Fam,

What do you all think about Will and Jada's open marriage? They got the concept from Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis who had a very successful OPEN marriage.

I, personally, think it is the way to go. If you and your partner can be unselfish enough to discuss ANYTHING and willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING, including your socialization of how marriage should be, then you TRULY have love.

Monogomy is a modern (white man) contruct that doesn't work if you look at the stats.

Logically speaking, an open marriage makes sense rather than going behind each others back and bringing distrust into the marriage.

I know that I could not have an "open" marriage like that. I see "Open marriage" as people basically just wanting to satisfy their desires.... just wanna get their freak on with other people. Whereas polygamy is not about that when practiced properly. I've thought about a polygamous marriage and personally, I can see myself in a polygamous marriage setting (not open marriage) simply because I know that I am mature enough to overstand the importance of nation building. This does not mean sex & having babies per se but about supporting each other economically, mentally, financially, spiritually etc. It would be easier to share the household chores, raise the children together, keep the bills down, homeschool the children if they so wish, etc while the man does what he is suppose to be doing and that is not just taking care of his family but also busying himself with breaking down the injustices of society and instilling justice.

In this western society we are reared to be emotional about everything. For a brother to be in a polygamous marriage, (not an open marriage) he would have to be of a high caliber intellectually and spiritually. Not all brothers can handle or overstand what a polygamous marriage truly entails which is why it is easier for them to have an open marriage with no strings attached. Same goes for sisters too who want open marriages.

I remember watching a lil video on one of our ancestors Fela Kuti who had many many wives. It was interesting how the wives all tended to each other by doing each others hair etc like true sisters with no room for jealousy or envy of the attention and affection from their husband. Fela Kuti said that the Afrikan tribe he belonged to in NIgeria, his people were not raised to be jealous of one another like that. He said that the Western world was full of hypocrisy and deceit and how the husbands have to sneak around behind their wives back to have sex with other women. He said he could not understand why the men did that when all they had to do was have these women as their wives and bring them to live in the home....lol. Thats real. But Fela Kuti had a whole lotta wives. Not sure how many. It is said that most of the women he married were women who he rescued from poverty, homelessness and prostitution and became dancers in his group etc. However, he eventually died of a strain of HIV.

Peace, love, light...
1UL

ain't dis supposed to be in relationships?

Logically speaking, an open marriage makes sense rather than going behind each others back and bringing distrust into the marriage.

I know that I could not have an "open" marriage like that. I see "Open marriage" as people basically just wanting to satisfy their desires.... just wanna get their freak on with other people. Whereas polygamy is not about that when practiced properly. I've thought about a polygamous marriage and personally, I can see myself in a polygamous marriage setting (not open marriage) simply because I know that I am mature enough to overstand the importance of nation building. This does not mean sex & having babies per se but about supporting each other economically, mentally, financially, spiritually etc. It would be easier to share the household chores, raise the children together, keep the bills down, homeschool the children if they so wish, etc while the man does what he is suppose to be doing and that is not just taking care of his family but also busying himself with breaking down the injustices of society and instilling justice.

In this western society we are reared to be emotional about everything. For a brother to be in a polygamous marriage, (not an open marriage) he would have to be of a high caliber intellectually and spiritually. Not all brothers can handle or overstand what a polygamous marriage truly entails which is why it is easier for them to have an open marriage with no strings attached. Same goes for sisters too who want open marriages.

I remember watching a lil video on one of our ancestors Fela Kuti who had many many wives. It was interesting how the wives all tended to each other by doing each others hair etc like true sisters with no room for jealousy or envy of the attention and affection from their husband. Fela Kuti said that the Afrikan tribe he belonged to in NIgeria, his people were not raised to be jealous of one another like that. He said that the Western world was full of hypocrisy and deceit and how the husbands have to sneak around behind their wives back to have sex with other women. He said he could not understand why the men did that when all they had to do was have these women as their wives and bring them to live in the home....lol. Thats real. But Fela Kuti had a whole lotta wives. Not sure how many. It is said that most of the women he married were women who he rescued from poverty, homelessness and prostitution and became dancers in his group etc. However, he eventually died of a strain of HIV.

Peace, love, light...
1UL

With Polyamory being illegal in America, aren't we left with open marriage as our only option?

Has it been seven years already? My time must really fly when your having fun.

It's the best way and should be the only way in a marriage or relationship where
true love is involved.

With Polyamory being illegal in America, aren't we left with open marriage as our only option?

Recently, from what I understand, Will & Jada do not have an open marriage. The media as usual took everything he said out of context.

In answer to your question, Christianity may not allow polygamy but that does not mean to say that other religions/faiths do not. Here in the UK(KK) and USA I know polygamy is practiced, the only difference is that they don't have a marriage license that the so-called systems says is required to prove a marriage etc. As with the system, just like this world, I live in it but am not of it....well to a certain degree...lol.

To me open marriage means having sex with different people to satisfy one's desires with no strings attached. What about commitment in marriage and the vows you take? If you want an open marriage then why get married in the first place is my question?

Peace, love, light...

[QUOTE=soulosophy;528425]Recently, from what I understand, Will & Jada do not have an open marriage. The media as usual took everything he said out of context.

I agree, from the quotes I've read the media has distorted their relationship.
I used to think that as mankind progressed we ought to take out marriage "leases" that would be renewable. This is a little tongue in cheek, but I'm having fun with it. To see if the partnership would work you could try out a 5 year period, and if everyone was happy go for longer 10, or 20. After 20 if you stay together you don't have to bother to renew.

There would be no need for divorce because you just wait until the time expires, say goodbye on friendly terms and part ways. In regards to money and paternity issues the guidelines would be laid out in advance in relation to the extent of the lease.

Agreed.

I saw them on Oprah and they were saying that they had an open communication style. They talked about and discussed everything. They said that was the key to their marriage.

I read an intervew with Ruby Dee after her husband died. She said that they had an open marriage in the 60's but that that aspect of their relationship didn't work out, so they discontinued it. I saved the article itself, but not the source of the article.

[QUOTE=soulosophy;528425]Recently, from what I understand, Will & Jada do not have an open marriage. The media as usual took everything he said out of context.

I agree, from the quotes I've read the media has distorted their relationship.
I used to think that as mankind progressed we ought to take out marriage "leases" that would be renewable. This is a little tongue in cheek, but I'm having fun with it. To see if the partnership would work you could try out a 5 year period, and if everyone was happy go for longer 10, or 20. After 20 if you stay together you don't have to bother to renew.

There would be no need for divorce because you just wait until the time expires, say goodbye on friendly terms and part ways. In regards to money and paternity issues the guidelines would be laid out in advance in relation to the extent of the lease.


It's interesting that you mention about some kind of marriage renewal. In Shi'a Islam there are two types of marriages:

i) Permanent marriage
This marriage is forever or till death do you part etc.

ii) Fixed-time/temporary marriage
This matrimonial relation is contracted by both parties where they decide how long they wish to remain married from one day, to a month, to 5 years etc. However, the period fixed should not exceed the span of normal lives of the spouses, or the marriage will be classed as a permanent one.

In a temporary marriage though, a woman is not entitled to subsistence from her temporary husband even if she becomes pregnant.

There a a lot of stipulations in terms of paternity, inheritance, etc to a temporary marriage if followed from certain Islamic Laws, and the husband seems to have more rights. However, both parties can also stipulate what they require in the marriage.

Peace...

Fam,

What do you all think about Will and Jada's open marriage? They got the concept from Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis who had a very successful OPEN marriage.

I, personally, think it is the way to go. If you and your partner can be unselfish enough to discuss ANYTHING and willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING, including your socialization of how marriage should be, then you TRULY have love.

Monogomy is a modern (white man) contruct that doesn't work if you look at the stats.

A007,

What do you mean when you say "open marriage"?

What do you mean when you say "open marriage"?

http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GZAZ,GZAZ:2008-22,GZAZ:en&q=open+marriage