i feel about it !

but how the relationship ended and our communication level as far as the children has a lot to do with it.

i agree.....Under most circumstances I'd say no not at all, but if I found out she was cheating I'd take her to the bank and would wake every morning feeling great about myself.......

Brothers I placed this here instead of the warrior forum, because it deals with relationships. Ladies please feel free to comment.

If your wife, who you are about to divorce has custody of the children, a better job than you, and makes more money, would you file for alimony?





MaddSistahlyLove!
Coco:heart:i'm not trying to be funny here,but as a father of three,if she has custody of the children she deserves every penny she makes.

Brothers I placed this here instead of the warrior forum, because it deals with relationships. Ladies please feel free to comment.

If your wife, who you are about to divorce has custody of the children, a better job than you, and makes more money, would you file for alimony?





MaddSistahlyLove!
Coco:heart:




No cocobutterskyn.

Response from a woman here...


Coco, I have been through this only I was not married and it was about child support.

It really depends on the man, you have some men who want to pay you back for what another woman did to him and he really does not want to pay you back, he just wants to justify taking a womans money. It really doesn't matter if he has a justification or not because he will still take the money but just for running off at the mouth purposes, he will at least give a justification which is, women get men for their money all the time. Yet they want to be "da man" of the house or "da man" period point blank.


Oh and one more thing, if he is a Scorpio or Leo, he will no doubt, have no problems with taking a womans money, although he views his self as "da man"

Don't get me wrong, not male bashing because I love the black man but he needs to choose his role and stay within that role.


Astrologer4U

Don't get me wrong, not male bashing because I love the black man but he needs to choose his role and stay within that role.

i'm very flexible, lol..........

i'm very flexible, lol..........



Nothing wrong with being flexible but you still have a line that must be drawn and after you come out of your flexibilty, you need to go back across to your side of the line where your role is. Otherwise, I as a woman, mine as well make the final choices of the household. While you as a man sit back and let me completly wear the pants. Now we can't have that, or can we?


Astrologer4U

Nothing wrong with being flexible but you still have a line that must be drawn and after you come out of your flexibilty, you need to go back across to your side of the line where your role is. Otherwise, I as a woman, mine as well make the final choices of the household. While you as a man sit back and let me completly wear the pants. Now we can't have that, or can we?


Astrologer4U

I don't know I've always been one of those people that doesn't necessarily believe in typical westernized gender roles and that's mainly, because they vary from culture to culture. With that being said I can maintain my role as a man and get a check from my ex-wife if I feel like she deserves it......................women do it all of the time.

I don't know I've always been one of those people that doesn't necessarily believe in typical westernized gender roles and that's mainly, because they vary from culture to culture. With that being said I can maintain my role as a man and get a check from my ex-wife if I feel like she deserves it......................women do it all of the time.


So Africans don't have gender roles and if not, how do you feel a black man and a black woman should handle going their seperate ways? How should things be divided between them?


Astrologer4U

u can keep the booty, just give me the looty

So Africans don't have gender roles and if not, how do you feel a black man and a black woman should handle going their seperate ways? How should things be divided between them?

Of course they do and those can vary also, but when speaking specifically about African Americans we take on the traditional roles set up by American society for the most part. The entire "division" question depends on the scenario. Like I said I would most likely not ask for alimony, unless the woman did something terrible to me......like infidelity.

u can keep the booty, just give me the looty

word.

Of course they do and those can vary also, but when speaking specifically about African Americans we take on the traditional roles set up by American society for the most part. The entire "division" question depends on the scenario. Like I said I would most likely not ask for alimony, unless the woman did something terrible to me......like infidelity.


So you are the paybackish type eh?

What sign are you and be honest, in fact I would like to look at all your planets to make sure your paybackish is not hiding off in your Moon, Mars, or Venus if it is no in your Sun.

As a matter a fact, I did your planets some time back, I can go and check my self.

As for American traditions, I do not follow them but a man getting alimony is sure enough an America Tradition particularly if he is was not the bread winner in the marriage. So what do you have to say about that one being that you are for getting the alimony?


Astrologer4U

:SuN047:skip the honey, just give me my money.....

:SuN047:skip the honey, just give me my money.....



No honey, no money...


Now how is that for a one liner?



Astrologer4U

@Jahari Kavi


Yep, you got that old spiteful Moon in Scorpio, all you have to do is go back to my Friends and lovers thread, you will see it with your own eyes.


Astrologer4U

So you are the paybackish type eh?

not really, but I'd be furious if my "wife" cheated on me......

@Jahari Kavi


Yep, you got that old spiteful Moon in Scorpio, all you have to do is go back to my Friends and lovers thread, you will see it with your own eyes.


Astrologer4U

lol, I'm actually not though. I've had some chicks do some pretty messed up things to me before, and I've never gone out of my way to hurt them emotionally in any way at all. But I'm talking about my "wife" cheating on me..........that's just a whole nother beast........

lol, I'm actually not though. I've had some chicks do some pretty messed up things to me before, and I've never gone out of my way to hurt them emotionally in any way at all. But I'm talking about my "wife" cheating on me..........that's just a whole nother beast........



I see so there is a time for payback is what you are saying?

Astrologer4U

I know there are some grimy women out there, but what about the children? Whatever is done to the mother affects the children YOUR children, shouldn’t that weigh on the decision to get even or not?

And if someone’s behavior is bad, does that grant us the opportunity to behave the same?

James,
What about the best years of her life?

Oldiesman,
i'm not trying to be funny here,but as a father of three,if she has custody of the children she deserves every penny she makes.
There isn't anything funny about that. IMO whoever has the kids more, needs more... regardless of the emotional circumstances of the ADULTS.

Rich and Khasm, Big ups for thinking about the kids first.

Astro,
I feel you. I feel that same about SOME women when it comes to certainty equality issues. Either you are a woman or not!

One thing I will never understand is someone not wanting to take care of their child, no matter what the circumstances are. There is NO excuse. If the father has concerns about the mother not using the support for the child, then he should file for partial or full custody. It takes A LOT more than money to raise children.


Thanks for engaging:)



MaddSistahlyLove!
Coco:heart:

I know there are some grimy women out there, but what about the children?

WHAT ABOUT EM?!?!?!?!???


LOL

nah but I would make sure they get a cut of my check............

Who has primary custody of the children?

All of this sounds so good on paper.The reality is this; "A large majority of Women have a tendency to use children as leverage...emotionally and economically in these situations". One of the main reasons for this is because very few affairs end on a good note and resentment and all kinds of devious elements come into play from women in general. These are simply games that men don't play. With todays mothers there is the tendency to make sure that the children do get the money...after her hair, her nails, the car note, etc. etc.

Then of course there are the visitation games that get played also...if it's convenient for her...cause if she had a man who is trying to be a father, who makes the payments and who is really doing the right thing by their children, then she's already double pissed off. Why? Because she realizes that somewhere she was stupid enough to lose him and that he really doesn't want her anymore...not even to sleep with....and when a man turns his back on the nana you know that relationship is toast!!!

So in this situation I would burn her a-- the same way I know she would burn me!

So in this situation I would burn her a-- the same way I know she would burn me!

chuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch!!!!