The three words we hear most when we, black (non-white) males and females, are in the process of breaking up are "I didn't know". And the reason we didn't know is because we didn't ask enough questions before we made it to the bedroom. Sex, for many of us, results in us compromising our principles. Although many of us will not admit it, we act it out.

I didn't know that would make you mad. I didn't know every year you take $5,000.00 out of the account and go to Vegas with your girlfriends. I didn't know you want me to do that with you. I didn't know you'd be hanging out all hours of the night with your boys.

Folowing that logic, before we make it to the bedroom to engage in sexual intercourse, we should ask and answer all of the questions that are important for us to know and important for the other person to know. This, of course, is gonna slow everything down and for some of us will be extremely difficult to put that desire or attraction on hold until the questions get answered. I've had females who want to keep me up all night to answer all of my questions just so that we could "get busy" as soon as possible. Incidentally, there should be no time limit imposed on how long it takes for a male and female to get these questions asked and answered, or which questions should be asked, or how many questions should be asked. That is left up to the two people asking and answering the questions.

Myself and other non-white males and non-white females constructed a list of over 500 questions that other non-white males and females can pick and choose to ask and answer when in discussions with each other that are designed to aid us in finding out the information that is pertinent to us as individuals before partaking in sexual intercourse with each other. Please use this list at your discretion. I only ask that if you have a question that is not on the list please add your question ot the list.

The list of questions and the discussion surrounding building the list can be found on the Counter-Racism Work/Study Project under the Sex under White Supremacy (Racism) forum. The name of the thread is;

Questions A VOR Asks A VOR Before Sexual Intercourse (http://www.counter-racism.com/cgi-bin/work-study/viewtopic.php?t=143)

These questions are aimed at keeping non-white males and females in good partnering relationships by preventing surprises that routinely end good constructive partnerships between black males and black females. The focus is on the process for getting us together and keeping us together in good constructive partnerships. Most of the questions are listed below. The process should be that if the male and female are looking to have sexual intercourse they should be looking to be in a long term partnering relationship...an idea that doesn't appear to matter to a lotta people these days.

To add questions please go to the Questions A VOR Asks A VOR Before Sexual Intercourse (http://www.counter-racism.com/cgi-bin/work-study/viewtopic.php?t=143) thread and add the questions you have either asked someone else, some else has asked you, or questions you think should be asked by black males and black females to eahc other before they engage in sexual intercourse. The idea is not to ask all of the questions. Just ask the ones you think are necesary before you engage in sexual intercourse.

Here we go...

(1) What is your name?
(2) Are you married?
(3) Do you have any children?
(4) How many children do you have?
(5) What are the names of your children?
(6) Do you have a job?
(7) How much money do you make?
(8) Do you have an automobile?
(9) Have you ever had any diseases?
(10) Do you now or have you ever had sexual intercourse with a white person?
(11) If you have had sexual intercourse with a white person, when did it happen?
(12) If you have had sexual intercourse with a white person, where did it happen?
(13) If you have had sexual intercourse with a white person, how many times did it happen?
(14) If you have had sexual intercourse with a white person, what was the person(s) names?
(15) Do you have a phone number?
(16) Do you still live with your parents?
(17) Do you now or have you ever engaged in "anti-sexual" activities? Meaning males with males or females with females.
(18) If you have engaged in "anti-sexual" activities, how many times?
(19) If you have had sexual intercourse with a white person, what specific sex actions were performed?
(20) If you have had sexual intercourse with a white person, how many times were those specific sex actions were performed?
(21) If you have engaged in "anti-sexual" activities, when did it happen?
(22) If you have engaged in "anti-sexual" activities, where did it happen?
(23) If you have engaged in "anti-sexual" activities, what was the person(s) names?
(24) If you have engaged in "anti-sexual" activities, what specific "anti-sex" actions were performed?
(25) If you have engaged in "anti-sexual" activities, how many times were those specific "anti-sex" actions were performed?
(26) Do you now or have you ever engaged in "anti-sexual" activities with an animal?
(27) Do you now or have you ever watched other people engaging in sexual and/or "anti-sexual" activities?
(28) If you do watch other people engaging in sexual and/or "anti-sexual" activities, are any of those people ever children?
(29) Do you now or have you ever used any item during sexual activities and/or "anti-sexual" activities that are not currently attached to your body?
(30) Are you parents living?
(31) How many siblings do you have?
(32) What is your favorite color?
(33) Why is that color your favorite color?
(34) Do you exercise?
(35) Do you like sexual intercourse more than twice a week?
(36) How many times a week do you like sexual intercourse if more than twice a week?
(37) What exercises do you like to do and why?
(38) If you have siblings, are you the youngest? Oldest? Middle? Where do you fit in?
(39) Do you invest in stocks, mutual funds, or bonds?
(40) What schools did you attend?
(41) Were you part of any "organizations" while in school?
(42) What is the name of your religion?
(43) What does you religion require you to do in all areas of people activity?
(44) What does your religion require you to do in your interaction with me, on a day-to-day level?
(45) Do you now or have you ever killed anyone?
(46) Is anyone looking for you?
(47) Have you ever been to jail?
(48) If you have been to jail, what were you charged with?
(49) If you have been to jail, how long did you remain in jail?
(50) Do you smoke?
(51) Do you drink alcoholic beverages?
(52) Do you eat or like meat?
(53) For males asking females: Have you ever beat or abused a male?
(54) For females asking males: Have you ever beat or abused a female?
(55) Have you ever been a victim of or perpetrator of incest?
(56) Do you know how to cook,clean and sew?
(57) Do you wash between your toes when you bathe or shower?
(58) Male asking female: When you have a bowel movement, do you wipe from frint to back or back to front?
(59) Do you take a bath or shower every day?
(60) How often do you brush your teeth?
(61) Do you use Listerine or some other mouthwash after every brushing of your teeth?
(62) How often do you clean your ears?
(63) When you clean your ears, do you use a Q-Tip and alcohol>
(64) How often do you wash your hair? (If the person has hair)
(65) Do you snore?
(66) Do you use deodorant everyday?
(67) How often do you clip your nose hair?
(68) Are you on time? (punctual)
(69) When was the last time you had a physical?
(70) Male asking Female: When was the last time you saw a gynecologist and what was the result of the visit?
(71) Do you have AIDS or HIV?
(72) Do you have Syphilis?
(73) Have you ever been diagnosed with any form of mental illness?
(74) Are you now or have you ever been a woman/man? (question posed to the apparent opposite sex)
(75) What is the worst thing someone could call you?
(76) If someone called you the worst name you could think of, what wuold you do?
(77) Are you now or have you ever been an agent for any organizations, i.e. CIA, FBI, Mossad, etc...
(78) What is the freakiest thing you've ever done sexually?
(79) What is the freakiest thing you'd like to do sexually?
(80) Would you want ME to participate in this most freaky activity with you?
(81) How often is it necessary for you to engage in sexual intercourse?
(82) How often would you want me to engage you in sexual lintercourse?
(83) Are you now, or have you ever had sexual intercourse with more than one person?
(84) If so, why did you do it, if not why not?
(85) What is your greatest weakness?
(86) What is your greatest strength?
(87) What do you perceive in you sexual partner as desirable?
(88) Do you see me as desirable as a sexual partner?
(89) What is your intention is engaging me in sexual intercourse?
(90) Do you like horror movies?
(91) Do you like action movies?
(92) Do you watch soap operas?
(93) Do you wear hair in your head that does not grow out of your scalp?
(94) Do you wear fake fingernails and/or toenails?
(95) What foods don't you like?
(96) Do you smoke marijuana?
(97) Do you take drugs of any kind if so which ones?
(98) Do you take vitamins?
(99) Do you perform oral sex?
(100) When was the last time you performed oral sex?
(101) Who did you perform oral sex on? Under what conditions?
(102) Do you believe in the existence of Racism/White Supremacy? If so, why and if not, why not?
(103) Do you think that you should work to eliminate Racism/White Supremacy? If so, what are some things that you could say or do to eliminate Racism/White Supremacy. If not, why don't you think you shouldn't help to eliminate Racism/White Supremacy.
(104) How many people have you engaged in sexual intercourse with?
(105) How many times have you engaged in sexual intercourse?
(106) What kind of music do you usually listen to?
(107) How much time do you spend listening to recorded music per week?
(108) How loud do you listen to music?
(109) What is your credit rating?
(110) Do you or any of your close relatives who engage in activities which put you or them at increased risk of greater confinemment?
(111) Do you have any fetish(s) to frequently engage in sex with items that are not part of the a person's body? If so, please describe the activity.
(112) Do you have any fetish(s) do frequently engage in exclusive sex with one part of a person's body? If so, please describe that activity.
(113) How often do you thoroughly clean your bathroom?
(114) What are you willing to die for?
(115) What are the three books you've read that have most influenced your behavior?
(116) Do you do things for no reason?
(117) What are you doing to improve yourself spiritually?
(118) What are you doing to improve yourself financially?
(119) What are you doing to improve yourself physically?
(120) What type of automobile do you drive?
(121) Do you always do what you say?
(122) When were you born?
(123) Do you go to nightclubs?
(124) How often do you go to nightclubs?
(125) Do you like to go camping?
(126) Do you like to go bowling?
(127) Do you skate? (roller-skate)
(128) Do you use coupons when you shop for groceries?
(129) Do you buy “name-brand” items when you shop for groceries or do you price-competitively shop?
(130) Do you try to reveal truth at all times?
(131) Do you try things to see what you can get away with when learning someone else’s personality?
(132) Do you pay your bills on the due date, a few days before the due date, or when you get the bill in the mail?
(133) How often do you buy clothes?
(134) Do you play any sports?
(135) Do you have any physical defects?
(136) Do you masturbate?
(137) Are you ever depressed?
(138) Do you see yourself as a “moody” person?
(139) Do you date other men when you are in a “relationship” with a man?
(140) Do you kiss, hug, have sexual intercourse with, go to lunch with, talk on the phone with, and/or see on a regular basis, other males when you are in a “relationship” with a male? (replace "male" with "female" if female is asking question)
(141) If you do kiss, hug, have sexual intercourse with, go to lunch with, talk on the phone with, and/or see on a regular basis, other males when you are in a “relationship” with a male, how does that help your “relationship” with the male you are in a “relationship” with? (replace "male" with "female" if female is asking question)
(142) Do you have “male friends”? (replace "male" with "female" if female is asking question)
(143) What do you and your “male friends” say to each other? (replace "male" with "female" if female is asking question)
(144) What do you and your “male friends” do to or with each other? (replace "male" with "female" if female is asking question)
(145) What one person in your life influenced you most to say an/or do constructive things?
(146) Do you have a menstrual cycle?
(147) Are you physically capable of producing offspring?
(148) Do you mean what you say and say what you mean?
(149) Do you want to produce offspring in the future?
(150) How much do you weigh?
(151) What is your age?
(152) How tall are you in feet and inches?
(153) What date were you born? (year, month, day, time)
(154) Do you pick your nose around other people?
(155) Do you tell your “friends” about things that happen between you and your mate?
(156) What do you tell your “friends” about things that happen between you and your mate?
(157) For what purpose do you tell your “friends” about things that happen between you and your mate?
(158) Do you stay out late at night without your mate when you are in a “relationship”?
(160) Do you go out at night without your mate when you are in a “relationship”?
(161) Where do you go out at night and with who do you go out at night with, without you mate, when you are in a “relationship”?
(162) Do you take any “medications”?
(163) Do you change the color of your hair from the natural color? Why?
(164) Do you live in a house or an apartment?
(165) How many credit cards do you have?
(166) Are you allergic to anything? If so what?
(167) What is your favorite restaurant?
(168) How many times a week do you like to eat out?
(169) Do you talk about problems in an effort to solve the problem from the cause or do you attempt to treat the effect?
(170) Do you celebrate holidays?
(171) Do you have a problem with your mate celebrating holidays?
(172) Do you like suprises?
(173) Do you take any "Drug/s" un-willingly? If so, what type of drug/s do you take? How often do you take your (male/female) drug/s? Why do you take (these/this) drug/s? When did you start taking (these/this) drug/s? Do you like taking (these/this) drug/s (In response to the second question)?
(174) Do you now, have you ever, or will you ever breast feed your child in the event you have offspring?
(175) Are you jealous?
(176) Would you harm yourself or me if this relationship were to end? Why or why not?
(177) Name 5-10 very important qualities you look for in a female/male?
(178) Why do you consider these qualities important?
(179) Why do you want to have sex ?
(180) What is your reason for having sex with me? (No flattery or compliments allowed. )
(181) Are you looking for a husband?
(182) What does a female who is looking for a husband do that a female that is not looking for a husband do?
(183) Where does a female who is looking for a husband go that a female that is not looking for a husband go?
(184) What does a female who is looking for a husband say that a female that is not looking for a husband say?
(185) Are you looking for a wife?
(186) Why are you looking for a wife?
(187) Why do you want a wife as a opposed to a girlfriend?
(188) Would you help raise and support financially any offspring you have with a female? If not, why not?
(189) Would you "legally" "marry" the female you want to be your wife?
(190) Describe the relationship you have/had with your mother?
(191) Describe the relationship you have/had with your father?
(192) Describe the relationship you have/had with your brothers/sisters if you have any?
(193) Do you want your wife to work outside the home, inside the home or both?
(194) Do you want your offspring to attend school or be educated and trained in the home?
(195) Name ten things you would NOT do to me if I became your wife
(196) Do you expect a female to act as mother towards you? If so, why?
(197) *Is "Sex" nessary nowadays?
(198) *Do you have "male/female friends"? How many?
(199) *What is Love? How do you apply it in everyday situations?
(200) Describe the words "Life", "God", and "Justice". How would you apply them in everyday situations?
(201) When was the last time you cried and what brought it on?
(202) Have you ever had an abortion?
(203) Have you ever supported anyone else, in any shape or form that had an abortion?
(204) Do you now, have you ever, or will you ever participate in an orgy?
(205) Do you now or will you ever have sexual intercourse and/or sexual play with anyone other than me?
(206) Do you say and/or do things with your mate that has non-constructive outcomes to learn things about how they react to certain situations?
(207) Have you ever taken picture of a child with no clothes on? What were the circumstances surrounding you taking pictures of a child with no clothes on?
(208) Have you ever taken videos of a child with no clothes on? What were the circumstances surrounding you taking videos of a child with no clothes on?
(209) Have you ever been photographed with no clothes on?
(210) Have you ever been videoed with no clothes on?
(211) Have you ever been in a video of a sexual nature?
(212) Have you ever been in photographs of a sexual nature?
(213) Are you adopted?
(214) Did you grow up in foster care? If yes, how did you end up there and talk in depth about the whole experience.
(215) Name 3 or 4 things you are insecure about? Give the reasons why you are insecure about those things.
(216) Do you own a gun? Do you have a license to own a gun? Why do you own a gun?
(217) Would you use your gun on me? Why or why not?
(218) How many offspring do you want to have and when?
(219) What does your choice of musical sounds cause you to think of most?
(220) What is your greatest flaw?
(221) What are your 3 best skills?
(222) After we have asked each other all these questions and then some, are we going to pursue sexual intercourse right away or are we going to attempt marriage and then have sexual intercourse?
(223) What will you do after I have sexual intercourse with you?
(224) Do you now or will you ever spank your children?
(225) Do you now or will you ever save money for your child's extended education?
(226) Do you want children in the future?
(227) At what age do you want yOur children (child) to start school?
(228) Do you plan on breast feeding yOur children?
(229) Are you going to be a "stay-at-home" mother?
(230) Will you agree to having yOur child skip grade levels if yOur child is "smarter" than the other children in their class room?
(231) Do you have any issues with having either a son or daughter?
(232) Do you have a preference of birthing a son or daughter?
(233) Do you now or will you ever take any vacations at any time that do not include some or all parts of your immediate "family" (mate, offspring)?
(234) Will you work extensively and exhaustively with yOur mate ("husband or "wife") to make sure yOur children understand all of the obstacles against them in their existence in this SYSTEM of injustice?
(235) Will you be involved with having "the sex talk" with yOur mate and your children?
(236) Will you attend PTA meetings?
(237) Will you help yOur children to understand why the SYSTEM of white supremacy (racism) must be replaced with a SYSTEM of justice?
(238) Will you help yOur children do their homework and help them to understand why it is important to do their homework?
(239) Will you ever have someone else watch yOur children so you can do something that is not needed but wanted?
(240) Will you attend "church services" with yOur children?
(241) Why do you want to have offspring under the system of White Supremacy/Racism?
(242) Are you willing to protect your offspring and your mate?
(243) What are you willing to do protect your offspring and mate?
(244) Will you help in rearing your offspring or will that be left solely to me?
(245) If you have offspring from a previous relationship will you show favoritism towards them or will you show favoritism toward any offspring we may have?
(246) Are you a controlling or domineering?
(247) How do you handle stress or pressure?
(248) Are you "hot tempered"?
(249) Do you take responsibility for your health?
(251) Are you a workaholic? If so, why?
(252) Do you always speak (reveal) the Truth about all things? Why?
(253) Will you ever lie to or practice Deceit on (against) me? Why?
(254) Will you ever lie about anything? Why?
(255) Have you ever lied (in the past)? Why?
(256) Will you Always speak (reveal) the Truth (in future)? Why?
(257) What do you think about most often? Why?
(258) Have you ever fought in a war?
(259) How many languages do you speak? What are they?
(260) Have you ever taken martial arts?
(261) What do you like to do that you do well?
(262) What is your ultimate objective?
(263) What do you think my ultimate objective should be?
(264) In what ways should the accomplishment of your ultimate objective involve me, and in what ways should the accomplishment of my ultimate objective involve you, in which of the following areas of people activity: Economics, Education, Entertainment, Labor, Law, Politics, Religion, Sex, and/or War.
(265) Do you leave the dishes in the sink when you go to bed?
(266) Do you wash dishes by hand?
(267) Have you ever excepted money for sexual favors, and or sexual entertainment?
(268) Have you ever excepted gifts for sexual favors, and or sexual entertainment?
(269) Have you ever offered money for sexual favors, and or sexual entertainment?
(270) Have you ever offered gifts for sexual favors, and or sexual entertainment?
(271) If you decide you are ready for sexually activity with me before I am ready for sexual activity with you, how will that effect the relationship?
(272) Will you become angry or violent if I choose not to have sex with you?
(273) How long are you willing to wait for sexual activity with me?
(274) Have you ever been accused of date rape and or forcing yourself on the opposite sex?
(275) Have you every proceeded in sexual activity with a woman who said No but was physically submissive?Why?
(276) Have you every lied to receive sex? Why?
(277) What is your life's purpose? What do you do on a day to day basis to pursue that purpose?
(278) Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years? 10 years? 20 years?
(279) What did you want to be growing up? Did you achieve that goal? If not why? How has that effected you as an adult?
(280) What medications do you take and for what?
(281) How does that medication effect you on a day to day basis?
(282) How does this medication effect your behavior?
(283) Are you legally disabled? If so what specific disability?
(284) How does this disability effect you on a day to day basis?
(285) How does this disability effect your behavior?
(286) What accommodations are required for your specific disability?
(287) Will this disability require us to make specific accommodations during sex?
(288) Do you currently have any Degeneratory diseases or acute illnesses
(289) How does this disease or illness effect your behavior?
(290) Will it one day render you disabled?
(291) What accommodations have you made for your future care if this should happen?
(292) What accommodations will I have to make for this illness if we should be together?
(293) What are the chances of this disease being passed on to our offspring , if we should choose to have them?
(294) If you have been diagnosed with a mental condition, what was the condition?
(295) How long ago were you diagnosed?
(296) Do you currently take medication for this condition?
(297) Do you regularly see a doctor for this condition?
(298) How is this condition treated?
(299) How does this condition effect your behavior?
(300) What are the chances of that disease being passed on to our offspring , if we should choose to have them?
(301) Is the current name you use the name you were given at birth? If not why? Is this now your legal name? Do you go by any other aliases?
(302) Are you on parole?
(303) Have you ever been convicted of a felony?
(304) Have you ever been accused of stalking someone?
(305) Are you on speaking terms with ex-partners and/or ex-spouses?
(306) Are any of them currently stalking you or insisting on continuing a relationship?
(307) Is there anyone who may currently believe that they are in a relationship with you?
(308) Are they aware that you are now pursuing a possible relationship with someone else?
(309) How many times have you been married? Are you legally divorced from all of you previous spouses?
(310) Have you ever been sexually assaulted? (male and female) If so have you received treated for it?
(311) How has this assault effected you on a day to day basis?
(312) How has this assault effected your behavior?
(313) Have you received treated for any kind of sexual disfunction?
(314) Have you ever fantasized about someone of the same sex?
(315) Have you fantasized about sex with animals?
(316) Have you ever had a crush on someone of the same sex?
(317) Do you have to fantasize about unusual sexual activity (anti-sex, incest, bestiality, sex with inanimate objects, sex with a child, pain) in order to reach orgasm? Why? When did that behavior start?
Have you received treated for that behavior?
(318) Have you ever had sex with someone under 15 years younger or older than you? Why?
(319) Have you every had sex with someone who was a close relative? (1st or 2nd cousin etc..)
(320) Have you ever been accused a statutory rape? If so were you convicted? If so are you now registered with the national sex offenders list?
(321) Have you ever been accused of abusing a child? If so were you convicted? Are you now allowed to be around children?
(322) Is sex painful for you? Do you enjoy sexual activity? If not why?
(323) Do you regularly reach orgasm during sex?
(324) Do you require medication in order to achieve an erection?
(325) Do you require medication to reach arousal? (male to female)
(326) Do you require any kind of artificial lubrication in order to achieve sexual activity?
(327) Do you currently use any artifical means (such as a penile implant) to achieve an erection?
(328) Have you had any surgical procedures (hysterectomy or removal of cysts) that would effect intercourse or production of offspring?
(329) Do you prefer getting tested for HIV and other STDs, and then having a monogamous relationship, or using condoms each time we have sex?
(330) Have you ever had a sexual partner who had HIV or another STD?
(331) How long has it been since you've been tested for HIV and other STDs?
(332) How many sexual partners have you had since then?
(333) Have you ever had genital ulcers or warts?
(334) Do you have any STD symptoms - ulcers, warts, vaginal or penile discharge?
(335) Do you know how to tell if you are infected with an STD?
(336) Have you ever had anal sex? If so how often? Did you use a condom?
(337) Do you have regular menses?
(338) When was your last menstrual cycle?
(339) How many urinary tract infections have you had
(340) How many pairs of under ware do you have? (for women bra's and under ware) How often do you wash them?
(341) How often do you perform a self breast exam?
(342) Do you use the same cloth to wash your face as you do to was your genital area?
(343) Do you own any pets? What kind? How many?
(344) Are they aggressive?
(345) How do you discipline them?
(346) In what condition are they in?
(347) What care do they require and how often?
(346) Have you ever been accused of Animal Cruelty?
(347) What are your pet peeves? Why?
(348) If we should pursue a relationship, will leadership be equally shared among us, or will one partner be designated as the "leader"?
(349) If one partner is to be designated leader, which one of us will that be? Who gets to decide?
(350) If we should pursue a relationship, will financial responsibility be equally shared among us, or will one partner be solely responsible for providing finances?
(351) If one partner will be solely responsible for providing finances, which one of us will that be? Who gets to decide?
(352) What are your primary needs from me in this relationship?
(353) Are you the type of person who requires allot of people around you at all times, or are you more of a solitary person?
(354) If we should share a home will there be frequent visiting of friends and family?
(355) Will these visits be of an constructive nature or generally entertainment?
(356) Will we frequently visit the homes of friends and family?
(357) Will these visits be of an constructive nature or generally entertainment?
(358) Are you an active person requiring allot of outdoors activity and entertainment, or are you more of a stay at home type of person?
(359) If we should pursue a relationship. how often a week will we participate in "entertaining" activities.
(360) How often a week will we participate constructive activities?
(362) Do you consider yourself an affectionate person requiring allot of attention and affection, or not very affectionate and requiring very little affection and attention?
(363) How much personal attention and affection do you require from me on a day to day basis?
(364) Do you have financial standards that I must meet in order to pursue a relationship with you? If so what are they?
(365) How often do you self annalize and experiment?
(365) What issues are you currently working to improve on in yourself, and for how long?
(365) What do you consider to be your greatest accomplishment and why?
(366) What critical things have you learned about yourself in the past year? 5 years? 10 years?
367) If I have a child, am I capable of providing for its emotional and financial support, even if my partner is not willing to participate?
(368) Am I sure no one is pushing me into having sex? Am I pushing omeone into have sex?
(369) Am I having sex willingly or because I feel it is necessary in order to maintain a relationship with my current partner?
(370) Am I absolutely sure my partner is not infected with an STD, including AIDS?
(371) Am I being absolutely honest with my self and future partner about my motives?
(372) Have you ever had any bones broken?
(373) Do you have any bones that were broken that never set correctly?
(374) Do you like spicy food?
(375) What foods don't you eat?
(376) Do you have any false teeth?
(377) Do you fear being alone?
(378) Are you revengeful or spiteful?
(379) Do you find it difficult to admit your faults or when you are incorrect?
(380) Do you cling to people who are non-constructive?
(381) How do you react to sexual rejection, i.e., a female says she doesn't want you for anything? What do you say and do in reaction to that?
(382) Are you or have you ever been physically, mentally and emotionally abusive to anyone?
(383) Do you find it difficult to express your thoughts and feelings?
(384) Are you physically affectionate?
(385) Are you sexually aggressive in bed?
(386) Are you stingy with money?
(387) Are you very critical person, i.e., do you find fault with everything and everybody?
(388) Have you ever thought about harming yourself or someone else in anyway?
(389) Do you feel or think that you might be going crazy at times?
(390) Do you or have you ever spied on anyone?
(391) Do you have a temper? How do you handle yourself when angered?
(392) Do you now or have you ever felt contempt towards females?
(393) Are you possessive or controlling?
(394) Are you coercive and manipulative?
(395) Do you like or dislike being pursued by a female or being called affectionate names by a female?
(396) Have you ever received counseling services from a mental help provider?
(397) Have you ever or would you ever "pull a knife or gun" on someone?
(398) What would you do if you caught a female you were having sexual intercourse with having sexual intercourse with another male or female? Be very specific.
(399) Do you have children who don't live with you and if so why? Do they visit you or do you visit them? How long are your visitations with each other?
(400) How would you characterize your relationship with your children?

Thanks for sharing this, Breathren....it definitely doesn't hurt to ask as many questions as possible.

The anticipation or almost psychic drive towards sex is enhanced/disfigured by socio-economic and environmental conditions. Depending on how stressful things can get, sex becomes another means to anethesize along with other forms of self medication (Weed, Heroin, Cocain etc). With this in mind (if considered) I can also see how the system(RWS) itself can neutralize ones rational need to "Square things away" before hookin up with someone. Taking responsibility for ones condition and excepting the sobering reality that one cannot do, what they would like to term, *Normal* things in abnormal conditions is a challenging commitment indeed.

you mean to say that you people still have sex....?:SuN044:

So basically you just want people to know the person there doing b4 they do they them, very good advice. :playball: [lol really just wanted to use this icon] but you need to beat some people over the head with information. Very logical, some people just don't get it.

look at all the question

can't we just chill and learn each other?

lol

so sad the state of relations nowadays

lol

look at all the question

can't we just chill and learn each other?

lol

so sad the state of relations nowadays

lol

I browsed this list and thought - wow - I hope most would know the answers to the majority of these questions long before thinking about sleeping with someone ;) your name? married? have kids? smoke? Kill someone? warrant for your arrest? :lol: and although nice to know, whether or not my partner can rollerskate.. hmmm.. cant see how that answer would effect my potential sexual relationship with him :)

In addition (and exclusion) to some of the above, two things I'd find out in the course of things - are you circumcised.. and .. would you ever consider a vasectomy ;) Again, not that either would prevent me from committing to a relationship, but these are some things a women should just know...

- are you circumcised.....
say wha?....are you?

No. I dont think there are parallels to be made between male and female circumcision anyway ;) Both are done for different reasons.

hahahaha :lol: I just realized you titled your post with #$^&*? -

what is upsetting about that Q?

hahahaha :lol: I just realized you titled your post with #$^&*? -

what is upsetting about that Q?
well, there is only one way that any woman is going to find out about my member.....:SuN049:

I browsed this list and thought - wow - I hope most would know the answers to the majority of these questions long before thinking about sleeping with someone ;) your name? married? have kids? smoke? Kill someone? warrant for your arrest? :lol: and although nice to know, whether or not my partner can rollerskate.. hmmm.. cant see how that answer would effect my potential sexual relationship with him :)

In addition (and exclusion) to some of the above, two things I'd find out in the course of things - are you circumcised.. and .. would you ever consider a vasectomy ;) Again, not that either would prevent me from committing to a relationship, but these are some things a women should just know...
Those are excellent questions. When you have time you should add them to the list.

well, there is only one way that any woman is going to find out about my member.....:SuN049:

really? Is discussion about 'members' so taboo? :?:

Dont tell me you make love in the dark too ;)

:lol:

i'm tired from reading all these questions,forget sex i'm going to sleep.

look at all the question

can't we just chill and learn each other?

lol
We try that now and it doesn’t work. Too many "single parent homes"...too many unwed mothers...too many...NO! We can slow all of that down to a crawl. The white people who practice racism (white supremacy) want you to go so fast, going through the motions of reacting to what they are doing against you, that you will not take the time to think and ask questions. You just keep seeking to feel good rather than build anything, which is what they want us to do. And they got us...right where they want us. If black males and black females are going to build anything that benefits black people we are going to have to start with each other.

so sad the state of relations nowadays

lol
The idea is that if you're in the process of even thinking about having sexual intercourse with someone you should, at the same time, be thinking about and making plans to spend the rest of your life with that person. But what do we do? We want to get in and get out. And the racists (white supremacists) know that and so they orchestrate things to happen such that the effect is too many "single parent homes"...too many unwed mothers...and so on and so forth...an increase in what is called homosexual activity. They know us better than we know us according to the evidence. But we can change that by changing our own behavior so that we get the effect that should be, rather than the effect that will give us instant gratification.

We don't think long term for the most part and this is evidence that we don't. But we can. We can begin to think and plan 500 years down the road by taking and accepting responsibility and problem solving. We can say...today...that 100 years from now we are going to have less than 5% of the black male population incarcerated. How do we do that? By promoting codified speech and action for how black male and black female relations come into being, their focus, and how they are managed to protect and educate the young. Let's face it...without each other we are lost and subject to total domination just as we are right now.

By solving the problem of black male and black female relations you solve the problem of the so-called black family. By solving the problem of the black family you solve the problem of what the black children learn and how they learn it. And then it becomes reciprocal because the children grow up with the idea of how things should work and their focus is keener.

How do we solve the problem of the black male and black female relations? Well first of all no more of that hit it and quite it. If you're planning to have sexual intercourse with someone you should be planning to spend the rest of your life with that someone. Male and Female ONLY! Nothing else produces a constructive effect. And one of the ways how to plan to get to know each other is to ask all of the questions you need to know about the person that determines whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with that person before you have sexual intercourse with that person. That's where the list comes from.

If we don't plan to get out of this mess we are just planning to remain in it. 100 years from now there will be more black males in prison than walking the street if we don't plan to work against the SYSTEM of racism (white supremacy) by replacing it with a SYSTEM of justice. The speech and actions that I've laid out not only work against THEM...because with us stronger as a unit we can defeat THEM because THEY will not be able to pit us against each other...but it also helps to produce justice by keeping all of our interactions constructive.

say wha?....are you?

:lol:

:heart:

Destee

i'm tired from reading all these questions,forget sex i'm going to sleep.

lol Brother Oldiesman ... thas funnee ... :lol:

:heart:

Destee

In addition (and exclusion) to some of the above, two things I'd find out in the course of things - are you circumcised.. and .. would you ever consider a vasectomy ;) Again, not that either would prevent me from committing to a relationship, but these are some things a women should just know...

Sister Zulile ... why should women know if a man is circumcised or not? What is its significance?

I've never thought of it as a "need to know" kinda thing ... but if i should ... :eeek: ... ??

:heart:

Destee

Sister Zulile ... why should women know if a man is circumcised or not? What is its significance?

I've never thought of it as a "need to know" kinda thing ... but if i should ... :eeek: ... ??

:heart:

Destee

Where I come from, circumcision separates the men from the boys :lol:

But in all seriousness, circumcision would be significant if the man conciously chose to either do it, or not - as an adult. If he is circumcised at birth, the rest is kinda moot - but would he expect our future sons to be circumcised or not, would he allow them choice as young adults, and his reasons.

Perhaps it is standard practice to chop of a male babys foreskin before he can open his eyes - doesnt mean it should be followed without thought.

I feel the significance of the question is higher (to me) than knowing whether or not my partner can rollerskate ;)

:heart:
Zulile

Where I come from, circumcision separates the men from the boys :lol:

But in all seriousness, circumcision would be significant if the man conciously chose to either do it, or not - as an adult. If he is circumcised at birth, the rest is kinda moot - but would he expect our future sons to be circumcised or not, would he allow them choice as young adults, and his reasons.

Perhaps it is standard practice to chop of a male babys foreskin before he can open his eyes - doesnt mean if should be followed without thought.

:heart:
Zulile

You say it separates the men from the boys?

So if one is circumcised, he's a man ... and if not ... he's a boy? Or is it the other way around?

I do agree that it isn't something that should be done lightly. We've had a great discussion regarding circumcision ... Circumcision ... Why or Why Not (http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=34817) ... that you may enjoy reading.

Much Love and Peace!

:heart:

Destee

Dont tell me you make love in the dark too
in da dark an under de covers wit my clothes on......:qqb005:

The idea is that if you're in the process of even thinking about having sexual intercourse with someone you should, at the same time, be thinking about and making plans to spend the rest of your life with that person.
no, not at all....i have to disagree

in da dark an under de covers wit my clothes on......:qqb005:

:eek:

:lol: :lol: the image flashed before my eyes :lol: :lol:

i enjoy your humour, james

:lol:

no, not at all....i have to disagree
Yeah Brother...most of us disagree and the evidence shows that we disagree. But we keep having discussions about how to change the condition we're in without connecting the dots.

Yeah Brother...most of us disagree and the evidence shows that we disagree. But we keep having discussions about how to change the condition we're in without connecting the dots.
while i have seen many times that need to get the sex thing under control and in balance i have to say that that spending your entire life with any one that you have sex with is not reasonable. i say balance. that means we do not swing too far one way or too far the other.

while i have seen many times that need to get the sex thing under control and in balance i have to say that that spending your entire life with any one that you have sex with is not reasonable. i say balance. that means we do not swing too far one way or too far the other.
Yes Sir. What does a person do that nobody else does that is balanced in their sexual practices?

What does a person do that nobody else does that is balanced in their sexual practices?
i do not understand your question. if you want to rephrase it i will try to answer.

look at me, for example. i have been married. i am old now.
are you saying that i cannot have sex if i want to?

i do not understand your question. if you want to rephrase it i will try to answer.

look at me, for example. i have been married. i am old now.
are you saying that i cannot have sex if i want to?

Do you believe the older you are, the less relevent the questions are about your partner? Does being older give you more freedom to be less serious/more flexible about your partner of choice?

You say it separates the men from the boys?

So if one is circumcised, he's a man ... and if not ... he's a boy? Or is it the other way around?

I do agree that it isn't something that should be done lightly. We've had a great discussion regarding circumcision ... Circumcision ... Why or Why Not (http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=34817) ... that you may enjoy reading.

Much Love and Peace!

:heart:

Destee

In many African cultures circumcision is a ceremonial right of passage into manhood - conciously done at a certain age/frame of mind.

I understand most western minded men cringe at the thought at having it done conciously :lol:

Personally, I'm past having to ever make that choice for male babies - but I do believe that young couples should question it and the WHY. Not the "why not?"

I read the thread you posted - thank you :) At the risk of being 'flamed' - religious/cleanliness reasons just don't cut it with me - the popular religious books we read now were put togther by ancient white folk who bathed once a year :lol:

So yes, if I was in a newly budding relationship - thinking about having children etc, my partners feelings about circumcision for our potential sons would be there. Absolutely.

Thank you Sir for taking the time to answer this question.

while i have seen many times that need to get the sex thing under control and in balance i have to say that that spending your entire life with any one that you have sex with is not reasonable. i say balance. that means we do not swing too far one way or too far the other.

What does a person do that nobody else does that is balanced in their sexual practices?

i do not understand your question. if you want to rephrase it i will try to answer.

look at me, for example. i have been married. i am old now.
are you saying that i cannot have sex if i want to?
You say "balance" meaning "do not swing too far one way or the other".

Everything in the universe comes down to saying and doing. In an attempt to find out what balance is in reference to sexual practices my question is as follows...simplified...

If a person is balanced in reference to their sexual practices what do they do that is different than a person who is imbalanced in reference to their sexual practices?

If a person is balanced in reference to their sexual practices what do they do that is different than a person who is imbalanced in reference to their sexual practices?
some have many partners without a care. that is one extreme. some get one partner and lock it down tight. that is another extreme.
i'm in the middle. you should exercise discretion with your partners but i do not believe in only one for life.
i believe sex is just sex. i think we make too much of it.

Do you believe the older you are, the less relevant the questions are about your partner? Does being older give you more freedom to be less serious/more flexible about your partner of choice?
yes, i think it does. i know i am not going to be around much longer. i see no need to stress myself about sex matters. if i were to have sex, it would just be for pleasure.

right now, i have not had sex for a while. i may never have it again. i no longer care one way or the other but i do not want somebody to come around and tell me what i can do.

wow.

while i have seen many times that need to get the sex thing under control and in balance i have to say that that spending your entire life with any one that you have sex with is not reasonable. i say balance. that means we do not swing too far one way or too far the other.

What does a person do that nobody else does that is balanced in their sexual practices?

i do not understand your question. if you want to rephrase it i will try to answer.

look at me, for example. i have been married. i am old now.
are you saying that i cannot have sex if i want to?
You say "balance" meaning "do not swing too far one way or the other".

Everything in the universe comes down to saying and doing. In an attempt to find out what balance is in reference to sexual practices my question is as follows...simplified...

If a person is balanced in reference to their sexual practices what do they do that is different than a person who is imbalanced in reference to their sexual practices?

some have many partners without a care. that is one extreme. some get one partner and lock it down tight. that is another extreme.
i'm in the middle. you should exercise discretion with your partners but i do not believe in only one for life.
i believe sex is just sex. i think we make too much of it.
Thank you Sir.

Are you serious? Some of these questions were just funny to say the least. I could see myself asking some of these questions and getting a wtf look from the other person lol

I hope you don't mind me keeping a copy of these questions. I agree that we have got to do better when it comes to knowing the people we are intimate. I personally will never sleep with a man unless I know his social security number.

I do have a question Mr. Williams... Why the questions regarding white people? And what is antisexual? For clarity please.

Sister Destee, hit me in private and I will give you the down low on why you may or may not want to sleep with an uncircumsized man.....

Are you serious? Some of these questions were just funny to say the least. I could see myself asking some of these questions and getting a wtf look from the other person lol

I'm always serious. It is a question "buffet" so to speak. You only take the questions from the buffet that are important for you to ask.

Non-white people only ask about 10 questions at best before they make it to the bedroom. Then they ask a few more questions in there like "Who's ***** is this?" or "Who's ***k is this?". Afterwards, if it was good, we'll usually ask "When can I see you again?". It ain't long after that the arguements are gonna start because whomever wants out of it is going to start 'em.

That is pathetic behavior and yet we keep doing it...so much so that the list of questions and the concept of asking as many questions before sexual intercourse appears to be an alien concept.

(((shaking my head)))

The concept is that if you are going to have sexual intercourse with someone you should be headed for a life-long partnership. Now I know that sounds alien because we have been trained not to do that...we have been trained that women don't need no man to have and raise a child...we have been trained that as many females a male can get is the way he is supposed to spend what little time he has on this planet...FREE SEX for everyone. FREE SEX! This is what we are thinking. Now...we will not admit that we are thinking this but we are acting it out. Meet 'em in the club in the bed with them the same night...BAM!

Now all the smartest and most powerful white people gotta do in order to control the population of non-white people is drop a little virus in the mix. They are where we got the FREE SEX idea and they are where we got the virus.

WAKE UP!!!

THEY don't want to kill all non-white people because somebody has to do all the menial tasks on the planet. Hell...in a village of 100 people THEY will kill 50 of 'em and nurse the other 50 back to health. That is what is going on in what is called Iraq right now...nursing the rest of 'em back to health. Helping them to...****...I guess we just don't get it.

Look at it this way...you keep asking them questions and asking a lot of 'em and you will lessen the spread of AIDS. Not that you have it but in lessening the number of times you engage in sexual intercourse you lessen the chances of contracting the virus.

If you ain't interested in a life-long partnership and knowing as much about the person you are entering into that life-long partnership with as you possibly can before the two of you engage in sexual intercourse...

...are you at least interested in lessening the spread of AIDS?

Are you serious? Some of these questions were just funny to say the least. I could see myself asking some of these questions and getting a wtf look from the other person lol

yo kid, you still alive?

I hope you don't mind me keeping a copy of these questions. I agree that we have got to do better when it comes to knowing the people we are intimate. I personally will never sleep with a man unless I know his social security number.

I do have a question Mr. Williams... Why the questions regarding white people? And what is antisexual? For clarity please.

Sister Destee, hit me in private and I will give you the down low on why you may or may not want to sleep with an uncircumsized man.....

Oh, I didn't put all of these questions together. It is a project on my website that lots of people contributed to. Anti-Sex is anything other than male/female. Male with male...female with female...male with a bear...female with a dog...male with a tree...female with a broom...

...ALL of these and many more are considered anti-sex.

Any non-white person who is attempting to replace the SYSTEM of racism (white supremacy) with a SYSTEM of justice should be attempting to find out all there is to know about white people in all areas of people activity including Economics, Education, Entertainment, Labor, Law, Politics, Religion, Sex ad War. Not just the area of people activity known as sex but all areas of people activity.

Social Security Number huh?

...it's been nice knowing you. :)

I personally will never sleep with a man unless I know his social security number......
um, you can stop right there then.....

..male with a bear...:)
owwwww!

The concept is that if you are going to have sexual intercourse with someone you should be headed for a life-long partnership.

this is just plain silly. i am 65. i don't have much life left. i been married. i paid my dues. now, i can't have sex?
balderdash!

this is just plain silly. i am 65. i don't have much life left. i been married. i paid my dues. now, i can't have sex?
balderdash!

Is that supposed to be a question for me?

Oh, I didn't put all of these questions together. It is a project on my website that lots of people contributed to. Anti-Sex is anything other than male/female. Male with male...female with female...male with a bear...female with a dog...male with a tree...female with a broom...

...ALL of these and many more are considered anti-sex.

Any non-white person who is attempting to replace the SYSTEM of racism (white supremacy) with a SYSTEM of justice should be attempting to find out all there is to know about white people in all areas of people activity including Economics, Education, Entertainment, Labor, Law, Politics, Religion, Sex ad War. Not just the area of people activity known as sex but all areas of people activity.

Social Security Number huh?

...it's been nice knowing you. :)

Hello Edward :)

Is masturbation considered anti-sex?

Zulile

Oh, I didn't put all of these questions together. It is a project on my website that lots of people contributed to. Anti-Sex is anything other than male/female. Male with male...female with female...male with a bear...female with a dog...male with a tree...female with a broom...

...ALL of these and many more are considered anti-sex.

Any non-white person who is attempting to replace the SYSTEM of racism (white supremacy) with a SYSTEM of justice should be attempting to find out all there is to know about white people in all areas of people activity including Economics, Education, Entertainment, Labor, Law, Politics, Religion, Sex ad War. Not just the area of people activity known as sex but all areas of people activity.

Social Security Number huh?

...it's been nice knowing you. :)




Thank you bruh. Fix your face to ask me for my ss#.:nono::nono: Dat poo-poo better be laced with poppy aroma(to drug me) or contain enough gold so that i can live happily ever after!

Hello Edward :)

Is masturbation considered anti-sex?

Zulile

Hello Zulile! :)

Yes, masturbation is considered anti-sex. Sexual intercourse...and a lot of people are gonna disagree with this because of how we've been trained by sex-crazed white people to think that other things are "normal"...but sexual intercourse is penis in vagina.

Now watch 'em come out of the woodwork. All of the people who have been trained that other acts are also sexual intercourse and have been practicing their training wanting to talk about what else is sexual intercourse too...without stopping to take a look at how the universe works. We have been trained about sex by people who pervet sex and tell you that perversion is normal or natural behavior.

appparently, sex shall only take place in the missionary position between couples who are committed for life.:qqb004:

Because of our training under the SYSTEM of racism (white supremacy), non-white people will usually say just about anything when we do not know what to say that is constructive. And this works to the benefit of the white people who practice racism (white supremacy).

An arguement is two people making statements back and forth to each other or rather at each other. Among non-white people, usually this results in a heated arguement by someone saying something someone else doesn't like and most often times we do this on purpose. When one of the non-white people stops making statements and either asks questions or doesn't say anything the conversation never escalates or becomes what is called "heated" or goes further into fighting or killing. This is called Compensatory Conversation Control.

A conversation is reciprocal. Questions and answers. An arguement is just statements being made by two or more people at each other. Non-white people have to learn how to ask questions. Like when jamesfrmphilly asked the question "now, i can't have sex?", which is a valid question. In order to make sure the question was being asked of me and not someone else I asked him a question (Is that supposed to be a question for me?). That question eliminates confusion so that everyone knows who is asking what question to whom. Jamesfrmphilly never answered that question so the conversation didn't go anywhere. If he said "yes" I would've responded, for clarification, why is it that he's asking me if he can have sex. So the conversation wasn't going anywhere anyway. Just by asking questions. The conversation went right where it should've went. Nowhere.

Compensatory Conversation Control is anytime the conversation seems to be leading to an arguement or a non-constructive conversation such as gossiping, etc. either ask questions that lead to solving problems without producing more problems or stop talking. Meaning stop responding to comments or statements. Only respond verbally if the person asks you a question.

Now this is gonna be difficult for us to do because we have been trained to be confrontational with each other. But it can be done. The best way to learn how to play the violin is to play the violin. Meaning, while practicing Compensatory Conversation Control you are not just practicing it you are learning how not to be confrontational and you will become more aware of how to stay away from conflict and you'll also become more focused on how to solve problems without producing more problems.

A conversation is reciprocal. Questions and answers. An arguement is just statements being made by two or more people at each other. Non-white people have to learn how to ask questions. Like when jamesfrmphilly asked the question "now, i can't have sex?", which is a valid question. In order to make sure the question was being asked of me and not someone else I asked him a question (Is that supposed to be a question for me?). That question eliminates confusion so that everyone knows who is asking what question to whom. Jamesfrmphilly never answered that question so the conversation didn't go anywhere. If he said "yes" I would've responded, for clarification, why is it that he's asking me if he can have sex. So the conversation wasn't going anywhere anyway. Just by asking questions. The conversation went right where it should've went. Nowhere.
actually, it went no where because you have no way of applying your sexual standards to a person in my situation.
according to your standards, as an older person, i have no sexual outlet. i cannot masturbate, i cannot have sex with a woman. i cannot do anything.
i think your standards are silly. you may live by them if you like. i will not.

actually, it went no where because you have no way of applying your sexual standards to a person in my situation.
according to your standards, as an older person, i have no sexual outlet. i cannot masturbate, i cannot have sex with a woman. i cannot do anything.
i think your standards are silly. you may live by them if you like. i will not.

Yes Sir. Thank you for your comments.

Hello Zulile! :)

Yes, masturbation is considered anti-sex. Sexual intercourse...and a lot of people are gonna disagree with this because of how we've been trained by sex-crazed white people to think that other things are "normal"...but sexual intercourse is penis in vagina.

Now watch 'em come out of the woodwork. All of the people who have been trained that other acts are also sexual intercourse and have been practicing their training wanting to talk about what else is sexual intercourse too...without stopping to take a look at how the universe works. We have been trained about sex by people who pervet sex and tell you that perversion is normal or natural behavior.

Thank you for the clear response, Edward. Interesting, indeed!

Zulile

Thank you for the clear response, Edward. Interesting, indeed!

Zulile

Oh yeah...by masturbating the person loses the relation aspect of female and male interaction...and if the person masturbates long enough the person begins to devalue the female/male interaction. The person begins to actually work against the relation aspect of sexual intercourse in their mind. The person may not realize it but it has that effect on their mind.

Some non-white people, I suspect, even masturbate using pictures and/or video of white people, which has an even more damaging effect on how they interact not just with people in general but also with other non-white people of the so-called "opposite sex".

by the time I get done askin all these questions the mood for sure will have passed...

what if u ain't tryin to get married....

is it not ok (with two consenting adults) .... to show each other the std/aids clearence and get ur freak on...

cause let's be realistic..... sometimes that's all that's wanted....

I mean I feel like you can like someone, and have a mutual respect for one another....

me, myself.... I just don't have the time to cater to man's ego the way they have progressed to needing it...

I love to compliment everyone and be loving but it's nothing sexual.......

relationships are so much work ... there has to be a simpler way to come to some type of agreement.................

that won't yield 27 chicks callin ur cell phone and no one slashin ur tires or breakin ur windows..........

i stay away from dudes cause I can't stand gettin into beefs with girls that I don't know from adam because they wanna fight over some crumb dude that don't care....

like i got beef right now over some dude that's locked up that i went out with like eleven years ago....... i don already had to fight the girl twice cause she put her hands on me, and no matter how many times I get into it wit her she just keep it up.......

i don't even think about none of em... never..............

marriage is a nice setiment but what's ur view for those that ain't lookin for eternity with a headache ...........

I'm gonna answer every question you asked but first I thought I'd ask you if someone made a website kinda sorta like these dating websites that you see only it was a sex only website where you contacted someone on the website where you saw their picture and a brief video interview of them and scheduled to have sexual intercourse with them and the membership on that website was a dollar a month...would you be signing up for membership on that website? Yes or No?

by the time I get done askin all these questions the mood for sure will have passed...
That could be part of the problem. Being "in the mood" is a different perspective than building a relationship with someone.

what if u ain't tryin to get married....
Then you follow the process for whatever it is you are trying to get done make sure there is clarity...I mean High Definition Clarity...about what the interaction is all about. Any person that cares about their own body is gonna have questions anyway, especially about the other person's health.

is it not ok (with two consenting adults) .... to show each other the std/aids clearence and get ur freak on...
Sure. I'm not saying that a person should not do that but if the person does that the person should not complain about the person they were with or how their life ended up, etc. See we want to be able to do whatever we want to do and have things turn out the way we want them to turn out...but the process doesn't work that way. Most often times the way we want things to turn out...we ain't even following the process necessary to get them to turn out that way.

Whatever your objective is follow the process for you to achieve your objective. Don't go complaining that things didn't turn out as planned. Learn why they didn't turn out as planned and fix it so that the next time you make a plan things will turn out as planned. But don't keep using the same plan that never has worked and each time the plan is used your expect to achieve your objective. I don't mean you personally Miss Lady but people in general...because this is how we act.

cause let's be realistic..... sometimes that's all that's wanted....

I mean I feel like you can like someone, and have a mutual respect for one another....

me, myself.... I just don't have the time to cater to man's ego the way they have progressed to needing it...

I love to compliment everyone and be loving but it's nothing sexual.......

relationships are so much work ... there has to be a simpler way to come to some type of agreement.................

that won't yield 27 chicks callin ur cell phone and no one slashin ur tires or breakin ur windows..........

i stay away from dudes cause I can't stand gettin into beefs with girls that I don't know from adam because they wanna fight over some crumb dude that don't care....

like i got beef right now over some dude that's locked up that i went out with like eleven years ago....... i don already had to fight the girl twice cause she put her hands on me, and no matter how many times I get into it wit her she just keep it up.......

i don't even think about none of em... never..............

marriage is a nice setiment but what's ur view for those that ain't lookin for eternity with a headache ...........

Oh yeah...by masturbating the person loses the relation aspect of female and male interaction...and if the person masturbates long enough the person begins to devalue the female/male interaction. The person begins to actually work against the relation aspect of sexual intercourse in their mind. The person may not realize it but it has that effect on their mind.

Some non-white people, I suspect, even masturbate using pictures and/or video of white people, which has an even more damaging effect on how they interact not just with people in general but also with other non-white people of the so-called "opposite sex".

do you masturbate? have you? did it have this effect on you?
what is your background in human sexuality?

how do you know what you state is true?

I'm gonna answer every question you asked but first I thought I'd ask you if someone made a website kinda sorta like these dating websites that you see only it was a sex only website where you contacted someone on the website where you saw their picture and a brief video interview of them and scheduled to have sexual intercourse with them and the membership on that website was a dollar a month...would you be signing up for membership on that website? Yes or No?


That could be part of the problem. Being "in the mood" is a different perspective than building a relationship with someone.


Then you follow the process for whatever it is you are trying to get done make sure there is clarity...I mean High Definition Clarity...about what the interaction is all about. Any person that cares about their own body is gonna have questions anyway, especially about the other person's health.


Sure. I'm not saying that a person should not do that but if the person does that the person should not complain about the person they were with or how their life ended up, etc. See we want to be able to do whatever we want to do and have things turn out the way we want them to turn out...but the process doesn't work that way. Most often times the way we want things to turn out...we ain't even following the process necessary to get them to turn out that way.

Whatever your objective is follow the process for you to achieve your objective. Don't go complaining that things didn't turn out as planned. Learn why they didn't turn out as planned and fix it so that the next time you make a plan things will turn out as planned. But don't keep using the same plan that never has worked and each time the plan is used your expect to achieve your objective. I don't mean you personally Miss Lady but people in general...because this is how we act.

no pun taken... I asked very seriously....

I'm not ashamed to say that I have gotten myself caught up for all the wrong reasons.... that's why I stay single......

I have just seen so many people happy before the "contract" that maybe if it ain't broke it don't need to be fixed...

sex can either be the confirmation of the contract of marriage.....

or it can be fun between two consenting, un-bipolar, got ur mind right, no sayin we friends today day, and tomorrow u actin like u've been lied to ...

just don't think it should be a pressure thing.........

i mean people get marriages annul'd because it is not consecrated???? hugh...

meaning if I marry a man and I don't give him nun he can leave me because that's my duty... PLA-EASE .......

marriage nowadays is an indication of ownership.....

and I for 1 ain't tap dancin in the words of A. Bassett for no man......

get ur game up.. ur confidence up..... and stop tryin to put me in a pumkin shell..

it seems it's all about control....

no pun taken... I asked very seriously....

I'm not ashamed to say that I have gotten myself caught up for all the wrong reasons.... that's why I stay single......

I have just seen so many people happy before the "contract" that maybe if it ain't broke it don't need to be fixed...

sex can either be the confirmation of the contract of marriage.....

or it can be fun between two consenting, un-bipolar, got ur mind right, no sayin we friends today day, and tomorrow u actin like u've been lied to ...

just don't think it should be a pressure thing.........

i mean people get marriages annul'd because it is not consecrated???? hugh...

meaning if I marry a man and I don't give him nun he can leave me because that's my duty... PLA-EASE .......

marriage nowadays is an indication of ownership.....

and I for 1 ain't tap dancin in the words of A. Bassett for no man......

get ur game up.. ur confidence up..... and stop tryin to put me in a pumkin shell..

it seems it's all about control....

When I say "marriage" I'm talking about a female and a male helping each other to be the best people they can be and if they have offspring, the female and male, as a unit, helping their offspring to be the best people they can be.

Now you ain't never gonna be the best person you can be under this SYSTEM so at the same time you trying to be the best person you can be and you are helping someone else to become the best person they can be and as a unit you and that someone else are helping your offspring to become the best person they can be...at the same time...you gotta also be trying to replace the SYSTEM of racism (white supremacy) with a SYSTEM of justice because it is the white people who practice racism (white supremacy) who are gonna be working against you becoming the best person you can be.

Now that's a lot of work. You mighta thought a relationship was a lot of work before...think about doing that.

[QUOTE=Edward Williams;523476]When I say "marriage" I'm talking about a female and a male helping each other to be the best people they can be and if they have offspring, the female and male, as a unit, helping their offspring to be the best people they can be.

Now you ain't never gonna be the best person you can be under this SYSTEM so at the same time you trying to be the best person you can be and you are helping someone else to become the best person they can be and as a unit you and that someone else are helping your offspring to become the best person they can be...at the same time...you gotta also be trying to replace the SYSTEM of racism (white supremacy) with a SYSTEM of justice because it is the white people who practice racism (white supremacy) who are gonna be working against you becoming the best person you can be.

Now that's a lot of work. You mighta thought a relationship was a lot of work before



exactly... and when there is so much to be done collectively.....

how can I maintain a "marriage" where I already know I can't do the things that the "norm" say is appropriate ....

of course i'll feed... clean ... listen all that....

but what I find to be troubling is how we are functioning in our marriages under such a system....

it's like going into it handicapp'd .....

now I'm not saying there are no good black men out there or women.. because that just isn't so......

it's just that the majority got it twisted in their minds of what it's suppose to be...

I listen to men .. one thing I do pay is attention..

and what i always hear is I can't compete.... ur too good for me.... like the brothers beat themselves down when really i'm lookin at ya'll like ur the str8 shiss...

the process of healing is so important before you can be that source of strenghth for someone else.......

if u act stank ur stuckup.. but if ur nice that gets flip'd also...

I go around flattering everyone.... i think i'm beautiful.. sassy.. spunky.. i feel like i got it goin on.... matter fact i know......

and i know ya'll do to.. but it's like our families and the way we treat one another is so programm'd and distorted I just don't really see the whole situation happening for me...

I mean who wants to argue when there's nothing to argue about.. it's like some accept the bad and think they can't be no better, and then take it out on the one's who truly see the greatness....

I mean I would have to say that us up in the poetry section write the majority of poems about broken hearts........ and lost love...

how do we come to an understanding of the TRUE responsibilities of each in a meaningful relationship??

and to be perfectly honest of course I think about what it might be like to get married one day, but the thought comes and goes because I don't know how to stroke ego and be about making a difference......

:censored::10500::10500: Why is it so complicated? If u love em and get a kind of commitment then... As for masturbation.... I see no wrong in that.

[QUOTE=Edward Williams;523476]When I say "marriage" I'm talking about a female and a male helping each other to be the best people they can be and if they have offspring, the female and male, as a unit, helping their offspring to be the best people they can be.

Now you ain't never gonna be the best person you can be under this SYSTEM so at the same time you trying to be the best person you can be and you are helping someone else to become the best person they can be and as a unit you and that someone else are helping your offspring to become the best person they can be...at the same time...you gotta also be trying to replace the SYSTEM of racism (white supremacy) with a SYSTEM of justice because it is the white people who practice racism (white supremacy) who are gonna be working against you becoming the best person you can be.

Now that's a lot of work. You mighta thought a relationship was a lot of work before



exactly... and when there is so much to be done collectively.....

how can I maintain a "marriage" where I already know I can't do the things that the "norm" say is appropriate ....

of course i'll feed... clean ... listen all that....

but what I find to be troubling is how we are functioning in our marriages under such a system....

it's like going into it handicapp'd .....

now I'm not saying there are no good black men out there or women.. because that just isn't so......

it's just that the majority got it twisted in their minds of what it's suppose to be...

I listen to men .. one thing I do pay is attention..

and what i always hear is I can't compete.... ur too good for me.... like the brothers beat themselves down when really i'm lookin at ya'll like ur the str8 shiss...

the process of healing is so important before you can be that source of strenghth for someone else.......

if u act stank ur stuckup.. but if ur nice that gets flip'd also...

I go around flattering everyone.... i think i'm beautiful.. sassy.. spunky.. i feel like i got it goin on.... matter fact i know......

and i know ya'll do to.. but it's like our families and the way we treat one another is so programm'd and distorted I just don't really see the whole situation happening for me...

I mean who wants to argue when there's nothing to argue about.. it's like some accept the bad and think they can't be no better, and then take it out on the one's who truly see the greatness....

I mean I would have to say that us up in the poetry section write the majority of poems about broken hearts........ and lost love...

how do we come to an understanding of the TRUE responsibilities of each in a meaningful relationship??

and to be perfectly honest of course I think about what it might be like to get married one day, but the thought comes and goes because I don't know how to stroke ego and be about making a difference......

I wrote the answer to that question but it seems it was missed.

The thread started out talking about questions to ask people before you go down that path. And a list of questions were posted. Use what you like. Discard the rest.

you have to be able to communicate what you mean by saying "a meaningful relationship". And also what you mean when you say "TRUE responsibilities".

We make things more complicated than they need to be. I stated that it is simple...

When I say "marriage" I'm talking about a female and a male helping each other to be the best people they can be and if they have offspring, the female and male, as a unit, helping their offspring to be the best people they can be.

That ain't about stroking nobody's EGO. It also ain't about "to an understanding of the TRUE responsibilities of each in a meaningful relationship". It is about getting to know the person in order to build something together. Sexual intercourse is only a part of that. When we seek relating to each other for only the purpose of sexual intercourse we pervert the entire experience.

The family unit is the strongest military unit in this race war, which is the reason the white people who practice racism (white supremacy) attack it so diligently. THEY understand our weaknesses and they attack them. THEY keep the conflict going between non-white males and females...THEY have to in order ot maintain their power structure. THEY have to keep all of their arrows pointing at us and all of our arrows pointing at each other. THEY know that a lot of us prefer to have sexual intercourse or some other kind of intercourse with each other rather than getting together to build something. Once we raise the importance of sex higher than the family unit all THEY have to do is drop in some sexually transmitted diseases to attack us. And when we elevate the importance of other kinds of intercourse with each other over sexual intercourse THEY drop in a disease for that too.

It is like we don't understand what we're looking at. It's right in front of us but it is hiding...in plain sight.

[QUOTE=Miss Lady;523481]

I wrote the answer to that question but it seems it was missed.

The thread started out talking about questions to ask people before you go down that path. And a list of questions were posted. Use what you like. Discard the rest.

you have to be able to communicate what you mean by saying "a meaningful relationship". And also what you mean when you say "TRUE responsibilities".

We make things more complicated than they need to be. I stated that it is simple...

When I say "marriage" I'm talking about a female and a male helping each other to be the best people they can be and if they have offspring, the female and male, as a unit, helping their offspring to be the best people they can be.

That ain't about stroking nobody's EGO. It also ain't about "to an understanding of the TRUE responsibilities of each in a meaningful relationship". It is about getting to know the person in order to build something together. Sexual intercourse is only a part of that. When we seek relating to each other for only the purpose of sexual intercourse we pervert the entire experience.

The family unit is the strongest military unit in this race war, which is the reason the white people who practice racism (white supremacy) attack it so diligently. THEY understand our weaknesses and they attack them. THEY keep the conflict going between non-white males and females...THEY have to in order ot maintain their power structure. THEY have to keep all of their arrows pointing at us and all of our arrows pointing at each other. THEY know that a lot of us prefer to have sexual intercourse or some other kind of intercourse with each other rather than getting together to build something. Once we raise the importance of sex higher than the family unit all THEY have to do is drop in some sexually transmitted diseases to attack us. And when we elevate the importance of other kinds of intercourse with each other over sexual intercourse THEY drop in a disease for that too.

It is like we don't understand what we're looking at. It's right in front of us but it is hiding...in plain sight.

I have no problem communicating...

I'm not missing ur point I'm respecting it because it's valid...

I guess what I'm saying is that those diligently working at disassembleing our families .. well, it's working........

it's not getting better... it's gettin worse........

really Brother Edward all I see in most relationships is EGO ....

If brothers' don't learn that we are not a possession and try to control us then we would be able to do what we need to do...

If sista's weren't so busy fighting over brothers we might be able to get along and do something...

and everyone didn't fall in love with who sexes em best they might be able to fix their own heart....

you can be blantantly honest.. which I am, and it still gets misunderstood...

:censored::10500::10500: Why is it so complicated? If u love em and get a kind of commitment then... As for masturbation.... I see no wrong in that.

because love don't exist gazing into someone's eyez only with people who are looking in the same direction...............

if u love someone u could committ to a lifetime with them... and grow together and live a nice comfortable human existence, however, if u look to the future and the way things are going what legacy is left for us or our children?

because love don't exist gazing into someone's eyez only with people who are looking in the same direction...............

if u love someone u could committ to a lifetime with them... and grow together and live a nice comfortable human existence, however, if u look to the future and the way things are going what legacy is left for us or our children?



I guess I am not as smart as most here. I think sometimes we tend to overcomplicate things. IMHO. :)

We make things more complicated than they need to be. I stated that it is simple...

When I say "marriage" I'm talking about a female and a male helping each other to be the best people they can be and if they have offspring, the female and male, as a unit, helping their offspring to be the best people they can be.

That ain't about stroking nobody's EGO. It also ain't about "to an understanding of the TRUE responsibilities of each in a meaningful relationship". It is about getting to know the person in order to build something together. Sexual intercourse is only a part of that. When we seek relating to each other for only the purpose of sexual intercourse we pervert the entire experience.

The family unit is the strongest military unit in this race war, which is the reason the white people who practice racism (white supremacy) attack it so diligently. THEY understand our weaknesses and they attack them. THEY keep the conflict going between non-white males and females...THEY have to in order ot maintain their power structure. THEY have to keep all of their arrows pointing at us and all of our arrows pointing at each other. THEY know that a lot of us prefer to have sexual intercourse or some other kind of intercourse with each other rather than getting together to build something. Once we raise the importance of sex higher than the family unit all THEY have to do is drop in some sexually transmitted diseases to attack us. And when we elevate the importance of other kinds of intercourse with each other over sexual intercourse THEY drop in a disease for that too.

It is like we don't understand what we're looking at. It's right in front of us but it is hiding...in plain sight.

Excellent write, Edward.

I guess I am not as smart as most here. I think sometimes we tend to overcomplicate things. IMHO. :)

ur sarcasm is annoyin........

what is your background in human sexuality and relationships?

ur sarcasm is annoyin........



Huh? Miss lady. I truly am not being sarcastic.:10500::10500: Sorry if my saying anything annoys you.

Huh? Miss lady. I truly am not being sarcastic.:10500::10500: Sorry if my saying anything annoys you.

"I'm not smart" ... come come... sarcasm at it's finest..

not taking it personally...

I'm just really serious about this topic......

all my friends, fam and most people I know it ain't workin..

it is really sad how we can't get along ........

if people were up for honesty.... I could guarantee u everyone on here can list black people they don't like because of some falicy of what a relationship is...

so really all I'm trying to figure out is how can we as a people feel good about ourselves so that we don't disrespect one another, and can move on to asking these types of questions......

personally, I know I can have a meaningful marriage if I committed to one because that is the type of person that I am......

but I could never be happy unless we can all be happy.......... i care

what is your background in human sexuality and relationships?


Br. James I'll go with the benefit of personal experience from both of you....

it's wisdom.....

Br. James I'll go with the benefit of personal experience from both of you.....
brother only has sex in the missionary position, after dark, with the lights out with a woman who he was in a life long commitment to.
how much experience can he have?

"I'm not smart" ... come come... sarcasm at it's finest..

not taking it personally...

I'm just really serious about this topic......

all my friends, fam and most people I know it ain't workin..

it is really sad how we can't get along ........

if people were up for honesty.... I could guarantee u everyone on here can list black people they don't like because of some falicy of what a relationship is...

so really all I'm trying to figure out is how can we as a people feel good about ourselves so that we don't disrespect one another, and can move on to asking these types of questions......

personally, I know I can have a meaningful marriage if I committed to one because that is the type of person that I am......

but I could never be happy unless we can all be happy.......... i care



OMG! Look Sister. first off, you dont know me from adam. I could be as dumb as a brick. Second, what does my posting have to do with any of us getting along? I dont have a clue as to what I said that annoyed you. I just commented on OVERCOMPLICATION. But whatever...... SMH

"I'm not smart" ... come come... sarcasm at it's finest..
naw, she telling the truth.....:em3600:

I got a way to word it Br. Edward:

Prior to asking these questions... (and this might be a new thread) ...

What questions should one ask self in order to realize if they are ready to be a compliment and/or bring out the best in another....... ??

naw, she telling the truth.....:em3600:

:lol:

[QUOTE=Edward Williams;523494]

I have no problem communicating...

I'm not missing ur point I'm respecting it because it's valid...

I guess what I'm saying is that those diligently working at disassembleing our families .. well, it's working........

it's not getting better... it's gettin worse........

really Brother Edward all I see in most relationships is EGO ....

If brothers' don't learn that we are not a possession and try to control us then we would be able to do what we need to do...

If sista's weren't so busy fighting over brothers we might be able to get along and do something...

and everyone didn't fall in love with who sexes em best they might be able to fix their own heart....

you can be blantantly honest.. which I am, and it still gets misunderstood...

Yeah...(hangin' head)...yeah...I know exactly what you mean (picking head up) but it is up to the few of us who understand what we are looking at to do most of the work. That is unfortunate but that is how it is.

One of the first steps to make is to ensure that the person you're talking to and thinking of being in a relationship with is attempting to be the best person they can be. If the person is notr attempting to become the best person they can be you can rest assured they ain't gonna be interested in helping you either. And the person has to be able to explain to you in detail the things they are doing to become the best person they can be. And also explain to you where they need help from you.

This way you will get an immediate understanding of how this person thinks of themselves and how they relate to others. You also get a picture of how the person views themselves as the best person they can be. You will also get a picture of how this person envisions your interaction with them.

This may sound complicated but it will save you a lot of time and energy if you have the nerve to ask the questions necessary to get the information that you need in order to understand what you're looking at.

What questions should one ask self in order to realize if they are ready to be a compliment and/or bring out the best in another....... ??
am i horny?

if the brother only has sex in the missionary position, after dark, with the lights out with a woman who he was in a life long commitment to: how much experience can he have?

Brother james - any man who remains faithful, dedicated and comitted to the betterment of one women til death to us part etc certainly has experiences the vast majority of us cant and never will. You imply that all the trials and errors of your "experience" (which leaves you now single and not getting any) makes you a more knowledgable person on the definition/purpose of marriage? Did I get that right?

Zulile

[QUOTE=Miss Lady;523500]

Yeah...(hangin' head)...yeah...I know exactly what you mean (picking head up) but it is up to the few of us who understand what we are looking at to do most of the work. That is unfortunate but that is how it is.

One of the first steps to make is to ensure that the person you're talking to and thinking of being in a relationship with is attempting to be the best person they can be. If the person is notr attempting to become the best person they can be you can rest assured they ain't gonna be interested in helping you either. And the person has to be able to explain to you in detail the things they are doing to become the best person they can be. And also explain to you where they need help from you.

This way you will get an immediate understanding of how this person thinks of themselves and how they relate to others. You also get a picture of how the person views themselves as the best person they can be. You will also get a picture of how this person envisions your interaction with them.

This may sound complicated but it will save you a lot of time and energy if you have the nerve to ask the questions necessary to get the information that you need in order to understand what you're looking at.

I'm gonna print these questions.... maybe edit a bit..... and see if it makes a difference..... i do date, so it's time to try something different.....

am i horny?

that doesn't yield positive results ... tried it... :lol:

OMG! Look Sister. first off, you dont know me from adam. I could be as dumb as a brick. Second, what does my posting have to do with any of us getting along? I dont have a clue as to what I said that annoyed you. I just commented on OVERCOMPLICATION. But whatever...... SMH

ummmm ...... ok

I got a way to word it Br. Edward:

Prior to asking these questions... (and this might be a new thread) ...

What questions should one ask self in order to realize if they are ready to be a compliment and/or bring out the best in another....... ??

Now you got it Sister...now you go it!!! :)

That is where it all starts...with a self evaluation. You first gotta ask yourself if you're ready. Are you attempting to be the best person you can be. What are you doing to attempt to become the best person you can be? How long will each thing you are doing to attempt to be the best person you can be will take you? How much help do you need? And many other questions!!!

Self-evaluation...without lieing to yourself. Now that is adult food. So if the person's behavior is childish it's gonna taste bitter. Once you get a concrete idea of where you are, where you want to go, and what you are capable of accomplishing by yourself...thyen you'll know what kind of help you'll need.

You making me smile ova heah!!! :)

[QUOTE=Edward Williams;523541]

I'm gonna print these questions.... maybe edit a bit..... and see if it makes a difference..... i do date, so it's time to try something different.....

You do you first. :)

Brother james - any man who remains faithful, dedicated and committed to the betterment of one women til death to us part etc certainly has experiences the vast majority of us cant and never will. You imply that all the trials and errors of your "experience" (which leaves you now single and not getting any) makes you a more knowledgeable person on the definition/purpose of marriage? Did I get that right?

Zulile

for starters this thread was about question prior to sex, not marriage. second, i have been married. i certainly know what that is about.
has the brother stated that he has been married? no. there fore my query about just what his background is, i think is valid.

logically, any man who spends his life time with one women cannot have a varied experience. you cannot have it both ways.
i ask, which is it?

lastly, i am alone and i am not getting any. is that a critique? who says that i want any? did I?
my situation is exactly as i want it to be. do you have a problem with that?

what is your background in human sexuality and relationships?

I don't have any background in "human sexuality and relationships". For one thing I'm not human. To me a human is a person who acts in a humane manner, meaning, the person doesn't mistreat anyone or allow anyone to be mistreated. I'm attempting to become human but right now I'm just a person who is a victim of racism (white supremacy). Once I become human I will not be a victim of anything.

I don't have any background in "human sexuality and relationships". For one thing I'm not human. To me a human is a person who acts in a humane manner, meaning, the person doesn't mistreat anyone or allow anyone to be mistreated. I'm attempting to become human but right now I'm just a person who is a victim of racism (white supremacy). Once I become human I will not be a victim of anything.



are you married? for how long?

I don't have any background in "human sexuality and relationships". For one thing I'm not human. To me a human is a person who acts in a humane manner, meaning, the person doesn't mistreat anyone or allow anyone to be mistreated. I'm attempting to become human but right now I'm just a person who is a victim of racism (white supremacy). Once I become human I will not be a victim of anything.

i am quite human and qualified to speak on matters human.
if you are not maybe you should not?

logically, any man who spends his life time with one women cannot have a varied experience. you cannot have it both ways.
i ask, which is it?

You logic is... interesting to say the least ;) A man moving from one woman to another.. doing the same thing over and over til it gets tiresome.. growth and development stops, so they move on.. to start again.. new partner.. same cycle. versus a man who stays with one woman, doing the same thing over and over til it gets tiresome, then instead of moving on, they move up and do something new, with a common purpose based on their commitment to each other? hmmmm.. both experiences are quite varied.

lastly, i am alone and i am not getting any. is that a critique? who says that i want any? did I?
my situation is exactly as i want it to be. do you have a problem with that?

No, Brother James - I have no problem with that, or with you and/or your chosen lifestyle. I find your contributions to this thread interesting.. so I asked!

I try to approach topics I dont relate to with questions.. in the hope of gaining a better understanding of what's being said - before I enter debate with my own views. Try being the key word :lol:

anyone who sets them selves up as a sage and starts dispensing rules and regulations should not have a problem with having their bonefides questioned.
that includes me.

anyone who sets them selves up as a sage and starts dispensing rules and regulations should not have a problem with having their bonefides questioned.
that includes me.

you recently posted about a teacher having flaws but you felt that didnt affect his message poorly.
It seems to me, that now you want to check the teacher with the argument that his possible flaws should discount his message.
:?:

A man moving from one woman to another.. doing the same thing over and over til it gets tiresome.. growth and development stops, so they move on..
to start again.. new partner.. same cycle.

this is your scenario. it say more about you than about me.
i have had a life of growth. it is still occurring.

you recently posted about a teacher having flaws but you felt that didnt affect his message poorly.
It seems to me, that now you want to check the teacher with the argument that his possible flaws should discount his message.
:?:

no, i asked if flaws in the messenger should affect the message. i did not give an opinion.

in this case, i ask if the teacher has any qualifications at all.
that is a legitimate question.

ummmmm. ok :)

If non-white people would follow THE LOGIC of the message instead of trying to follow each other they wouldn't need qualifications.

I have pictures on my album you can take a look at if you're interested in seeing.

The three words we say the most when ending a relationship is "I didn't know". "I didn't know" that would make you mad. "I didn't know" you take $5,000.00 out of the bank account every six months and go on a vacation with your friends. "I didn't know" you like threesomes. "I didn't know" you like to be in relationships with a person and still have sex with other people.

The reason people don't know what they need to know is because people don't usually ask enough questions about the things that are important for them to know before we make it to the bedroom. Once we make it to the bedroom and if the sex is good some of the things that used to matter become less important because we begin to marinalize some of our wants and even some of our needs because that sex need is being met. A simple problem to solve. Your Mother probably told you how to solve many times when you were growing up.

"If you don't know then ask". Simple solution but sometimes we overlook the simplest things. Ask the questions that are most important to you about the things that are most important for you to know...before you begin to marginalize anything.

yeah, i tried that "talk to em before you hit it", now i'm celibate.....:qqb005:

yeah, i tried that "talk to em before you hit it", now i'm celibate.....:qqb005:

Yes Sir. Thank you for your comments.

look at all the question

can't we just chill and learn each other?

lol

so sad the state of relations nowadays

lol




I feel ya bruh.

What up bruh? Do you feel that asking these questions should be in lieu of just learning about each other? Cause a person could say anything in answer to these and even give truthful all the right answers and still the relationship could flop. I think some of them are good questions that any sane person would either ask or just come up in convo. But some would make me bolt thinkin the person askin was touched.:haha: BTW #10 is the egm. Thats my absolute deal killer

What up bruh? Do you feel that asking these questions should be in lieu of just learning about each other? Cause a person could say anything in answer to these and even give truthful all the right answers and still the relationship could flop. I think some of them are good questions that any sane person would either ask or just come up in convo. But some would make me bolt thinkin the person askin was touched.:haha: BTW #10 is the egm. Thats my absolute deal killer

Think of it this way...you're in school learning about what is called "American History". You don't ask any questions or only a very few. No books in this class. You just kinda show up and talk to other students and the teacher to mkake your assumptions about how things work and kinda see how they react to being in a class about "American History". Then the test comes up. You ain't gonna pass.

This is how we manage getting to know each other. In direct answer to your question, yes, the list of questions are just questions that many people have compiled over a period of 5 years of the questions that are most important for them to know that are used in their process to get to know other people. In the process of getting to know someone there are things that people need to know and things that people would like to know. The longer we date a person the more comfortable we become with that person and the number of questions become fewer and fewer because the number of things we'd like to know become fewer and fewer and the number of things we need to know become fewer and fewer the more confortable we get with that person. If we tell ourselves the truth. Then the test comes up.

Imagine going in for a job with no resume and without filling out an application. You're just gonna hang around the job site and become comfortable with the people there and they become comfortable with you then they'll start paying you. Doesn't really matter as long as all of you are "together". Yeah...right! That is not the way it works, you hafta answer some very important questions that are important for them to know and you'd better have some questions of your own that are important for you to know. Otherwise you could find yourself working 60 hours a week and only getting paid for 40. No questions, just gonna hang out with the people there and you end up working 20 free hours a week. That's the test. Shoulda asked questions...all of the questions you could think of.

The questions are just part of the process for building a relationship with a life-long partner. If a person is not interested in building a life-long partnership why ask that many questions anyway? Just make some arrangements for sex and get to it. Why ask that many questions anyway if your objective is sexual intercourse? Unless you are planning on deceiving someone. You will end up deceiving yourself if you play that game long enough...and many of us do this. Just tell the person what you want and get to it. During my existence there have been females who have approached me that told me they just wanted sexual intercourse. They actually said that out of their mouths. And they were attractive!!!

But if a person is interested in building a life-long partnership with someone (male and female) there are certain things they are going to want to know and they may not know all of the things they need to know at the beginning. This list can probably help them in that regard as well. But there are some things people just gotta know to ask that they can NOT afford to wait to solve when the subject reaches problem status. By then it could be too late.

This is just part of the process....asking questions. You also have to spend time with the person to see if what they say matches what they do. If you don't have what they say because you didn't ask them enough questions then it is just you interpreting what they person does to be what you think it is...not what it actually means to the person doing it. And many of us make that kind of misjudgement on a daily basis. You have to know what they think it is and the best way to know that is to ask. What it means to the person performing the action whatever the action is they are performing...you hafta know what it means to them. That way you are NOT interpreting something incorrectly.

Most of the people reading this will still get themselves into situations where they are saying "I didn't know" in the process of splittin' up. But if a substantial number of non-white females begin to use this technique and be able to explain to the non-white males why it is important, that would solve a lot of relationship problems between non-white males and non-white females overnight because any black male...who is really a black male...is gonna follow black females. No need for a lotta jumping up and down, screaming and shouting, cussing each other out, punching and kicking...just talking about what is important and why and moving toward and UNDERSTANDING of what is expected and how things are going to work in the life-long partnership they are building.

Think of it this way...you're in school learning about what is called "American History". You don't ask any questions or only a very few. No books in this class. You just kinda show up and talk to other students and the teacher to mkake your assumptions about how things work and kinda see how they react to being in a class about "American History". Then the test comes up. You ain't gonna pass.

This is how we manage getting to know each other. In direct answer to your question, yes, the list of questions are just questions that many people have compiled over a period of 5 years of the questions that are most important for them to know that are used in their process to get to know other people. In the process of getting to know someone there are things that people need to know and things that people would like to know. The longer we date a person the more comfortable we become with that person and the number of questions become fewer and fewer because the number of things we'd like to know become fewer and fewer and the number of things we need to know become fewer and fewer the more confortable we get with that person. If we tell ourselves the truth. Then the test comes up.

Imagine going in for a job with no resume and without filling out an application. You're just gonna hang around the job site and become comfortable with the people there and they become comfortable with you then they'll start paying you. Doesn't really matter as long as all of you are "together". Yeah...right! That is not the way it works, you hafta answer some very important questions that are important for them to know and you'd better have some questions of your own that are important for you to know. Otherwise you could find yourself working 60 hours a week and only getting paid for 40. No questions, just gonna hang out with the people there and you end up working 20 free hours a week. That's the test. Shoulda asked questions...all of the questions you could think of.

The questions are just part of the process for building a relationship with a life-long partner. If a person is not interested in building a life-long partnership why ask that many questions anyway? Just make some arrangements for sex and get to it. Why ask that many questions anyway if your objective is sexual intercourse? Unless you are planning on deceiving someone. You will end up deceiving yourself if you play that game long enough...and many of us do this. Just tell the person what you want and get to it. During my existence there have been females who have approached me that told me they just wanted sexual intercourse. They actually said that out of their mouths. And they were attractive!!!

But if a person is interested in building a life-long partnership with someone (male and female) there are certain things they are going to want to know and they may not know all of the things they need to know at the beginning. This list can probably help them in that regard as well. But there are some things people just gotta know to ask that they can NOT afford to wait to solve when the subject reaches problem status. By then it could be too late.

This is just part of the process....asking questions. You also have to spend time with the person to see if what they say matches what they do. If you don't have what they say because you didn't ask them enough questions then it is just you interpreting what they person does to be what you think it is...not what it actually means to the person doing it. And many of us make that kind of misjudgement on a daily basis. You have to know what they think it is and the best way to know that is to ask. What it means to the person performing the action whatever the action is they are performing...you hafta know what it means to them. That way you are NOT interpreting something incorrectly.

Most of the people reading this will still get themselves into situations where they are saying "I didn't know" in the process of splittin' up. But if a substantial number of non-white females begin to use this technique and be able to explain to the non-white males why it is important, that would solve a lot of relationship problems between non-white males and non-white females overnight because any black male...who is really a black male...is gonna follow black females. No need for a lotta jumping up and down, screaming and shouting, cussing each other out, punching and kicking...just talking about what is important and why and moving toward and UNDERSTANDING of what is expected and how things are going to work in the life-long partnership they are building.



I actually visit your site pretty often. I have the questions on file. The MOST valid point of this whole thing is communication. As for people seeking serious long term relationships... when you get to the 1/2 century mark, you need to think of only those kind.:) LOL, A few of the questions tickled me. Ok cool. Maybe this will help a lot of our peole out of the "notch on gunbelt" thing. That helps none of us. Oh, and one key point that anyone reding this may want to store: ANY and ALL relationships, whether they be shackin marriage or what need CONSTANT work! If you dont work on a relationship I can pretty much promise you it will NOT work out! A lifetime commitment is an investment of time emotions etc... TREAT it as such. thanks for the post.:wave::wave:

I actually visit your site pretty often. I have the questions on file. The MOST valid point of this whole thing is communication. As for people seeking serious long term relationships... when you get to the 1/2 century mark, you need to think of only those kind.:) LOL, A few of the questions tickled me. Ok cool. Maybe this will help a lot of our peole out of the "notch on gunbelt" thing. That helps none of us. Oh, and one key point that anyone reding this may want to store: ANY and ALL relationships, whether they be shackin marriage or what need CONSTANT work! If you dont work on a relationship I can pretty much promise you it will NOT work out! A lifetime commitment is an investment of time emotions etc... TREAT it as such. thanks for the post.:wave::wave:

Thank you Sir. What you say about constant work is absolutely correct. The questions should never stop. The questions should continue for a lifetime. Some things you need to find out immediately, most things you should find out before sexual intercourse and some things can wait until what are called your "golden years". The sooner you know your mate the more prepared you are in solving problems even before they become problems...what is generally called mitigating risks.

Thank you Sir. What you say about constant work is absolutely correct. The questions should never stop. The questions should continue for a lifetime. Some things you need to find out immediately, most things you should find out before sexual intercourse and some things can wait until what are called your "golden years". The sooner you know your mate the more prepared you are in solving problems even before they become problems...what is generally called mitigating risks.



I appreciate you brother. For being you. A soldier.