AACOOLDRE
11-13-2001, 11:27 AM
MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT
By Andre Austin, playwright
Cast of Characters
Dookieman
Lucky charm
Alevata
Mailman
Pea Buff
Hush Puppies
Condominium Nice
Jenny Lapez
Net Jetson
Mike Jetson
**** shoveler
High priest
Queen Juno
Dookieman enters Brown eyes clinic to discuss his Homosexual tendencies flaring up once again for his secret lover in the White house. Dookieman sits down in one of 50 chairs all arranged in a diabolical circle. After Dookieman sits down all in the audience say: Good mourning Dookieman how are you? Welcome to Homosexuals anonymous. We are here to help feel free to express yourself and feel right at home. Dookieman stands up to thank everybody and begins to tell his story.
Dookieman: Hi my name is Dookieman and I have homosexual tendencies. For the past three weeks I’ve been visited with this same dream.
**** shoveler: What is the dream talking about?
Dookieman: I’m visiting the white house. And the marine honor guards escort me to the Oval office. And me and Executive Hush Puppies start getting it on under Lincoln’s desk. While all of this is going on Hush just keeps on saying: “Make no mistake about it. I’m loving all of it. Then his secretary Condominium Nice is running around in circle in the Oval room with just silk black thong on. Just before we are finished the first lady comes in and tries to stop us. Condominium gives her and the vice president sleeping pills that makes them sleep in a coma for exactly 4 years. Dookieman is appointed vice-president so he can be very close all the time with President Hush.
Luck charm: I’m concerned dookieman .What makes you keep on having this same dream? It sounds very weird.
Dookieman: Well before President Hush was president I became acquainted with him when he was in high school. I was a police officer then and I did hair at a local barbershop called “Naps & Braids”. Hush had just graduated from Texas A.M and was planning to go to Yale. His regular barbershop was full and he needed to hurry up and get his hair cut so he could take pictures for his high school yearbook. I remember it like yesterday. Alveta was having a conversation about about Jenny Lapez.
Alveta: I tell you one thing. I’m tired of the Emmy’s making a fuss over Lapez butt. Black women been having ***** for days. As a matter of fact we had ***** for a million years. Remember them bones they found in Africa. I think her name was Lucy. Man they had her pelvis all out and man they knew she had some bootie.
Dookieman: Yeah that’s right. Black women are the creators, the designers the originators of boootay. Larry Flynt and Hugh can take the pictures but they can’t create the body. Its disrespectful for the media to flock to her when we had what she got before she had it.
Alveta: That’s right. They did the same thing Bo De De came out with dat movie “Nine”. She was all in her bikini and then cornbraids came into style. Man I’m telling you its not right.
Dookieman: But it also aint right for us to be downing the Jetson family either. Now Mike Jetson cut his nose and we say he hates being black.
Alevata: That’s not it. He paints himself with anthrax power too. I’m sorry I mean make up powder.
Dookieman: Now what I tell you about interrupting me. Now his own sister La’ Tay Tay who’s a hostile witness did say he gots a skin disease.
Alevata: Leprosy?
Dookieman: No, No. Its some scientific terminology that’s above my head. But Jetson’s managers wanted him to be appealing worldwide so they decided to get him a Humpty dance Nose job. It was all about the money. But nobody says the white ones hate themselves when they get injections in their butts and lips. It’s a double standard.
Alevata: Well it don’t matter to make cause I will **** a fake *** in a minute. And even though Lapez broke up with Pea Buff I would still get with that.
Dookieman: Man you will get with a fish if it had legs. It would be hard for me to get with a girl who drops her man when the piglet police is trying to throw you in the pen. **** that was cold.
Alevata: Its all in them greens man. Buff was a liability to her commercial endeavors. She had her own shades, clothes, CD’s movies. The dude was too much excessive weight.
Dookieman: How could she love him when she left him and got married so fast? It further proves she was just using him.
Alevata: I don’t think that’s the case. But I know Buff is moving on and is bigger than he’s ever been.
Dookieman: Yes, I even heard Buff tried to get with Net Jetson, Mike Jetson sister. But Net don’t play that. What the hell do Net want with Buff she already got a poodle name puff.
Mailman: all of you guys better be careful what you say. You know the government got bugs in here. You know they love shutting down black businesses. They will take these recordings to Q and other black elites so when the time comes to take you out you will have been isolated with no support because they edited your voices to make it appear you talking about other black people. When the government is against they want as many other people to be against you too. Especially when you’re black because they don’t want it to look racial.
Alevata: The divide and conquer game?
Mailman: You got it.
HUSH walks inside the barbershop
Dookieman: Well hello there.
Hush: Hello
Dookieman: We haven’t had any good-looking white boys come in here in a long time. What can I do for you young man?
Hush: I just need a regular haircut for my yearbook pictures.
Dookieman: Okay I will give you an army fade. You look like the military type.
Hush: Well okay, that sounds all right. Be careful with lining up my neck because its tender.
Dookieman: Yes and its sexy red too.
A mutual sexual attraction develops between the two as Dookieman rubs his fingers and shampoos Hush’s hair. After he washes his hair he blow-dries it. As he blow-dries his hair Dookieman “accidentally” rubs his hard on Hush’s shoulders. Hush is aroused and the attraction is sealed with the young man who didn’t have a girlfriend. Phone numbers are secretly exchanged. As Hush leaves he comically laughs at Alevata talking about the top ten big butt women.
Alevata: Now lets check it out. Who gots the best *** in the United Samites.
Mailman. Banks is one. And Serena is two, Sanaa Lathan, Janet Jackson, Campbell, Amanda Lewis just to name them off
Alevata: What about Little Kim
Mailman: Yes I saw Little Kim on TEB. I saw the evidence cause she had on some pants that was displaying the crack of her ***. I could of whipped out my one eyed monster and got it on right then and there.
Flashback going back to Browneyes Clinic
Lucky charm: Hush went off to Texas A.M then to Yale. How did you guys hook up?
Dookieman: Well he flunked out of Texas A.M so his father who was a state rep and alumni from Yale got him in. During spring break from Yale he came back home driving drunk in his Jeep. I was happening to be on patrol at that time in the city of Victoria, Texas. I didn’t know who he was until I ordered him out the car. Then I looked into his eyes and knew who he was. But he was so drunk he didn’t know who I was so I played a practical joke on him. I ordered him to spread eagle and put his hands on top of the car. I then started to fondle his dick and balls. I was only touching for about 45 seconds and god **** he comes all over himself. I said to myself. **** well **** it. You done blew my dick for tonight so I started to escort him to his car and I was going to radio a cab to take him home when back up came.
Jay bugs: Whats going on partner Dookieman. Is everything okay? Who is this mug? Some drunk.
Dookieman: Yes I believe so.
Jay Bugs: Well I will take him in because my shift is finished in 30 minutes anyway.
Dookieman: No you don’t have to do that.
Jay Bugs: Its okay. Its all right I will process him down the station.
AS police officer Jay Bugs drives Hush down to the station. While in the car Hush said that Jay bugs would be in trouble because his father was a state rep and soon to be director of the CIA. Jay Bugs didn’t believe him because he was so drunk. Jay Bugs stripped search Hush and found crack cocaine hidden in between the crack in his Hush. If it wasn’t for the fact of Jay bugs being a crack addict and smoking up all the evidence Hush would have been charged with possession of drugs along with drinking and driving. After Jay bugs went home Dookieman secretly paid his fine and got him out of jail for drunk driving but was unable to expunge the court record so that his daddy Hush II wouldn’t find out.Dookieman then took him to his apartment on ranch ave.While in Dookieman’s bedroom they have conversations.
Dookieman: You still love me Hush
Hush: Dook you know that I do. But I must tell you I’m running for governor after I finish Yale and I think before then we are going to have to end this relationship. I’m going to have to get a wife and appear normal.
Dookieman: Well if you end the relationship I will tell everybody that we are lovers and that you were arrested for drunk driving.
Hush: Lets make a plan. I guess we could do things together from time to time on the side. I tell you what every time I give a news interview on television or in the newspaper and I say “Make no mistake about it” that means we will secretly hook up with each other at Victoria, Texas at 12 midnight.
Dookieman: Ok that sounds good. Enough of that business talk lets get into some freaky ****. I got some K-9 jelly.
K-9 jelly is used to subjugate unruly females. The Jails are overcrowded and there’s no room for female inmates so we inject them with K-9 jelly, which makes females butts flatter than a basketball backboard. But when k-9 jelly is used on men it makes their phallus grow 6 inches longer during sex. Their were virtual no crime committed by females in Texas because they were afraid of getting K-9ed.
**** shoveler: So what happened after he won the election for governor of Texas?
Dookieman: to save him any future embarrassment I moved to the state of Mint.
Lucky charm: While the two of you were in different states did you ever hook back up with him.
Dookieman: Only once and I was so mad and frustrated about it that I decided to get his attention so he would call me.
Lucy charm: So what did you do to attract your man’s attention?
Dookieman: Well I knew he had undercover state troopers who flew in ever since I moved up here to the state Mint to keep an eye on me just in case I spill the beans to anyone. So he had his lynch men follow me around and tap my phone. But before I tell you what I told him its important to know how I told him. Governor Hush and myself knew his men where listening in so we decided to develop hidden ways of communication. Sometimes we would take a song from a singer and convert it into a secret message. In order to know what the secret message was we would send out a poem to each other. To understand the code from one poem you can to read from another poem first. After you read the second poem it then leads you to a body of information you have to translate into a code. For example:
Code words
Music are code words its better
You must find each letter
Off of the notes of lines
Start from A-Z and you will be just fine
Bible words are encrypted too
Count all the words in black and red
Educated ones know what to do
Its not complicated no need to scratch heads
Brandy wine is sweet and cool
But TLC is a better gift
Baby, Baby, Baby don’t make me a fool
Be together forever honey I will never switch
009
Discovery
You claim to have discovered the code
Now lets see if you can switch the mode
Back up for me just about one line
Then you shall have all three infants some of the time
If you’re so smart then figure this out
And learn how dookieman exercises his bout
Count in three’s like Catholics do
Then you will know what to do
Count three times from right to left
Then you might just have the alphabet
Every verse of a line count three words for ABC’s
Continue this one from A-Z
Switch that *** baby and do it fast
Figure out the secret and I will let you pass
Some words repeat themselves
Count them in doubles for ourselves
Express yourself from cotton to thongs
Please don’t get this message wrong
Complete this and we turn to another Song
Can you keep it up all night long ? gottababybabybabybabygottabefallsit**thisbabybabyf oritmy**okgirlmyok
Translate this email or call me back
Then we will do it again on another track
As we get better we will add two or three together
Dummies included to mess up the weather
009 (My code word is 009 and dookies is 006)
Dookie: Hush all ready knew though previous conversations to convert TLC song into code words. First let me recite the poem then I will spell out the code then translate the above message. I’m not going to write the whole song out just the first 26 lines because there are only 26 letters in the alphabet. Now every third word equals a letter. And repeat words add the fourth with the third.
Baby-Baby-Baby
And you want my love (A =want
Well that’s alright (B= alright
Well it will be there for you morning, noon and night (C=Will
But you gotta be good (D=gotta
And do it right (E =it
Ain’t got no time for part-time loving in my life (F=no
Well you wanna be loved (uh) (G=wanna
Hey that’s O.K (H=Ok
Cause it falls in line right with my sexuality (I=falls
But you gottta be down (J=gotta
A nickel gotta be true (K=gotta be
Cause otherwise this “B” ain’t got no time for you (L=This
Chorus:
Oh baby, baby, baby (M= Baby
I got so much love in me (N=So
Ooh (baby, baby baby (O =Baby Baby
Cause if you’re gonna get me off (P=Youre
You got to love me deep ( Q=to
Well you want my heart (R=want my
And all my time ( S=my
Well it wont be there if you can’t deal with my mind (T=wont
Cause a girl like me (U=girl
Wont stand for less ( V=for
Dookie: there’s no point in translating further because the hidden message doesn’t contain w,x, y, or z. The message says that “Dookie loves hush”.
Lucky charm: okay but what was the message that was sent to Governor Hush that cause so much alarm a few years back.
Dookie:Well I told him in a coded message that a man was driving a truck from the state of Mint to Texas with 20 million killer bees. And that they were trained to kill just human beings. Man, Governor went into a panic he had his Police/fire captains go on live on TCNN and tell everybody to lock their doors and shut their widows. The whole capital @ Austin tripped over horse manure to get on their horses and run home.
**** shoveler: Was this about the time you guys relationship turned sour?
Dookieman: Yes indeed everything went downhill from there. This is the time he started to beef up an aggressive counter intelligence program against me. He first sicked a high priest from the state of Mint on me. High priest began to attack me in his internal church news letter on a weekly bases.
Lucky charm: so how did you survive all the attacks?
Dookieman: Well I took advise and read from 1970’s internal memos of some former black Panthers. They advise me on a lot of stuff. For example read this:
Internal memo
Black Panther Party for self defense
Subject: Government corruption
What to do when you think the government has committed a CRIME?
Minister Farrakhan has stated the FBI has over 2,000 tricks to destabilize people of color in America and overseas.
Knowing this what do you do if you find yourself a victim of their criminal conduct?
When the government is against you, you must first become aware that your constitutional rights will be suspended. If you report the criminal conduct of governmental officials and their close associates their first objective is to isolate you and eliminate anyone who can support your claims. If you have any witnesses they will either bribe or blackmail them away from you. So before you make any revelations get written and recorded statements from your witnesses. But this may run into a problem too because they bride your witnesses into saying you tried to get witnesses to lie for you. If you’re not close to your witness you may consider using them because they might abandon you when the government turns on the heat.
Once you report criminal activity of the government getting fired from your job is certain to happen. Your Employer will dig up stuff on you to make it appear your being fired for another reason to disguise the pretextual issues. You have 100% chance of being fired especially if your employer receives governmental contracts.
What to expect during the course of your pursuit of justice. The perpetrators main objective is to place stumbling blocks before. They desire to know what your gonna do or what pre-know before you do. The best way to do this is by planting listening devises in your house and car. Maybe even a camera in your crib and tracking devise. All Bank accounts and ATM’s will be looked at daily. They want to know also what you read, write eat and watch on television. Expect your mail to be intercepted and destroyed especially if its to an attorney. All other mail will be looked at for secret messages re-package and sent to the party intended. Expect to have your cell phone and pagers to start having mysterious electronic dysfunctions especially if the government doesn’t have a court order to tap into them.
Fighting the battle alone is just what governmental criminals would like for you do it. For by doing that it makes it easier for them to abuse you, lock you up in a mental ward or prison or jail. By isolating yourself you have no independent witnesses to counter malicious labels or deeds they throw unto you. So always remember to hang together or get hung separately by yourself.
By BB Steel Minister of Information
Lucky charm: God **** that was a most compelling document. Has it helped you?
Dookieman: Yes and no. With the help of the BPP I was able to duck the wrath of Hush and the high priest for four years until Hush decided to run for Executive of the United Samites. All of his friends from the invisible bone brotherhood encouraged him to seek the office. Hush didn’t really want to run for Executive because of an oracle that was read to him while he went to go fetch a bottle of wine in the basement of his Castle.
Luck charm: What did the Oracle say.
Dookieman: Well the lady claimed to have been the Ghost of Queen Juno who appeared before Hush in the middle of the night. The oracle went something like this.
Oracle of doom
The curse of slavery is near
Wash All the sores cause God will spare
Five used to be a sign of God & family
Now its upside down scales counting for nine willy-nilly ?
Out of the dark dungeon caves
A big bird shall arise with wings of names
It carries much black water in its belly it saves
Twin statues will be brought down by its flames
All of the planets in space
Frowned in much disgrace
On the actions of this rebel bird
But the Eagle from Samites will get the last words
Regurgitated bubbled water turned into boiling fire
The evil bird finally full filled its plans and desire
The robot man sniped from his gates
By the pilot from another state
Some are happy the tin creature didn’t take
The White huts from across a self-made lake
The prize was his but the time was late
What seemed wrong was another mans mistake
Lucky Charm: God **** that was a very deep oracle.
Dookieman: Queen Juno laid it down. But too bad Hush was unable to translate the Oracular message. If Hush would have not sent his double to Yale maybe he would have taken or understood the clear red flags and warnings.
Lucky Charm: Poor soul. I pity him very much
Dookieman: I have much sympathy for him now too.
Lucky charm: So does this mean you gonna start standing shoulder to shoulder with your man now.
Dookieman. Naw. He has plenty to do that. I think I will guard his back.
Lucky Charm: His back?
Dookieman: With everybody at his shoulders who’s gonna guard his back? So I will be behind Executive Hush all the way.
Lucky Charm: But what if he gets mad and starts to shout?
Dookieman: I will just have to explain what I’m all about
Lucy Charm: What if he spins you off and gives you a shake?
Dookieman: Then that will be his last mistake
(Curtains)
Ó Copyrighted
By Andre Austin, playwright
Cast of Characters
Dookieman
Lucky charm
Alevata
Mailman
Pea Buff
Hush Puppies
Condominium Nice
Jenny Lapez
Net Jetson
Mike Jetson
**** shoveler
High priest
Queen Juno
Dookieman enters Brown eyes clinic to discuss his Homosexual tendencies flaring up once again for his secret lover in the White house. Dookieman sits down in one of 50 chairs all arranged in a diabolical circle. After Dookieman sits down all in the audience say: Good mourning Dookieman how are you? Welcome to Homosexuals anonymous. We are here to help feel free to express yourself and feel right at home. Dookieman stands up to thank everybody and begins to tell his story.
Dookieman: Hi my name is Dookieman and I have homosexual tendencies. For the past three weeks I’ve been visited with this same dream.
**** shoveler: What is the dream talking about?
Dookieman: I’m visiting the white house. And the marine honor guards escort me to the Oval office. And me and Executive Hush Puppies start getting it on under Lincoln’s desk. While all of this is going on Hush just keeps on saying: “Make no mistake about it. I’m loving all of it. Then his secretary Condominium Nice is running around in circle in the Oval room with just silk black thong on. Just before we are finished the first lady comes in and tries to stop us. Condominium gives her and the vice president sleeping pills that makes them sleep in a coma for exactly 4 years. Dookieman is appointed vice-president so he can be very close all the time with President Hush.
Luck charm: I’m concerned dookieman .What makes you keep on having this same dream? It sounds very weird.
Dookieman: Well before President Hush was president I became acquainted with him when he was in high school. I was a police officer then and I did hair at a local barbershop called “Naps & Braids”. Hush had just graduated from Texas A.M and was planning to go to Yale. His regular barbershop was full and he needed to hurry up and get his hair cut so he could take pictures for his high school yearbook. I remember it like yesterday. Alveta was having a conversation about about Jenny Lapez.
Alveta: I tell you one thing. I’m tired of the Emmy’s making a fuss over Lapez butt. Black women been having ***** for days. As a matter of fact we had ***** for a million years. Remember them bones they found in Africa. I think her name was Lucy. Man they had her pelvis all out and man they knew she had some bootie.
Dookieman: Yeah that’s right. Black women are the creators, the designers the originators of boootay. Larry Flynt and Hugh can take the pictures but they can’t create the body. Its disrespectful for the media to flock to her when we had what she got before she had it.
Alveta: That’s right. They did the same thing Bo De De came out with dat movie “Nine”. She was all in her bikini and then cornbraids came into style. Man I’m telling you its not right.
Dookieman: But it also aint right for us to be downing the Jetson family either. Now Mike Jetson cut his nose and we say he hates being black.
Alevata: That’s not it. He paints himself with anthrax power too. I’m sorry I mean make up powder.
Dookieman: Now what I tell you about interrupting me. Now his own sister La’ Tay Tay who’s a hostile witness did say he gots a skin disease.
Alevata: Leprosy?
Dookieman: No, No. Its some scientific terminology that’s above my head. But Jetson’s managers wanted him to be appealing worldwide so they decided to get him a Humpty dance Nose job. It was all about the money. But nobody says the white ones hate themselves when they get injections in their butts and lips. It’s a double standard.
Alevata: Well it don’t matter to make cause I will **** a fake *** in a minute. And even though Lapez broke up with Pea Buff I would still get with that.
Dookieman: Man you will get with a fish if it had legs. It would be hard for me to get with a girl who drops her man when the piglet police is trying to throw you in the pen. **** that was cold.
Alevata: Its all in them greens man. Buff was a liability to her commercial endeavors. She had her own shades, clothes, CD’s movies. The dude was too much excessive weight.
Dookieman: How could she love him when she left him and got married so fast? It further proves she was just using him.
Alevata: I don’t think that’s the case. But I know Buff is moving on and is bigger than he’s ever been.
Dookieman: Yes, I even heard Buff tried to get with Net Jetson, Mike Jetson sister. But Net don’t play that. What the hell do Net want with Buff she already got a poodle name puff.
Mailman: all of you guys better be careful what you say. You know the government got bugs in here. You know they love shutting down black businesses. They will take these recordings to Q and other black elites so when the time comes to take you out you will have been isolated with no support because they edited your voices to make it appear you talking about other black people. When the government is against they want as many other people to be against you too. Especially when you’re black because they don’t want it to look racial.
Alevata: The divide and conquer game?
Mailman: You got it.
HUSH walks inside the barbershop
Dookieman: Well hello there.
Hush: Hello
Dookieman: We haven’t had any good-looking white boys come in here in a long time. What can I do for you young man?
Hush: I just need a regular haircut for my yearbook pictures.
Dookieman: Okay I will give you an army fade. You look like the military type.
Hush: Well okay, that sounds all right. Be careful with lining up my neck because its tender.
Dookieman: Yes and its sexy red too.
A mutual sexual attraction develops between the two as Dookieman rubs his fingers and shampoos Hush’s hair. After he washes his hair he blow-dries it. As he blow-dries his hair Dookieman “accidentally” rubs his hard on Hush’s shoulders. Hush is aroused and the attraction is sealed with the young man who didn’t have a girlfriend. Phone numbers are secretly exchanged. As Hush leaves he comically laughs at Alevata talking about the top ten big butt women.
Alevata: Now lets check it out. Who gots the best *** in the United Samites.
Mailman. Banks is one. And Serena is two, Sanaa Lathan, Janet Jackson, Campbell, Amanda Lewis just to name them off
Alevata: What about Little Kim
Mailman: Yes I saw Little Kim on TEB. I saw the evidence cause she had on some pants that was displaying the crack of her ***. I could of whipped out my one eyed monster and got it on right then and there.
Flashback going back to Browneyes Clinic
Lucky charm: Hush went off to Texas A.M then to Yale. How did you guys hook up?
Dookieman: Well he flunked out of Texas A.M so his father who was a state rep and alumni from Yale got him in. During spring break from Yale he came back home driving drunk in his Jeep. I was happening to be on patrol at that time in the city of Victoria, Texas. I didn’t know who he was until I ordered him out the car. Then I looked into his eyes and knew who he was. But he was so drunk he didn’t know who I was so I played a practical joke on him. I ordered him to spread eagle and put his hands on top of the car. I then started to fondle his dick and balls. I was only touching for about 45 seconds and god **** he comes all over himself. I said to myself. **** well **** it. You done blew my dick for tonight so I started to escort him to his car and I was going to radio a cab to take him home when back up came.
Jay bugs: Whats going on partner Dookieman. Is everything okay? Who is this mug? Some drunk.
Dookieman: Yes I believe so.
Jay Bugs: Well I will take him in because my shift is finished in 30 minutes anyway.
Dookieman: No you don’t have to do that.
Jay Bugs: Its okay. Its all right I will process him down the station.
AS police officer Jay Bugs drives Hush down to the station. While in the car Hush said that Jay bugs would be in trouble because his father was a state rep and soon to be director of the CIA. Jay Bugs didn’t believe him because he was so drunk. Jay Bugs stripped search Hush and found crack cocaine hidden in between the crack in his Hush. If it wasn’t for the fact of Jay bugs being a crack addict and smoking up all the evidence Hush would have been charged with possession of drugs along with drinking and driving. After Jay bugs went home Dookieman secretly paid his fine and got him out of jail for drunk driving but was unable to expunge the court record so that his daddy Hush II wouldn’t find out.Dookieman then took him to his apartment on ranch ave.While in Dookieman’s bedroom they have conversations.
Dookieman: You still love me Hush
Hush: Dook you know that I do. But I must tell you I’m running for governor after I finish Yale and I think before then we are going to have to end this relationship. I’m going to have to get a wife and appear normal.
Dookieman: Well if you end the relationship I will tell everybody that we are lovers and that you were arrested for drunk driving.
Hush: Lets make a plan. I guess we could do things together from time to time on the side. I tell you what every time I give a news interview on television or in the newspaper and I say “Make no mistake about it” that means we will secretly hook up with each other at Victoria, Texas at 12 midnight.
Dookieman: Ok that sounds good. Enough of that business talk lets get into some freaky ****. I got some K-9 jelly.
K-9 jelly is used to subjugate unruly females. The Jails are overcrowded and there’s no room for female inmates so we inject them with K-9 jelly, which makes females butts flatter than a basketball backboard. But when k-9 jelly is used on men it makes their phallus grow 6 inches longer during sex. Their were virtual no crime committed by females in Texas because they were afraid of getting K-9ed.
**** shoveler: So what happened after he won the election for governor of Texas?
Dookieman: to save him any future embarrassment I moved to the state of Mint.
Lucky charm: While the two of you were in different states did you ever hook back up with him.
Dookieman: Only once and I was so mad and frustrated about it that I decided to get his attention so he would call me.
Lucy charm: So what did you do to attract your man’s attention?
Dookieman: Well I knew he had undercover state troopers who flew in ever since I moved up here to the state Mint to keep an eye on me just in case I spill the beans to anyone. So he had his lynch men follow me around and tap my phone. But before I tell you what I told him its important to know how I told him. Governor Hush and myself knew his men where listening in so we decided to develop hidden ways of communication. Sometimes we would take a song from a singer and convert it into a secret message. In order to know what the secret message was we would send out a poem to each other. To understand the code from one poem you can to read from another poem first. After you read the second poem it then leads you to a body of information you have to translate into a code. For example:
Code words
Music are code words its better
You must find each letter
Off of the notes of lines
Start from A-Z and you will be just fine
Bible words are encrypted too
Count all the words in black and red
Educated ones know what to do
Its not complicated no need to scratch heads
Brandy wine is sweet and cool
But TLC is a better gift
Baby, Baby, Baby don’t make me a fool
Be together forever honey I will never switch
009
Discovery
You claim to have discovered the code
Now lets see if you can switch the mode
Back up for me just about one line
Then you shall have all three infants some of the time
If you’re so smart then figure this out
And learn how dookieman exercises his bout
Count in three’s like Catholics do
Then you will know what to do
Count three times from right to left
Then you might just have the alphabet
Every verse of a line count three words for ABC’s
Continue this one from A-Z
Switch that *** baby and do it fast
Figure out the secret and I will let you pass
Some words repeat themselves
Count them in doubles for ourselves
Express yourself from cotton to thongs
Please don’t get this message wrong
Complete this and we turn to another Song
Can you keep it up all night long ? gottababybabybabybabygottabefallsit**thisbabybabyf oritmy**okgirlmyok
Translate this email or call me back
Then we will do it again on another track
As we get better we will add two or three together
Dummies included to mess up the weather
009 (My code word is 009 and dookies is 006)
Dookie: Hush all ready knew though previous conversations to convert TLC song into code words. First let me recite the poem then I will spell out the code then translate the above message. I’m not going to write the whole song out just the first 26 lines because there are only 26 letters in the alphabet. Now every third word equals a letter. And repeat words add the fourth with the third.
Baby-Baby-Baby
And you want my love (A =want
Well that’s alright (B= alright
Well it will be there for you morning, noon and night (C=Will
But you gotta be good (D=gotta
And do it right (E =it
Ain’t got no time for part-time loving in my life (F=no
Well you wanna be loved (uh) (G=wanna
Hey that’s O.K (H=Ok
Cause it falls in line right with my sexuality (I=falls
But you gottta be down (J=gotta
A nickel gotta be true (K=gotta be
Cause otherwise this “B” ain’t got no time for you (L=This
Chorus:
Oh baby, baby, baby (M= Baby
I got so much love in me (N=So
Ooh (baby, baby baby (O =Baby Baby
Cause if you’re gonna get me off (P=Youre
You got to love me deep ( Q=to
Well you want my heart (R=want my
And all my time ( S=my
Well it wont be there if you can’t deal with my mind (T=wont
Cause a girl like me (U=girl
Wont stand for less ( V=for
Dookie: there’s no point in translating further because the hidden message doesn’t contain w,x, y, or z. The message says that “Dookie loves hush”.
Lucky charm: okay but what was the message that was sent to Governor Hush that cause so much alarm a few years back.
Dookie:Well I told him in a coded message that a man was driving a truck from the state of Mint to Texas with 20 million killer bees. And that they were trained to kill just human beings. Man, Governor went into a panic he had his Police/fire captains go on live on TCNN and tell everybody to lock their doors and shut their widows. The whole capital @ Austin tripped over horse manure to get on their horses and run home.
**** shoveler: Was this about the time you guys relationship turned sour?
Dookieman: Yes indeed everything went downhill from there. This is the time he started to beef up an aggressive counter intelligence program against me. He first sicked a high priest from the state of Mint on me. High priest began to attack me in his internal church news letter on a weekly bases.
Lucky charm: so how did you survive all the attacks?
Dookieman: Well I took advise and read from 1970’s internal memos of some former black Panthers. They advise me on a lot of stuff. For example read this:
Internal memo
Black Panther Party for self defense
Subject: Government corruption
What to do when you think the government has committed a CRIME?
Minister Farrakhan has stated the FBI has over 2,000 tricks to destabilize people of color in America and overseas.
Knowing this what do you do if you find yourself a victim of their criminal conduct?
When the government is against you, you must first become aware that your constitutional rights will be suspended. If you report the criminal conduct of governmental officials and their close associates their first objective is to isolate you and eliminate anyone who can support your claims. If you have any witnesses they will either bribe or blackmail them away from you. So before you make any revelations get written and recorded statements from your witnesses. But this may run into a problem too because they bride your witnesses into saying you tried to get witnesses to lie for you. If you’re not close to your witness you may consider using them because they might abandon you when the government turns on the heat.
Once you report criminal activity of the government getting fired from your job is certain to happen. Your Employer will dig up stuff on you to make it appear your being fired for another reason to disguise the pretextual issues. You have 100% chance of being fired especially if your employer receives governmental contracts.
What to expect during the course of your pursuit of justice. The perpetrators main objective is to place stumbling blocks before. They desire to know what your gonna do or what pre-know before you do. The best way to do this is by planting listening devises in your house and car. Maybe even a camera in your crib and tracking devise. All Bank accounts and ATM’s will be looked at daily. They want to know also what you read, write eat and watch on television. Expect your mail to be intercepted and destroyed especially if its to an attorney. All other mail will be looked at for secret messages re-package and sent to the party intended. Expect to have your cell phone and pagers to start having mysterious electronic dysfunctions especially if the government doesn’t have a court order to tap into them.
Fighting the battle alone is just what governmental criminals would like for you do it. For by doing that it makes it easier for them to abuse you, lock you up in a mental ward or prison or jail. By isolating yourself you have no independent witnesses to counter malicious labels or deeds they throw unto you. So always remember to hang together or get hung separately by yourself.
By BB Steel Minister of Information
Lucky charm: God **** that was a most compelling document. Has it helped you?
Dookieman: Yes and no. With the help of the BPP I was able to duck the wrath of Hush and the high priest for four years until Hush decided to run for Executive of the United Samites. All of his friends from the invisible bone brotherhood encouraged him to seek the office. Hush didn’t really want to run for Executive because of an oracle that was read to him while he went to go fetch a bottle of wine in the basement of his Castle.
Luck charm: What did the Oracle say.
Dookieman: Well the lady claimed to have been the Ghost of Queen Juno who appeared before Hush in the middle of the night. The oracle went something like this.
Oracle of doom
The curse of slavery is near
Wash All the sores cause God will spare
Five used to be a sign of God & family
Now its upside down scales counting for nine willy-nilly ?
Out of the dark dungeon caves
A big bird shall arise with wings of names
It carries much black water in its belly it saves
Twin statues will be brought down by its flames
All of the planets in space
Frowned in much disgrace
On the actions of this rebel bird
But the Eagle from Samites will get the last words
Regurgitated bubbled water turned into boiling fire
The evil bird finally full filled its plans and desire
The robot man sniped from his gates
By the pilot from another state
Some are happy the tin creature didn’t take
The White huts from across a self-made lake
The prize was his but the time was late
What seemed wrong was another mans mistake
Lucky Charm: God **** that was a very deep oracle.
Dookieman: Queen Juno laid it down. But too bad Hush was unable to translate the Oracular message. If Hush would have not sent his double to Yale maybe he would have taken or understood the clear red flags and warnings.
Lucky Charm: Poor soul. I pity him very much
Dookieman: I have much sympathy for him now too.
Lucky charm: So does this mean you gonna start standing shoulder to shoulder with your man now.
Dookieman. Naw. He has plenty to do that. I think I will guard his back.
Lucky Charm: His back?
Dookieman: With everybody at his shoulders who’s gonna guard his back? So I will be behind Executive Hush all the way.
Lucky Charm: But what if he gets mad and starts to shout?
Dookieman: I will just have to explain what I’m all about
Lucy Charm: What if he spins you off and gives you a shake?
Dookieman: Then that will be his last mistake
(Curtains)
Ó Copyrighted