I am curious to know....

In my last relationship....lets just say things got really routine and repetitive...and our souls were no longer connected...the sex was not the bomb.

But from your experience family...does bad/boring sex signify the ending of a relationship?


I know I am talking to somebody out here....





*

BY no means.

Lilpea :1on1:

I am curious to know....

In my last relationship....lets just say things got really routine and repetitive...and our souls were no longer connected...the sex was not the bomb.

But from your experience family...does bad/boring sex signify the ending of a relationship?


I know I am talking to somebody out here....

*

The sex has never been the problem for me, in a relationship.

I've often been amazed, that even when everything else in the relationship is dying ... the sex don't miss a beat.

Weird.

:heart:

Destee

I am curious to know....

In my last relationship....lets just say things got really routine and repetitive...and our souls were no longer connected...the sex was not the bomb.

But from your experience family...does bad/boring sex signify the ending of a relationship?


I know I am talking to somebody out here....



*


The answer is h to the yeah!


Naw, just playin. This is just my opinion. If at one time the sex was the bomb and was the bomb for a long period of time, that means it can always be. If the sex is not going good right now but for the most part always has been good, I think there may be a break down in communication.

The sex has never been the problem for me, in a relationship.

I've often been amazed, that even when everything else in the relationship is dying ... the sex don't miss a beat.

Weird.

:heart:

Destee


Wow Destee, you must don't care about nothing else as long as that lovin is good...LOL


Just playin.

Wow Destee, you must don't care about nothing else as long as that lovin is good...LOL


Just playin.

No Sister ... i just never really experienced boring sex, and that's probably due to a number of factors.

I'm just say'n that i've been in relationships, where it's clear it's heading downhill fast, we are no longer connected in the same way, no longer striving for the same things, frustrated with each other, communication is poor ... but the sex is hot !!?? ... that is so weird to me!

It would seem to me, that if we can't do any of those other things anymore ... it should impact the sex as well?!

It's a weird kind of feeling though, to know that the relationship is dying everywhere else, but the sex is hot ... :look:

Who wants that ?! :love:

I've often wondered about this, and i'm sure this is the first time i'm actually ever speaking on it! :eeek:

Sister Sweet Applie*Pie's question, made me think on this, and so i shared it. Great question Sister! :wink:

Boring sex at the end, is not something i've experienced ... it's usually the opposite for me ... was my point.

:heart:

Destee

My hat of to u Sister Destee... like you I've never experience boring sex...main reason I guess is I don't bring stinking thinking to the bedroom. Each time is a journey to exploration. And I'm having to mush fun to let that stop.

Lilpea :1on1:

My hat of to u Sister Destee... like you I've never experience boring sex...main reason I guess is I don't bring stinking thinking to the bedroom. Each time is a journey to exploration. And I'm having to mush fun to let that stop.

Lilpea :1on1:

Brother LilPea ... i think part of it too, is staying in a relationship too long.

Staying when you know you're unhappy, when everything has died, when there's only frustration and stuff like that left.

It's probably at this point, that the sex does begin to take on the manifestations of the relationship.

It's better to end it with love and respect for each other ... if possible ... allowing both to move on, with positive memories.

:heart:

Destee

No Sister ... i just never really experienced boring sex, and that's probably due to a number of factors.

I'm just say'n that i've been in relationships, where it's clear it's heading downhill fast, we are no longer connected in the same way, no longer striving for the same things, frustrated with each other, communication is poor ... but the sex is hot !!?? ... that is so weird to me!

It would seem to me, that if we can't do any of those other things anymore ... it should impact the sex as well?!

It's a weird kind of feeling though, to know that the relationship is dying everywhere else, but the sex is hot ... :look:

Who wants that ?! :love:

I've often wondered about this, and i'm sure this is the first time i'm actually ever speaking on it! :eeek:

Sister Sweet Applie*Pie's question, made me think on this, and so i shared it. Great question Sister! :wink:

Boring sex at the end, is not something i've experienced ... it's usually the opposite for me ... was my point.

:heart:

Destee


You are very lucky then. Me, If I know that the man is either a cheater or if I feel like he is a liar, I can't enjoy the sex. Unfortunately, liars and cheaters come more than those good men out there. I even broke up with a liar who I had great sex with, I mean the best. I got hard up one time...LOL and tried screwing around with him a year later just to see if he could lite my fire and, nothing sparked even though his approach and method had not changed.

You are very lucky then. Me, If I know that the man is either a cheater or if I feel like he is a liar, I can't enjoy the sex. Unfortunately, liars and cheaters come more than those good men out there. I even broke up with a liar who I had great sex with, I mean the best. I got hard up one time...LOL and tried screwing around with him a year later just to see if he could lite my fire and, nothing sparked even though his approach and method had not changed.

I can't really say i have a lot of experience with liars and cheaters.

I've probably been lied to, and cheated on ... but they'll swear it never happened ... :look:

Going back to Sister Sweet Apple*Pie's question :

Does Boring Sex signify THE END?

I'd have to say no, it does not.

Boring sex, to me, would be an indication that THE END was many moons before.

:heart:

Destee

I can't really say i have a lot of experience with liars and cheaters.

I've probably been lied to, and cheated on ... but they'll swear it never happened ... :look:

Going back to Sister Sweet Apple*Pie's question :

Does Boring Sex signify THE END?

I'd have to say no, it does not.

Boring sex, to me, would be an indication that THE END was many moons before.

:heart:

Destee


What if the sex had been good for many years before?

What if the sex had been good for many years before?

I don't understand your question ... give me more please.

:heart:

Destee

The Ending of a relationship is more then about sex...in most cases it has nothing to do with it.

Lilpea :1on1:

Boring sex, to me, would be an indication that THE END was many moons before.

:heart:

Destee


Greetings Sister Destee, I am so happy to have you in this discussion. Greetings family....

Perhaps I should clarify a bit, because I think that their may be some misunderstanding, and I dont want Lil Pea to be misconstrued about: I am not saying that "bad sex" is a reason to terminate ones relationship.

Destee, I think you made an excellent comment above, about boring sex indicating an ending relationship many moons ago...See, I am the type of woman that...if my emotions are not happy, and I do not feel as if my man understands the woman that I am...then my sex will ultimatley display that. It will be a lack of enthusiasm.

And when one boring sex romp turned into 20...well, I knew it was not a temporairy situation. In order for me to have that really good, I mean really good, ground-shaking, chandelier breaking, some-body-get-this-pony-outta-here dang-it-hurts-when-I-pee-sex.....my heart has to be IN LINE


:qqb006:

Yea...Ha ha ...I know that was too much info, right?

I don't understand your question ... give me more please.

:heart:

Destee


If the sex right from the very beginning was bad, I would understand what you mean hear..." Boring sex, to me, would be an indication that THE END was many moons before."

However,( and this is just me, it seems) I don't see how that fits with the context of Sweetapples question.

Sweets question: Does boring sex signify the end?

Implication: Sex was good in the beginning, but it's dead and boring now. Does this mean the relationship is coming to an end or that the relationship is over?

Your response to the question: "Boring sex, to me, would be an indication that THE END was many moons before."

Implication: Bad sex has nothing to do with the end, although the sex was good in the begining.

MY thoughts based on the above, Bad sex has nothing to do with the end then.

Which brings us full circle to what you had stated about never having boring sex ever, yet you and your partner knew it was over but you didn't see any reason why that would affect the enjoyment of the sex you and your partner had. Hence, your relationships never ended on the basis that the sex was boring.

Which is why I told Sweets, present boring sex may be the result of a breakdown in communication. What I was implying is that the fun and enjoyment of sex could probably be revitalized, if somehow the communication is revitalized.


Astrologer4U

Wow, Sis Sweet Apple Pie, what a question to ask!
You and I have chatted before, so you kinda gonna know where i'm comin from when I say....boring sex does not have to signify the end. It can signify a transformation....into a friendship. When you choose up a man for something other than his sexual stunts, if sex is less than or if y'all just happen to be going through one of those less sex times--than it's no great disaster. y'all got what ever else y'all had in common before y'all got in bed.

May I say also, that I am still friends with most of my exes. There is usually something--their manliness, their conversation, their sense of humor--that i don't feel a need to disconnect from. We are friends, but I don't have sex with them.And I really don't get confused about this, even if they sometimes do. My friends are my friends, and my man is my man.

But let me ask you to consider this--because this scenario usually causes me more complications--what do you do when the sex is boomin, but y'all can't seem to meet on any other ground? hummmmm.........?

MizJoice, Mizjoice....thank you for showering us with your lovely voice...

What a provocative question!

I have not had many sexual partners, by my choice, so fortunatey I have not ran into this problem....

And hopefully, i wont run into this problem, because I am woman that likes to be courted, in a sense, and have a well rounded idea of a person, before I would ever slip underneath the sheets with them.... this alleviates many problems, like the one you present. BUT I am very curious to know, how one would deal with this....

Wow, Sis Sweet Apple Pie, what a question to ask!
You and I have chatted before, so you kinda gonna know where i'm comin from when I say....boring sex does not have to signify the end. It can signify a transformation....into a friendship. When you choose up a man for something other than his sexual stunts, if sex is less than or if y'all just happen to be going through one of those less sex times--than it's no great disaster. y'all got what ever else y'all had in common before y'all got in bed.

May I say also, that I am still friends with most of my exes. There is usually something--their manliness, their conversation, their sense of humor--that i don't feel a need to disconnect from. We are friends, but I don't have sex with them.And I really don't get confused about this, even if they sometimes do. My friends are my friends, and my man is my man.
But let me ask you to consider this--because this scenario usually causes me more complications--what do you do when the sex is boomin, but y'all can't seem to meet on any other ground? hummmmm.........?




mizjoice,
:bowdown: :teach: :bowdown:

mizjoice,
:bowdown: :teach: :bowdown:



Hey Clyde, Mizjoice has Pluto in the first house so she would know how to accept and appreciate transformation. In fact, she practically lives for transformations.

Hey Clyde, Mizjoice has Pluto in the first house so she would know how to accept and appreciate transformation. In fact, she practically lives for transformations.





Astrologer4U,

Okay, now do understand why I say her steps have been ordered? Your knowledge of Astrology is invaluable, and definitely needed for our people, especially the manner in which we have discussed of its practicality, and usage, agreed?

That is good for both mizjoice, and myself to know and understand, thanks Astrologer4U. Your willingness to share so freely, affords me to shore up on other matters, and for that I thank you, humbly.

Sex has never been a problem because me and a mate have always connected
I try hard to keep the fire burning high doing the things that was required done to
keep it hot by choices of the mate/s in my life time that was different of each

That has always sparked the relationship in other areas that got better in time
but sexual encounters alwayz been sweet to me , maybe because i explore the
options

before i explore the sexual body i venture into the mind and heart that will alter the flame of good sex
it's the inner being i seek into before the outter lair display in my mind ......S.E.X alwayz good and for the soul
but know what's inside that brings such heated none boring sex .

Astrologer4U,

Okay, now do understand why I say her steps have been ordered? Your knowledge of Astrology is invaluable, and definitely needed for our people, especially the manner in which we have discussed of its practicality, and usage, agreed?

That is good for both mizjoice, and myself to know and understand, thanks Astrologer4U. Your willingness to share so freely, affords me to shore up on other matters, and for that I thank you, humbly.




Thanks again Clyde, for another sweet and alluring compliment. :tweety:

Actually Mizjoice told me she has Pluto in the 1st house.

@ Astrologer4U -- Venus in Aquarius in the seventh, has been very helpful too!

@ Sweet Apple Pie - Sis, you ready?--cause here I go again! In the scenario I presented you with--boomin' sex but no comptability, the woman loses. Just a natural fact, men do not confuse sex with love--rarely! We woman, we do it all the time. If we have sex--you my man!! And the man is lookin up side our head sayin "sez you!" we have sex, we in love. :flirt:

My opinion only: We are designed with that embedded in us--becuase the sex nature was orginally for procreation, and parenting is truly a two person job,so when we have sex we feel love>we want to have his babies>and be together>etc. those feelings are in our nature, but this culture is killing all of that.

but i got off track. Few woman can stay in a relationship with a man that is only sexual, knowing that it won't be anything more. We either stay, hoping it will become something more, or we feel used by the man.....

and that is unfortunate, because usually the clues were there all the time, we just didn't wish to read them.

I ain't just blowin smoke; i've done it too. But when you know better, you should do better, so now i don't get caught up....

Sex has never been a problem because me and a mate have always connected
I try hard to keep the fire burning high doing the things that was required done to
keep it hot by choices of the mate/s in my life time that was different of each

That has always sparked the relationship in other areas that got better in time
but sexual encounters alwayz been sweet to me , maybe because i explore the
options





$$RICH$$,
:bowdown: :teach: :bowdown:

Rich be careful, these are some dangerous convo's:)

@ Astrologer4U -- Venus in Aquarius in the seventh, has been very helpful too!




Yes Mizjoice, I can see how Venus in Aquarius in the 7th would make ending sexual relationships transform into Friendships. Plus your Uranus in the first house rules your 7th house so there is reinforcement towards friendships and sex, can't have one without each other.

Just for the people who do not understand. The 7th house is the house of partnerships and relationships. Mizjoices 7th house is ruled by Aquarius, the sign of friendships hopes and wishes. She has Venus in 7th, the planet of balance and love. Wow!

Mizjoice your chart is really manifesting in your life. Don't you just love all that confirmation? :hearts4:

@Mizjoice


Have you checked the messages in your profile box?

@ Astrologer4U -- Venus in Aquarius in the seventh, has been very helpful too!

@ Sweet Apple Pie - Sis, you ready?--cause here I go again! In the scenario I presented you with--boomin' sex but no comptability, the woman loses. Just a natural fact, men do not confuse sex with love--rarely! We woman, we do it all the time. If we have sex--you my man!! And the man is lookin up side our head sayin "sez you!" we have sex, we in love. :flirt:

My opinion only: We are designed with that embedded in us--becuase the sex nature was orginally for procreation, and parenting is truly a two person job,so when we have sex we feel love>we want to have his babies>and be together>etc. those feelings are in our nature, but this culture is killing all of that.

but i got off track. Few woman can stay in a relationship with a man that is only sexual, knowing that it won't be anything more. We either stay, hoping it will become something more, or we feel used by the man.....

and that is unfortunate, because usually the clues were there all the time, we just didn't wish to read them.

I ain't just blowin smoke; i've done it too. But when you know better, you should do better, so now i don't get caught up....

Mizjoice...I like your style. Your a sassy seasoned lil mama, and I thirst to learn from women like you. When leaving a relationship based on sex, how does this make you feel, may I ask?


before i explore the sexual body i venture into the mind and heart that will alter the flame of good sex
it's the inner being i seek into before the outter lair display in my mind ......S.E.X alwayz good and for the soul
but know what's inside that brings such heated none boring sex .

Yes indeed Rich...Making love to the mind and body is a wonderful thing, that I wish I had the experience of knowing about. I am sure it is like, stepping out of the natural body, into a universe all it's own...

Thanks again Clyde, for another sweet and alluring compliment. :tweety:

Actually Mizjoice told me she has Pluto in the 1st house.




Astrologer4U,

Well......thank you for your quick responsiveness, Astrologer4U, you seem to be the only one, other than Zulile, that cares about me................................................ .................................................. ......thanks...................................... ............................. :bye:

Ok Sweet, you really got me thinkin tonight, When leaving a relationship based only on sex, my feeling have depended on where I was mentally, in other words what i have learned about myself and relationships.

in my twenties, i mainly felt used. i was caught up in 20 yo mess--"what's wrong with me?"

but i am at a different place with myself now.
when i leave a relationship now that is based only on sex--meaning we never go out, we never talk, and any of the other things i look for in a man--conscious, a reader; i got a list, and it is written down--i feel relieved. I'm 50 years old; too old to be somebody's "booty call!"

And too be honest Sweet, i deserve so much more.....as do we all.

Ok Sweet, you really got me thinkin tonight, When leaving a relationship based only on sex, my feeling have depended on where I was mentally, in other words what i have learned about myself and relationships.

in my twenties, i mainly felt used. i was caught up in 20 yo mess--"what's wrong with me?"

but i am at a different place with myself now.
when i leave a relationship now that is based only on sex--meaning we never go out, we never talk, and any of the other things i look for in a man--conscious, a reader; i got a list, and it is written down--i feel relieved. I'm 50 years old; too old to be somebody's "booty call!"

And too be honest Sweet, i deserve so much more.....as do we all.

That's a good thing I've learned to not base my relationship on sex but her whole being
and the beauty of her essence not her body structure this way no one will be cheated
or feel used .

Yes indeed Rich...Making love to the mind and body is a wonderful thing, that I wish I had the experience of knowing about. I am sure it is like, stepping out of the natural body, into a universe all it's own...

Yes caress the mind and soul that carry the heart before exploring da depth
of a woman's treasure and worth because her worthyness is important this way
sex would be like another demention of the third kind that keeps the fire burning

:hot::hot::hot::hot::hot::hot::hot::hot::hot:

That's a good thing I've learned to not base my relationship on sex but her whole being
and the beauty of her essence not her body structure this way no one will be cheated
or feel used .

I can tell you have, Rich, by how and what you write. There are many good brothers on this site; you, dear one, are one of the good ones....

most humbled but i see we have equal the same because i know all our sisters here are laced in the finest of knowledge and display awesome wisdom and love there fellow brothers

Astrologer4U,

Well......thank you for your quick responsiveness, Astrologer4U, you seem to be the only one, other than Zulile, that cares about me................................................ .................................................. ......thanks...................................... ............................. :bye:

Now Clyde Coger, you not that is not true...stop kicking those rocks...Your a gem.

Now Clyde Coger, you not that is not true...stop kicking those rocks...Your a gem.




sweet apple*pie,

Thank you sweetheart, but the only Gem is You, I am just a servant! And all servants, from time to time, feel this way, I'll be okay, thanks to peeps like You, I love You TOO!

I can tell you have, Rich, by how and what you write. There are many good brothers on this site; you, dear one, are one of the good ones....

I see I am not the only one, who thinks so.....smile.

Ok Sweet, you really got me thinkin tonight, When leaving a relationship based only on sex, my feeling have depended on where I was mentally, in other words what i have learned about myself and relationships.

in my twenties, i mainly felt used. i was caught up in 20 yo mess--"what's wrong with me?"

but i am at a different place with myself now.
when i leave a relationship now that is based only on sex--meaning we never go out, we never talk, and any of the other things i look for in a man--conscious, a reader; i got a list, and it is written down--i feel relieved. I'm 50 years old; too old to be somebody's "booty call!"

And too be honest Sweet, i deserve so much more.....as do we all.

Yes we do....you know what my philosphy has been? I just dont want a bunch of dudes running around planet Earth, having sampled my goodies.... and no longer with me.

50 years old, is a golden age of arrival....quality of life begans there...

:SuN020:you people still having sex?

Humph! Viagra wasn't invented for young folks.......as you might well know!:time::devil:

we gots to raise above our gonads. be more than animals.
we are so distracted by sex, meanwhile the white man is ruling the world.
i can out sex most any white man. i'm bigger, stronger, harder. i can last longer.
i can make his woman swoon. so what? he still owns the plantation. we sex. he rules.
sex has been used against us. to distract us. it is just another opiate.
sex is fun, yes, but it is not important.


:SuN034:

I am curious to know....

In my last relationship....lets just say things got really routine and repetitive...and our souls were no longer connected...the sex was not the bomb.

But from your experience family...does bad/boring sex signify the ending of a relationship?


I know I am talking to somebody out here....





*


I see that I'm late (one day and 5 pages, indeed!)... but to answer your question from my perspective... YES! Bad sex means end of a relationship.

The reason I say that, is because for me, sex is a gauge of how I'm feeling in a relationship. It is one of the last entered aspects of a relationship. By the time I have sex with a man, that means I'm truly devoted to that person and the sex is the icing on the cake. Another thing that a lot of men believe is that best sex women have is with the best endowed or with the men with the most experience. Not true. The best sex sex I have ever had comes with the men I have had the deepest (no pun intended) connection with. I call that "Astral Love." And if I had that with a man at one point and now don't have it at all, and I become an ooch ouch girl.... It's a wrap.

Peace Family

Bad sex means end of a relationship

the woman who i spent the most of my life with was no hottie in the sex stuff. not at all.
sex is no be-all or end-all to me. sex is just sex.

my relationship is not determined by my sex organs.

:qqb013:

well I can say this to me it does signify something. maybe not the end but the end of intimacy. you go from 3 times a week and now maybe once every two or three weeks. you sleep with your tshirt on no panties, and nothing stirs up you tell me if the intimacy hasnt died. i think personally that our hangups has killed his drive or the way I put it down isnt enough. I think he is sexually starved. he is used to women that does it all and i am a conservative type. that i think will kill everything. i want to please him but my mind wont let me. i want that bow legged sex walk he was giving me or that whew the lack, the lack is killing me!:thinking::em3400::qqb010::em2100:

the woman who i spent the most of my life with was no hottie in the sex stuff. not at all.
sex is no be-all or end-all to me. sex is just sex.

my relationship is not determined by my sex organs.

:qqb013:

Did you read the whole post or did you stop at that line?

Did you read the whole post or did you stop at that line?

i read your entire post. did you read any of mine?

my position is that black people put way too much emphasis on sex.
i think we use hot sex to over compensate for other areas of our life that is not working too well.

i have never evaluated a relationship based on sex.

we gots to raise above our gonads. be more than animals.
we are so distracted by sex, meanwhile the white man is ruling the world.
i can out sex most any white man. i'm bigger, stronger, harder. i can last longer.
i can make his woman swoon. so what? he still owns the plantation. we sex. he rules.
sex has been used against us. to distract us. it is just another opiate.
sex is fun, yes, but it is not important.


:SuN034:


Wow! penetrating and you know it.

the woman who i spent the most of my life with was no hottie in the sex stuff. not at all.
sex is no be-all or end-all to me. sex is just sex.

my relationship is not determined by my sex organs.

:qqb013:

Okay, I'm confused... :qqb002:


That term "sex is just sex" is mind boggling to me. I heard this at another on line site where the people were talking about interacial sex. I disagree, sex is not just sex. If sex is just sex, that would not support what you said about how black people put ot much energy into it. If sex is just sex, black people should just go ahead and continue to run around like sex craved animals and do it becasue after all, its just sex that they are having.

i read your entire post. did you read any of mine?

my position is that black people put way too much emphasis on sex.
i think we use hot sex to over compensate for other areas of our life that is not working too well.

i have never evaluated a relationship based on sex.


My position is sex is not just a physical activity like excercise. It's an emotional tie. If that emotional tie is broken the the sex is bad. I was not refering to anything else. Like what Black people focus on. I don't know all Black people.

I hope this doesn't offend you and this is not meant to be argumentative, but the way you phrase your comments, especially in this computer venue where people do not have the benefit of your expressions or intonations... are often quite offensive. Your posts are hard to follow because it seems that you latch on to a phrase and change it out of its original intent.

Proper Education Always Corrects Errors.

My position is sex is not just a physical activity like excercise. It's an emotional tie. If that emotional tie is broken the the sex is bad. I was not refering to anything else. Like what Black people focus on. I don't know all Black people.

I hope this doesn't offend you and this is not meant to be argumentative, but the way you phrase your comments, especially in this computer venue where people do not have the benefit of your expressions or intonations... are often quite offensive. Your posts are hard to follow because it seems that you latch on to a phrase and change it out of its original intent.

Proper Education Always Corrects Errors.

i am not looking to offend anyone. if you will give an example of how i can say what i need to say and phrase it so as to not offend i will be happy to try it your way.

Okay, I'm confused... :qqb002:


That term "sex is just sex" is mind boggling to me. I heard this at another on line site where the people were talking about interacial sex. I disagree, sex is not just sex. If sex is just sex, that would not support what you said about how black people put ot much energy into it. If sex is just sex, black people should just go ahead and continue to run around like sex craved animals and do it becasue after all, its just sex that they are having.

sex is just sex to me. i like it fine but i do not put the emphasis on it that some do. i do not make it a be-all.

as you may know i have not even had sex in a few years. does that mean that my relationships are now all bogus? none of my relationships was ever based on sex.

we are all too fat. me too. that is because we eat for many reasons besides actual hunger. we attach all sort of emotional ties to food that have no business being there. we use food to compensate for things that are missing in our life. i just saw a 300lb women sitting on the bus eating as she rode along.
now, we all know there is no way in the world that woman was hungry.

we do the same with sex. we put all sort of stuff on it that does not belong on it IMO. we elevate it all out of proportion.
i hear people say they will trash their relationship it the sex is not exciting enough. come on now.

we need to step back and check ourselves.

i been with somebody through thick and thin for 30 years and now she gon throw me out because i don't make it exciting for her any more?
after 30 years how exciting is it supposed to be?

sex is just sex. food is just food. a cigar is just a cigar.

we need to have our needs met correctly, not by some opiate.

sex is just sex to me. i like it fine but i do not put the emphasis on it that some do. i do not make it a be-all.

as you may know i have not even had sex in a few years. does that mean that my relationships are now all bogus? none of my relationships was ever based on sex.

we are all too fat. me too. that is because we eat for many reasons besides actual hunger. we attach all sort of emotional ties to food that have no business being there. we use food to compensate for things that are missing in our life. i just saw a 300lb women sitting on the bus eating as she rode along.
now, we all know there is no way in the world that woman was hungry.

we do the same with sex. we put all sort of stuff on it that does not belong on it IMO. we elevate it all out of proportion.
i hear people say they will trash their relationship it the sex is not exciting enough. come on now.

we need to step back and check ourselves.

i been with somebody through thick and thin for 30 years and now she gon throw me out because i don't make it exciting for her any more?
after 30 years how exciting is it supposed to be?

sex is just sex. food is just food. a cigar is just a cigar.

we need to have our needs met correctly, not by some opiate.


I don't think food and sex can be equated with a cigar because there is no essential need for a cigar.

I understand that your view is that sex is basically a thing that black people over rate in the black community. We do need to be more disciplined and be more concerned with other important factors within the black community. I am with you on that. I get disgusted with how our people act like sex is the most important factor to their survival.

However, as spiritual in the flesh we do need sex at some point just like humans need food, clean air fresh water and so forth. Sex in my opinion is not only to bring forth procreation, but it also heightens the spirtuality between two people. Food, we need it to live, to survive, for the murishment of our body's. Clean Air, we need it so that we can breath it, clean air also nurishes and helps the physcial body to survive. Clean water, we need it for cleansing and keeping our insides moist so as not to dry up. You get my point?

It is the misuse and abuse of those things that is disgusting and just plain old dissapointing.

I don't think food and sex can be equated with a cigar because there is no essential need for a cigar.

I understand that your view is that sex is basically a thing that black people over rate in the black community. We do need to be more disciplined and be more concerned with other important factors within the black community. I am with you on that. I get disgusted with how our people act like sex is the most important factor to their survival.

However, as spiritual in the flesh we do need sex at some point just like humans need food, clean air fresh water and so forth. Sex in my opinion is not only to bring forth procreation, but it also heightens the spirtuality between two people. Food, we need it to live, to survive, for the murishment of our body's. Clean Air, we need it so that we can breath it, clean air also nurishes and helps the physcial body to survive. Clean water, we need it for cleansing and keeping our insides moist so as not to dry up. You get my point?

It is the misuse and abuse of those things that is disgusting and just plain old dissapointing.

i have not had sex in some years and i may never have it again.
am i somehow lacking in spirit? does not my heart still beat?
have i ceased to draw breath? is there something wrong with me?

maybe sex is not as necessary as we have been led to belive?




:SuN011:

i have not had sex in some years and i may never have it again.
am i somehow lacking in spirit? does not my heart still beat?
have i ceased to draw breath? is there something wrong with me?

maybe sex is not as necessary as we have been led to belive?


:SuN011:

No, you are not lacking any of those things at all but you are lacking physical spiritual union, which is achived through sex and is the ultimate union between two people. It does not matter though because life goes on.

you are lacking physical spiritual union, which is achived through sex and is the ultimate union between two people.

i disagree. i do not believe that is the ultimate union between two people.
sex is fun but for me it does not carry the weight that you place on it.

i do see that i am outnumbered here though.

i disagree. i do not believe that is the ultimate union between two people.
sex is fun but for me it does not carry the weight that you place on it.

i do see that i am outnumbered here though.


You are not being outnumbered, it's not about that. It is just not fair for you totally down play sex. Sex does have a beautiful and positive to it but just like anything else, it can be misused and abused. I strongly believe that the misues and abuse is the side of sex that you detest so much that you want nothing to do with it. Hey, I am sure that you are not the only one who feels the way that you do.

Trust me sex do play a role in a relationship , it's not about the sex but how the two
in the relationship work with the sexual encounters , We should never base our minds
and beings around sex but allow sex to play it's role into a beautiful relationship

S.E.X.....is important because it carry some good health factors in human being life

I don't live for sex and the use of a woman body but for the morals of her beings
which hold half of the sex mixture and when mixed together it become a beautiful
thing so why not try to keep it's fire burning and keep it as good in sweet pleasure
for both to enjoy it's encounters .

Bad or Boring Sex don't mean the end is coming to a relationship , it means something
is broken between the two and most time it's anger/betrayal/cheating or lack of communication
sometime the flame seem to go out but it always burning just need to relight it or clear
the build up , because if love from da heart is still there so is the sex that seem to gone bad/boring.

I don't think food and sex can be equated with a cigar because there is no essential need for a cigar.

I understand that your view is that sex is basically a thing that black people over rate in the black community. We do need to be more disciplined and be more concerned with other important factors within the black community. I am with you on that. I get disgusted with how our people act like sex is the most important factor to their survival.

However, as spiritual in the flesh we do need sex at some point just like humans need food, clean air fresh water and so forth. Sex in my opinion is not only to bring forth procreation, but it also heightens the spirtuality between two people. Food, we need it to live, to survive, for the murishment of our body's. Clean Air, we need it so that we can breath it, clean air also nurishes and helps the physcial body to survive. Clean water, we need it for cleansing and keeping our insides moist so as not to dry up. You get my point?

It is the misuse and abuse of those things that is disgusting and just plain old dissapointing.

Coming back to this A4U, I would certainly have to agree with you. The art of sex, is a marvelous thing, that many forget that God created for the man and woman to enjoy the fruits of one another. God created this which shows us, how much he wanted us to enjoy the ultimate fufillment of his creation. It does indeed, heighten the spirtuality of a pair. Sealing their devotion to one another. It is a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful ( okay, point made, lol) thing.
-It is unfortunate that sometimes in our media community their are those, who are quite underdeveloped, that cheapen the artistic strokes of love making. They glamorize it under bright lights...when it really should be coveted under a warm candle glow...real adults honor and respect the art of love making and it's many exotic pleasures. I'm getting bothered just talking about it, he he he.

Trust me sex do play a role in a relationship , it's not about the sex but how the two
in the relationship work with the sexual encounters , We should never base our minds
and beings around sex but allow sex to play it's role into a beautiful relationship

S.E.X.....is important because it carry some good health factors in human being life

I don't live for sex and the use of a woman body but for the morals of her beings
which hold half of the sex mixture and when mixed together it become a beautiful
thing so why not try to keep it's fire burning and keep it as good in sweet pleasure
for both to enjoy it's encounters .

Bad or Boring Sex don't mean the end is coming to a relationship , it means something
is broken between the two and most time it's anger/betrayal/cheating or lack of communication
sometime the flame seem to go out but it always burning just need to relight it or clear
the build up , because if love from da heart is still there so is the sex that seem to gone bad/boring.

Yes, i would agree. Sex is a healthy art and practice, for it is God's gift unto us! Yes, i think a continuous pattern of "boring sex" is a sign that two hearts have come unattached. If the love is still their, then I think the boring sex would be an indicator to one another, to spend quality time together. As we are constantly evolving as people, even in relationships, we must fight to keep connected. How a couple connects at the begining will change shape and form in the years to come....when people start sleeping on this fact, is when I think the silent screams of poor lovemaking, start to show.

I believe that people start to get "too comfortable" with one another, and stop working as hard, to please one another. Pleasing one another should never be a chore, but a heart fufilling pleasure! One that I find enjoyment participating in.

Coming back to this A4U, I would certainly have to agree with you. The art of sex, is a marvelous thing, that many forget that God created for the man and woman to enjoy the fruits of one another. God created this which shows us, how much he wanted us to enjoy the ultimate fufillment of his creation. It does indeed, heighten the spirtuality of a pair. Sealing their devotion to one another. It is a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful ( okay, point made, lol) thing.
-It is unfortunate that sometimes in our media community their are those, who are quite underdeveloped, that cheapen the artistic strokes of love making. They glamorize it under bright lights...when it really should be coveted under a warm candle glow...real adults honor and respect the art of love making and it's many exotic pleasures. I'm getting bothered just talking about it, he he he.]


Hey sis, I'm witchu on that...Winks


Sister

Astrologer4U

What if the sex had been good for many years before?

I don't understand your question ... give me more please.

:heart:

Destee

If the sex right from the very beginning was bad, I would understand what you mean hear..." Boring sex, to me, would be an indication that THE END was many moons before."

However,( and this is just me, it seems) I don't see how that fits with the context of Sweetapples question.

Sweets question: Does boring sex signify the end?

Implication: Sex was good in the beginning, but it's dead and boring now. Does this mean the relationship is coming to an end or that the relationship is over?

Your response to the question: "Boring sex, to me, would be an indication that THE END was many moons before."

Implication: Bad sex has nothing to do with the end, although the sex was good in the begining.

MY thoughts based on the above, Bad sex has nothing to do with the end then.

Which brings us full circle to what you had stated about never having boring sex ever, yet you and your partner knew it was over but you didn't see any reason why that would affect the enjoyment of the sex you and your partner had. Hence, your relationships never ended on the basis that the sex was boring.

Which is why I told Sweets, present boring sex may be the result of a breakdown in communication. What I was implying is that the fun and enjoyment of sex could probably be revitalized, if somehow the communication is revitalized.


Astrologer4U

Hmmmm Sister Astrologer4U ... i appreciate the clarification, and can only hope i'm understanding it properly!

I'm of the opinion, that if everything is as it should be in the relationship ... the sex will be great!

That's how it's always been for me. By the time the sex gets bad, it means that a WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER THINGS have been bad, for a whole long time ... and yes ... it has probably now began to manifest itself on the sex as well.

I don't usually wait for the whole building to come crashing down on me.

I don't wait until every single thing has died, before i realize that i'm in a dying relationship, and need to get out.

So no, i've not seen a lot of "bad sex days."

I do believe my response was within context ... for to me ... bad sex would mean that the relationship was over, long ago.

By the time the sex gets bad ... yeah ... most everything else (the relationship) been dead a long time.

Let me know if i've answered your question Sister.

Love You!

:heart:

Destee

Hmmmm Sister Astrologer4U ... i appreciate the clarification, and can only hope i'm understanding it properly!

I'm of the opinion, that if everything is as it should be in the relationship ... the sex will be great!

That's how it's always been for me. By the time the sex gets bad, it means that a WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER THINGS have been bad, for a whole long time ... and yes ... it has probably now began to manifest itself on the sex as well.

I don't usually wait for the whole building to come crashing down on me.

I don't wait until every single thing has died, before i realize that i'm in a dying relationship, and need to get out.

So no, i've not seen a lot of "bad sex days."

I do believe my response was within context ... for to me ... bad sex would mean that the relationship was over, long ago.

By the time the sex gets bad ... yeah ... most everything else (the relationship) been dead a long time.

Let me know if i've answered your question Sister.

Love You!

:heart:

Destee


Yes you did Destee, thanks!


Love you too...smooches



Sister

Astrologer4U

But, is it the end....... hmmm??? NOT! :whip:

Sex is the best thing since sliced bread!

But, is it the end....... hmmm??? NOT! :whip:



free2b me,

Thought you had a headache:). How can you speak on this subject feeling bad:) JK

Thought you had a headache
that the oldest line in the book....

you folks place way too much importance on sex.....

Tell them again james, they need to know that my Brother! You have my support, as meager as it is!