cocobutterskyn
10-29-2008, 01:47 AM
The front door slammed shut and soon after I heard the car speed off. Though I knew I was alone in the house I still couldn’t bring myself to move. I sat there bewildered over what had just transpired. It was over as quickly as it had started, which made the reality of it cloudy. The tension in the room began to thin, but a concentrated amount had settled at the temples of my head. It was my heart trying to convince my mind that this wasn’t the norm. Its just a storm that would soon pass and the sun will shine tomorrow, so don’t do anything, believe me, wait and see. How could I not listen to my heart’s reasoning, I’m in love and up until now it has been a wonderful experience. The moment my mind conceded to my heart a peace warmed over me and I got up to start my day.
Its a comfort more now, than ever before to work for a company that gives an option to work from home, when needed. I was feeling much better, but I didn’t want any co-workers homing in on possible emotional residue from my morning ordeal. The rest of my day went smoothly and my night was so restful, I failed to hear the phone ring and the message that recorded when I didn‘t answer. I pushed the play button on the answering machine and then, my sunshine spilled out and filled the room, as well as my heart.
“Hey Baby, I guess you went to bed early, sorry I missed the opportunity to say goodnight. I have something special planned for us tomorrow. I’ll get at you later. I love you baby.” The sound of his voice was gone, but his words “I love you” hugged me in the silence and the warmth of them made me happy I listened to my heart.
*******
He loosened the tie to the blindfold I was wearing and removed it. I anxiously opened my eyes to a room adorn with balloons, flowers and an ignited fireplace that romantically flickered through the atmosphere. I was captivated, any memory in my mind of yesterday’s storm was erased and replaced with images of tonight and future nights of the same to come.
We sat in front of the fireplace, feeding each other finger food he had prepared. As I sipped from my glass of wine, I spied the smile in his eyes that translated this was only apart of what he had planned. He sensed an unspoken inquisitiveness and asked what was on my mind. I smiled and praised him for a wonderful evening. As soon as the words escaped my lips, he told me to close my eyes and with a childlike enthusiasm, I did as he said. I wanted to open my eyes, but couldn’t dare bring myself to ruin the moment. He took my hands in his, sensually, he kissed and sucked my fingertips, first the right hand, then the left, until he reached my ring finger and then, I felt him slip a ring onto it.
He noticed excitement escalating in me. “Don’t open your eyes” He commended. Although, now it was harder not to, I still did as he asked. I heard the sound of fondled papers, anxiously I asked, “Can I open my eyes now?” He quickly replied, “In a second!” I felt this was going on too long and it was starting to rob me of excitement. Just as that thought came to me, he spoke. I smiled and listened attentively as he attempted to be a poet, reciting his poem.
“Your
softness
coats lingering
past pain and lightens
the world’s
cruelties
Until
our paths met,
me against the World
I claimed
Since
then every day is
a good day
no
matter how it
plays
In my heart
I
believe
we’re meant
to be
will you marry me?”
I couldn’t take it any longer. I opened my eyes and there he sat, close enough for me to feel his body heat, holding the piece of paper which housed his loving words inviting me to be his wife. With my arm wrapped around him tightly, I screamed, “YES, YES, YES I‘LL MARRY YOU!” loud enough to shake the treetops.
*******
Sadly, as the years passed the excitement of being a wife was a distant memory of a past life. It wasn’t only him I couldn’t recognize, I also questioned my own identity. Family and friends were no longer apart of my existence, I was reborn into his world and conditioned to be whomever and whatever he deemed me to be. His presence caused the option to work from home to grow into an uncomfortable luxury. After insisted attempts to work at the office led to painful fighting sections, I discovered staying home rendered me less anguish.
How ironic, I thought to myself, as I reclined in an oversized leather recliner. Here I am in this lovely family room, in this amazing family home and he won’t allow any family or friends in. Lately, the days and nights are getting harder to bare. The phone and doorbell rarely rings and the only conversations I engage in, are with him, launching verbal attacks to assault my self-esteem whenever his isn’t physically beating me.
In my lap rest a package delivered to me over a week ago, without a return address, while he was at work. The content alarmed me at first, because, how could anyone know what was going on in this house? Domestic violence literature, a list of websites and numbers of organizations that help women who are in domestically violent situations and a note that read, “There are people who can help you.” As my eyes combed through the material again and again, my mind absorbed all the information that would aide in my escape from his world.
MaddSistahlyLove!
Coco:heart:
Its a comfort more now, than ever before to work for a company that gives an option to work from home, when needed. I was feeling much better, but I didn’t want any co-workers homing in on possible emotional residue from my morning ordeal. The rest of my day went smoothly and my night was so restful, I failed to hear the phone ring and the message that recorded when I didn‘t answer. I pushed the play button on the answering machine and then, my sunshine spilled out and filled the room, as well as my heart.
“Hey Baby, I guess you went to bed early, sorry I missed the opportunity to say goodnight. I have something special planned for us tomorrow. I’ll get at you later. I love you baby.” The sound of his voice was gone, but his words “I love you” hugged me in the silence and the warmth of them made me happy I listened to my heart.
*******
He loosened the tie to the blindfold I was wearing and removed it. I anxiously opened my eyes to a room adorn with balloons, flowers and an ignited fireplace that romantically flickered through the atmosphere. I was captivated, any memory in my mind of yesterday’s storm was erased and replaced with images of tonight and future nights of the same to come.
We sat in front of the fireplace, feeding each other finger food he had prepared. As I sipped from my glass of wine, I spied the smile in his eyes that translated this was only apart of what he had planned. He sensed an unspoken inquisitiveness and asked what was on my mind. I smiled and praised him for a wonderful evening. As soon as the words escaped my lips, he told me to close my eyes and with a childlike enthusiasm, I did as he said. I wanted to open my eyes, but couldn’t dare bring myself to ruin the moment. He took my hands in his, sensually, he kissed and sucked my fingertips, first the right hand, then the left, until he reached my ring finger and then, I felt him slip a ring onto it.
He noticed excitement escalating in me. “Don’t open your eyes” He commended. Although, now it was harder not to, I still did as he asked. I heard the sound of fondled papers, anxiously I asked, “Can I open my eyes now?” He quickly replied, “In a second!” I felt this was going on too long and it was starting to rob me of excitement. Just as that thought came to me, he spoke. I smiled and listened attentively as he attempted to be a poet, reciting his poem.
“Your
softness
coats lingering
past pain and lightens
the world’s
cruelties
Until
our paths met,
me against the World
I claimed
Since
then every day is
a good day
no
matter how it
plays
In my heart
I
believe
we’re meant
to be
will you marry me?”
I couldn’t take it any longer. I opened my eyes and there he sat, close enough for me to feel his body heat, holding the piece of paper which housed his loving words inviting me to be his wife. With my arm wrapped around him tightly, I screamed, “YES, YES, YES I‘LL MARRY YOU!” loud enough to shake the treetops.
*******
Sadly, as the years passed the excitement of being a wife was a distant memory of a past life. It wasn’t only him I couldn’t recognize, I also questioned my own identity. Family and friends were no longer apart of my existence, I was reborn into his world and conditioned to be whomever and whatever he deemed me to be. His presence caused the option to work from home to grow into an uncomfortable luxury. After insisted attempts to work at the office led to painful fighting sections, I discovered staying home rendered me less anguish.
How ironic, I thought to myself, as I reclined in an oversized leather recliner. Here I am in this lovely family room, in this amazing family home and he won’t allow any family or friends in. Lately, the days and nights are getting harder to bare. The phone and doorbell rarely rings and the only conversations I engage in, are with him, launching verbal attacks to assault my self-esteem whenever his isn’t physically beating me.
In my lap rest a package delivered to me over a week ago, without a return address, while he was at work. The content alarmed me at first, because, how could anyone know what was going on in this house? Domestic violence literature, a list of websites and numbers of organizations that help women who are in domestically violent situations and a note that read, “There are people who can help you.” As my eyes combed through the material again and again, my mind absorbed all the information that would aide in my escape from his world.
MaddSistahlyLove!
Coco:heart: