I was talking to a friend and she was telling me she couldn't understand how another friend could put up with her husband who cheated on her continuously. I reminded her that she put up with her own husband who lied to her continuously. She informed me that she found a liar much easier to tolerate than a cheater.

what sayest thou, fambly? Could you put up with a spouse who only lied to you about the things you wanted him/her to lie about.

I assume you mean a cheater as in infidelity.. sexual nature.

regardless, I think a cheater is a liar no matter how you look at it - and a liar is a cheater, robbing me of truth.

I have a very low tolerance for both - equally.

Sister Zulile, a cheater is a liar, and a liar cheats you from the truth; so they are one and the same.

I assume you mean a cheater as in infidelity.. sexual nature.

regardless, I think a cheater is a liar no matter how you look at it - and a liar is a cheater, robbing me of truth.

I have a very low tolerance for both - equally.

:bingo:

i see where the lady is taking this knowing he "only cheats" she knows that's all she has to worry about but to me that's all of worrying, and the liar is infinite

either way i couldn't be bothered with either

Cheating and lieing are two different things; If they were the same, there would not be two different words to descibe the acts. I prefer a cheater because then if he doesn't lie, he would tell me that he cheated and I could run away from him, change my number and move out of the state! The biggest insult is to insult my intelligence. Denying infidelity, when I plainly can sense that he did cheat, is a huge slap in the face. What happens if they lie to you, and you accept their words and build a family with them? The family would suffer because eventually that person would cheat again, you would be depressed, and because of your depression be an unsuitable parent for your children, and they will then be affected emotionally by your bad parenting and a broken home and would grow up to be all messed up and you the adult, wife/husband, parent would be miserable, have low self esteem, regret and hate in your heart. Trust me a cheater who does not lie about their actions is a whole lot better becuase with that information you have control and can make the descision if you want to deal with that nonsense or have a happier and a more fulfilling life with another person. I rather have a cheater and not be with someone who lies to me for years and when the truth is known, I become devastated becuase I was wrongfully denied TRUTHFUL information.

I was talking to a friend and she was telling me she couldn't understand how another friend could put up with her husband who cheated on her continuously. I reminded her that she put up with her own husband who lied to her continuously. She informed me that she found a liar much easier to tolerate than a cheater.

what sayest thou, fambly? Could you put up with a spouse who only lied to you about the things you wanted him/her to lie about.

What? This convo is very "interesting" to me.

Cheating and Lying is the same thing! If I'm married to someone, and we have an "open" relationship. Then if I have sex with someone else, It's not Cheating! If I am a Cheater.. then I must have given the indication that I was going to be faithful.. which clearly means that I have LIED!

So how can somebody prefer a liar over a cheater??????? :jawdrop: River.. you should tell your friend to go home and tell her to ask her husband, "Do you cheat on me?" And when he says no, HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S NOT LYING? After all HE IS A LIAR!

And when she says, "He only lies about certain things"... The next question will be.. HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? .. Maybe he wants you to think he only lies about certain things, after all... THAT'S WHAT LIARS DO!.. THEY LIE (which means to deceive)! This sounds like a case of the dreaded denial disease called,

"I think that I'm intellectually superior to him and therefore I always know when he is lying"

This dis-ease has been known to cause broken hearts, feelings, families and subsequently innocent brothas who come thereafter.

Now on to what Alicia was saying. I don't see you prefering a cheater over a liar (though I see your point).

If a person makes a mistake (flesh is weak... whateva) and feels bad about it, and comes back and tells you, that person is not a "cheater" A "cheater" is someone who does this in a premeditated fashion.

Also, If a person is cheating on you, and then comes right back and tells you about it, then they aren't a cheater either. They just don't believe in being faithful! In that case you should run! But, if they are really "cheating", then they Won't tell you. After all, that is the whole purpose! That's why they call it "cheating"

Cheating? Lying? It's all the same thang!

I disagree with you.

At this moment:

- if a person cheats, they have cheated, therefore is a cheater. Just because they apologize does not erase the act.

- if a person lies, they have lied, therefore is a liar. Just because they apologize does not erase the act.

- if a person jogs, they have jogged, therefore is a jogger. Just because they stopped does not erase the act.

- if a person murders, they have murdered, therefore is a murder. Just because they repent does not erase the act.

The question is, “Would you prefer a liar or a cheater?” If I could make the choice in which act I would prefer my partner perform, (if those were my only options), it would be the act of a cheater. If a person is in a relationship with another and they cheat on their partner, it does not matter if they apologize they are still a cheater. Your definition of cheater and mine are completely different. The type of person you are describing is a sociopath, which is a person whose character consists, of both, but is not limited to, being a cheater and liar.

According to www.dictionary.com

Cheater: 1. a person that cheats

Liar: a person who tells lies

sociopath: a person, as a psychopathic personality, whose behavior is antisocial and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.


No where in the definition of a Cheater does it say someone who cheats but if they sorry that means they are no longer a cheater....

i don't deal with people who cannot be honest with me.....

I was talking to a friend and she was telling me she couldn't understand how another friend could put up with her husband who cheated on her continuously. I reminded her that she put up with her own husband who lied to her continuously. She informed me that she found a liar much easier to tolerate than a cheater.

what sayest thou, fambly? Could you put up with a spouse who only lied to you about the things you wanted him/her to lie about.

It comes down to the definition of the word "liar" and the definition of the word "cheater".

A liar is a cheater and a cheater is a liar. One uses speech (liar) and the other uses action (cheater) but with both or either the effect is deception.

I disagree with you.

At this moment:

- if a person cheats, they have cheated, therefore is a cheater. Just because they apologize does not erase the act.

- if a person lies, they have lied, therefore is a liar. Just because they apologize does not erase the act.

- if a person jogs, they have jogged, therefore is a jogger. Just because they stopped does not erase the act.

- if a person murders, they have murdered, therefore is a murder. Just because they repent does not erase the act.

The question is, “Would you prefer a liar or a cheater?” If I could make the choice in which act I would prefer my partner perform, (if those were my only options), it would be the act of a cheater. If a person is in a relationship with another and they cheat on their partner, it does not matter if they apologize they are still a cheater. Your definition of cheater and mine are completely different. The type of person you are describing is a sociopath, which is a person whose character consists, of both, but is not limited to, being a cheater and liar.

Let me ask you this.

Have you ever lied? IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE... ONCE? Because if so, by your definition, you are a LIAR.

Have you ever done anything bad ever? IN YOUR LIFE... ONCE? Then you are a Bad person who does Bad Things?

According to www.dictionary.com

Cheater: 1. a person that cheats

Liar: a person who tells lies

sociopath: a person, as a psychopathic personality, whose behavior is antisocial and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.


No where in the definition of a Cheater does it say someone who cheats but if they sorry that means they are no longer a cheater....

These definitions prove my point.

A Cheater is a person who cheats! Not a person who has EVER cheated... even once.

A Liar is a person who Tells LIES! Not a person who has ever told a lie.

A Sociopath is a Liar or a Cheater who is Psycho to the point of not thinking that this anti-social behavior is wrong!

You can't define a person by something they have done. You can't erase an act, but one act doesn't define a person. What I was saying in my previous post, was that everyone makes mistakes. There is a difference between someone who makes a mistake (which is all of us) and someone who does something premeditated. You can't define someone by one action, because if so, WE ALL would be Liars, cheaters, thieves, yuck-mouths, and basically anti-social people.

This brings me to my original point. A cheater and a liar are one in the same, in that they are BOTH liars. Lying IS cheating, and cheating IS lying. I can't see preferring one over the other.

as Brother Edwards put it so nicely:

One uses speech (liar) and the other uses action (cheater) but with both or either the effect is deception.

:darts:

as Brother Edwards put it so nicely:

One uses speech (liar) and the other uses action (cheater) but with both or either the effect is deception.

:darts:

We don't need a lot of words to try to "show-off" what we know and attempt to belittle each other by attempting to "show-off" what they don't know.

Neither a liar or a cheater is better than the other and niether of them are worse than the other because they are both the same. They are both the same because they are doing the same thing. They are doing the same thing because with both the result or the effect is the same. Deception.

You can pretty much close this thread unless somebody wants to "show-off".

Edward Williams, you are great...

Brown H0rnet, ...I still don't agree with you ... I guess we won't ever see eye to eye...

We don't need a lot of words to try to "show-off" what we know and attempt to belittle each other by attempting to "show-off" what they don't know.

Neither a liar or a cheater is better than the other and niether of them are worse than the other because they are both the same. They are both the same because they are doing the same thing. They are doing the same thing because with both the result or the effect is the same. Deception.

You can pretty much close this thread unless somebody wants to "show-off".

it warms my heart each time i see someone using logical deduction on this site...props brother e...

one love
khasm

Cheating and lieing are two different things;


Cheating? Lying? It's all the same thang![/B]


A liar is a cheater and a cheater is a liar.

Edward Williams, you are great...

Brown H0rnet, ...I still don't agree with you ... I guess we won't ever see eye to eye...

what did I miss? :10500::

I was talking to a friend and she was telling me she couldn't understand how another friend could put up with her husband who cheated on her continuously. I reminded her that she put up with her own husband who lied to her continuously. She informed me that she found a liar much easier to tolerate than a cheater.

what sayest thou, fambly? Could you put up with a spouse who only lied to you about the things you wanted him/her to lie about.




Great thread Family! Very good read.

what did I miss? :10500::

It comes down to the definition of the word "liar" and the definition of the word "cheater".

A liar is a cheater and a cheater is a liar. One uses speech (liar) and the other uses action (cheater) but with both or either the effect is deception.


sociopath: a person, as a psychopathic personality, whose behavior is antisocial and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.


No where in the definition of a Cheater does it say someone who cheats but if they sorry that means they are no longer a cheater....


First off....BlacKTasTic Catch SiS Zulile!:toast:

From a Mental/Behavioral Health Context, what makes a "sociopath" a sociopath is the absence of FEELINGS.
What is wedged between this thinking (speech=verbally expressed thought which is also an action...the opening of mouth etc...) and behaving (cheating or lying) is FEELINGS. The FEELINGS felt by the receiver of said speech and action.

THINK how you would FEEL if someone ACTed towards you what you are about to DO. Remember, "saying" is an action. What you SAY or don't say.

When people FEEL hurt....they move away.....as in ...leave.


M.E.
:hearts2:

Yes there is fine line between cheating and lying. It's like Brown Hornet said a belief that one always knows when the other is lying. Would you vote for a politician who you always know when he is lying so he can't tell any lies you don't know about? You tell yourself.

Technically someone with a bird's eye view say an overhead narrator can know when the character in the story is lying. But from a practical standpoint in a real life relationship the line that divides them is an imaginary line with nothing to prevent a person from slipping to the other side other than your emotional need to believe that he/she won't.

It's one thing to answer a hypothetical question in a discussion forum but when you try to live a hypothetical life you could run into problems that aren't so hypothetical.

Tell that lying cheater to get out and find a good man that is about your family first and HOPEFULLY he is about Black folks and our survial. WE as black people dont have time for silly trival discussion like..liars and cheaters. I hope you take this like its given and that is with Love and Respect.
:love:

Tell that lying cheater to get out and find a good man that is about your family first and HOPEFULLY he is about Black folks and our survial. WE as black people dont have time for silly trival discussion like..liars and cheaters. I hope you take this like its given and that is with Love and Respect.
:love:

Yes I take it as it was given, Linda. Much love and respect for you as well. I started this thread because just the fact that this otherwise intelligent woman would say her lying husband was preferable to someone else's cheating husband made me think that just because the issue is obvious to some doesn't mean it's obvious to everyone. I did it more for our young members to explore the questions that we take for granted.

They both carry the same weight and both harmful to any relationship or marriage
and noone should accept it for problem will stir the pot and bring hardship and none
loyality to it's fold.

Hmmm... that would be difficult to swallow.
Liar, cheater... IMO, you can't be one without the other.

When some of us are not ready to let someone we love go,
it is very easy to make our situation tolerable.

The mind and how it works, or how we work it...
is very interesting.


Peace,
Coco

I assume you mean a cheater as in infidelity.. sexual nature.

regardless, I think a cheater is a liar no matter how you look at it - and a liar is a cheater, robbing me of truth.

I have a very low tolerance for both - equally.

my setiments exactly..

i think thery're 1 in the same